Ok this is a first for me. None of the characters expressed are mine and
were actually pirated from the true author! Now without further ado I bring
to you.. *drops dead*
*Curtains up* CHAPTER ONE!!!!!!
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away otherwise known as Europe, there was a boy. This boy was named Harry Potter and he had a few issues in his young life even though he was only 15 years old. He attended a school called Hogwarts where he was learning of his true heritage of wizardry.
Enough of that here's the real deal. Harry was a real bad and nasty kid. His thoughts were perverted and he seemed to have a knack for corrupting all his friends. Someone could say something like yellow banana and he would break out laughing. Harry had several good friends. One was Hermione Granger. She was an ex-heroin addict who just stopped using. Another was Ron who had a thing for wizard weed. (The same as normal weed just magical. More magical that is.) A third was named Millie. Everyone called her Mill for short. She had a yellow banana fetish. She just loved yellow bananas.
Even though it was only one week into the first semester at Hogwarts school, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Millie were already getting into trouble. They had a weekend free to visit Hogsmeade and Harry spent it shopping the black market (yes the wizard black market) for items of "interest" (porn, guns, and drugs) As you can tell he isn't exactly an angel. When he ran into Millie in the middle of town on his way back she was looking into a erro...exotic fruit store. Harry started to talk to her about his very interesting summer break:
"So the Dursleys left me home this summer, right, so I took the opportunity to get drunk and VEVERMIIND! I mean I was so wasted with Hermione that odd things started to VEVERMIIND! And while she was freshening up I was busy drilling though the bathroom wall with what little coordination I had left. When I finally managed to drill though the shower I got hit in the face with a yellow VEVERMIIND! Even though she was wasted beyond belief she managed to cast an "impotence" spell on me. She's a good bitch errrr witch even when she gets drunk so needless to say with that spell on me I didn't get VEVERMIIND!" "That's lovely", she responded dryly. "Now if I had emotions I would care about your pitiful humanly not getting anything and not beating Ron (8 days man 8 days) at his own game!"
Harry fell over, stunned. "You.You...You...grrrrrrrrr..."
"Yes I however had a wonderful time learning the full uses of YELLOW BANANAS on my break. It was lovely. I also got this new Muggle thing called AIM. People with screen names like Light Cat Sender kept saying they were me!"
"That's very nice", Harry said as he started to follow the first hot fully clothed in robes girl he could find.
Ha that's it!!!!!! OR is it????? Yes till I get bored again!
*Curtains up* CHAPTER ONE!!!!!!
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away otherwise known as Europe, there was a boy. This boy was named Harry Potter and he had a few issues in his young life even though he was only 15 years old. He attended a school called Hogwarts where he was learning of his true heritage of wizardry.
Enough of that here's the real deal. Harry was a real bad and nasty kid. His thoughts were perverted and he seemed to have a knack for corrupting all his friends. Someone could say something like yellow banana and he would break out laughing. Harry had several good friends. One was Hermione Granger. She was an ex-heroin addict who just stopped using. Another was Ron who had a thing for wizard weed. (The same as normal weed just magical. More magical that is.) A third was named Millie. Everyone called her Mill for short. She had a yellow banana fetish. She just loved yellow bananas.
Even though it was only one week into the first semester at Hogwarts school, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Millie were already getting into trouble. They had a weekend free to visit Hogsmeade and Harry spent it shopping the black market (yes the wizard black market) for items of "interest" (porn, guns, and drugs) As you can tell he isn't exactly an angel. When he ran into Millie in the middle of town on his way back she was looking into a erro...exotic fruit store. Harry started to talk to her about his very interesting summer break:
"So the Dursleys left me home this summer, right, so I took the opportunity to get drunk and VEVERMIIND! I mean I was so wasted with Hermione that odd things started to VEVERMIIND! And while she was freshening up I was busy drilling though the bathroom wall with what little coordination I had left. When I finally managed to drill though the shower I got hit in the face with a yellow VEVERMIIND! Even though she was wasted beyond belief she managed to cast an "impotence" spell on me. She's a good bitch errrr witch even when she gets drunk so needless to say with that spell on me I didn't get VEVERMIIND!" "That's lovely", she responded dryly. "Now if I had emotions I would care about your pitiful humanly not getting anything and not beating Ron (8 days man 8 days) at his own game!"
Harry fell over, stunned. "You.You...You...grrrrrrrrr..."
"Yes I however had a wonderful time learning the full uses of YELLOW BANANAS on my break. It was lovely. I also got this new Muggle thing called AIM. People with screen names like Light Cat Sender kept saying they were me!"
"That's very nice", Harry said as he started to follow the first hot fully clothed in robes girl he could find.
Ha that's it!!!!!! OR is it????? Yes till I get bored again!