PART SIX

For old times' sake

Fuuko took another gulp from the large bottle of sake that she had found in her room from room service and continued walking. It had been two and a half hours since Yanagi left to see Hanabishi, and Fuuko was starting to worry. But she didn't really want to head over to Recca's room; she didn't really want a bunch of rowdy guys ruining her night. So in order to get her mind off Yanagi's whereabouts, she had decided to head down to the lobby. She could've sworn she heard the receptionist say that there was a swimming pool in the grounds somewhere when they registered yesterday.

She caught sight of a pair of sliding glass doors near the end of the lobby hall, through which she could see a sort-of garden. Perhaps the pool was somewhere near it. She headed for the sliding glass doors, staggering slightly because of all the sake she had drunk, shivering because of the night breeze that was blowing past her open robes, under which she was only wearing her underwear. After all, she was out for a little swim, wasn't she? It was only proper that she should wear something appropriate for the activity. And besides, at this hour of the night, who was supposed to see her wearing her underwear?

Fuuko slid open the glass doors and stepped on the cool grass under the moonlight. She took a deep breath to savor the night's cool breeze, and took a moment to admire the flowering beauty of the garden.

The garden was surrounded by thick walls of green plants, flowering vines entwining themselves to the walls. Aerial plants hung elegantly from the branches of a few trees near the plant-walls of the circular garden, and skillfully shaped bushes lined a small stone path leading to the center of the garden, where a dolphin-shaped marble fountain was pouring crystal-clear water from its mouth, flowing down to a small fish pond surrounding it. Outside the stone path on the well-trimmed grass were flowers of every color and kind, each kind beautifully illuminating the ground. To the right was an entrance through the plant-walls, with an arch over the entrance that was filled with ornamental flowers as well. Through the entrance was another stone path, leading to a curve farther through which Fuuko could no longer see from where she was standing. It was probably the path to the pool.

She walked through the entrance to the right and followed the stone path, lighted by glass lanterns on the sides of it. After a short walk, she reached the pool area, which was a more private and a much wider opening than the garden a way back. Rows of bushes filled with flowers lined the four sides of the wide pool area, with elegant park benches on every side. The large oval pool lay in the middle, its clear blue water reflecting the moon's bright rays. A diving board was placed on one of its sides, and tanning benches were placed on the sides as well, with large beach umbrellas planted on the ground beside them. To the far left of the pool area were the shower rooms, and to the right was a big wooden room, which Fuuko guessed was where the hot Jacuzzi was.

She grinned as her eyes scanned the sight before her, from the beautiful flowers on the bushes, to the small tables near the Jacuzzi room, to the towel rack near the shower rooms, to the shadow of a man on the wall beside her, to the—

Fuuko did a double take and, after a second of shock, cried out in fear.

But the man didn't even move, didn't even react to her scream. In fact, the man stayed as clam as ever, leaning against the wall beside her, arms crossed and one foot up against the wall.

And as a cloud shifted and the moonlight shed light on the man's shadowed face, Fuuko felt herself relax.

"Oh god, Mi-chan, I thought you were—" But she stopped short, the thought that she was no longer talking to the old Mikagami making its way into her quickly blurring sake-infested mind.

Lucky to still be in her right senses, she slowly walked over to him, and leaned against the wall beside him. She took another gulp from her bottle and then raised her head to look up at the wonderfully moonlit sky. Submitting herself to the silence only broken by the sound of the crickets, Fuuko took in the serenity of the twinkling stars and the thin sheets of clouds drifting across the dark blue sky, every now and then concealing some parts of the bright full moon.

But still, she found that this couldn't last long. It was only a matter of time before she found herself racking her brain for something, anything to say to him; she was starting to get anxious of him standing there right beside her. She couldn't stand the awkward moment, for they never had such before when they were still together, yet she was afraid to utter a word, for fear of getting hurt again. He might snap back another sharp statement and she'd break down all over again.

But it was him who spoke first. "There's a spider crawling its way towards you."

Fuuko's eyes widened and she immediately jumped from the wall, blowing away the spider on the wall on her other side with great apprehension. For some reason, she was terribly disgusted at them. Then, after making sure that there were no more of them scuttling anywhere near her, she leaned back against the wall. She then bit back a small smile. Obviously Tokiya had remembered that she hated spiders, and was concerned enough to inform her of an incoming one. This gave her the courage to speak, though still cautious of her words.

"Ne, Mi-chan…do you…come here often…?" She held her breath and waited for his reply. Then, after about a minute, he muttered, "Occasionally."

"So desu ka…" Fuuko looked back up at the sky and tried to think of something else to say, but she couldn't' seem to find a topic, so she just said the first thing that popped into her mind. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She felt Tokiya hold back a sigh as he replied curtly, "Yeah."

Fuuko felt a wave of relief wash over her as she continued to gaze at the night sky. For once, she felt a little more comfortable. She took another drink, and felt a small tinge of drowsiness hit her. She ignored it, though; she was thoroughly used to it. She relaxed a bit and released some of her tension. At least Tokiya was now talking to her.

Minutes passed again, as neither of them uttered another word. Fuuko let the breeze sweep past her, shivering slightly, blinking blissfully at the sky. She couldn't help but give a small sigh. This time, she didn't mind the silence.

"Your hair."

Fuuko blinked in surprise at the sudden remark. Had she heard right? She slowly turned to look at Tokiya, and saw that he was now looking down at her with the impassive expression on his face that she knew so well.

"Y-yes…?" she stuttered.

"It's long."

"Oh," Fuuko immediately ran a nervous hand though a side of her long, purple hair and tugged on some strands. "I-it's just that I was, um, busy, you know, and I never really had the time to have them cut and I, well, I was really planning to cut them right after I graduated, and—"

"I like it," Tokiya said plainly, cutting her off completely. Then he turned to face the sky again.

Fuuko instantly felt a genuine smile creep up her lips. He liked it. He liked her hair. It was a compliment. He had just given her a compliment!

She grinned and felt even more relaxed now. "So…why are you out here, anyway?" She asked as she chugged down some more of her sake. Another wave of drowsiness shot through her. She hardly even noticed, though, but she was starting to feel a little different.

"Probably the same reason you are."

"Honto ni?" She grinned and pushed herself from the wall she was leaning against, suddenly feeling daring, and stood in front of Tokiya. "Let's go, then!" And she started to slip off her robes.

Tokiya tried to hide his look as he felt the blood rush to his face. He tried immensely to look away, but somehow, he couldn't. His eyes were somehow stuck to looking at her, as she slid her robes off her shoulders. He looked at her body in horror as he realized that she was wearing only her underwear, and found it even more horrific that he was being so severely tempted to keep on staring at her, his eyes moving down…

Damn, he finally focused his look at the clouds, his face burning. What the heck was Fuuko doing, stripping in front of him like that?

But apparently, Fuuko wasn't stripping. Tokiya felt her grab his arm and pull him away from the wall, and he looked at her again only to see the usual look of mischief on her face.

He was dragged near the edge of the swimming pool, his back to it. Fuuko stood in front of him again, and he cocked an irritated eyebrow at her. Then Fuuko's face broke into a mischievous grin and he felt her playful hands pushed his chest, and soon, he was falling backwards into the pool with a splash. 

Fuuko giggled and placed her bottle of sake near the edge of the pool, as she dove into it herself. She swam a few feet away towards the center of the pool, and then raised her head towards the surface for some air. She bobbed her head and looked around, spotting Tokiya, who had now also risen from underwater. And he did not look pleased. Then again, he always didn't look pleased.

"I wasn't talking about a swim," he muttered with a scowl.

Fuuko giggled again. "Well, you did say that you were out here with the same reason I was!"

Tokiya frowned again. "Don't forget that I said 'probably'," he remarked, and started to make his way towards the edge of the pool. He raised himself up from the water without using the steps, and Fuuko found herself staring at the way his biceps contracted on his arms.

She immediately shook her head and swam towards the edge of the pool as well, where Tokiya had now flopped down on the grass.

"Okay, okay, you win," she remarked. "You should have just told me your reason; then I wouldn't have pushed you in the—" she stopped short and her eyes widened. Tokiya had just removed his shirt and was now squeezing the water from it, trying to dry it off. Fuuko felt herself go red, watching his body as he squeezed the life out of his shirt. Then, as the shirt still was as damp as ever, he sighed and tossed it aside on the ground.

Fuuko brushed away all the thoughts about him that were forming in her head and climbed out of the pool, too, retrieving her bottle of sake and dropping down next to him. Tokiya raised his knee and rested his elbow on it, staring out into the pool, as the ripples that Fuuko had made spread out over the surface.

Fuuko chugged down some more sake, and didn't seem to notice the blush that had stained her face. She blinked away her drowsiness, and said, "So how's China so far?"

"Chinese," he replied, still staring at the water, the color of blue reflecting his eyes.

"Heh," she chuckled. "Obviously, you've seen the Great Wall. What's it look like?"

"A wall."

Fuuko giggled again, this time uncontrollably. "Of course it is!" She drank some more. "You know, things were never as great in Japan. Always the same, boring activities, and the university is still as old and rotting as ever."

Tokiya blinked. Surely the university had been standing for a long time, but it was never rotting, and the school had always been making renovations to make it look better. In fact, when he had left it, it was looking more stunning than ever. Fuuko had always told him before how much she was impressed at how the school managed to turn itself into a new one.

"And my remarks were still bombing. I failed almost every subject. Come to think of it, I never would have graduated had my father not talked the Dean into it. The Dean always thought I was doing extremely well last year, and he couldn't get it into his little head just why I was bombing this year. So he passed me pathetically! I would've been willing to stay, you know. No, wait, I don't. Can't stand that decomposing school," she chortled and chugged more sake.

Tokiya's eyebrows raised and he slowly turned to look at Fuuko. There was something very wrong with the way she was talking.

"Well, the reason was pretty simple. I mean, with all the assignments they were giving, who would get the sudden determination to do them? So basically, I never did. Just went home and went straight to bed. Of course, TV's a different story," she went on.

Why the heck is she babbling all of a sudden? He stared at Fuuko intently. A pink blush was streaking across her face, and her eyelids were drooping. She was looking absently into the pool, waving around a large bottle of sake as she spoke. Funny, Tokiya didn't notice her drinking the sake a while back. But now it was clearly evident that she'd been drinking out of the large bottle for a while now, because only a quarter of the sake was left.

Fuuko drank again, and couldn't resist shaking her head a bit. "Yanagi-chan was pretty concerned. She went over to my house almost every night to check up on me. Of course, she wasn't able to see much. I was locked up in my room practically all day. She still tried to barge in, though, and one time she got lucky and caught the door unlocked. She was shocked to see me not doing my assignments and crying instead."

His eyes widened. For the first time tonight, he felt a tinge of alarm. "Crying?"

"Yeah," Fuuko grinned sloppily. "Almost every night. Actually, most of time it's staring into space doing nothing while tears keep rolling down. Most nights, Yanagi-chan couldn't snap me to my senses," she chuckled. "I was disturbed the whole year," she drank again and shivered as a breeze swept by. "Getting damn cold here," she remarked, and tried to stand up to reach for her robe, but failed miserably. Her knees gave way and Tokiya, by instinct, stood up to catch her by her shoulders. He fell sitting down due to her weight.

Fuuko was now leaning against him as he held on to her shoulders, his brows furrowing. Fuuko was obviously drunk. She was going pink and he could tell by the look on her face that her sight wasn't very clear, and by the way she was speaking he could tell that her mind wasn't working too well, either. He could even smell the sake from her mouth. Yet still, she wouldn't let go of the now almost empty bottle.

Fuuko chuckled distantly again and slowly shifted to face him. Her eyelids were drooping and her eyes had a faraway look in them. "You know why I was crying every night…?" Her lips slowly curved into a playful smile. "It's because of you…" she trailed off and her hand slowly reached out to touch his cheek.

Tokiya's eyes widened at her sudden touch. Fuuko was rubbing her hand gently on his cheek, and he couldn't help but blush. He swallowed as Fuuko leaned closer, touching her skin against his. He began to feel hot. He certainly thought the look in her eyes and the way she smiled was sexy. Really sexy. And the way her almost bare skin was touching his…Tokiya began to lean back, trying to get away, but she was leaning closer still, and he was almost on his back against the ground…Then Fuuko's hand left his face and started moving down his neck, then on his shoulder, and on his chest, feeling his body…Tokiya felt all the blood rush to his face as she traced the muscles on his abs, and then her hand began to move lower down…

That was it. With a slight shake of his head, Tokiya grabbed her wrist before it got past his torso. He gently pushed her away from him and pried the bottle of sake out of her other hand.

"It's getting late. You should go to bed." He snatched the bottle away from her reach before she had the chance to take it again.

"Mi-chan…" Fuuko groaned quietly and dropped onto the grass. The steady rise and fall of her chest and her sudden cease of movement told Tokiya that she'd fallen straight off to unconsciousness.

He sighed and first put the bottle away, then he grabbed his still damp shirt and slung it over his shoulder. He stood up and walked over to where Fuuko had left her bathrobe, and he gently draped it over her half-naked body. He knelt down beside her and carried her in his arms, one under her legs and the other around her shoulders. He cradled her head with the crook of his elbow and he started off out of the pool area, out of the garden, into the lobby, up the elevator. It looked like he was going to have to bring Fuuko to her room himself.

It was a good thing Fuuko and Yanagi's room was right across from his, that way he knew exactly where to go. As he approached her room, a sudden dread rose in him. What if Yanagi-san was inside their room, waiting for Fuuko? What would she say when she saw Fuuko like this, drunk, in her underwear, with him?

He tried to shudder away the thought. He'd just have to explain everything that happened: that Fuuko had been drunk and fell asleep when they coincidentally met out in the pool area.

But to his luck, as he pushed open the door that Fuuko hadn't locked, Yanagi was nowhere to be found. He walked over to her bed and sat on the edge of it to carefully lay Fuuko down, and the robe he'd draped on her and the shirt on his shoulder fell down on the floor. Just as he removed his arm from under her head, Fuuko stirred and heavily opened her eyes. Upon seeing him she draped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, and he stumbled onto the bed with the force of her pull. Fuuko smiled seductively as she crawled closer to him, until she was so close that her breasts pressed against Tokiya's chest.

Tokiya froze in his place. This wasn't right. He never intended this to happen, and he certainly didn't want it to. Not just yet. But he couldn't move. He was stuck, and no matter how much he tried to get away, his body didn't seem to want to.

Fuuko moved dangerously closer. "Tokiya…" she moaned, tracing the outline of his lips. She looked naughtily at him. "Aishiteru…" she whispered in a very sexy voice.

It was too hot. He couldn't breathe. And as he looked down at Fuuko's tantalizing eyes to her tempting lips, he felt he could've melted in the spot. It suddenly came back to him that Fuuko was not wearing anything but her underwear, and that her divinely smooth skin was grazing his bare chest…

Fuuko's eyes shifted from his face down to his lips, which she was still tracing. She licked her own lips hungrily, and she lifted her face to slowly get what she wanted…

Tokiya watched as her face moved closer and closer…and he looked down at her perfect cherry lips, slowly making their way to his. And still he didn't move away. He felt Fuuko's other hand slowly moving down his chest again, and his heart began to beat faster.  Damn it…he cursed, feeling Fuuko's leg move demandingly on top of his. He shut his eyes and dreadfully waited for her kiss, but to his relief, it never came. Fuuko's head dropped down, resting on his chest. She had stopped moving again. It had seemed that the effects of the sake had finally gotten to her for good.

Tokiya sighed in relief and moved a little farther from her, but he couldn't move away because she was lying on his chest and on one of his arms. He blinked down at her and shook his head. Fuuko was too seductive. And it wasn't right. He didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

But then again, she was drunk. And obviously, she wasn't her usual self. She'd probably wake up in a hangover the next morning and forget everything that happened.

And that's exactly what you should do, he told himself. Forget everything that happened.

But, hadn't he enjoyed the way Fuuko was seducing him tonight even just for a little bit? Wasn't he keen on not moving away whenever she came close? Didn't his body want the warm contact she was making as well? Wasn't he solely tempted to her lips, and attracted to her body?

He looked at her body again, and felt himself blush. He'd found out that he wasn't in love anymore, but surely he was still as attracted as ever to her physical features.

But that was it. Attraction. Nothing more than attraction. He couldn't love her; he never deserved such a beautiful creation. He wasn't fit to love, and he wasn't allowed to.

She was wrong. It wasn't right for her to tell him 'aishiteru' just like that. For he knew that she didn't love him. She was probably just confused. Infatuation was all there was to it. She could never love him; how could anyone love him? How could anyone love someone who had wasted his life on revenge, on bitterness, on hostility, on hatred, and on pain? It would surely be torture for anyone to be ready and willing enough to embrace the fact of sharing that person's pain. No one would want to do that…surely, no one would…

*FLASH*

"I know I won't be able to change things back to the way they were, but neither can you. So please, Mi-chan, tell me how you feel. At least you'll have someone to talk to."

"I'm a mixture of helplessness, fear, and uncertainty. No one would want to share that feeling, Fuuko. You wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

"Mi-chan…Mi-chan, wait. You have to tell me! I can't stand seeing you so…so alone---"

"Why should I? When all that will come out of it is more pain? Someone would have to suffer with me. Is that any better than it is now?"

"I want to share it! I want to, damn it! Your own self is slipping away and you don't even know it! You're keeping it all to yourself and it's driving you insane!!! Why don't you tell me, you idiot, and save the stupid trouble?!?

*FLASH*

Save the trouble…yes…sharing his pain would definitely save him the trouble of brooding about his ruined life. And he had listened to her advice once. He had conceded. But in the end nothing good ever turned out. It was too much for him to take. He was destined to live the life he had chosen. As a loner.

They were never meant for each other. He was never meant for anyone.

Except…

It immediately rushed through his mind how his sister always ran to hug him whenever he would come home with bruises from a fight…how she would kiss his forehead and tell him it wasn't his fault…how she would tickle him to stop him from crying…and gently kiss his tears away…just a smile…and it would all be gone…

Yes, that was care…that was love…the only love that he ever really had, and felt…and it was all taken away from him too soon…in just a glance, just a swish, just a cry…it was all gone…all taken away from him…all gone…

Tokiya held back a sigh, just like he had been holding back everything that he had been feeling ever since her loss. It wasn't easy, but holding everything back definitely made it easier for him to live his life. He'd grown used to it, and used to the silence that was often around him. Used to the animosity of his world. Used to the darkness of being alone.

Yet somehow…for the past few years…he realized. He wasn't alone. He had comrades, teammates. He had adversaries, and he had rivals. He had his own group of people who, even though just a little, cared for him. And it might have taken him a long time to realize that. Hadn't his friends been there for him during his graduation? During his birthdays? During his battles? During his flight?

Yes, and perhaps Fuuko was just the same. She may not have been there on his graduation, or on his departure, but just by being herself she had given him a big part of his life.

And for once, he was satisfied, to have her as his friend.