TITLE: Running (TFATF - FanFic)
AUTHOR: Daaasl
CHAPTER 23 of many chapters
RATING: R for language, violence and some sex
DISCLAIMER: The characters from TFATF belong to Universal films. No profit is being made from this work, and any copyright infringement is entirely unintentional. All other characters created for this fiction are mine, and should not be used in other materials or websites without my permission.
ARCHIVE: You can find previous chapters at: http://www.realmofvindiesel.homestead.com Anyone else wanting to post my fanfic on their site, please check with me.
FEEDBACK: Please. I like to know what you think. But be gentle and constructive. ======================================= Running by Daaasl
Chapter 23
The last week has been pure hell. My daily routine consists of being poked, prodded, forced to walk around in pain, receiving less and less of my morphine shots, and just today I am beginning my breathing exercises as soon as the rest of the tubes in my side are removed.
I am on a better diet at least. I have graduated to scrambled eggs and toast in the morning, and baked chicken breast and salad for dinner. It's so much better then dry toast and green Jello. The team comes to visit me at least once a day. They spread out their visits so I get to see everyone for about a half hour at a time. Letty and Mia always come together. Letty sneaks me in Starburst candies -- one pack a day, even though I'm not supposed to have the sugar yet. Since I am totally banned from smoking, the Starburst candies help keep me sane.
The girls are great, and they stay the longest. They both help me take a shower everyday, since my arm is still filled with stitches and covered in bandages. Letty holds my arm up and keeps the tubes and monitors out of the way while Mia helps me wash. At first I was embarrassed; not only by them seeing me naked, covered in all my old battle wounds, but because I felt so helpless. Even when Anthony beat me bad, I had never been this helpless before. It's frustrating, but after a while, it just became second nature and I don't mind so much anymore.
"C'mon girl, we can dry you off, and put you in some regular clothes today." Mia said cheerfully as she pulled out some cotton night shirts from a shopping bag.
"You guys have been awesome." I said as she helped the night shirt over my head before helping me back to my bed.
"Here." Letty said as she palmed a Starburst in my hand and gave me a wink.
"Letty! Stop feeding that girl candy!" Mia shouted at Letty. Then we all looked at each other and started laughing. Although I could muster was a giggle, it was still more then I could do a week ago.
"Letty?" I asked.
"Yeah?"
"Could you braid my hair for me? It keeps getting in my way."
She smiled and hopped up on the bed behind me, with her legs on either side. Mia pulled up a chair and began to paint my nails. "No rule saying you can't look good in a hospital, right?"
I just smiled. I was so glad God gave me these two women for my friends. They made me feel so much better about myself. We sat there and talked small talk -- Mia's college classes, Letty wanting to enter a race in a couple of weeks, business at the shop, and guys of course. I noticed how they steered clear of saying or asking anything about Leon, and I can't say that I was unhappy about that. Truth was, I didn't know how to answer any questions they might have had. But there was one thing I needed to find out.
"Have either of you heard anything about my car?!?!?" I asked in hope that it had survived.
Mia started to explain, "We, um - had it towed to the garage to see if we could save it, but ---"
"It was totaled Sarah. I'm sorry." Letty finished quietly, as she combed and parted my damp hair to start braiding it
We were all three silent for a moment. I thought of how much I loved my baby and how much I was going to miss her. I sighed and decided I would have to deal with the issue later.
"You want small braids, or bigger ones?." Letty asked.
"Can you box them for me?"
"Yeah," she said, and started to giggle.
"What?" I asked. What?"
"Nothing bad. I just can't see sweet lil Sarah looking all ghetto with box braids."
"I always wanted them, but Anthony--"
"New rule !" Mia stated loudly and abruptly..
Letty and I jumped in surprise and then looked at her questioningly.
"No more Anthony talk." she said firmly.
"Amen!" Letty hollered behind me. I just grinned at Mia and nodded in agreement
An hour later my hair was done, as well as my nails. Mia was putting away her supplies, when Vince walked in the room.
"Hey ladies." he began and then did a double take and grinned. "Oh My god girl. What did you do to your hair?" My face just lit up as I reached for Vince. He came over and we hugged. I always hold on just a little longer when I'm holding him. The feeling of security is so present when he's around. Every time I see him, I hug him, I just love him so much. He's become a surrogate big brother to me over the last week. And he doesn't seem to mind the role. After we let go, he kissed me on top my head and turned to the girls.
"Well, our work here is done." Mia teased. "We'll see you tomorrow Sarah." she said as we embraced. I hugged Letty and said goodbye, as Vince pulled his chair up next to me.
"I brought you the stuff you asked for." he said handing me a bag. It was filled with magazines, crossword puzzles, and a journal. He also bought me a 12-pack of pens. I held them up and looked at him in question.
"In case these bastards steal them from you. You know how doctors are."
"And how are we?" Dr. Solomon asked as he walked in sporting a big grin.
"Oh.. uh.. not you Doc. You're cool." Vince said as he attempted a quick recovery, but failed.
"Dr. Solomon laughed at Vince and said, "Well, I'm glad you're here. I am taking out the rest of the tubes today, and I could use your help." He walked over to me, putting on his gloves.
"Now Sarah, I'm not going to lie. This is going to hurt. But once the tubing is removed, I can numb your skin up and suture the wounds without further pain , okay?"
I looked over at Vince, pleading with my eyes. Vince smiled and took my hand to reassure me.
"You'll have to take this off." Dr Solomon said pointing at my night shirt. Vince raised his eyebrows at Dr. Solomon and looked uneasy., while Dr. Solomon seemed to be waiting for Vince to leave the room.
Breaking the tension, I laughed and said, "OK. Relax and just help me get out of this shirt V. Brian already told me you saw me topless at the accident." Dr. Solomon just stood there a little dumbfounded, while Vince tucked my blanket around my waist before helping me out of my night shirt. Then he helped as Dr. Solomon rolled me on my right side. Vince leaned in closer to me, so we were at eye level.
"First time I've been in a room with a topless woman and haven't tried to bone her." V said trying to lighten up the mood. The Doctor snorted and I started laughing but then he told me to be still so that he could start removing the tubing.
"V.I'm scared." I whispered as I felt a cool liquid disinfectant being lathered around the tubes and the incisions.
"I'm right here woman. You're gonna be fine. Just think. You won't have to haul all those hoses and wires for monitors with you anymore. It will feel a hell of a lot better once they're out." Vince attempted to smooth my hair, but pulled his hand back and looked disappointed. "Why did you braid your hair?" he asked a little bit grumpy.
"It's always in the way."
"I like it better loose." he said smiling, and stealing a kiss on my forehead before Dr. Solomon announced he was ready to start.
"Ok, now Sarah. When I tell you, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you can please." I nodded and looked at V, who winked at me with encouragement.
"Ok, Sarah." said the doctor. Now please."
I sucked in a deep breath and as soon as I felt the air go into my lungs, I felt a pain tearing through my ribs, right to the center of my chest. I squeezed my eyes tight shut, and clenched V's hand. Underneath the pain so bad that I wanted to scream, I could Vince whispering how it was almost done, and how I was doing really great. When the doctor said OK, I finally let go of the air, and let my tears fall freely onto our hands.
"Excellent Sarah, just once more, then you'll be done." the Doctor said.
"No!" I wailed. "No! I can't! It --. hurts too much!." I said between sobs.
"Hang on and give us a second Doc." V said looking up, before bending back down to me.
"C'mon Sarah. This is the last one. Just once more, ok?" V spoke softly.
No Vince! I won't! It hurts too much!" I snapped at him. Vince frowned and looked at me with menace in his eyes, before he stood up and folded his arms over his chest. He cocked his head to one side and said, "OK then. I'm leaving." and he turned to go.
"V! Don't you dare!." I looked up helplessly.
"Then finish it!" he demanded, stepping back to the chair next to my bed and bending over me again.
I whimpered in frustration, but finally nodded my head and grabbed his hand again, hard.
"God! You females are so stubborn." He squeezed my hand and looked in my eyes. "Ready Doc." he said without breaking his gaze, and then he urged me "Do it Sarah!"
I sucked in another breath and felt the pain again. I could hardly believe how much worse the pain was this time and I cried out, "Oh shit! Stop!". And suddenly it did. I gasped, letting the tears pour and sobbed in relief. From somewhere, Vince produced a clean handkerchief and dabbed my cheeks and eyes while comforting me and telling me I was a good girl. My tears slowed and then stopped as the pain receded.
"All done Sarah. That's was the last one. So I'm numbing your skin around the incisions now, and in a couple of minutes, I'll be able to suture you up and you'll be ok." I heard Dr. Solomon say, as sniffed and blew my nose, and then looked over at V.
He had a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Why the hell are you so cheerful and smug?" I asked grumpily.
"Because I knew you would do it." he said and patted my cheek. I wrinkled up my nose at him and made a face, but I couldn't keep from smiling in amusement at his satisfaction in a job well done.
Soon Dr. Solomon was done and Vince helped me turn onto my back. I was so wiped out, and tired from the whole ordeal that I didn't hear the door to my room open. As I slid my arm back into one of the sleeves of my night shirt, I felt Vince pull my blankets up over me, tucking them in. "Hey Dawg." I heard him say nervously. Looking up, I saw Leon standing in the doorway, with a furious look on his face. He was as mad as hell. Great. Just what I needed was for Leon to go off the deep end again with his temper.
"What the fuck is going on here V?!" he shouted. I clutched my blankets and rolled my eyes at Vince as Leon stormed towards us.
"Sarah got the last of the other tubes out just now, and I helped out the Doc." Vince. said, defending himself.
"Is that why she ain't got no fucking clothes on?!" Leon shouted. I winced at the tone in his voice but stayed cool and calm as I told him "Maybe if you had been the one here when the doctor decided to take them out, you could have helped me Leon, but it was Vince who was here so the doctor had him help instead. Then I added in exasperation, "God! Knock off all the machismo bullshit already, will ya?" I said as I got my arm through the other sleeve of my night shirt and began to button back up under the covers.
"Bullshit!" Leon shouted, and flipped over my bed-table with a huge clatter. Luckily my food hadn't arrived, but the noise by itself was pretty shocking. Leon stormed out of the room.
"God damn it Leon!" Vince said and followed him. I could hear their voices speaking low and fierce outside my room, but I couldn't hear the words they were saying. I just knew the two of them were going at it. Soon it got quiet, and Vince came back in.
******** Leon's POV ******** As I walked out of Sarah's room I heard Vince following on my heels. In the hallway outside her room, I whirled around to face him.
"Are you trying to fuck my girl in the hospital V?" I hissed. "What the fuck were you doing in there?" I yelled at him. Before I could say another word, I found myself shoved against the wall behind me with the front of my shirt balled up in Vince's fists. My jacket, that I had been holding in one hand was knocked to the floor and I brought up my forearm to push him off me, but V. had me bulldog tight.
With his nose less than an inch from mine, he glared into my eyes and growled, "Are you fucking stupid or what Leon? Man, how did you get to be such a fool? That girl in there loves you, and instead of kissing her ass like you should be, you make her feel like shit every fucking time you see her." He stared me down, searching my eyes. I glared back. My blood was boiling and my ears were ringing. One more minute and I figured I was going to explode.
"Damn it Leon! Get a hold of yourself bro! There is nothing bad or wrong going on here. Sarah's a good girl. Don't fuck this up man." Vince glared at me, willing me to listen. I kept glaring. My head was about to blow. In disgust, V. shoved himself away from me and went back to Sarah's room. I stood frozen in place with rage. FUCK! Why is it every time I see Sarah, I do everything wrong?! I always fuck it up!
With a shake, I started back to Sarah's room to apologize and ask her to forgive me for being a jerk. As I approached the open doorway, I heard Sarah's voice, filled with anger and fury saying, "... that I'm closer to you, because you're not a lying, snake-hearted son of a bitch like he is?"
My heart stopped. God, did she really think that of me? Still angry too, I asked myself if I really cared if she did. I had to get out of there. Turning around, I grabbed my jacket off the floor and stormed down the hallway. I heard footsteps and turned around to see Vince half-way out of her room, looking at me with a confused frown, silently asking where I was going. I flipped him off an got on the elevator.
******* Vince's POV *******
"I told you he would get upset or jealous of us." I said shaking my head.
Sarah's voice rose in anger "Jealous of what!? That you're my friend? That I'm closer to you, because you're not a lying, snake-hearted son of a bitch like he is?" Suddenly her face contorted in pain and she grabbed her side with a sharp cry, falling back against her pillows and gasping.
I moved quickly to her bedside and said, "I'll talk to him, OK?"
"Oh for God' sake, don't bother. Let him think what he wants." she said as tears began to form in her eyes. She looked at me with desperation, confusion and sadness in her eyes. Her voice trembled as she asked me, "How can I love and hate him so much at the same time?" She managed to say the words before the crying began. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my arms as she sobbed into my chest, her body trembling as sadness wracked her. I hated Leon at that moment
"You two will work it out. Right now, just work on getting better and healing up, OK?" With a deep sigh she nodded against my chest. "You want me to get him for you?" I asked.
"Please."
I walked out of the doorway, into the hall, just in time to see Leon was already down by the elevators. He turned when he heard my steps and I looked at him, throwing my hands up as if to ask where he was going. Leon shot me an evil look, flipped me off, and got on the elevator. Great. Now I had the job of seeing her heart break again. I stood out in the hallway, taking a few deep breaths to control my fury at one of my best friends; my bro. I walked slowly back into her room. I really hated seeing the look of desperation and disappointment in her eyes when she saw that I had returned without him.
"He's gone."
"What?!"
"He left." She started to cry again, and held her side. I sat down on the bed again and put my arms around her, stroking her back gently to comfort her. She timidly curled her arms around my neck as I held her. Slowly her sobs quieted down and I took her chin in my hands and lifted her face to me.
"Don't worry Sar-" I began, but before I could finish my sentence I felt her lips on mine. I went into shock. Leon's girl was kissing me. Her lips felt tender and soft on mine. Her hand carefully cradled my head as she pressed herself into me. For a second I didn't respond. I froze, not knowing what to do. She kissed me timidly and gently, as if asking permission to be this close to me. I didn't respond, but I didn't push her away either. Slowly as her lips warmed mine, I felt a surge of desire rise in me. Slowly; knowing it was wrong, I returned her kiss. The natural male instincts kicked right in. It was exquisite. I had never kissed anyone that way before -- never been kissed like that by anyone else before either. Sarah parted her lips softly and pressed them into mine again, slowly licking my lips as she kissed them. I felt a desire for her like I hadn't felt for anyone in a long time, and before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped her closer in my embrace.
I pulled her closer and felt the overwhelming need for what I felt she was offering me, and then she suddenly gasped and cried out, pulling back. I jumped back instantly and saw that her face was awash in pain. With another cry, she doubled over.
"Sarah! Are you okay? What's wrong!?"
"I think you squeezed me a little too tight." she whispered.
My thoughts raced. Oh my God! Did that just happen? Jesus, please let me be dreaming! I got up and paced, both hands rubbing my head back and forth, trying to collect my thoughts, and force some sense back into my brain.
"Vince?" I heard her faint whisper, filled with sadness.
I stopped pacing and looked at her. She looked at me sadly and apologetically. "I'm.so.. sorry.I.. just.the moment.. .and you.and.and." She got out before she began sobbing really hard this time. My heart raced in a million directions. I wanted to bolt out of the room like lighting; run as far and as fast away from her as possible, for fear of it happening again. I walked three steps to the door and had the handle in my hand, but I stopped. Sarah's sobbing had quieted down to a ragged breathing.
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to will the memory of our kisses away. Then I heard her breathing go from ragged to uncontrollable. I heard Sarah begin to wheeze and I turned to look at her in alarm. Her face had become white and her lips were beginning to turn blue!
Instantly, I crossed the room to her side and gathered her in my arms again, stroking her cheek and forehead.
"Shhh, Sarah, please.please. You have to calm down. C'mon!. Breathe baby. breathe" I tried to calm her down, but her eyes blanked and began to roll back in her head. Hear gasping was getting worse. her monitors began sounding off alarms left and right. My panic set in as she suddenly went limp in my arms, fainting Within a second her room was flooded with doctors and nurses who began working on her immediately. I was pushed out of the way as Dr. Solomon rushed into the room on the heels of another nurse with a cart covered with gear and paddles. I stood helplessly, watching.
"Bag Her!" "Why can't she breathe?" "Her stitches popped!" "Damn it, get those sutures back in and stitch her back together again NOW!" "BP dropping!" "Pulse?" "Fading fast Doc."
Dr. Solomon and a slew of others worked on Sarah, shouting out words and phrases I didn't recognize until finally the heart monitor went flat-line. The shock of hearing the continuous, high-pitched, unending tone sent an bolt of fear and dread through me.
"CLEAR!" shouted Dr. Solomon as he applied the paddles from the cart to Sarah's chest, and her body jerked up and back down with a jolt. A stethoscope was applied to her chest. "Nothing" "CLEAR!" Another shock, and another leap of her small body. I was pushed out of the room, but I fought the whole way out. I may have accidentally taken out one of the nurses in the process, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to leave Sarah alone.
****** Sarah's POV ****** Where am I? What's going on? I'm dazed, disconnected and confused. I look around and I see that I am still in my hospital room, but everything is so quiet. I can hear Vince's voice calling to me. Why does he sound so far away? I look over my shoulder, and there I am. I'm in my hospital bed, surrounded by nurses and doctors who are trying to start my heart by shocking me back to life. I see Vince fighting with a group of nurses who are pushing him out of the room. He is calling out to me and trying to get back to my bedside. I hear him shouting his apologies for hurting me, calling to me. I want to answer him and tell him it is OK, but then I hear another voice.
I hear it. I hear the voice as sweet as sugar that rings throughout my being. It is a voice that I love; that I haven't heard in years. As I turn to the sweet voice, suddenly everything else is gone. There is nothing else left but me and the beautiful voice that my heart adores. My eyes search frantically, and I see a light -- a light that grows softly and steadily, turning brighter and whiter, taking up more and more of the space before me.
"Go back Baby. Go back Sarah."
"Mom?" I whimper her name as I see her form coalesce out of the warm, glowing light before me. God she is beautiful. I had forgotten how majestic my mother was.
"Go back Sarah. You aren't finished yet darling." Her sweet smile and loving eyes find mine.
"No mom! Please. I want to go with you. Everything is so wrong. It's so bad. I am so lonely. Please mom? Let me stay with you. I miss you so much -- all the time." I call to her, reaching for her.
"Tell them baby. It's time to tell them everything. You must tell them about me and about your pain. It's all right to trust them."
"No! I don't want to ever leave you again! Mama, please take me with you." I beg her.
"But I've never left you Sarah. I am always with you baby. Always in your heart and soul. Always." She moved towards me, smoothly as if floating and I was finally in her embrace again. All of my fears and my worries wash away when I feel my mother's tender and comforting touch again, and smell the familiar, faint scents of baby powder and roses that always surround her.
"I love you mama." I whisper, as she lifts me in her arms and carries me back to my room. She lays me down gently on my body and I felt myself melting back in and becoming anchored once more. I feel heavy and sleepy, and I begin drifting towards unconsciousness again. I hear my mother's sweet voice telling me softly, "Sleep baby. It's all right. His heart is true and he'll never leave you."
I try to push myself back up, to see her; to reach for her arms again.
"Wait! Who? Who won't leave me? What do I do mama? Mama!"
She floats away and blows me a last, soft kiss.
"Always follow your heart Sarah, and listen with your soul. I am always here with you love. Always."
Suddenly the sounds of monitors fill my ears and pain rejoins me in my body again. I feel as though I have been pulled through a tunnel. I feel weak and exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally as well. I hear the doctors and nurses around me in the room and I realize that one of the background murmurs that I can hear, is my own rhythmic heartbeat, broadcasting from one of the monitors.
"She's back with us ladies and gentleman. Good work. Her pulse is a bit weak, but steady. The pulse rate is good. Make sure she stays sutured up. I don't want her losing anymore oxygen." Then I feel myself slipping away, drifting deeper into the welcoming arms of dark, velvet sleep.
The next time I am aware of my surrounding, I don't hear the doctors or nurses anymore. I feel warmth on my face, but I'm still too weak and dazed to open my eyes. Everyone must think I am sleeping or unconscious, but I'm awake -- just not in the normal sense of the word.
"Sarah, I'm so sorry. Don't ever scare me like that again.." It's Vince. The warmth on my cheek is his face pressed gently to mine. I want to hold him and tell him, that this was not his fault. but I can't even manage a whisper, let alone find the strength to open my eyes.
"Leon is on his way. I called him. He's only a minute away, so he'll be here soon. I know why you did it Sarah. I feel the same. mixed up. like you too. but I can't hurt Leon, and I won't hurt you. You are better off with me as your friend, honey. I'm your big brother. I can take of you better that way. I'm horrible boyfriend material. I'm too pushy, too scruffy, too possessive and way to ornery. I promise you, I know this is better." I feel V's lips on my forehead and then my cheek. I feel the warmth of his hand as he takes mine. With all that is going on around me, I am still only able to focus my thoughts on the joy of seeing my mother. She came to me! I was able to see her again! I feel such heartache, and regret that she and I couldn't have stayed together. Tears leak from my eyes beneath my weighted eyelids. I feel Vince carefully dabbing them from my cheeks with his handkerchief again.
"What is it Sarah? Please. I don't think I can bear any more of your tears." V says in a broken whisper.
With all of the strength I have left, I force myself to tell him. My mother said it was okay to trust them, and my mother had never lied to me. She came all that way to tell me it was okay to start breaking down the walls -- my walls that I had so carefully erected.
In this moment, I feel my courage rising up in a wave, like I never have before. I struggle to speak, but can only produce a faint, whispered gurgle. I force the pain down once more, gather my courage and strength again and force my heavy eyes to open. As my head swirls, I am able to see Vince's worried face watching me. I focus all my determination and will and manage to utter one word.
"Mama."
AUTHOR: Daaasl
CHAPTER 23 of many chapters
RATING: R for language, violence and some sex
DISCLAIMER: The characters from TFATF belong to Universal films. No profit is being made from this work, and any copyright infringement is entirely unintentional. All other characters created for this fiction are mine, and should not be used in other materials or websites without my permission.
ARCHIVE: You can find previous chapters at: http://www.realmofvindiesel.homestead.com Anyone else wanting to post my fanfic on their site, please check with me.
FEEDBACK: Please. I like to know what you think. But be gentle and constructive. ======================================= Running by Daaasl
Chapter 23
The last week has been pure hell. My daily routine consists of being poked, prodded, forced to walk around in pain, receiving less and less of my morphine shots, and just today I am beginning my breathing exercises as soon as the rest of the tubes in my side are removed.
I am on a better diet at least. I have graduated to scrambled eggs and toast in the morning, and baked chicken breast and salad for dinner. It's so much better then dry toast and green Jello. The team comes to visit me at least once a day. They spread out their visits so I get to see everyone for about a half hour at a time. Letty and Mia always come together. Letty sneaks me in Starburst candies -- one pack a day, even though I'm not supposed to have the sugar yet. Since I am totally banned from smoking, the Starburst candies help keep me sane.
The girls are great, and they stay the longest. They both help me take a shower everyday, since my arm is still filled with stitches and covered in bandages. Letty holds my arm up and keeps the tubes and monitors out of the way while Mia helps me wash. At first I was embarrassed; not only by them seeing me naked, covered in all my old battle wounds, but because I felt so helpless. Even when Anthony beat me bad, I had never been this helpless before. It's frustrating, but after a while, it just became second nature and I don't mind so much anymore.
"C'mon girl, we can dry you off, and put you in some regular clothes today." Mia said cheerfully as she pulled out some cotton night shirts from a shopping bag.
"You guys have been awesome." I said as she helped the night shirt over my head before helping me back to my bed.
"Here." Letty said as she palmed a Starburst in my hand and gave me a wink.
"Letty! Stop feeding that girl candy!" Mia shouted at Letty. Then we all looked at each other and started laughing. Although I could muster was a giggle, it was still more then I could do a week ago.
"Letty?" I asked.
"Yeah?"
"Could you braid my hair for me? It keeps getting in my way."
She smiled and hopped up on the bed behind me, with her legs on either side. Mia pulled up a chair and began to paint my nails. "No rule saying you can't look good in a hospital, right?"
I just smiled. I was so glad God gave me these two women for my friends. They made me feel so much better about myself. We sat there and talked small talk -- Mia's college classes, Letty wanting to enter a race in a couple of weeks, business at the shop, and guys of course. I noticed how they steered clear of saying or asking anything about Leon, and I can't say that I was unhappy about that. Truth was, I didn't know how to answer any questions they might have had. But there was one thing I needed to find out.
"Have either of you heard anything about my car?!?!?" I asked in hope that it had survived.
Mia started to explain, "We, um - had it towed to the garage to see if we could save it, but ---"
"It was totaled Sarah. I'm sorry." Letty finished quietly, as she combed and parted my damp hair to start braiding it
We were all three silent for a moment. I thought of how much I loved my baby and how much I was going to miss her. I sighed and decided I would have to deal with the issue later.
"You want small braids, or bigger ones?." Letty asked.
"Can you box them for me?"
"Yeah," she said, and started to giggle.
"What?" I asked. What?"
"Nothing bad. I just can't see sweet lil Sarah looking all ghetto with box braids."
"I always wanted them, but Anthony--"
"New rule !" Mia stated loudly and abruptly..
Letty and I jumped in surprise and then looked at her questioningly.
"No more Anthony talk." she said firmly.
"Amen!" Letty hollered behind me. I just grinned at Mia and nodded in agreement
An hour later my hair was done, as well as my nails. Mia was putting away her supplies, when Vince walked in the room.
"Hey ladies." he began and then did a double take and grinned. "Oh My god girl. What did you do to your hair?" My face just lit up as I reached for Vince. He came over and we hugged. I always hold on just a little longer when I'm holding him. The feeling of security is so present when he's around. Every time I see him, I hug him, I just love him so much. He's become a surrogate big brother to me over the last week. And he doesn't seem to mind the role. After we let go, he kissed me on top my head and turned to the girls.
"Well, our work here is done." Mia teased. "We'll see you tomorrow Sarah." she said as we embraced. I hugged Letty and said goodbye, as Vince pulled his chair up next to me.
"I brought you the stuff you asked for." he said handing me a bag. It was filled with magazines, crossword puzzles, and a journal. He also bought me a 12-pack of pens. I held them up and looked at him in question.
"In case these bastards steal them from you. You know how doctors are."
"And how are we?" Dr. Solomon asked as he walked in sporting a big grin.
"Oh.. uh.. not you Doc. You're cool." Vince said as he attempted a quick recovery, but failed.
"Dr. Solomon laughed at Vince and said, "Well, I'm glad you're here. I am taking out the rest of the tubes today, and I could use your help." He walked over to me, putting on his gloves.
"Now Sarah, I'm not going to lie. This is going to hurt. But once the tubing is removed, I can numb your skin up and suture the wounds without further pain , okay?"
I looked over at Vince, pleading with my eyes. Vince smiled and took my hand to reassure me.
"You'll have to take this off." Dr Solomon said pointing at my night shirt. Vince raised his eyebrows at Dr. Solomon and looked uneasy., while Dr. Solomon seemed to be waiting for Vince to leave the room.
Breaking the tension, I laughed and said, "OK. Relax and just help me get out of this shirt V. Brian already told me you saw me topless at the accident." Dr. Solomon just stood there a little dumbfounded, while Vince tucked my blanket around my waist before helping me out of my night shirt. Then he helped as Dr. Solomon rolled me on my right side. Vince leaned in closer to me, so we were at eye level.
"First time I've been in a room with a topless woman and haven't tried to bone her." V said trying to lighten up the mood. The Doctor snorted and I started laughing but then he told me to be still so that he could start removing the tubing.
"V.I'm scared." I whispered as I felt a cool liquid disinfectant being lathered around the tubes and the incisions.
"I'm right here woman. You're gonna be fine. Just think. You won't have to haul all those hoses and wires for monitors with you anymore. It will feel a hell of a lot better once they're out." Vince attempted to smooth my hair, but pulled his hand back and looked disappointed. "Why did you braid your hair?" he asked a little bit grumpy.
"It's always in the way."
"I like it better loose." he said smiling, and stealing a kiss on my forehead before Dr. Solomon announced he was ready to start.
"Ok, now Sarah. When I tell you, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you can please." I nodded and looked at V, who winked at me with encouragement.
"Ok, Sarah." said the doctor. Now please."
I sucked in a deep breath and as soon as I felt the air go into my lungs, I felt a pain tearing through my ribs, right to the center of my chest. I squeezed my eyes tight shut, and clenched V's hand. Underneath the pain so bad that I wanted to scream, I could Vince whispering how it was almost done, and how I was doing really great. When the doctor said OK, I finally let go of the air, and let my tears fall freely onto our hands.
"Excellent Sarah, just once more, then you'll be done." the Doctor said.
"No!" I wailed. "No! I can't! It --. hurts too much!." I said between sobs.
"Hang on and give us a second Doc." V said looking up, before bending back down to me.
"C'mon Sarah. This is the last one. Just once more, ok?" V spoke softly.
No Vince! I won't! It hurts too much!" I snapped at him. Vince frowned and looked at me with menace in his eyes, before he stood up and folded his arms over his chest. He cocked his head to one side and said, "OK then. I'm leaving." and he turned to go.
"V! Don't you dare!." I looked up helplessly.
"Then finish it!" he demanded, stepping back to the chair next to my bed and bending over me again.
I whimpered in frustration, but finally nodded my head and grabbed his hand again, hard.
"God! You females are so stubborn." He squeezed my hand and looked in my eyes. "Ready Doc." he said without breaking his gaze, and then he urged me "Do it Sarah!"
I sucked in another breath and felt the pain again. I could hardly believe how much worse the pain was this time and I cried out, "Oh shit! Stop!". And suddenly it did. I gasped, letting the tears pour and sobbed in relief. From somewhere, Vince produced a clean handkerchief and dabbed my cheeks and eyes while comforting me and telling me I was a good girl. My tears slowed and then stopped as the pain receded.
"All done Sarah. That's was the last one. So I'm numbing your skin around the incisions now, and in a couple of minutes, I'll be able to suture you up and you'll be ok." I heard Dr. Solomon say, as sniffed and blew my nose, and then looked over at V.
He had a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Why the hell are you so cheerful and smug?" I asked grumpily.
"Because I knew you would do it." he said and patted my cheek. I wrinkled up my nose at him and made a face, but I couldn't keep from smiling in amusement at his satisfaction in a job well done.
Soon Dr. Solomon was done and Vince helped me turn onto my back. I was so wiped out, and tired from the whole ordeal that I didn't hear the door to my room open. As I slid my arm back into one of the sleeves of my night shirt, I felt Vince pull my blankets up over me, tucking them in. "Hey Dawg." I heard him say nervously. Looking up, I saw Leon standing in the doorway, with a furious look on his face. He was as mad as hell. Great. Just what I needed was for Leon to go off the deep end again with his temper.
"What the fuck is going on here V?!" he shouted. I clutched my blankets and rolled my eyes at Vince as Leon stormed towards us.
"Sarah got the last of the other tubes out just now, and I helped out the Doc." Vince. said, defending himself.
"Is that why she ain't got no fucking clothes on?!" Leon shouted. I winced at the tone in his voice but stayed cool and calm as I told him "Maybe if you had been the one here when the doctor decided to take them out, you could have helped me Leon, but it was Vince who was here so the doctor had him help instead. Then I added in exasperation, "God! Knock off all the machismo bullshit already, will ya?" I said as I got my arm through the other sleeve of my night shirt and began to button back up under the covers.
"Bullshit!" Leon shouted, and flipped over my bed-table with a huge clatter. Luckily my food hadn't arrived, but the noise by itself was pretty shocking. Leon stormed out of the room.
"God damn it Leon!" Vince said and followed him. I could hear their voices speaking low and fierce outside my room, but I couldn't hear the words they were saying. I just knew the two of them were going at it. Soon it got quiet, and Vince came back in.
******** Leon's POV ******** As I walked out of Sarah's room I heard Vince following on my heels. In the hallway outside her room, I whirled around to face him.
"Are you trying to fuck my girl in the hospital V?" I hissed. "What the fuck were you doing in there?" I yelled at him. Before I could say another word, I found myself shoved against the wall behind me with the front of my shirt balled up in Vince's fists. My jacket, that I had been holding in one hand was knocked to the floor and I brought up my forearm to push him off me, but V. had me bulldog tight.
With his nose less than an inch from mine, he glared into my eyes and growled, "Are you fucking stupid or what Leon? Man, how did you get to be such a fool? That girl in there loves you, and instead of kissing her ass like you should be, you make her feel like shit every fucking time you see her." He stared me down, searching my eyes. I glared back. My blood was boiling and my ears were ringing. One more minute and I figured I was going to explode.
"Damn it Leon! Get a hold of yourself bro! There is nothing bad or wrong going on here. Sarah's a good girl. Don't fuck this up man." Vince glared at me, willing me to listen. I kept glaring. My head was about to blow. In disgust, V. shoved himself away from me and went back to Sarah's room. I stood frozen in place with rage. FUCK! Why is it every time I see Sarah, I do everything wrong?! I always fuck it up!
With a shake, I started back to Sarah's room to apologize and ask her to forgive me for being a jerk. As I approached the open doorway, I heard Sarah's voice, filled with anger and fury saying, "... that I'm closer to you, because you're not a lying, snake-hearted son of a bitch like he is?"
My heart stopped. God, did she really think that of me? Still angry too, I asked myself if I really cared if she did. I had to get out of there. Turning around, I grabbed my jacket off the floor and stormed down the hallway. I heard footsteps and turned around to see Vince half-way out of her room, looking at me with a confused frown, silently asking where I was going. I flipped him off an got on the elevator.
******* Vince's POV *******
"I told you he would get upset or jealous of us." I said shaking my head.
Sarah's voice rose in anger "Jealous of what!? That you're my friend? That I'm closer to you, because you're not a lying, snake-hearted son of a bitch like he is?" Suddenly her face contorted in pain and she grabbed her side with a sharp cry, falling back against her pillows and gasping.
I moved quickly to her bedside and said, "I'll talk to him, OK?"
"Oh for God' sake, don't bother. Let him think what he wants." she said as tears began to form in her eyes. She looked at me with desperation, confusion and sadness in her eyes. Her voice trembled as she asked me, "How can I love and hate him so much at the same time?" She managed to say the words before the crying began. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my arms as she sobbed into my chest, her body trembling as sadness wracked her. I hated Leon at that moment
"You two will work it out. Right now, just work on getting better and healing up, OK?" With a deep sigh she nodded against my chest. "You want me to get him for you?" I asked.
"Please."
I walked out of the doorway, into the hall, just in time to see Leon was already down by the elevators. He turned when he heard my steps and I looked at him, throwing my hands up as if to ask where he was going. Leon shot me an evil look, flipped me off, and got on the elevator. Great. Now I had the job of seeing her heart break again. I stood out in the hallway, taking a few deep breaths to control my fury at one of my best friends; my bro. I walked slowly back into her room. I really hated seeing the look of desperation and disappointment in her eyes when she saw that I had returned without him.
"He's gone."
"What?!"
"He left." She started to cry again, and held her side. I sat down on the bed again and put my arms around her, stroking her back gently to comfort her. She timidly curled her arms around my neck as I held her. Slowly her sobs quieted down and I took her chin in my hands and lifted her face to me.
"Don't worry Sar-" I began, but before I could finish my sentence I felt her lips on mine. I went into shock. Leon's girl was kissing me. Her lips felt tender and soft on mine. Her hand carefully cradled my head as she pressed herself into me. For a second I didn't respond. I froze, not knowing what to do. She kissed me timidly and gently, as if asking permission to be this close to me. I didn't respond, but I didn't push her away either. Slowly as her lips warmed mine, I felt a surge of desire rise in me. Slowly; knowing it was wrong, I returned her kiss. The natural male instincts kicked right in. It was exquisite. I had never kissed anyone that way before -- never been kissed like that by anyone else before either. Sarah parted her lips softly and pressed them into mine again, slowly licking my lips as she kissed them. I felt a desire for her like I hadn't felt for anyone in a long time, and before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped her closer in my embrace.
I pulled her closer and felt the overwhelming need for what I felt she was offering me, and then she suddenly gasped and cried out, pulling back. I jumped back instantly and saw that her face was awash in pain. With another cry, she doubled over.
"Sarah! Are you okay? What's wrong!?"
"I think you squeezed me a little too tight." she whispered.
My thoughts raced. Oh my God! Did that just happen? Jesus, please let me be dreaming! I got up and paced, both hands rubbing my head back and forth, trying to collect my thoughts, and force some sense back into my brain.
"Vince?" I heard her faint whisper, filled with sadness.
I stopped pacing and looked at her. She looked at me sadly and apologetically. "I'm.so.. sorry.I.. just.the moment.. .and you.and.and." She got out before she began sobbing really hard this time. My heart raced in a million directions. I wanted to bolt out of the room like lighting; run as far and as fast away from her as possible, for fear of it happening again. I walked three steps to the door and had the handle in my hand, but I stopped. Sarah's sobbing had quieted down to a ragged breathing.
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to will the memory of our kisses away. Then I heard her breathing go from ragged to uncontrollable. I heard Sarah begin to wheeze and I turned to look at her in alarm. Her face had become white and her lips were beginning to turn blue!
Instantly, I crossed the room to her side and gathered her in my arms again, stroking her cheek and forehead.
"Shhh, Sarah, please.please. You have to calm down. C'mon!. Breathe baby. breathe" I tried to calm her down, but her eyes blanked and began to roll back in her head. Hear gasping was getting worse. her monitors began sounding off alarms left and right. My panic set in as she suddenly went limp in my arms, fainting Within a second her room was flooded with doctors and nurses who began working on her immediately. I was pushed out of the way as Dr. Solomon rushed into the room on the heels of another nurse with a cart covered with gear and paddles. I stood helplessly, watching.
"Bag Her!" "Why can't she breathe?" "Her stitches popped!" "Damn it, get those sutures back in and stitch her back together again NOW!" "BP dropping!" "Pulse?" "Fading fast Doc."
Dr. Solomon and a slew of others worked on Sarah, shouting out words and phrases I didn't recognize until finally the heart monitor went flat-line. The shock of hearing the continuous, high-pitched, unending tone sent an bolt of fear and dread through me.
"CLEAR!" shouted Dr. Solomon as he applied the paddles from the cart to Sarah's chest, and her body jerked up and back down with a jolt. A stethoscope was applied to her chest. "Nothing" "CLEAR!" Another shock, and another leap of her small body. I was pushed out of the room, but I fought the whole way out. I may have accidentally taken out one of the nurses in the process, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to leave Sarah alone.
****** Sarah's POV ****** Where am I? What's going on? I'm dazed, disconnected and confused. I look around and I see that I am still in my hospital room, but everything is so quiet. I can hear Vince's voice calling to me. Why does he sound so far away? I look over my shoulder, and there I am. I'm in my hospital bed, surrounded by nurses and doctors who are trying to start my heart by shocking me back to life. I see Vince fighting with a group of nurses who are pushing him out of the room. He is calling out to me and trying to get back to my bedside. I hear him shouting his apologies for hurting me, calling to me. I want to answer him and tell him it is OK, but then I hear another voice.
I hear it. I hear the voice as sweet as sugar that rings throughout my being. It is a voice that I love; that I haven't heard in years. As I turn to the sweet voice, suddenly everything else is gone. There is nothing else left but me and the beautiful voice that my heart adores. My eyes search frantically, and I see a light -- a light that grows softly and steadily, turning brighter and whiter, taking up more and more of the space before me.
"Go back Baby. Go back Sarah."
"Mom?" I whimper her name as I see her form coalesce out of the warm, glowing light before me. God she is beautiful. I had forgotten how majestic my mother was.
"Go back Sarah. You aren't finished yet darling." Her sweet smile and loving eyes find mine.
"No mom! Please. I want to go with you. Everything is so wrong. It's so bad. I am so lonely. Please mom? Let me stay with you. I miss you so much -- all the time." I call to her, reaching for her.
"Tell them baby. It's time to tell them everything. You must tell them about me and about your pain. It's all right to trust them."
"No! I don't want to ever leave you again! Mama, please take me with you." I beg her.
"But I've never left you Sarah. I am always with you baby. Always in your heart and soul. Always." She moved towards me, smoothly as if floating and I was finally in her embrace again. All of my fears and my worries wash away when I feel my mother's tender and comforting touch again, and smell the familiar, faint scents of baby powder and roses that always surround her.
"I love you mama." I whisper, as she lifts me in her arms and carries me back to my room. She lays me down gently on my body and I felt myself melting back in and becoming anchored once more. I feel heavy and sleepy, and I begin drifting towards unconsciousness again. I hear my mother's sweet voice telling me softly, "Sleep baby. It's all right. His heart is true and he'll never leave you."
I try to push myself back up, to see her; to reach for her arms again.
"Wait! Who? Who won't leave me? What do I do mama? Mama!"
She floats away and blows me a last, soft kiss.
"Always follow your heart Sarah, and listen with your soul. I am always here with you love. Always."
Suddenly the sounds of monitors fill my ears and pain rejoins me in my body again. I feel as though I have been pulled through a tunnel. I feel weak and exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally as well. I hear the doctors and nurses around me in the room and I realize that one of the background murmurs that I can hear, is my own rhythmic heartbeat, broadcasting from one of the monitors.
"She's back with us ladies and gentleman. Good work. Her pulse is a bit weak, but steady. The pulse rate is good. Make sure she stays sutured up. I don't want her losing anymore oxygen." Then I feel myself slipping away, drifting deeper into the welcoming arms of dark, velvet sleep.
The next time I am aware of my surrounding, I don't hear the doctors or nurses anymore. I feel warmth on my face, but I'm still too weak and dazed to open my eyes. Everyone must think I am sleeping or unconscious, but I'm awake -- just not in the normal sense of the word.
"Sarah, I'm so sorry. Don't ever scare me like that again.." It's Vince. The warmth on my cheek is his face pressed gently to mine. I want to hold him and tell him, that this was not his fault. but I can't even manage a whisper, let alone find the strength to open my eyes.
"Leon is on his way. I called him. He's only a minute away, so he'll be here soon. I know why you did it Sarah. I feel the same. mixed up. like you too. but I can't hurt Leon, and I won't hurt you. You are better off with me as your friend, honey. I'm your big brother. I can take of you better that way. I'm horrible boyfriend material. I'm too pushy, too scruffy, too possessive and way to ornery. I promise you, I know this is better." I feel V's lips on my forehead and then my cheek. I feel the warmth of his hand as he takes mine. With all that is going on around me, I am still only able to focus my thoughts on the joy of seeing my mother. She came to me! I was able to see her again! I feel such heartache, and regret that she and I couldn't have stayed together. Tears leak from my eyes beneath my weighted eyelids. I feel Vince carefully dabbing them from my cheeks with his handkerchief again.
"What is it Sarah? Please. I don't think I can bear any more of your tears." V says in a broken whisper.
With all of the strength I have left, I force myself to tell him. My mother said it was okay to trust them, and my mother had never lied to me. She came all that way to tell me it was okay to start breaking down the walls -- my walls that I had so carefully erected.
In this moment, I feel my courage rising up in a wave, like I never have before. I struggle to speak, but can only produce a faint, whispered gurgle. I force the pain down once more, gather my courage and strength again and force my heavy eyes to open. As my head swirls, I am able to see Vince's worried face watching me. I focus all my determination and will and manage to utter one word.
"Mama."