Chapter 9
Jack broke into a full run when he stepped out into the brisk afternoon air. His head was so full of frustration and shock that he could think of no better outlet at the moment. He ran up the street and through the park. He stopped by an empty bench to sit down and cry with his face in his hands.
Shawn stopped by the park to think of where Jack might have gone. [He's on foot, so he couldn't have gone too far.] As he continued to think, he happened to glance over at the park bench where Jack was. Shawn jumped out of his car and jogged over to him. As he approached him, Shawn could hear his half-brother bawling quietly, alone on the bench. Shawn sat down quietly next to Jack. It took a few moments for Jack to notice that Shawn was there.
"Whadda you want?"
"Nothing. Just checkin' to see if my brother was okay," neither Shawn nor Jack had looked at each other, sitting like casual strangers striking up a casual conversation.
"I'm fine, I just…" Jack trailed off as he began to wipe his tear-stained face on his sleeve. Shawn gave him a minute to compose himself.
"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I already know what happened." Shawn looked over at Jack. He could see Jack staring at the ground.
"What's to talk about…"
"Well, you're obviously upset. More than just pissed off, from where I sit."
"You know what the most frustrating thing is? I'm not confused. I'm not the least bit confused. I know how I feel and what I want and what to do. I've never been so sure of anything in my whole life."
"Care to fill me in?" Shawn, however, was confused at this point. Jack looked over at Shawn, "Have you ever had déjà vu so bad, that it was more like something or someone was just reminding you of something you had already known, but somehow you had forgotten?" Shawn gave Jack a bewildering look.
"Forget it…" Jack looked back at the ground.
"No… no I know what you mean, but I still don't understand what you're trying to tell me." Shawn leaned back, resting his arm along the back of the bench. Jack looked up at Shawn again, "I'm in love with Eric. I always have been, since the first time we met. I just never put the right words to my feelings. I've guarded how I felt so carefully that I've never fully recognized or expressed them how I could have, or should have for that matter." Shawn sat quietly, letting Jack speak.
"My gosh, I probably broke Eric's heart. I reacted awfully to him. It was so unexpected, but it wasn't, ya know?" Shawn nodded.
"It's like, how I wasn't that weirded out by Eric telling me he was in love with me. The night that he and I talked for the first time about it, I held him as he cried and it felt right. It felt…comfortable, natural."
"So now what are you gonna do?"
"Well, first I have to apologize to Eric. How was he when you left the apartment?"
"Upset, but I told him to stay there until I found you."
"I should go back and talk to him."
"Wouldn't hurt," Shawn grinned. Jack looked up at Shawn and reciprocated.
"Thanks for everything, man. You're the best brother a guy could hope for."
"I'm just glad that this all worked out. You two will need each other considering all the people you're fighting against," Shawn embraced Jack as he spoke. Shawn's firm convictions strengthened Jack. "C'mon, I'll take you back to the apartment." Together, they stood up and walked to Shawn's car.
Eric hurried down the street, not knowing where he was headed. His mind raced as he desperately thought of what to do. He felt so alone, so cut off. [I have no where to go, no one to turn to.] His pace slowed to a shuffle as his pain grew. [I'm tired of hurting! I'm tired of crying… I'm tired of … of… being tired!] After an hour of walking, he found himself at the doors of the student union. Eric opened the door and walked through it to find Angela and Topanga sitting on the couch talking. Eric turned around to walk out when he heard Angela address him. Eric stopped. Angela rose and walked over to Eric and grabbed his hand. "Come over here and talk to us for a minute, Eric," she said as she dragged him to the couch to sit.
"Look, I'm not in the mood right now to listen to you're phobic rantings…"
"We aren't going to harass you, we just wanna talk for minute, c'mon, Eric." Topanga grabbed his other hand and pulled him down onto the couch.
"We just want to make sure you've thought this through. That's all. This isn't an easy lifestyle you're choosing to live here." Angela stated.
"You're right, Angela. It would be SO much better if I just pretend that I don't feel the opposite of what you want me to." Eric rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Eric, you know you can never be with Jack." Topanga chimed in.
"…and you know that the rest of your life will be full of one-night stands and worrying about whether you're getting diseases. If you go through with this, you're going to always be miserable." Angela added. Eric stood there, feeling the panic and anxiety rising to the surface again, his eyes misting again.
"You don't have to listen to us, Eric, but let us get you some professional help, you can beat this, we have faith in you." Topanga reached for Eric's hand again. He brushed her hand away and retreated to the door.
"You both can kiss my ass!" Eric yelled as he walked out.
When Jack and Shawn arrived at the apartment, they found it empty. No messages on the answering machine either. "Where do you think he'd go?" Shawn sat down on the couch.
"He likes to go to the library when he's upset. I'll bet he's there," Jack headed for the door. Shawn jumped up and followed.
Eric stood on the corner, near the library. [It'll be over in a split second. The cars are going by so quickly, you wouldn't feel a thing.] Eric watched the traffic whiz by him, building up the courage to move. [This will fix everything… I don't wanna live like this anymore! I've had enough!] Eric closed his eyes and stood there, trying to force himself to follow through. He finally took a step towards the curb, yet he was still standing on the sidewalk. He opened his eyes. [I can do this! Anything beats the alternative!] He closed his eyes once more, tears streaming down his cheeks. He stepped out into the busy intersection, cars racing by him. Horns began to fill the air along with the sound of screeching tires and the smell of burning rubber.
In a flash, it was over. Eric's broken body was thrown onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street by a fast moving pickup. He lay there unconscious.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jack screamed. Shawn stood on the steps of the library entrance, paralyzed by what he saw. Jack ran to where Eric lay, barely able to see, his eyes filled with hot tears. "ERIIIIIIIC!"
He knelt down and took Eric into his arms, cradling him gently. Eric's eyes fluttered open for a moment, recognizing Jack. "Don't die on me, Eric. Don't you DARE leave me."
"I'm so sorry for everything…"Eric whispered weakly.
"Shut up, you didn't do anything wrong. Save your strength, so you can get better. You're gonna be alright…"
Eric gazed up into Jack's eyes and smiled. "You and I both know that's not true… I know you don't want to hear it but… I love you, Jack. I always have."
Jack sobbed as Eric spoke, sprinkling his tears on Eric's blood-smeared cheek. "That's just it. I realized that I love you too. I always have… and I'M sorry for not telling you sooner. Don't leave me here… alone, Eric. I love you." Jack leaned over and kissed Eric very tenderly. Eric's smile waned, then brightened one last time as he raised his hand to touch Jack's face. "I know… somehow I always knew. You're my soul mate, Jack Hunter. I will always love you and be with you…"
Eric's soft brown eyes slowly closed for the last time, his smile faded and his arm went limp. Weeping hysterically, Jack held him, burying his face in Eric's neck. "I love you, Eric Matthews… I'll always love you. Forever."
THE END
(Did you ever think it would?)
:-p
Hope you enjoyed it! I'm thinking of doing another E/J slash story, taking things in a different direction. I'm all about treading into fresh territory.
Jack broke into a full run when he stepped out into the brisk afternoon air. His head was so full of frustration and shock that he could think of no better outlet at the moment. He ran up the street and through the park. He stopped by an empty bench to sit down and cry with his face in his hands.
Shawn stopped by the park to think of where Jack might have gone. [He's on foot, so he couldn't have gone too far.] As he continued to think, he happened to glance over at the park bench where Jack was. Shawn jumped out of his car and jogged over to him. As he approached him, Shawn could hear his half-brother bawling quietly, alone on the bench. Shawn sat down quietly next to Jack. It took a few moments for Jack to notice that Shawn was there.
"Whadda you want?"
"Nothing. Just checkin' to see if my brother was okay," neither Shawn nor Jack had looked at each other, sitting like casual strangers striking up a casual conversation.
"I'm fine, I just…" Jack trailed off as he began to wipe his tear-stained face on his sleeve. Shawn gave him a minute to compose himself.
"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I already know what happened." Shawn looked over at Jack. He could see Jack staring at the ground.
"What's to talk about…"
"Well, you're obviously upset. More than just pissed off, from where I sit."
"You know what the most frustrating thing is? I'm not confused. I'm not the least bit confused. I know how I feel and what I want and what to do. I've never been so sure of anything in my whole life."
"Care to fill me in?" Shawn, however, was confused at this point. Jack looked over at Shawn, "Have you ever had déjà vu so bad, that it was more like something or someone was just reminding you of something you had already known, but somehow you had forgotten?" Shawn gave Jack a bewildering look.
"Forget it…" Jack looked back at the ground.
"No… no I know what you mean, but I still don't understand what you're trying to tell me." Shawn leaned back, resting his arm along the back of the bench. Jack looked up at Shawn again, "I'm in love with Eric. I always have been, since the first time we met. I just never put the right words to my feelings. I've guarded how I felt so carefully that I've never fully recognized or expressed them how I could have, or should have for that matter." Shawn sat quietly, letting Jack speak.
"My gosh, I probably broke Eric's heart. I reacted awfully to him. It was so unexpected, but it wasn't, ya know?" Shawn nodded.
"It's like, how I wasn't that weirded out by Eric telling me he was in love with me. The night that he and I talked for the first time about it, I held him as he cried and it felt right. It felt…comfortable, natural."
"So now what are you gonna do?"
"Well, first I have to apologize to Eric. How was he when you left the apartment?"
"Upset, but I told him to stay there until I found you."
"I should go back and talk to him."
"Wouldn't hurt," Shawn grinned. Jack looked up at Shawn and reciprocated.
"Thanks for everything, man. You're the best brother a guy could hope for."
"I'm just glad that this all worked out. You two will need each other considering all the people you're fighting against," Shawn embraced Jack as he spoke. Shawn's firm convictions strengthened Jack. "C'mon, I'll take you back to the apartment." Together, they stood up and walked to Shawn's car.
Eric hurried down the street, not knowing where he was headed. His mind raced as he desperately thought of what to do. He felt so alone, so cut off. [I have no where to go, no one to turn to.] His pace slowed to a shuffle as his pain grew. [I'm tired of hurting! I'm tired of crying… I'm tired of … of… being tired!] After an hour of walking, he found himself at the doors of the student union. Eric opened the door and walked through it to find Angela and Topanga sitting on the couch talking. Eric turned around to walk out when he heard Angela address him. Eric stopped. Angela rose and walked over to Eric and grabbed his hand. "Come over here and talk to us for a minute, Eric," she said as she dragged him to the couch to sit.
"Look, I'm not in the mood right now to listen to you're phobic rantings…"
"We aren't going to harass you, we just wanna talk for minute, c'mon, Eric." Topanga grabbed his other hand and pulled him down onto the couch.
"We just want to make sure you've thought this through. That's all. This isn't an easy lifestyle you're choosing to live here." Angela stated.
"You're right, Angela. It would be SO much better if I just pretend that I don't feel the opposite of what you want me to." Eric rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Eric, you know you can never be with Jack." Topanga chimed in.
"…and you know that the rest of your life will be full of one-night stands and worrying about whether you're getting diseases. If you go through with this, you're going to always be miserable." Angela added. Eric stood there, feeling the panic and anxiety rising to the surface again, his eyes misting again.
"You don't have to listen to us, Eric, but let us get you some professional help, you can beat this, we have faith in you." Topanga reached for Eric's hand again. He brushed her hand away and retreated to the door.
"You both can kiss my ass!" Eric yelled as he walked out.
When Jack and Shawn arrived at the apartment, they found it empty. No messages on the answering machine either. "Where do you think he'd go?" Shawn sat down on the couch.
"He likes to go to the library when he's upset. I'll bet he's there," Jack headed for the door. Shawn jumped up and followed.
Eric stood on the corner, near the library. [It'll be over in a split second. The cars are going by so quickly, you wouldn't feel a thing.] Eric watched the traffic whiz by him, building up the courage to move. [This will fix everything… I don't wanna live like this anymore! I've had enough!] Eric closed his eyes and stood there, trying to force himself to follow through. He finally took a step towards the curb, yet he was still standing on the sidewalk. He opened his eyes. [I can do this! Anything beats the alternative!] He closed his eyes once more, tears streaming down his cheeks. He stepped out into the busy intersection, cars racing by him. Horns began to fill the air along with the sound of screeching tires and the smell of burning rubber.
In a flash, it was over. Eric's broken body was thrown onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street by a fast moving pickup. He lay there unconscious.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jack screamed. Shawn stood on the steps of the library entrance, paralyzed by what he saw. Jack ran to where Eric lay, barely able to see, his eyes filled with hot tears. "ERIIIIIIIC!"
He knelt down and took Eric into his arms, cradling him gently. Eric's eyes fluttered open for a moment, recognizing Jack. "Don't die on me, Eric. Don't you DARE leave me."
"I'm so sorry for everything…"Eric whispered weakly.
"Shut up, you didn't do anything wrong. Save your strength, so you can get better. You're gonna be alright…"
Eric gazed up into Jack's eyes and smiled. "You and I both know that's not true… I know you don't want to hear it but… I love you, Jack. I always have."
Jack sobbed as Eric spoke, sprinkling his tears on Eric's blood-smeared cheek. "That's just it. I realized that I love you too. I always have… and I'M sorry for not telling you sooner. Don't leave me here… alone, Eric. I love you." Jack leaned over and kissed Eric very tenderly. Eric's smile waned, then brightened one last time as he raised his hand to touch Jack's face. "I know… somehow I always knew. You're my soul mate, Jack Hunter. I will always love you and be with you…"
Eric's soft brown eyes slowly closed for the last time, his smile faded and his arm went limp. Weeping hysterically, Jack held him, burying his face in Eric's neck. "I love you, Eric Matthews… I'll always love you. Forever."
THE END
(Did you ever think it would?)
:-p
Hope you enjoyed it! I'm thinking of doing another E/J slash story, taking things in a different direction. I'm all about treading into fresh territory.