Tokiya
Tokiya,
I've seen your sister a couple of times now. I know everything about her, actually, just like I know everything about you. Don't ask me how. I suppose that would pretty much tell you how nosy I am, huh? So anyway, I had been walking down the street towards the university not too long ago when I had heard someone singing melodiously somewhere near the old abandoned warehouse. Obviously, I followed wherever it was coming from just like anyone else would if they'd heard such a lovely melody. I have to admit, she sure sings well. And true enough, it led me behind that old, barricaded shack everyone kept saying was the hideout of something ridiculously stupid. Some rumor, huh? I never really believed it. Anyway, there was this spacious kind of bodega hidden behind some old trees, and as weird as it could've been, the song was coming from in there. I tried to come closer so I could step inside, but then all of a sudden some guy came and I was made to hide for a while. The guy went inside and the song stopped. Curious, I tried to clear away the disgustingly huge amount of dirt on the almost broken windows, and I could make out a silhouette of a woman in a few chains at the far end of the wall. The guy gave her something to eat and left. When she moved into the light a bit to try and reach her food, I saw her face. It was your sister. As much as I had wanted to get her out of the stinking place, I knew I couldn't. At that time, I hadn't known it was your sister, so who knew if I was interfering with something if I came and rescued her? So all I could do was stop by for a while every other day to at least check if she was still okay. And according to my observations, that food guy comes every noon and at around 9:00 pm only. She must be awfully thin by now…
Well, I suggest you go over there tonight. Midnight perhaps, just to make sure that guy doesn't show up.
That's really all, Tokiya dear. Sorry if I'd kept all this from you for too long. Good luck.
Akira
I frowned, staring at the letter on my hand. That, was the lamest, weirdest, most ridiculous and most unreasonable story I had ever heard.
Who would be keeping my sister? We never had anyone but each other.
Could it have been Meguri-sama?
But that was absurd; why would he be keeping her alive if he had wanted her dead in the first place? Besides, Meguri wasn't living anywhere near this town. At least, that's what I had known.
So then, who would've--
The ring of the phone made me snap out of my thoughts and jerk a little backwards. I stared at it irritably. But then…
Was it Hinageshi, calling to tell me something a little more convincing?
I tossed the letter on the bedside table and grabbed the receiver. "Yeah?"
"Mikagami…? It's me, Recca..."
My eyes widened and my heart practically died at his next words. All at once I dropped the receiver and hurried out the door, Hanabishi's words still lingering in my thoughts.
'Fuuko's at the hospital.'
***
I placed my hands behind my head, leaning back on my chair and staring at the dark clouds outside the hospital window. I glanced up at the wall clock. 11:45.
My eyes flicked towards the corner of the room, where Hanabishi was dozing off with a sleeping Yanagi cuddled beside him on another chair. Recca was snoring practically loud enough to wake the dead. It was surprising that Yanagi-san could even sleep.
I snorted. Stupid idiot.
Yet still…it was he who had run after Fuuko after the incident at the café. According to his narration a while back, it was he who had come in at the bar just in time. It was he who had saved Fuuko from being harassed. It was he who had helped her put her clothes back on, and who had brought her to the hospital. And it was he who had informed me about it.
All in all, I supposed he wasn't too bad, after all.
I looked back down at Fuuko on the bed beside my chair. She was still unconscious, and there was a slight streak of a pinkish blush on her face. She really must have drunk too much alcohol. Too bad Yanagi couldn't do anything about it, considering she could only heal wounds, not unconsciousness.
I swore silently, blaming my own insensitivity. If I hadn't burst out on Fuuko at the café…she wouldn't have…
Kuso...
I looked back at her, admiring the beauty of her face even if she was asleep. I never really wanted her to go find someone else; she meant everything to me and she was all that I had now. I couldn't live knowing she was with another and that I'd blown my chances with her. I knew I couldn't bear to see that.
And it took me too long and too late to realize that she had felt the same way. I shouldn't have been following Akira for information too much. Too bad I had been blind enough not to realize that she might've been jealous. Too bad I'd already hurt her feelings by the time I saw what was happening.
I sighed. Fuuko…
There was another flash of lightning, followed by a roaring roll of thunder. The weather was obviously getting even worse than it had been before I had gotten here a few hours ago. But despite the racket the storm was making, the clock made a small chime that caught my attention.
12:00.
It was time for me to go.
I pulled up the covers that Fuuko had unintentionally removed in her sleep towards her, and took the towel on her forehead, dipped it in the basin, squeezed some of the water out, and placed it back on her forehead. I rubbed her cheek gently, feeling terrible that I had to leave her alone and that she'd wake up thinking I had never come to see her.
I sighed again. At least, this way, she wouldn't be able to follow me to where oneechan was.
I bent down and kissed her head lightly, hoping impossibly that she was aware of it.
Aishiteru, Fuuko, I glanced sadly down at her.
If only you knew that…
Fuuko
I woke up with a start, jerking up in bed, a wet towel falling down from my forehead. My fingers flew to my cheek, as I searched around the room.
My heart dropped, seeing that the only people here were Hanabishi and Yanagi. I could've sworn Mi-chan was here...I looked at the door disappointedly, but I guess it was only a dream...
I sighed and glanced at the clock. 12:05.
Tokiya didn't even bother to come. He didn't even bother to see if I was alright. He didn't even bother. He didn't even care.
I wrapped my arms around my knees, hugging them closer to my chest. I felt shaken and hurt even more.
But my body was feeling a little better, although my head was still spinning a bit. I would prove to him that I had managed to recover only with the help of Hanabishi and Yanagi. And without his. This was my only way of somehow keeping my pride.
No matter how much it got to me that he didn't even show up.
My eyes began to well up, and I shook the tears away. I didn't want to shed tears for him anymore. I forced myself to just look out the window and try to forget everything.
But it made me remember him even more.
Because he was right there, walking down the sidewalk, out in the rain.
My eyes widened. All the pain and the anger washed away from me. Right now all I could think of was: he could get sick out in the rain like that!
I immediately jumped out of bed, said a silent 'I'll be right back' to Hanabishi and Yanagi, dashed out the room, down the elevator (ignoring the nurse who was insisting that I go right back to my bed), grabbed one of the umbrellas on the umbrella rack by the entrance and out the hospital doors. I caught sight of him just before he was able to round on the corner.
"Mi-chan!" I called, catching up with him. He didn't even stop.
I ran towards him and slowed down when he was at least a foot away. He still hadn't turned around and was still walking, his head down and his hands in his pockets.
"Mi-chan...?"
All of a sudden he spoke up.
"Go back, Fuuko."
"I can't go back if you're out here! What are you doing out in the rain, anyway?" I asked.
"Go back inside. Don't get me worried."
I stared at his back, frowning. "If you're worried, I am too, okay? So let's--"
"Don't argue with me, Fuuko. There's some place I have to go to. Go back. Now."
I stopped walking and stared at him. "Some place...you have to...go...?" I frowned, a lump forming at my throat. This couldn't have had anything to do with Akira, had it...? "Some place...that's more...important... than visiting me to see if I was okay...?"
He stopped walking.
Akira, Akira, Akira...why was it always her...? "At this hour of the night...at this weather...there's another place you'd rather go to than visit me...?" I managed to say, as my chest began to tighten.
He was still looking down, his back to me.
"And...to...to think that I was worrying about you...wanting you to come back inside with me..." I began to sob, slowly walking towards him one step at a time.
"To think...I wished like crazy that you would come see me...only...only to wake up and...and find you not there..." I cried, finding it hard to breathe as I stopped walking right behind him.
"But I guess...visiting me...never even...crossed...your mind..." my voice trailed off, and the tears I'd been holding back finally poured out. The next thing I knew I was sobbing like crazy.
"I just don't understand…I tried to forget…I tried so hard to forget, but I just…" I paused. "What's...what's wrong, Tokiya...? What happened...? After all this time we've been together…didn't we use to enjoy it…? Everything always went well…so…what could've gone wrong…?" I stepped closer still and leaned my head against his back, sobbing. "Please tell me, Tokiya…" I whispered. "Please…I want everything to go back the way they used to be…"
Slowly, he turned around and lifted my chin to face him. I watched as he bent down and kissed me, making me sob even harder.
I dropped the umbrella, and the rain started to pour on my face, mixing with my tears. I was still crying, although I tried to close my eyes. I could feel his hands slowly moving up to cup my cheeks, as he pulled me closer to him. He was kissing me. He was kissing me again like he used to. It was what I had been waiting for all this time...but somehow...it couldn't take the pain away. Not anymore.
He stopped and opened his eyes. His face was still close to mine; I could feel his breath on my face. His hand was still on my cheek, and I was still crying. It was still there. The hurt was still there. And I couldn't bear it.
"I love you, Fuuko," he whispered, looking straight into my eyes. It only made me cry even more.
"You...love me...? How can you say that you do...when you don't even care about my condition...? You can't even try to understand how I've always felt..." I cried.
"I'm sorry…" he went on. I couldn't help but notice that he was looking at me in a different way. I gazed into his eyes, and saw that the usual glint of indifference wasn't there at all. His eyes were a pool of sadness…deeper sadness that can never be changed…or released…for as long as the nightmare of his past was haunting him…scarring his inner soul. He was also speaking in a different tone; so calm yet perishing in agony, so gentle yet aching, as if his voice was reflecting every tragedy he had witnessed in his childhood.
"…" I kept my gaze, ignoring the tears and the rainwater that was flooding my eyes.
"Fuuko…I'm sorry…" he repeated in a low and gentle voice, "But after everything that's been bothering me…after every nightmare I desperately tried to forget…just for you…everything about my sister…" he trailed off. "I just can't tuck it all away. It always came back to haunt me again…I did everything I could to concentrate my life in protecting you…being by your side and making you happy…because you're all that I have, Fuuko…but…" he hesitated. "You have to understand…it's hard to put things back the way they were…"
Tokiya…"I know I haven't been the best guy a girl could ever have," he continued, looking at me seriously with those turquoise orbs I had never before been able to resist. "So I'm asking you…please forget about me."
I looked away from him. After all the pain he'd caused me...was letting him go worth the price of never getting hurt again...? No... I still couldn't bear to live without him...seeing him leave would only cause me even more pain...
No...
I couldn't let him go...
"Please, Fuuko. I can't be the right guy for you because you deserve someone better. Someone who would always be there for you whenever you need him. Someone who has more time for you. Someone who doesn't have a past to get in the way. And I know I can't be that person because I can't live up to those expectations."
No...please...please don't break up with me...
"So I'm just wishing you the best in your life." He gave me one, last smile.
"Sayonara, Fuuko-chan."
No...
And with this, he removed his warm hand from my cheek and began to walk away, without saying any more.
I wanted to run after him...reach out and take him back...make him smile at me again...call out his name...tell him that I loved him more than anything in this world...
But I couldn't...
I just couldn't...
Tokiya...
The tears had stopped falling, and I had stopped sobbing. The pain was gone. My life was gone.
I stood there on the sidewalk, drenched, as I watched him walk away from me.
Out of my sight...
Out of my life.
He was gone.