Hey! It's me again! This fic has nothing to do-okay, almost nothing to do with my other one, Collateral Damage. I just had this idea the other day in science class. Anyway, this is set in Irk's future and contains maybe... oh, one little tinny spoiler for one part of my later fics. It's not that obvious though... so, without further ado, my fic dedicated to the two genetic freaks of the galaxy, The Almighty Tallest!
(Jendai: What about me?)
(AF: Aww, ya know I luv you too 'Dai! [huggles him])
(Zim: Hey!)
(AF: I luv you both!)
(Irkens: Ok)
Jade Eyes
"And in conclusion... um... in conclusion... Lazers!"
Annoyed, Purple slammed the electronic pen down on the table separating them. "I don't see why I bother helping you if all you're ever going to say is 'lazers'," he growled. He glared over at the Soldier Tallest. "This is supposed to be about the changes we're making over the rule of the planets Invaders have conquered. NOT about lazers."
"Aw, c'mon Pur," Red groaned, shooting a bored look over his shoulder. He was reclined in his chair, feet propped up against the wall of the meeting room the two had locked themselves in until their speech was done. The duo had originally assumed it would take about an hour, but at the rate they were going, the thing wouldn't be finished in time for anything. "They're Invaders, all Invaders like lazers. It's just your Class that agrees with you."
"Yes, and my Class accounts for over half of Irk's population." Purple sighed, picking the pen back up. He tapped it against the data pad, frowning in concentration. "Maybe we should just leave this to the shorter things."
Red spun around in his chair, facing Purple for the first time in five hours. "I don't see why you agreed to write this on our own in the first place," he grumbled. "It's so much easier when shorties do it." He stood up, waiting for Purple to join him. "I'm bored, let's go."
This produced a chuckle from the other Tallest. "You mean you weren't bored the minute we came in here?" he chided. Red rolled his eyes, exiting the room. Purple grinned to himself, knowing Red would wait for him before heading up to the top floor of the complex. Alone for the moment, he set the pad down, thinking. One hand involuntarily hovered over his chest, coming to rest where the "scar" of an old wound lay beneath the armor. He let it sit there for a moment before forcing it away. Even after all these years... Abruptly, Purple got out of the chair, deciding to leave before this dark mood enveloped him for the rest of the day. He seriously needed to learn to relax. Maybe he could take lessons from Red, he thought to himself, grinning again. Let everyone else worry about the little things, he was Almighty Tallest and had far more important things to worry about.
Such as what they were going to do about Zim. Or, rather, Emperor Zim, as the midget had named himself. By the first Tallest, how were they going to figure this one out? It seemed impossible that he'd actually succeeded in the "secret mission" they'd given him all those years ago. He even still believed that it HAD been a true mission, and Purple couldn't bring himself to let Red spill the truth. Yet, the shortest Irken Invader had managed to do something right for once and then gone and named himself Emperor. That was the whole reason they'd come up with the new rules. They couldn't have random Invaders deciding that they wanted to rule their conquered planets. It was only through a special, and very private, transmission from a certain someone that Zim was able to rule his planet, acting as a sort of go-between for the Tallest and the humans. "Are you gonna come or what?" Red called, sticking his head back in.
"Yeah, I just got distracted." Purple left the pad where it was; someone would pick it up later. "You getting sodas?"
The red-eyed Tallest nodded happily. "Yep, want one?"
They boarded the elevator. "As long as it's caffienated, sure," he laughed. "None of that weird stuff you like drinking though."
"Hey, what's wrong with it?" Red asked, feigning complete innocence. "It's just-"
"Thick, chunky and gross," Purple finished, narrowing his eyes. He stuck out his thin tongue at the other Tallest. "Makes me sick."
Red shrugged. "Not my fault your squeedly-spooch isn't as tough as mine."
"You killed slaughtering rat people for five years. I read books about killing the slaughtering rat people for five years."
"My point exactly."
"Wow, you actually have a point?"
This was the usual flow of conversation between them. Sometimes serious, then flowing into more pleasant topics followed by cheerful banter and a few playful insults. Red tended to have that effect on other Irkens. Unless he was the one who was upset, you could never stay totally depressed or angry around him. When you were angry, he threatened the guilty party with one of his various lazers or with time in prison-jokingly of course. If you were depressed, the rather inept side of his personality usually surfaced, causing him to do something stupid or show off. The duo had been working together for many years now, and knew the other's facets well, as did everyone who worked for them. Red was the brash, loud Soldier who had hardly a care in the world, other than what was going to happen in the next hour, and Purple was the more or less meek and reclusive Student with too much on his mind.
"I was thinking maybe I should show you some more moves later," the Soldier said, half to himself. "It's about time that 'big' brain of yours figured out at least how to hold a lazer without shooting yourself in the eye." The crimson eyes focused on violet ones. "You practiced lately?"
Purple grinned in embarrassment. "Nope," he muttered. "Been too busy dealing with my Class, trying to avoid another Uprising incident."
"Irk, that was a mess," agreed Red. "Glad we came up with that plan." He chuckled as the elevator signaled that they'd arrived on their private floor. "I can still remember those shorties' faces when we told them the new laws." They stepped off, onto their floor, Red heading left, Purple to the right. "I'll bring you a drink in a few, Pur," the Soldier called. "I got some stuff to do."
"You're on a roll today, Red," Purple laughed. "First a point to what you're saying and now you have actual things to do!" His voice faded as he entered his own chambers, probably locking the door behind him.
"Paranoid," Red muttered to himself, ducking into his rooms. They were, for the most part, an exact duplicate of the Student Tallest's. But, red where his was purple and with racks of assorted weapons in place of shelves of real or electronic books. He was tired. The cause of his weariness was unknown. Maybe the work from today's session with Purple had worn his brain out. He honestly wasn't used to writing speeches. "Soldiers aren't good speakers," Red mused, staring at his collection of ancient weapons. His favorites were the long staffs with blades attached to one end. The other branched out into twin prongs with razor-sharp, serrated edges-perfect for ripping an enemy in two. He was an expert in their use and practiced with them in the sparring room every spare moment. Purple had given some name to them in the ancient Irken language, something starting with "ba" or "bec."
Carefully, he took down the one he treasured the most, enjoying the smoothness of the shaft in his fingers. The main shaft was a deep brown that held almost a reddish tone when the correct light was held to it. Intricate carvings ran up and down its length, probably depicting glorious Irken victories. Its blade and serrations were gilded, reflecting light like a mirror. If they had been pure gold, the value of the weapon would not have been as great. They were, in fact, painted to enhance its elegance and made of one of the stronger metals at the time. Running a careful, Soldier-trained, eye across it, he noted the dull quality of the material. There was polish in his bedroom. Resting the staff across his shoulders, Red carried it off. Polishing was almost as relaxing as the thing he'd intended to do-which was to take a nap. The methodical, rhythmic strokes calmed you in a way nothing else could. He hummed a battle mantra on the way, antennae twitching along with the imagined beat working its way through his head. He marched smartly, instead of hovering, as a Tallest should. No one was around to see him, so why waste the power cells?
Personally, he was glad they'd brought the Armada back to Irk for a few years to recuperate the fleets. All the Invaders who hadn't conquered their planets yet wouldn't need it for a while anyway, and those who had were either lording over them or had returned to Irk already. It was good to be back. Just because he was a Soldier didn't mean he enjoyed campaigning. Oddly enough, Purple acted like he preferred it more than Red did. That was probably because he had never traveled off Irk as a Student, before he became Tallest.
Red ducked into his bedroom, looking around for where he kept the polish. It was always in a different place. With utmost care, he laid the staff on the bed, both to get it out of the way and not to damage it. "Oh, there it is!" he said, unsure of why he was talking to himself. The bottle of polish sat on one of the bedside tables, probably from last night's use. He took a step forward and unexpectedly tripped over something lying in his path. The Tallest unceremoniously fell flat on his face, grunting with surprise. A soft giggle startled him further. Red's antennae flicked inwards as he pushed himself up, looking around him. He was alone. "Who's there?" he demanded, fingers going for the lazers hidden in each wrist guard.
"Tall boomy!" the same quiet, almost babyish voice called out. It giggled again. "Boomy!"
His antennae twitched, looking for the source of the sound. It was behind him. The giggling continued. "Sounds like a kid," Red murmured to himself, and twisted around. Something ducked back under the bed. "Ah-hah!" he cheered, diving after it. "Come back here you... little thing!" Unfortunately, he wasn't prepared for what his fingers returned with. His eyes widened in astonishment; jaw dropping. "What the...?"
A baby Irken squirmed in his grasp. A baby, female Irken. About ten inches tall, probably only a day old, and without a back pod. She wore a small scarp of cloth instead of the Hatchery-issue clothing babies were given the moment they "hatched." Each antenna curled delicately away from her face, as did her black eyelashes. Her eyes were green, bright, beautiful green. She had ceased giggling and was trying to loosen Red's firm grip on her tiny body. There was no way she was Soldier-born; no Soldier had green eyes. That also explained her attitude. The two stared each other in the eye for a moment, then she bit his finger. "OW!" Red yelped, switching hands to suck on the injured finger. He glared at her. Then finally made a decision. "PUR!" he yelled, storming out to find the other Tallest. "PURPLE!"
The Student Tallest jumped. Irk, Red's voice could carry. He'd been sitting in a chair beside his window wall, innocently reading about how one should hold a lazer when he'd heard the Soldier bellowing his name, followed by a stream of obscenities that could only be described as "unprintable." He turned the chair around to face the door, trying to keep his antennae from twitching backwards. Red wouldn't, knowingly anyway, do anything to harm him. Unfortunately, the Student couldn't tell whether the Soldier was in a rational-angry or an insane-angry mood at the moment. He hoped it was the former. Nervously, he fingered the shielding button on his wrist guard. "What on Irk is this!?" was the first thing he heard as Red stormed in, holding a wriggling something aloft. His eyes were dark, holding an angry glint but lacking the crazed luster. "It bit me!"
"Bring it here and let me see," Purple said smoothly, trying to keep a calm, placating tone to his words.
Red grudgingly marched forward, holding the thing at arm's length. "Here," he growled, dropping the thing into Purple's lap. The Student let out a yelp of surprise, recoiling while Red snickered at his actions. "Tall," the thing said in awe, looking up at them both with its green eyes. "Tall!"
"Where did you get her...?" the Student asked softly, staring at the tiny Irken female. He looked her over in shock, letting her grip his long fingers to spin around. "By the First Tallest! She doesn't even have a back pod..." Purple chewed his lower lip, one of his little bad habits created out of nervousness. "How can she be alive?" The little female giggled, refusing to release her hold on him. Purple would have smiled if he hadn't been so unnerved.
"My guess is either she was a reject who got zapped by mistake and someone wanted to dump her, or..." He shrugged. "I forget the other one. How do you think she got up here in the first place?" Red's anger seemed to have cooled for the most part. He approached the chair to play with the female's tiny antennae.
"I have no idea. This is supposed to be the maximum security level." Red groaned inwardly. Purple's paranoia about security was going to double if he didn't think up a normal-sounding solution. "Maybe one of the cleaning crew found her somewhere and lost her," he suggested, trying to sound sincere. "I could uh, go check with them if you want, Pur..."
Purple nodded. "And see if any of the Student Hatcheries on Irk are missing an infant," he added. "And if not, check and see if they're willing to take on an extra."
Instead of whining, Red just nodded. "Sure thing. You gonna be all right with her for a while?"
"Yeah, I like little short things hanging off my fingers."
At least he had his sense of humor back, Red thought to himself, leaving. It was going to take a good portion of the evening, and probably most of the night as well. He didn't care. Soldiers could live without one night of sleep. He chuckled to himself as the door slid closed behind him. "Have fun, Pur."
The little female refused to let go of his fingers. "Come on," Purple muttered, trying to pry her off. "I'm a busy Tallest! I have stuff to do." She only giggled and squeezed tighter. He had to admit, she was cute. "How on Irk did you get in here?" he wondered aloud. "Did someone want us to find you? Irk knows we're too busy-er, at least usually too busy for someone like you. First Tallest, we don't even have anything that can teach you... or a pod for you. Blast it, let go of my fingers!" He tried shaking her off, but she only let out a squeal of delight.
"Tall!" she cheered. That seemed to be all she could say. Normally, Student infants were implanted with the knowledge of speech and the basics. Their skills were learned later on in life, which ones they learned depending on the talents they showed in various tests. Obviously, this female hadn't even learned how to speak properly. Why she was even alive was a mystery to him. "Purple," he said, gesturing to himself with a free hand. "Tall-est Purple."
"Puwple..." she copied. "Purple! Tall-est Purrrrple!" Her grip on his fingers released and she tumbled to the floor, giggling over the new words. "Tall tallest Purple!" the female said, pointing at him.
"Er... yeah, that's the general idea of being Tallest..." He reached into one of his waistbands, digging around for something. Irk knew how Red managed to keep sandwiches in there. His eye brightened as his fingers closed around the object he'd been searching for. "Here," he said, tossing the little rubber ball to her. Her eyes widened, if that was even possible. She laughed happily, bouncing it on the thick carpeting. Purple left her alone, he had some... Student things to do. Chewing his lip again, he pulled a thick volume from one of the shelves, scanning the title before hovering higher to select another of the same content. Maybe the ancients could give him some ideas for how to handle the situation? He came down to hover only an inch above the floor, deciding to translate the texts in the privacy of his room. Sure, he could have just used an instant electronic translator, but that defeated the purpose of being a scholar. "Hope I haven't forgotten too much..." he muttered, leaving the main room. The books were heavy in his hands. A small tug on the traditional Tallest skirt made him look down, curious. The little female was clinging to the fabric, her green eyes scared. "Oh for the love of..." Purple sighed. "Come on then." Shifting his books to one hand, he let her grab his fingers, pulling her up to give her a ride on his armor-plated shoulder.
He smiled at her coos of delight at his room. She squeaked, grabbing his face to show him something. "Oh, so you like that thing huh?" he laughed. The object of her attention was a stringed instrument in the corner of his room. It was metal, shaped like an open book with a hollow pedestal at the bottom. The right side had strings running vertically, while the left's ran horizontally. Inside the pedestal were small chimes one tapped with one's foot to produce the rhythm. It was rather difficult to play, but when you mastered it, the music produced was some of the most beautiful on Irk. Purple was good at it, although nowhere near mastering the thing. The ancients called it a ti-aten. He set the books down on his bed and moved over to the ti-aten player's chair. The female slid from his shoulder to his lap, watching in wonder. Very slowly, Purple brushed his foot against the largest of the chimes, producing low, steady notes. His right hand went to work over the vertical strings, left joining after a minute of faulty chords. It was a soft, pleasing song, almost like a lullaby. The female's eyelids began to close. Purple chewed his lip in concentration, fingers gliding over the strings. Normal Irken musicians had six fingers to work with; Tallests had only four. It was difficult. As he continued, the imperfect chords became fewer and fewer, the right ones emerging through, pure and sweet. When he looked down, the female was asleep, one of her fingers in her mouth. He stopped playing, flexing his fingers. Maybe he could read in peace out in the main room now. Judging by the time, there would be some moonlight if at least one of Irk's moons were full.
Purple picked her up once again, careful not to disturb her. The smaller volume was collected also. Once in the main room, he stretched out on the couch, letting the little female sleep on his chest while he balanced the book on his knees. "Lights," he murmured. "Dim." The voice-activated system responded, giving him enough light to read by, but enough dark to sleep by. He felt relaxed now, the stress of the day dissipating as he became absorbed in the book. The little female sighed, cuddling under his chin. Purple jumped slightly at the gentle touch. He wasn't used to this. /This must be what it's like to have a student to teach,/ he thought, smiling. Almost every member of the Student Class was paired with an Irken child to teach his or her skills to. Purple had been too young to be assigned a student when he'd become Tallest. He couldn't help thinking he'd missed out on something great, something he should have been able to experience. Hesitantly, he brushed one of her delicate antennae with a fingertip. The female sighed blissfully in her sleep. She was so small, so innocent...
"I think I'll call you Ivy," Purple said quietly. "Can't keep calling you female." He was silent for a while, watching her sleep. "I'm going to take you as my student..." he decided, still playing with her antennae. He was starting to feel sleepy. "And if Red doesn't like it... he can shove it up his green ass..."
"No one's missing any-" Red started, then stopped as he noticed the Irkens on the couch. The other Tallest was asleep, a book open across his knees, his hands splayed over it like he had been reading. The little female had curled up under his chin, also asleep. Red groaned. He should have foreseen this coming. There was an old saying among Soldiers. "Leave a Student with a baby and he'll have adopted it before you can blink," he growled. Once he'd heard that no one was missing a baby or wanted another, he'd made mental plans to launch the reject into an asteroid or dispose of it some other way. But now...
He approached Purple's couch, leaning over it to watch the Student Tallest. For the first time in a long while, Purple looked peaceful, unconcerned with the world and the troubles that plagued a Tallest. Maybe letting him have this kid as a student would be good for him. Irk knew that if he didn't stop worrying, he'd die long before his time. "Can't have that," he muttered. "I'd be chased with sticks or something."
Purple's antennae twitched at the familiar voice. His lavender eyes flicked open, bleary with sleep, then clearing before focusing on Red's face. He yawned, stretching out his legs. "Long night?" he asked.
"No Hatchery is missing anything. And no Nursery or Academy wants to take on another short thing," Red told him. "Sure, they will if we order them to, but then there'd be chaos." The Soldier grinned roguishly. "I see you have a friend."
The Student's face blushed a dark green. He opened his mouth to explain, but Red cut him off. "I know you wanna keep her, Pur," he said. "And... I guess it'd be all right. I mean, you are a Student and by Irken laws you should get to teach someone something or other." Now it was Red's turn to blush. "I guess she is kinda cute. Looks like she's gonna be tall too. It'd be a shame to waste all that height on books and stuff like that..."
Purple laughed. "You can train her if you want. I think she'd benefit from being a mix of the two Classes. Maybe she could be a way to keep my Class from killing yours."
"Hah, not much chance of that." Red reached down and gently twirled one of the female's antennae around his finger. "Named her?"
"Ivy."
"Good name." Red grinned at the sleeping Irken child. "She's got a big job ahead of her."
"And that would be...?" Purple squinted an eye at the other Tallest.
"Keeping you from driving me insane."
Ivy purred in her sleep, ignoring the two Almighty Tallest plan the rest of her life.
(Okay, so that was kinda fluffy. I got this idea in biology and it begged to be written. I'm only doing this because I have writer's block. Reviews will help me buy a sledgehammer to destroy the evil block that keeps me from finishing Collateral Damage.)
(Jendai: What about me?)
(AF: Aww, ya know I luv you too 'Dai! [huggles him])
(Zim: Hey!)
(AF: I luv you both!)
(Irkens: Ok)
Jade Eyes
"And in conclusion... um... in conclusion... Lazers!"
Annoyed, Purple slammed the electronic pen down on the table separating them. "I don't see why I bother helping you if all you're ever going to say is 'lazers'," he growled. He glared over at the Soldier Tallest. "This is supposed to be about the changes we're making over the rule of the planets Invaders have conquered. NOT about lazers."
"Aw, c'mon Pur," Red groaned, shooting a bored look over his shoulder. He was reclined in his chair, feet propped up against the wall of the meeting room the two had locked themselves in until their speech was done. The duo had originally assumed it would take about an hour, but at the rate they were going, the thing wouldn't be finished in time for anything. "They're Invaders, all Invaders like lazers. It's just your Class that agrees with you."
"Yes, and my Class accounts for over half of Irk's population." Purple sighed, picking the pen back up. He tapped it against the data pad, frowning in concentration. "Maybe we should just leave this to the shorter things."
Red spun around in his chair, facing Purple for the first time in five hours. "I don't see why you agreed to write this on our own in the first place," he grumbled. "It's so much easier when shorties do it." He stood up, waiting for Purple to join him. "I'm bored, let's go."
This produced a chuckle from the other Tallest. "You mean you weren't bored the minute we came in here?" he chided. Red rolled his eyes, exiting the room. Purple grinned to himself, knowing Red would wait for him before heading up to the top floor of the complex. Alone for the moment, he set the pad down, thinking. One hand involuntarily hovered over his chest, coming to rest where the "scar" of an old wound lay beneath the armor. He let it sit there for a moment before forcing it away. Even after all these years... Abruptly, Purple got out of the chair, deciding to leave before this dark mood enveloped him for the rest of the day. He seriously needed to learn to relax. Maybe he could take lessons from Red, he thought to himself, grinning again. Let everyone else worry about the little things, he was Almighty Tallest and had far more important things to worry about.
Such as what they were going to do about Zim. Or, rather, Emperor Zim, as the midget had named himself. By the first Tallest, how were they going to figure this one out? It seemed impossible that he'd actually succeeded in the "secret mission" they'd given him all those years ago. He even still believed that it HAD been a true mission, and Purple couldn't bring himself to let Red spill the truth. Yet, the shortest Irken Invader had managed to do something right for once and then gone and named himself Emperor. That was the whole reason they'd come up with the new rules. They couldn't have random Invaders deciding that they wanted to rule their conquered planets. It was only through a special, and very private, transmission from a certain someone that Zim was able to rule his planet, acting as a sort of go-between for the Tallest and the humans. "Are you gonna come or what?" Red called, sticking his head back in.
"Yeah, I just got distracted." Purple left the pad where it was; someone would pick it up later. "You getting sodas?"
The red-eyed Tallest nodded happily. "Yep, want one?"
They boarded the elevator. "As long as it's caffienated, sure," he laughed. "None of that weird stuff you like drinking though."
"Hey, what's wrong with it?" Red asked, feigning complete innocence. "It's just-"
"Thick, chunky and gross," Purple finished, narrowing his eyes. He stuck out his thin tongue at the other Tallest. "Makes me sick."
Red shrugged. "Not my fault your squeedly-spooch isn't as tough as mine."
"You killed slaughtering rat people for five years. I read books about killing the slaughtering rat people for five years."
"My point exactly."
"Wow, you actually have a point?"
This was the usual flow of conversation between them. Sometimes serious, then flowing into more pleasant topics followed by cheerful banter and a few playful insults. Red tended to have that effect on other Irkens. Unless he was the one who was upset, you could never stay totally depressed or angry around him. When you were angry, he threatened the guilty party with one of his various lazers or with time in prison-jokingly of course. If you were depressed, the rather inept side of his personality usually surfaced, causing him to do something stupid or show off. The duo had been working together for many years now, and knew the other's facets well, as did everyone who worked for them. Red was the brash, loud Soldier who had hardly a care in the world, other than what was going to happen in the next hour, and Purple was the more or less meek and reclusive Student with too much on his mind.
"I was thinking maybe I should show you some more moves later," the Soldier said, half to himself. "It's about time that 'big' brain of yours figured out at least how to hold a lazer without shooting yourself in the eye." The crimson eyes focused on violet ones. "You practiced lately?"
Purple grinned in embarrassment. "Nope," he muttered. "Been too busy dealing with my Class, trying to avoid another Uprising incident."
"Irk, that was a mess," agreed Red. "Glad we came up with that plan." He chuckled as the elevator signaled that they'd arrived on their private floor. "I can still remember those shorties' faces when we told them the new laws." They stepped off, onto their floor, Red heading left, Purple to the right. "I'll bring you a drink in a few, Pur," the Soldier called. "I got some stuff to do."
"You're on a roll today, Red," Purple laughed. "First a point to what you're saying and now you have actual things to do!" His voice faded as he entered his own chambers, probably locking the door behind him.
"Paranoid," Red muttered to himself, ducking into his rooms. They were, for the most part, an exact duplicate of the Student Tallest's. But, red where his was purple and with racks of assorted weapons in place of shelves of real or electronic books. He was tired. The cause of his weariness was unknown. Maybe the work from today's session with Purple had worn his brain out. He honestly wasn't used to writing speeches. "Soldiers aren't good speakers," Red mused, staring at his collection of ancient weapons. His favorites were the long staffs with blades attached to one end. The other branched out into twin prongs with razor-sharp, serrated edges-perfect for ripping an enemy in two. He was an expert in their use and practiced with them in the sparring room every spare moment. Purple had given some name to them in the ancient Irken language, something starting with "ba" or "bec."
Carefully, he took down the one he treasured the most, enjoying the smoothness of the shaft in his fingers. The main shaft was a deep brown that held almost a reddish tone when the correct light was held to it. Intricate carvings ran up and down its length, probably depicting glorious Irken victories. Its blade and serrations were gilded, reflecting light like a mirror. If they had been pure gold, the value of the weapon would not have been as great. They were, in fact, painted to enhance its elegance and made of one of the stronger metals at the time. Running a careful, Soldier-trained, eye across it, he noted the dull quality of the material. There was polish in his bedroom. Resting the staff across his shoulders, Red carried it off. Polishing was almost as relaxing as the thing he'd intended to do-which was to take a nap. The methodical, rhythmic strokes calmed you in a way nothing else could. He hummed a battle mantra on the way, antennae twitching along with the imagined beat working its way through his head. He marched smartly, instead of hovering, as a Tallest should. No one was around to see him, so why waste the power cells?
Personally, he was glad they'd brought the Armada back to Irk for a few years to recuperate the fleets. All the Invaders who hadn't conquered their planets yet wouldn't need it for a while anyway, and those who had were either lording over them or had returned to Irk already. It was good to be back. Just because he was a Soldier didn't mean he enjoyed campaigning. Oddly enough, Purple acted like he preferred it more than Red did. That was probably because he had never traveled off Irk as a Student, before he became Tallest.
Red ducked into his bedroom, looking around for where he kept the polish. It was always in a different place. With utmost care, he laid the staff on the bed, both to get it out of the way and not to damage it. "Oh, there it is!" he said, unsure of why he was talking to himself. The bottle of polish sat on one of the bedside tables, probably from last night's use. He took a step forward and unexpectedly tripped over something lying in his path. The Tallest unceremoniously fell flat on his face, grunting with surprise. A soft giggle startled him further. Red's antennae flicked inwards as he pushed himself up, looking around him. He was alone. "Who's there?" he demanded, fingers going for the lazers hidden in each wrist guard.
"Tall boomy!" the same quiet, almost babyish voice called out. It giggled again. "Boomy!"
His antennae twitched, looking for the source of the sound. It was behind him. The giggling continued. "Sounds like a kid," Red murmured to himself, and twisted around. Something ducked back under the bed. "Ah-hah!" he cheered, diving after it. "Come back here you... little thing!" Unfortunately, he wasn't prepared for what his fingers returned with. His eyes widened in astonishment; jaw dropping. "What the...?"
A baby Irken squirmed in his grasp. A baby, female Irken. About ten inches tall, probably only a day old, and without a back pod. She wore a small scarp of cloth instead of the Hatchery-issue clothing babies were given the moment they "hatched." Each antenna curled delicately away from her face, as did her black eyelashes. Her eyes were green, bright, beautiful green. She had ceased giggling and was trying to loosen Red's firm grip on her tiny body. There was no way she was Soldier-born; no Soldier had green eyes. That also explained her attitude. The two stared each other in the eye for a moment, then she bit his finger. "OW!" Red yelped, switching hands to suck on the injured finger. He glared at her. Then finally made a decision. "PUR!" he yelled, storming out to find the other Tallest. "PURPLE!"
The Student Tallest jumped. Irk, Red's voice could carry. He'd been sitting in a chair beside his window wall, innocently reading about how one should hold a lazer when he'd heard the Soldier bellowing his name, followed by a stream of obscenities that could only be described as "unprintable." He turned the chair around to face the door, trying to keep his antennae from twitching backwards. Red wouldn't, knowingly anyway, do anything to harm him. Unfortunately, the Student couldn't tell whether the Soldier was in a rational-angry or an insane-angry mood at the moment. He hoped it was the former. Nervously, he fingered the shielding button on his wrist guard. "What on Irk is this!?" was the first thing he heard as Red stormed in, holding a wriggling something aloft. His eyes were dark, holding an angry glint but lacking the crazed luster. "It bit me!"
"Bring it here and let me see," Purple said smoothly, trying to keep a calm, placating tone to his words.
Red grudgingly marched forward, holding the thing at arm's length. "Here," he growled, dropping the thing into Purple's lap. The Student let out a yelp of surprise, recoiling while Red snickered at his actions. "Tall," the thing said in awe, looking up at them both with its green eyes. "Tall!"
"Where did you get her...?" the Student asked softly, staring at the tiny Irken female. He looked her over in shock, letting her grip his long fingers to spin around. "By the First Tallest! She doesn't even have a back pod..." Purple chewed his lower lip, one of his little bad habits created out of nervousness. "How can she be alive?" The little female giggled, refusing to release her hold on him. Purple would have smiled if he hadn't been so unnerved.
"My guess is either she was a reject who got zapped by mistake and someone wanted to dump her, or..." He shrugged. "I forget the other one. How do you think she got up here in the first place?" Red's anger seemed to have cooled for the most part. He approached the chair to play with the female's tiny antennae.
"I have no idea. This is supposed to be the maximum security level." Red groaned inwardly. Purple's paranoia about security was going to double if he didn't think up a normal-sounding solution. "Maybe one of the cleaning crew found her somewhere and lost her," he suggested, trying to sound sincere. "I could uh, go check with them if you want, Pur..."
Purple nodded. "And see if any of the Student Hatcheries on Irk are missing an infant," he added. "And if not, check and see if they're willing to take on an extra."
Instead of whining, Red just nodded. "Sure thing. You gonna be all right with her for a while?"
"Yeah, I like little short things hanging off my fingers."
At least he had his sense of humor back, Red thought to himself, leaving. It was going to take a good portion of the evening, and probably most of the night as well. He didn't care. Soldiers could live without one night of sleep. He chuckled to himself as the door slid closed behind him. "Have fun, Pur."
The little female refused to let go of his fingers. "Come on," Purple muttered, trying to pry her off. "I'm a busy Tallest! I have stuff to do." She only giggled and squeezed tighter. He had to admit, she was cute. "How on Irk did you get in here?" he wondered aloud. "Did someone want us to find you? Irk knows we're too busy-er, at least usually too busy for someone like you. First Tallest, we don't even have anything that can teach you... or a pod for you. Blast it, let go of my fingers!" He tried shaking her off, but she only let out a squeal of delight.
"Tall!" she cheered. That seemed to be all she could say. Normally, Student infants were implanted with the knowledge of speech and the basics. Their skills were learned later on in life, which ones they learned depending on the talents they showed in various tests. Obviously, this female hadn't even learned how to speak properly. Why she was even alive was a mystery to him. "Purple," he said, gesturing to himself with a free hand. "Tall-est Purple."
"Puwple..." she copied. "Purple! Tall-est Purrrrple!" Her grip on his fingers released and she tumbled to the floor, giggling over the new words. "Tall tallest Purple!" the female said, pointing at him.
"Er... yeah, that's the general idea of being Tallest..." He reached into one of his waistbands, digging around for something. Irk knew how Red managed to keep sandwiches in there. His eye brightened as his fingers closed around the object he'd been searching for. "Here," he said, tossing the little rubber ball to her. Her eyes widened, if that was even possible. She laughed happily, bouncing it on the thick carpeting. Purple left her alone, he had some... Student things to do. Chewing his lip again, he pulled a thick volume from one of the shelves, scanning the title before hovering higher to select another of the same content. Maybe the ancients could give him some ideas for how to handle the situation? He came down to hover only an inch above the floor, deciding to translate the texts in the privacy of his room. Sure, he could have just used an instant electronic translator, but that defeated the purpose of being a scholar. "Hope I haven't forgotten too much..." he muttered, leaving the main room. The books were heavy in his hands. A small tug on the traditional Tallest skirt made him look down, curious. The little female was clinging to the fabric, her green eyes scared. "Oh for the love of..." Purple sighed. "Come on then." Shifting his books to one hand, he let her grab his fingers, pulling her up to give her a ride on his armor-plated shoulder.
He smiled at her coos of delight at his room. She squeaked, grabbing his face to show him something. "Oh, so you like that thing huh?" he laughed. The object of her attention was a stringed instrument in the corner of his room. It was metal, shaped like an open book with a hollow pedestal at the bottom. The right side had strings running vertically, while the left's ran horizontally. Inside the pedestal were small chimes one tapped with one's foot to produce the rhythm. It was rather difficult to play, but when you mastered it, the music produced was some of the most beautiful on Irk. Purple was good at it, although nowhere near mastering the thing. The ancients called it a ti-aten. He set the books down on his bed and moved over to the ti-aten player's chair. The female slid from his shoulder to his lap, watching in wonder. Very slowly, Purple brushed his foot against the largest of the chimes, producing low, steady notes. His right hand went to work over the vertical strings, left joining after a minute of faulty chords. It was a soft, pleasing song, almost like a lullaby. The female's eyelids began to close. Purple chewed his lip in concentration, fingers gliding over the strings. Normal Irken musicians had six fingers to work with; Tallests had only four. It was difficult. As he continued, the imperfect chords became fewer and fewer, the right ones emerging through, pure and sweet. When he looked down, the female was asleep, one of her fingers in her mouth. He stopped playing, flexing his fingers. Maybe he could read in peace out in the main room now. Judging by the time, there would be some moonlight if at least one of Irk's moons were full.
Purple picked her up once again, careful not to disturb her. The smaller volume was collected also. Once in the main room, he stretched out on the couch, letting the little female sleep on his chest while he balanced the book on his knees. "Lights," he murmured. "Dim." The voice-activated system responded, giving him enough light to read by, but enough dark to sleep by. He felt relaxed now, the stress of the day dissipating as he became absorbed in the book. The little female sighed, cuddling under his chin. Purple jumped slightly at the gentle touch. He wasn't used to this. /This must be what it's like to have a student to teach,/ he thought, smiling. Almost every member of the Student Class was paired with an Irken child to teach his or her skills to. Purple had been too young to be assigned a student when he'd become Tallest. He couldn't help thinking he'd missed out on something great, something he should have been able to experience. Hesitantly, he brushed one of her delicate antennae with a fingertip. The female sighed blissfully in her sleep. She was so small, so innocent...
"I think I'll call you Ivy," Purple said quietly. "Can't keep calling you female." He was silent for a while, watching her sleep. "I'm going to take you as my student..." he decided, still playing with her antennae. He was starting to feel sleepy. "And if Red doesn't like it... he can shove it up his green ass..."
"No one's missing any-" Red started, then stopped as he noticed the Irkens on the couch. The other Tallest was asleep, a book open across his knees, his hands splayed over it like he had been reading. The little female had curled up under his chin, also asleep. Red groaned. He should have foreseen this coming. There was an old saying among Soldiers. "Leave a Student with a baby and he'll have adopted it before you can blink," he growled. Once he'd heard that no one was missing a baby or wanted another, he'd made mental plans to launch the reject into an asteroid or dispose of it some other way. But now...
He approached Purple's couch, leaning over it to watch the Student Tallest. For the first time in a long while, Purple looked peaceful, unconcerned with the world and the troubles that plagued a Tallest. Maybe letting him have this kid as a student would be good for him. Irk knew that if he didn't stop worrying, he'd die long before his time. "Can't have that," he muttered. "I'd be chased with sticks or something."
Purple's antennae twitched at the familiar voice. His lavender eyes flicked open, bleary with sleep, then clearing before focusing on Red's face. He yawned, stretching out his legs. "Long night?" he asked.
"No Hatchery is missing anything. And no Nursery or Academy wants to take on another short thing," Red told him. "Sure, they will if we order them to, but then there'd be chaos." The Soldier grinned roguishly. "I see you have a friend."
The Student's face blushed a dark green. He opened his mouth to explain, but Red cut him off. "I know you wanna keep her, Pur," he said. "And... I guess it'd be all right. I mean, you are a Student and by Irken laws you should get to teach someone something or other." Now it was Red's turn to blush. "I guess she is kinda cute. Looks like she's gonna be tall too. It'd be a shame to waste all that height on books and stuff like that..."
Purple laughed. "You can train her if you want. I think she'd benefit from being a mix of the two Classes. Maybe she could be a way to keep my Class from killing yours."
"Hah, not much chance of that." Red reached down and gently twirled one of the female's antennae around his finger. "Named her?"
"Ivy."
"Good name." Red grinned at the sleeping Irken child. "She's got a big job ahead of her."
"And that would be...?" Purple squinted an eye at the other Tallest.
"Keeping you from driving me insane."
Ivy purred in her sleep, ignoring the two Almighty Tallest plan the rest of her life.
(Okay, so that was kinda fluffy. I got this idea in biology and it begged to be written. I'm only doing this because I have writer's block. Reviews will help me buy a sledgehammer to destroy the evil block that keeps me from finishing Collateral Damage.)