TITLE: Running CHAPTER 13 of many chapters
AUTHOR: Daaasl
RATING: R for violence and sex
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Dominic, Leon, Vincent, Mia, Brian,
Jessie and Letty belong the film company. All the other characters
are mine all mine, though. Any copyright infringement is unintended.
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know.
FEEDBACK: Please. I like to know what you think. But be gentle
with me.
Sara's POV
I rolled over in the morning to see Leon sleeping, still in his clothes, right at my side. A wave of relief washed over me. Thank God, I didn't completely ruin everything. I touched my wounds and surprisingly they didn't hurt as bad as I thought they would. The events of last night replayed in my head, and I couldn't help but groan first. And then I smiled. Leon had been the first person in my life ever, to jump in when I was being hurt. Well -- there was Rayna, but that was a whole other story.
It had been 3 weeks since I'd known Leon, and his patience with me was constant and steady. After all the bullshit I'd been through, it looked like I'd finally found someone that was willing to take his time with me. That meant more to me then anything. Here I was, in his bed, in his clothes, wondering about how I was going tell him about my past. It seemed only fair to clue him in. At least on some of it. Leon had already seen the scar on my neck. I was sure he'd figured some of it out on his own. Leon was not a stupid man. But I thought that it was only fair that I clue him in. He deserved the truth about me -- at least some of the truth. I ran my fingers lightly up and down his arm. I loved the way his skin felt, so hard and smooth at the same time, it was hard to explain, but I couldn't get enough. I ran my fingers up his arm across his neck, up his chin and around his jaw line, taking in his sleeping form...until he opened his eyes. I didn't stop, I just looked at him, and continued to trace my fingers over his face. He smiled and stared into my eyes.
"Morning beautiful." his raspy voice murmured to me. A faint smile crept over my face.
"Hey." I managed to whisper. I hadn't realized how upset my thought had made me until I heard my voice crack. Leon looked at me with slight confusion in his eyes.
"That shiner's not as bad as I thought it would be." he said.
I felt his fingers gently caress my face. Instinctively my eyes closed and I leaned into his touch for the first time. It felt so good.
"I think I'm ready now." The words slipped from my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.
"Ready for what?" he asked.
"To tell you about me. To tell you about my past."
His eyes dropped and a look of regret washed over him. Why was he feeling bad about this?
"Are you sure? Sarah you don't owe me-"
"I want to tell you. You've been so patient with me Leon. I feel as though I owe you an explanation about my behavior. Maybe you'll understand why I have sent you so many mixed signals, after you have heard me out."
I felt ashamed suddenly. I had never been the kind of person to lead anyone on, but since I had run from Anthony I had been so confused about what I wanted, that I had been throwing curve balls without realizing it. I laid back down on my side of the bed, and shook my head, reprimanding myself for the way I had been treating Leon. He propped himself up on his elbow and turned to face me.
"Your signals have been O.K. I can cope." he smiled, trying to catch my gaze. Still, I could tell by his tone that he felt almost as uncomfortable as I did at that moment. Panic and fear were building inside me, but I was determined to tell Leon. I took a deep, ragged breath and began.
"Anthony was my fiancée'. We were together off and on for about 4 years. At first things were ok. I mean, he was never one for romance. that just wasn't Anthony's style. But he took good care of me, bought me anything I wanted, and protected me from anyone who even looked at me wrong. I should have seen the warning signs in his over-protectiveness, and jealousy, but I was blinded by my love. I didn't understand it wasn't healthy or right until it was too late."
By this time, Leon was laying on his back, and I moved over to his side and rested my head on his chest. I took another deep breath, and tried to build up my courage, and then I felt him hands run through my hair.
"Hey, its ok." he said. That was all Leon needed to say for me to continue my story.
"My mother and I would fight about him all the time. It got to the point where I decided to leave home and live with him, just so I wouldn't have to argue with her about it anymore. We got a place up in North Jersey because I was going to school up there at the time. Less than 6 months later, it started. Anthony would want to know where I was at every minute of the day. He called almost every hour and if I didn't answer the phone, he wanted to know where I was and who I was with. If I took too long coming home from my college classes, he would question me, lecture me, and give me a stern warnings about being to friendly with other students.. His temper was intimidating to say the least. I had always been so free spirited, but I guess he didn't find that attractive anymore. I guess it just fueled Anthony's jealousy and raised his temper to the breaking point."
I sat up, leaned over Leon, and grabbed a Newport off of his bed table. I looked at Leon and held a cigarette up, and raised my eyebrows, silently, asking if he wanted one.
"Cut me." Leon said.
I nodded my head, lit up, took a few drags to keep myself calm, than looked back over at him.
"You all right?" he asked, sitting up and nudging me. I just nodded and took another drag off the cigarette.
"I didn't know what Anthony was involved in when I met him. And when I did find out, I was excited by it at first. God, how stupid I was! I mean, his lifestyle was exciting to me!" I took another long drag off the cigarette.
"What do you mean? What was he into?" Leon looked at me with interest.
Before I could tell Leon, I had to make sure he knew I wasn't involved.
"Anthony made his life sound so much more glamorous then it was. It looked liked a lifestyle I wanted to live, on the outside, but once I was in, I was in hell."
"Why Sarah?"
"Anthony Perrelo. Perrelo. Does the name mean anything to you?" I asked.
Leon shrugged. "No. Is it supposed to?" he replied.
"Frank Perrelo was the Capo of the Genovese crime family for years before he died. Anthony is Frank Perrelo's youngest son." I handed Leon the other half of the butt, and scooted down to the end of the bed. Leon just sat there, with his mouth slightly open in dismay and disbelief.
"Where are you going Sarah?" Leon asked me. I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Sarah, don't.." he began.
"Don't what Leon?" Suddenly my attitude came out. I was getting angry at Leon because he wanted me to continue.
"Don't stop now Sarah. You are the one who wanted to talk about this O.K.? Well, I want to listen. So don't shut me out now, O.K.?"
Our eyes locked for a moment, and his emerald ones asked me to stay, and tell him. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and slowly scooted myself back up to the head of the bed.
"It's funny." I told Leon. "I was the only one who thought Anthony was important. Everyone else thought he was a joke. Anthony hated my friends and because he made it so obvious, after awhile they quit coming around. Like I told you a minute ago -- if Anthony saw me talking to anyone when he came to pick me up from classes, he would grill me for hours about who they were and what we were talking about. He never believed me. He thought I was having affairs and flirting and he would slap me or punch me when I would get angry and protest that I was innocent."
The memories of the violence made me nervous and I scooted away from Leon, and over to the edge of the bed. I stood up and began to slowly pace back and forth next to it, watching Leon's eyes following me, and thinking back to the beginning.
Leon watched me patiently, his face encouraging me to continue. After a minute or two, I took another deep breath and began again.
"I was so upset and embarrassed the first time Anthony gave huge bruise on my jaw, that I hid in the house for days and wouldn't go out in public. It was humiliating. I had always been strong, independent and happy. Suddenly I found I was living with someone who blamed me for making them unhappy, and he was punishing me! First it was just pushing or shoving, or a punch on my thigh when we were in the car. It hurt! The bruises were awful and I hid all of them that I could."
Leon's forehead furrowed in anger, but he didn't say a word. He nodded to encourage me to continue.
"I quit going to visit my girlfriends because I didn't want to upset Anthony or make him start accusing me of seeing another man again! Anthony was sure that I was unfaithful and he would keep me up night after night with yelling and accusations and lectures and threats. It was a nightmare. I was falling apart and I finally had to quit school too."
"Looking back now, I can see that Anthony was a pathetic jerk." I told Leon. Anthony was self-centered, selfish, greedy, boastful and cowardly. No one respected him. After his father died, they just . . . . They just tolerated him out of respect for the family name. Every time he tried to get into something big, Pops would always turn him down. He didn't want to have anything to do with him, and made sure that most people in the family din't have business with him either."
Leon stubbed out the cigarette.
"Who is Pops?"
"Pops was like my surrogate father." I answered. "He was the one who really ran the family up in North Jersey. He hated Anthony even more than the others did, I think, but for some reason Pops took a liking to me. Pops was always checking up on me. You know. He would make sure I was taken care of. He visited me one time in the hospital when Anthony had hurt me bad and broken my cheekbone. Pops drove me to my mother's home, begging me to leave Anthony, all the way to the house."
Pops. God I missed him.
(Flashback) "Bella, stay with me. That prick can't hurt you when I'm around."
"No pops, I will stay with my mother until I can get on my feet. You have already done so much to help by paying my hospital bill. I can't ask you to do that."
Pops shrugged and shook his head in sorrow. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of bills. "Here. You take this, but you don't spend. You save it, and never go back to him Bella. Please. I don't want that pretty face to be hurt or broken no more." I smiled through my tears at Pops and thanked him. (END FLASHBACK)
"Hey, you in there?" I felt Leon's hand on my wrist. He had leaned across the bed to where I had stopped pacing next to it, and was looking into my eyes with concern.
"Where was I...? oh...!" I tried to re-gather my thoughts.
You know the scar on my neck?" I asked Leon. He let go of my wrist as I reached up my hands and pushed my hair up off my neck so he could see it. Leon frowned and nodded.
"Well, that was 2 years ago. Anthony missed a shipment and I caught a mirror. He actually threw me right through my favorite mirror."
I was laughing in disgust by this point, trying to force the pain and tears of my past back down.
"Missed a shipment?" asked Leon, sitting back and looking confused.
"Anthony ran some chop shops in NYC. Since no one in the family wanted anything to do with him, he started his own shops with some young boys he knew. One night he was supposed to go down to the docks and pick up a big shipment of imports. Instead he decided to get piss drunk and passed out, missing the entire shipment. When he woke up..."
The memories of shattered glass and blood everywhere filled my mind and I couldn't hold back the tears building in my eyes.
"Sarah?" Leon whispered. I could see my pain reflected in his eyes. He wanted to keep me from re-living the moment, but I had to get it out.
"NO! I have to finish this!" I took a deep breath.
"When Anthony woke up, he must have realized that he'd blown it. I was already asleep but I got a rude awakening to say the least. Anthony blamed me, of course, for his missing the shipment. He yanked me up out of bed and before I was even awake, I was through the mirror. I don't really remember much after that."
The tears were falling freely from my eyes now. I wiped them away and kept going. If I was ever going to get through this I had to continue. I closed my eyes, thinking back. Leon was silent.
"Anthony came to the hospital with flowers and gifts, and he broke down and cried, pleading and begging me to forgive him; telling me how horribly sorry he was. I bought it. I wanted to believe that he would change. So I stayed. I stayed for another 18 months after that."
"Hey, are you ok?" Leon asked.
"Yeah. I just need to get this all out before I lose my nerve." I sat down on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands.
"OK." Leon said softly and he moved over closer to me and started to gently rub my back, trying to comfort me as my tears flowed.
I raised my head, wiped my eyes and began again.
"It just got worse after that. I lived in constant fear of his anger and his fists and feet. Anthony knew I was scared. He used my fear against me. He used my fear to control me, and I was so depressed and beaten down, that I no longer knew how to think properly. Nothing made sense. I felt hopeless and so ashamed. I was so terrified of his rage, and the beatings. I just wanted him to not hurt me. It went on for the next 2 years, and every time I got a little courage to stand up to him, I paid the price for my disobedience."
"I don't understand Sarah. Why didn't you leave him a long time ago? Why didn't you go with Pops?" Leon asked me. I could hear the anger and confusion in his voice.
"Leon, I tried. I tried a few times, but if I left and went to my mother's or my best friend's home, he would find me each time. Then he would come crying and begging my forgiveness and I believed him when he said that he could change. Then for the next few weeks after I went home with him, he would be perfect and kind and loving to me. After a few years, even that changed. The last two times I ran away, he threatened to kill my family and my friends. God help me, he is so crazy, I know he would, too!"
I sighed deeply.
"I could never bring myself to go to Pops. I was so ashamed to have to rely on him for anything. If I was to run to my mother or my friends, I would be endangering them. I reached the end of my rope Leon."
I walked around slowly to the other side of the bed, and took another cigarette out of the pack. Leon moved across the bed to where I was standing, lit the cigarette for me and wiped the tears off my face. He was very still, quiet, and patient -- carefully watching my face; looking into my eyes. "How kind this man is, I thought.
Then I continued, "For me, the end after my last beating. It was a milder punishment. He didn't break any bones this time." I sneered. Anthony just concentrated on kicking me up and down my back, as I laid curled up in a fetal position trying to protect my stomach chest and face. Anthony kicked me repeatedly, over my kidneys, my ribs, my legs. I woke up in the hospital again. But after two weeks, and right before I could be discharged, I sneaked out of the hospital while Anthony was at a meeting in Philly with the rest of his soldier buddies."
"Soldiers?" Leon asked with a perplexed look on his face.
"Soldiers in the mob, you know, you got soldiers, bosses, under bosses, Capos and soldiers."
"Oh. ok." Leon answered.
"So I knew Anthony would be gone, I had a day head start. I went home, packed up and planned my escape."
"You didn't just leave?" asked Leon.
"No, I waited for him to come home, made him his favorite dinner, and spiked it with my pain pills. I don't know whether I was trying to kill him or what but . . . When he was out, I left. Then a few days later I met you."
I quit my slow pacing and faced Leon with my arms hanging at my side. I watched his face, trying to see what he was thinking.
Leon closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.
"I don't know what to say Sarah. I'm so. sorry that your life was such shit." He looked down and shook his head again. I reached out and took his chin, lifting his face so I could see his eyes again.
"Hey Leon. It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything bad to me. You have been . . . You are the kindest man I've ever met. Please, don't feel bad Leon. Its better now. Anthony isn't hurting me anymore."
His green eyes looked back at me and I felt my heart skip. He reached up for my hands and pulled me down on the bed beside him again. Then he kissed me softly and gently, like a benediction. His lips gently and slowly moved from one side of my face to the other and then stopped at my lips. He kissed my lips, and I could taste my own tears that had flowed over my cheeks. Leon moved his hands slowly and softly down my face and my neck; to my shoulders, and down my back.
I leaned into him with a small, shuddering sigh and we slid down onto the bed together, in each other's arms. I stretched my body the length of him and hooked my upper leg around his. Leon's kisses became even slower and more smoldering and I felt our breathing thicken and deepen together. As he kissed me, he slowly and gently rolled me over on my back, and I felt the weight of his chest resting on mine, his arms wrapped around me strong and warm. I could feel my body relaxing and welcoming him completely into my arms. With a soft moan, I returned his deep kisses, bringing my hands up to his face, and then tangling my fingers in his thick, wavy hair.
My body, and my heart responded to the sound of his breath in my ear and his lips on my neck. I held onto him, drawing him closer -- feeling his heart and mine pounding with urgency. I clutched Leon as if he were the only thing I had left in this world, to hold onto. I felt his hands move down my sides, touching me and stroking me. His hands reached my ass, and pulled my hips firmly towards him.
Suddenly the door was flung open!
"Yo, breakfast is on the -- WHOA!" Vince burst in the room without warning.
I gave a yelp of surprise and Leon sat up abruptly with a scowl on his face.
"Can't you knock Dawg! DAYUM!" Leon roared, as he jumped off the bed and shoved a laughing and embarrassed Vince out of the room. I pulled the bed's comforter over my head and sank under it.
"Man, I am so sorry bout that Sarah. Old Coyote has no damn sense sometimes." Leon growled as he crawled back onto the bed next to me.
"Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened!" I groaned, my voice muffled by the comforter.
Leon reached out and pulled the comforter away out of my hands and uncovered my very embarrassed face.
"Don't worry about Vince. He's O.K. He just wasn't thinking as usual." said Leon.
"No! I meant I shouldn't have let us get that far Leon."
"Don't tell me that Sarah." Leon spoke sharply, and looked into my eyes intently.
I looked back at him in startled shock. "But-"
"Don't do it Sarah. Don't open up to me like that and then shut down when I am beginning to get closer to you."
I blushed furiously and snipped at Leon defensively. "Oh? So, like you are a big Guru on Love now? How many relationships have you been in?"
Leon looked at me closely for a minute, thinking hard, deciding whether to be pissed at me or not. Then he visibly relaxed, raised one eyebrow and smiled at me broadly. "O.K. Sarah. Whatever you want." he shrugged as he looked at me. Then he kissed me gently on the forehead. My attitude subsided and I let out a little laugh.
"Thank you for telling me about what happened Sarah."
"Please don't-"
"I won't tell a soul Sarah. I promise."
Leon kissed me gently on the lips and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear tenderly. He pulled the comforter back up to my chin gently and then rolled off of the bed. With one last smile, over his shoulder, Leon left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. I heard his steps down the hall and descent into the kitchen where he was greeted with cat whistles. Obviously Vince had informed the rest of the team downstairs about his little discovery this morning.
The last thing I wanted to deal with was the team. I took my time, trying to avoid judgmental eyes and questions. After a long shower, I got dressed and was slowly applying some light concealer to the mouse under my eye when Mia opened the door and came into the room.
"Soooooo?"
"What Mia?" I said half laughing
"I was right wasn't I?"
"Right about what?"
"Don't be coy with me Sarah, I can see the glow."
She was right. I couldn't stop smiling. Mia pulled me to my feet and led me down the stairs.
"C'mon. We're going out. Just you and me. Then you can tell me all about it." "What about Letty?"
"She's over at the garage already."
"On a Saturday?"
"Yup. She and Jessie had to finish up a car that a customer wants today, and the rest of the guys are going to the gym for a while. You and I have a few hours to get to know each other better." she said smiling, as she pulled me outside.
"We'll take my car. I feel like driving today, it being so nice and all."
"Don't put the top down, my hair will go flying" Mia protested
"Aw! C'mon Mia, let the wind whip through that hair, it feels great!"
"OK OK OK. But we only have a few hours, then I promised Dom we would bring the guys lunch at the garage later."
"Yeah whatever." I said, hopping into the car.
We hopped in the car and drove off, towards the mall, singing and laughing the whole way. I was so happy, I wasn't paying attention to the black Escalade that was following us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sara's POV
I rolled over in the morning to see Leon sleeping, still in his clothes, right at my side. A wave of relief washed over me. Thank God, I didn't completely ruin everything. I touched my wounds and surprisingly they didn't hurt as bad as I thought they would. The events of last night replayed in my head, and I couldn't help but groan first. And then I smiled. Leon had been the first person in my life ever, to jump in when I was being hurt. Well -- there was Rayna, but that was a whole other story.
It had been 3 weeks since I'd known Leon, and his patience with me was constant and steady. After all the bullshit I'd been through, it looked like I'd finally found someone that was willing to take his time with me. That meant more to me then anything. Here I was, in his bed, in his clothes, wondering about how I was going tell him about my past. It seemed only fair to clue him in. At least on some of it. Leon had already seen the scar on my neck. I was sure he'd figured some of it out on his own. Leon was not a stupid man. But I thought that it was only fair that I clue him in. He deserved the truth about me -- at least some of the truth. I ran my fingers lightly up and down his arm. I loved the way his skin felt, so hard and smooth at the same time, it was hard to explain, but I couldn't get enough. I ran my fingers up his arm across his neck, up his chin and around his jaw line, taking in his sleeping form...until he opened his eyes. I didn't stop, I just looked at him, and continued to trace my fingers over his face. He smiled and stared into my eyes.
"Morning beautiful." his raspy voice murmured to me. A faint smile crept over my face.
"Hey." I managed to whisper. I hadn't realized how upset my thought had made me until I heard my voice crack. Leon looked at me with slight confusion in his eyes.
"That shiner's not as bad as I thought it would be." he said.
I felt his fingers gently caress my face. Instinctively my eyes closed and I leaned into his touch for the first time. It felt so good.
"I think I'm ready now." The words slipped from my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.
"Ready for what?" he asked.
"To tell you about me. To tell you about my past."
His eyes dropped and a look of regret washed over him. Why was he feeling bad about this?
"Are you sure? Sarah you don't owe me-"
"I want to tell you. You've been so patient with me Leon. I feel as though I owe you an explanation about my behavior. Maybe you'll understand why I have sent you so many mixed signals, after you have heard me out."
I felt ashamed suddenly. I had never been the kind of person to lead anyone on, but since I had run from Anthony I had been so confused about what I wanted, that I had been throwing curve balls without realizing it. I laid back down on my side of the bed, and shook my head, reprimanding myself for the way I had been treating Leon. He propped himself up on his elbow and turned to face me.
"Your signals have been O.K. I can cope." he smiled, trying to catch my gaze. Still, I could tell by his tone that he felt almost as uncomfortable as I did at that moment. Panic and fear were building inside me, but I was determined to tell Leon. I took a deep, ragged breath and began.
"Anthony was my fiancée'. We were together off and on for about 4 years. At first things were ok. I mean, he was never one for romance. that just wasn't Anthony's style. But he took good care of me, bought me anything I wanted, and protected me from anyone who even looked at me wrong. I should have seen the warning signs in his over-protectiveness, and jealousy, but I was blinded by my love. I didn't understand it wasn't healthy or right until it was too late."
By this time, Leon was laying on his back, and I moved over to his side and rested my head on his chest. I took another deep breath, and tried to build up my courage, and then I felt him hands run through my hair.
"Hey, its ok." he said. That was all Leon needed to say for me to continue my story.
"My mother and I would fight about him all the time. It got to the point where I decided to leave home and live with him, just so I wouldn't have to argue with her about it anymore. We got a place up in North Jersey because I was going to school up there at the time. Less than 6 months later, it started. Anthony would want to know where I was at every minute of the day. He called almost every hour and if I didn't answer the phone, he wanted to know where I was and who I was with. If I took too long coming home from my college classes, he would question me, lecture me, and give me a stern warnings about being to friendly with other students.. His temper was intimidating to say the least. I had always been so free spirited, but I guess he didn't find that attractive anymore. I guess it just fueled Anthony's jealousy and raised his temper to the breaking point."
I sat up, leaned over Leon, and grabbed a Newport off of his bed table. I looked at Leon and held a cigarette up, and raised my eyebrows, silently, asking if he wanted one.
"Cut me." Leon said.
I nodded my head, lit up, took a few drags to keep myself calm, than looked back over at him.
"You all right?" he asked, sitting up and nudging me. I just nodded and took another drag off the cigarette.
"I didn't know what Anthony was involved in when I met him. And when I did find out, I was excited by it at first. God, how stupid I was! I mean, his lifestyle was exciting to me!" I took another long drag off the cigarette.
"What do you mean? What was he into?" Leon looked at me with interest.
Before I could tell Leon, I had to make sure he knew I wasn't involved.
"Anthony made his life sound so much more glamorous then it was. It looked liked a lifestyle I wanted to live, on the outside, but once I was in, I was in hell."
"Why Sarah?"
"Anthony Perrelo. Perrelo. Does the name mean anything to you?" I asked.
Leon shrugged. "No. Is it supposed to?" he replied.
"Frank Perrelo was the Capo of the Genovese crime family for years before he died. Anthony is Frank Perrelo's youngest son." I handed Leon the other half of the butt, and scooted down to the end of the bed. Leon just sat there, with his mouth slightly open in dismay and disbelief.
"Where are you going Sarah?" Leon asked me. I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Sarah, don't.." he began.
"Don't what Leon?" Suddenly my attitude came out. I was getting angry at Leon because he wanted me to continue.
"Don't stop now Sarah. You are the one who wanted to talk about this O.K.? Well, I want to listen. So don't shut me out now, O.K.?"
Our eyes locked for a moment, and his emerald ones asked me to stay, and tell him. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and slowly scooted myself back up to the head of the bed.
"It's funny." I told Leon. "I was the only one who thought Anthony was important. Everyone else thought he was a joke. Anthony hated my friends and because he made it so obvious, after awhile they quit coming around. Like I told you a minute ago -- if Anthony saw me talking to anyone when he came to pick me up from classes, he would grill me for hours about who they were and what we were talking about. He never believed me. He thought I was having affairs and flirting and he would slap me or punch me when I would get angry and protest that I was innocent."
The memories of the violence made me nervous and I scooted away from Leon, and over to the edge of the bed. I stood up and began to slowly pace back and forth next to it, watching Leon's eyes following me, and thinking back to the beginning.
Leon watched me patiently, his face encouraging me to continue. After a minute or two, I took another deep breath and began again.
"I was so upset and embarrassed the first time Anthony gave huge bruise on my jaw, that I hid in the house for days and wouldn't go out in public. It was humiliating. I had always been strong, independent and happy. Suddenly I found I was living with someone who blamed me for making them unhappy, and he was punishing me! First it was just pushing or shoving, or a punch on my thigh when we were in the car. It hurt! The bruises were awful and I hid all of them that I could."
Leon's forehead furrowed in anger, but he didn't say a word. He nodded to encourage me to continue.
"I quit going to visit my girlfriends because I didn't want to upset Anthony or make him start accusing me of seeing another man again! Anthony was sure that I was unfaithful and he would keep me up night after night with yelling and accusations and lectures and threats. It was a nightmare. I was falling apart and I finally had to quit school too."
"Looking back now, I can see that Anthony was a pathetic jerk." I told Leon. Anthony was self-centered, selfish, greedy, boastful and cowardly. No one respected him. After his father died, they just . . . . They just tolerated him out of respect for the family name. Every time he tried to get into something big, Pops would always turn him down. He didn't want to have anything to do with him, and made sure that most people in the family din't have business with him either."
Leon stubbed out the cigarette.
"Who is Pops?"
"Pops was like my surrogate father." I answered. "He was the one who really ran the family up in North Jersey. He hated Anthony even more than the others did, I think, but for some reason Pops took a liking to me. Pops was always checking up on me. You know. He would make sure I was taken care of. He visited me one time in the hospital when Anthony had hurt me bad and broken my cheekbone. Pops drove me to my mother's home, begging me to leave Anthony, all the way to the house."
Pops. God I missed him.
(Flashback) "Bella, stay with me. That prick can't hurt you when I'm around."
"No pops, I will stay with my mother until I can get on my feet. You have already done so much to help by paying my hospital bill. I can't ask you to do that."
Pops shrugged and shook his head in sorrow. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of bills. "Here. You take this, but you don't spend. You save it, and never go back to him Bella. Please. I don't want that pretty face to be hurt or broken no more." I smiled through my tears at Pops and thanked him. (END FLASHBACK)
"Hey, you in there?" I felt Leon's hand on my wrist. He had leaned across the bed to where I had stopped pacing next to it, and was looking into my eyes with concern.
"Where was I...? oh...!" I tried to re-gather my thoughts.
You know the scar on my neck?" I asked Leon. He let go of my wrist as I reached up my hands and pushed my hair up off my neck so he could see it. Leon frowned and nodded.
"Well, that was 2 years ago. Anthony missed a shipment and I caught a mirror. He actually threw me right through my favorite mirror."
I was laughing in disgust by this point, trying to force the pain and tears of my past back down.
"Missed a shipment?" asked Leon, sitting back and looking confused.
"Anthony ran some chop shops in NYC. Since no one in the family wanted anything to do with him, he started his own shops with some young boys he knew. One night he was supposed to go down to the docks and pick up a big shipment of imports. Instead he decided to get piss drunk and passed out, missing the entire shipment. When he woke up..."
The memories of shattered glass and blood everywhere filled my mind and I couldn't hold back the tears building in my eyes.
"Sarah?" Leon whispered. I could see my pain reflected in his eyes. He wanted to keep me from re-living the moment, but I had to get it out.
"NO! I have to finish this!" I took a deep breath.
"When Anthony woke up, he must have realized that he'd blown it. I was already asleep but I got a rude awakening to say the least. Anthony blamed me, of course, for his missing the shipment. He yanked me up out of bed and before I was even awake, I was through the mirror. I don't really remember much after that."
The tears were falling freely from my eyes now. I wiped them away and kept going. If I was ever going to get through this I had to continue. I closed my eyes, thinking back. Leon was silent.
"Anthony came to the hospital with flowers and gifts, and he broke down and cried, pleading and begging me to forgive him; telling me how horribly sorry he was. I bought it. I wanted to believe that he would change. So I stayed. I stayed for another 18 months after that."
"Hey, are you ok?" Leon asked.
"Yeah. I just need to get this all out before I lose my nerve." I sat down on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands.
"OK." Leon said softly and he moved over closer to me and started to gently rub my back, trying to comfort me as my tears flowed.
I raised my head, wiped my eyes and began again.
"It just got worse after that. I lived in constant fear of his anger and his fists and feet. Anthony knew I was scared. He used my fear against me. He used my fear to control me, and I was so depressed and beaten down, that I no longer knew how to think properly. Nothing made sense. I felt hopeless and so ashamed. I was so terrified of his rage, and the beatings. I just wanted him to not hurt me. It went on for the next 2 years, and every time I got a little courage to stand up to him, I paid the price for my disobedience."
"I don't understand Sarah. Why didn't you leave him a long time ago? Why didn't you go with Pops?" Leon asked me. I could hear the anger and confusion in his voice.
"Leon, I tried. I tried a few times, but if I left and went to my mother's or my best friend's home, he would find me each time. Then he would come crying and begging my forgiveness and I believed him when he said that he could change. Then for the next few weeks after I went home with him, he would be perfect and kind and loving to me. After a few years, even that changed. The last two times I ran away, he threatened to kill my family and my friends. God help me, he is so crazy, I know he would, too!"
I sighed deeply.
"I could never bring myself to go to Pops. I was so ashamed to have to rely on him for anything. If I was to run to my mother or my friends, I would be endangering them. I reached the end of my rope Leon."
I walked around slowly to the other side of the bed, and took another cigarette out of the pack. Leon moved across the bed to where I was standing, lit the cigarette for me and wiped the tears off my face. He was very still, quiet, and patient -- carefully watching my face; looking into my eyes. "How kind this man is, I thought.
Then I continued, "For me, the end after my last beating. It was a milder punishment. He didn't break any bones this time." I sneered. Anthony just concentrated on kicking me up and down my back, as I laid curled up in a fetal position trying to protect my stomach chest and face. Anthony kicked me repeatedly, over my kidneys, my ribs, my legs. I woke up in the hospital again. But after two weeks, and right before I could be discharged, I sneaked out of the hospital while Anthony was at a meeting in Philly with the rest of his soldier buddies."
"Soldiers?" Leon asked with a perplexed look on his face.
"Soldiers in the mob, you know, you got soldiers, bosses, under bosses, Capos and soldiers."
"Oh. ok." Leon answered.
"So I knew Anthony would be gone, I had a day head start. I went home, packed up and planned my escape."
"You didn't just leave?" asked Leon.
"No, I waited for him to come home, made him his favorite dinner, and spiked it with my pain pills. I don't know whether I was trying to kill him or what but . . . When he was out, I left. Then a few days later I met you."
I quit my slow pacing and faced Leon with my arms hanging at my side. I watched his face, trying to see what he was thinking.
Leon closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.
"I don't know what to say Sarah. I'm so. sorry that your life was such shit." He looked down and shook his head again. I reached out and took his chin, lifting his face so I could see his eyes again.
"Hey Leon. It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything bad to me. You have been . . . You are the kindest man I've ever met. Please, don't feel bad Leon. Its better now. Anthony isn't hurting me anymore."
His green eyes looked back at me and I felt my heart skip. He reached up for my hands and pulled me down on the bed beside him again. Then he kissed me softly and gently, like a benediction. His lips gently and slowly moved from one side of my face to the other and then stopped at my lips. He kissed my lips, and I could taste my own tears that had flowed over my cheeks. Leon moved his hands slowly and softly down my face and my neck; to my shoulders, and down my back.
I leaned into him with a small, shuddering sigh and we slid down onto the bed together, in each other's arms. I stretched my body the length of him and hooked my upper leg around his. Leon's kisses became even slower and more smoldering and I felt our breathing thicken and deepen together. As he kissed me, he slowly and gently rolled me over on my back, and I felt the weight of his chest resting on mine, his arms wrapped around me strong and warm. I could feel my body relaxing and welcoming him completely into my arms. With a soft moan, I returned his deep kisses, bringing my hands up to his face, and then tangling my fingers in his thick, wavy hair.
My body, and my heart responded to the sound of his breath in my ear and his lips on my neck. I held onto him, drawing him closer -- feeling his heart and mine pounding with urgency. I clutched Leon as if he were the only thing I had left in this world, to hold onto. I felt his hands move down my sides, touching me and stroking me. His hands reached my ass, and pulled my hips firmly towards him.
Suddenly the door was flung open!
"Yo, breakfast is on the -- WHOA!" Vince burst in the room without warning.
I gave a yelp of surprise and Leon sat up abruptly with a scowl on his face.
"Can't you knock Dawg! DAYUM!" Leon roared, as he jumped off the bed and shoved a laughing and embarrassed Vince out of the room. I pulled the bed's comforter over my head and sank under it.
"Man, I am so sorry bout that Sarah. Old Coyote has no damn sense sometimes." Leon growled as he crawled back onto the bed next to me.
"Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened!" I groaned, my voice muffled by the comforter.
Leon reached out and pulled the comforter away out of my hands and uncovered my very embarrassed face.
"Don't worry about Vince. He's O.K. He just wasn't thinking as usual." said Leon.
"No! I meant I shouldn't have let us get that far Leon."
"Don't tell me that Sarah." Leon spoke sharply, and looked into my eyes intently.
I looked back at him in startled shock. "But-"
"Don't do it Sarah. Don't open up to me like that and then shut down when I am beginning to get closer to you."
I blushed furiously and snipped at Leon defensively. "Oh? So, like you are a big Guru on Love now? How many relationships have you been in?"
Leon looked at me closely for a minute, thinking hard, deciding whether to be pissed at me or not. Then he visibly relaxed, raised one eyebrow and smiled at me broadly. "O.K. Sarah. Whatever you want." he shrugged as he looked at me. Then he kissed me gently on the forehead. My attitude subsided and I let out a little laugh.
"Thank you for telling me about what happened Sarah."
"Please don't-"
"I won't tell a soul Sarah. I promise."
Leon kissed me gently on the lips and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear tenderly. He pulled the comforter back up to my chin gently and then rolled off of the bed. With one last smile, over his shoulder, Leon left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. I heard his steps down the hall and descent into the kitchen where he was greeted with cat whistles. Obviously Vince had informed the rest of the team downstairs about his little discovery this morning.
The last thing I wanted to deal with was the team. I took my time, trying to avoid judgmental eyes and questions. After a long shower, I got dressed and was slowly applying some light concealer to the mouse under my eye when Mia opened the door and came into the room.
"Soooooo?"
"What Mia?" I said half laughing
"I was right wasn't I?"
"Right about what?"
"Don't be coy with me Sarah, I can see the glow."
She was right. I couldn't stop smiling. Mia pulled me to my feet and led me down the stairs.
"C'mon. We're going out. Just you and me. Then you can tell me all about it." "What about Letty?"
"She's over at the garage already."
"On a Saturday?"
"Yup. She and Jessie had to finish up a car that a customer wants today, and the rest of the guys are going to the gym for a while. You and I have a few hours to get to know each other better." she said smiling, as she pulled me outside.
"We'll take my car. I feel like driving today, it being so nice and all."
"Don't put the top down, my hair will go flying" Mia protested
"Aw! C'mon Mia, let the wind whip through that hair, it feels great!"
"OK OK OK. But we only have a few hours, then I promised Dom we would bring the guys lunch at the garage later."
"Yeah whatever." I said, hopping into the car.
We hopped in the car and drove off, towards the mall, singing and laughing the whole way. I was so happy, I wasn't paying attention to the black Escalade that was following us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~