"One Last Roll of a Loaded Dice" by Luke's Dragon
Part II "Broken Promises That Blow on a Wild Wind"
Disclaimer
I don't own it, but then again you already knew that.
Author Notes
This is Part II and it is a songfic based upon 'Wild is the Wind' by Bonjovi from the
'New Jersey' Album and it is Yamato's view on him and Kari. As in the last part Kari was 20 this will make Yamato about 23 so "The Teenage Wolves" is a little silly as a band name but it's still cool so never mind...I think Part III will be either Davis or Tai's view it just depends who I fancy writing first, although both will get their say.
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The Teenage Wolves were coming to the end of another concert, as his band started the last song lead singer Yamato Ishida thought back to the time in his life this song always reminded him of. The time when he had let the most important thing in his life slip away from him, the time that he had broken the only promise he had ever made. The time that he had given up on love. And although many years had passed, and every groupie wanted to be with the blond haired singer, he only wanted one girl, the girl with a light in her eyes, the girl he had lost to pursue a dream.
I tried to make you happy,
Lord knows I tried so hard to be what you hoped that I would be
I gave you what you wanted, God couldn't give you what you need
Kari, Damn it, why could he not stop thinking of her lately? Whenever he sung she came back to him, happy or sad whatever the words, everything reminded Yamato of Kari. Kari who he had loved, Kari who he had let slip away. When it had come down to it, he was still the loner, the one who always played it cool, who never let his feelings show. Perhaps if all those years ago he would have, could have let her know just how much she had meant to him. Maybe now he'd be holding her in his arms. Would that be better than being a superstar? Regretfully he thought that anything would sure be better than being a lonely superstar.
Yamato was glad of the stage lighting, it hid the lone tear that escaped from his blue eyes, his usually iron self control letting him down for a second as he thought back to the time the words he sang were once his.
You wanted more from me than I could ever be
You wanted heart and soul but you didn't know baby...
Was it true, had Kari wanted more from him than he could give her, or was it the other way round? Perhaps it was more a case that he was just glad of an excuse to escape, every time he had ever opened up to anyone he'd got hurt. His parents, TK and Tai had all hurt him somehow, perhaps it was just fear that the same would happen with Kari. He had often wondered what would have happened had he stayed, perhaps him and Kari could have patched things up but a week after they broke up the band had secured a record deal, and that had been the end of it. Matt had left his childhood friends behind him to become a star. At the time he had thought it was fate that they had split up, otherwise he would never have been able to leave. Now, he still believed it was fate, if he had still been with Kari he would not have had all the experiences, all the wealth, but still he didn't know what he'd have preferred.
He had always thought the way they broke up that Kari would never miss him, and he had felt that way for a while, but then he had lost contact with Tai, their friendship had fallen apart. Yamato often wondered if it was because he had hurt Tai's little sister that his best friend had stopped wanting to even talk to him. Now he felt alone, the two people he most wanted, at all the gigs, all the awards to be with him, to share the good times hated him. That last line 'you didn't know baby' well he was damn sure Kari never knew just how much he'd end up missing her. As the chorus began, and the fans screamed his name, Yamato wished that he could be back at a cold youth club singing a song to his best friend's sister.
Wild, Wild is the wind that takes me away from you
Cold is the night without your love to see me through
Baby, Wild, wild is the wind that blows through my heart tonight
Wild, wild is the wind, you've gotta understand baby, wild is the wind
It pained him to think of how those words had hurt Kari at the beginning, the night of her sixteenth birthday they had kissed, everyone else had just assumed it was a dare on some stupid party game, but they had both known it was so much more. Later that night he had told Tai that it meant nothing, he hadn't realized she was listening, and had nearly blown his chance. Well this time he had really messed up, it had been almost three years since they had seen each other, and longer still since they had spoken. It had taken him so long to finally admit to himself and his friends how he felt about Kari, most were shocked, Joe and Mimi had both said they thought he'd end up marrying Sora, and having a few children. Yamato had always found this a ridiculous idea, just like someone who'd once thought he'd give up his dream of becoming a rock star for some strange career what was it they'd said, an astronaut? Sora herself had said she thought him and Tai would end up together, after all, she had laughed there were enough signs the two were more than friends. Yamato again didn't think that was ever going to happen, once when they were younger they'd been close, but he'd always wanted true love, not just sex and drama like he'd have got from Tai. Only his brother and Tai had got it right, TK was upset at first but he got over it, the two brothers had always been close. In fact Matt thought, had he and Kari stayed together he wasn't sure if he'd have TK or Tai as his best man. Tai had not been so understanding when he had found out, he had told Matt to stay away from his sister. Matt hadn't listened and the two had come to blows over it, and had almost ended their friendship. Matt didn't mind though, something's he had told himself were worth fighting for, that made him think of his promise to Kari…
You need someone to hold you, somebody to be there night and day
Someone to kiss your fears away...
I just went on pretending, too proud, too weak, too tough to say
That was always the damn case, he'd never been able to tell people how he really felt, he'd been unable to tell Kari how much he loved her, to tell Tai how much their friendship meant, to tell TK how proud he was of him. Maybe he wouldn't have lost touch with them if only he could have, but it was never going to happen, Yamato Ishida never opened up to people, he'd never been good at it before, but after he had left Kari he had promised never to let himself get hurt again. Had it worked, he wasn't sure. True no one could break his heart if he never let anyone get close, but still after all the record sales, all the millions of fans, all the money he couldn't help thinking the happiest memories of love were all about Kari. Just a girl who he had once told he didn't love, strange to think, but at the time he really believed that, he really believed that money and fame meant more to him than she did. His band all asked 'what about your dreams, didn't you achieve them?' but in truth he didn't feel like he had, it was soppy thinking he knew, but without his friends it didn't feel like he'd accomplished much. 'Man! I'm starting to sound like a Disney film! Nothing without my friends I don't believe that really. Do I?'
I couldn't be the one to make your dreams come true,
that's why I had to run, though I needed you
It was true; he'd never been able to make Kari's dreams happen. He still remembered it she'd said she wanted him to always be there, to protect her, to fight for her, and he'd promised, upon his crest of friendship, on Gabumon's name, on his heart, on his life that what ever happened he'd always fight for her. He soon was able to put this to the test, Tai had found out about their relationship and, in typical Tai fashion had challenged him to a fight, why Tai always tried to settle everything with his fists Yamato had never known. The two had both been ready to kill each other, Yamato had thought it nice that neither one had been prepared to back down, she had been too important to them both. Kari had separated the two when she had found out, and although she had been cross that the two had fought, Yamato still felt pleased remembering that she would always fight for him too, they could have true love forever. Sad, but it seemed 'forever' didn't seem to last very long in real life.
Wild, Wild is the wind that takes me away from you
Cold is the night without your love to see me through
Baby, Wild, wild is the wind that blows through my heart tonight and tears us apart
Wild, wild is the wind, Wild, wild is the wind
you've gotta understand baby, wild is the wind
One hundred and sixty nine days, is how long 'forever' lasted. The same length of time his promise lasted too. Then they had split up and it had all been over. He couldn't remember her exact words but they had both agreed that they should spilt up. Was it something about having changed, or had he done something to upset her without ever knowing? What hurt the most though was his broken promise, he hadn't fought for her, and at the very end he had just agreed 'this was for the best' and walked away. Strange but he hadn't considered it before, but there are more ways to fight than just throw a punch. He should have said 'no, don't leave' he should have never taken that damned recording contract and stayed, proved to her how much he cared. But he couldn't, maybe if he'd have been stronger, braver, more like Tai he could have…oh what was the point? 'Its over, it has been for a long time, just forget her Yamato, don't go wishing for things that can never be.'
For a long time he hadn't thought about Kari, although sometimes, hell everyday it was a battle to stop himself. Maybe it was just being back in this town, the place he had grown up that brought back so many memories, but they were happy memories, and perhaps… No there was no going back, 'she's probably moved on with her life, who am I to say she should stay stuck on a jerk like me forever?
Maybe a better man could live and die for you
Baby a better man would never say goodbye to you.
He hoped that she had found a better man, someone who'd never hurt her the way he had, someone like Davis, he felt sad to think how he'd got his heart broken all those years ago. He liked Davis there was something about his constantly cheerful demeanor that seemed infectious, although he couldn't help remembering how quiet the boy had been when Kari left him, he had never spoke to Yamato again since. 'Just another casualty of Yamato Ishida'. That hurt too he'd never wanted to loose a friend and leave him broken hearted, it would have been nice to think that maybe Kari would have seen Davis for more than just the outer person, who was always pestering her. People always said Davis was a cross between him and Tai, so perhaps with elements of him and Tai, he could make a better go of it, maybe make Kari happy. 'Then again, he couldn't really make a bigger mess than I did'. Yamato didn't notice the girl in the fifth row with a camera case around her neck, and a light shining in her brown eyes, even if he had, Yamato Ishida never talked to girls he met at concerts, especially ones who reminded him of Kari.