Disclaimer: I do NOT own The Pretender. Never claimed to, you didn't see me do it, I didn't do it. I believe it belongs to TNT and NBC, or maybe not NBC anymore…and isn't 20th Century Fox one of the production companies? Anyway, It's not mine. I have no idea who owns Rocky and Bullwinkle (Boris and Natasha) or Dudley Do-Right (Snidely Whiplash), though I think it's Hanna Barbara or Warner Bros…or something. I do know that Disney owns 101 Dalmations (Cruella De Ville). I do not own any of them and don't have the right to use them but hey it is so much fun to write about other people's characters, isn't that the point of fan fiction? I also don't own Escape From Alcatraz…in fact, I've never even seen it…does anyone know if it's a good movie?
Summary: Ms. Parker and Jarod have issues. This is what it would be like to be inside their heads while they were talking. Hope it doesn't get too confusing.
Author's Note: As a note to you first time readers, I just recently added the scene explanations into the text. Feel lucky that you get to read it when it makes more sense. By the way, the dialogue alternates each line. Ms. P, J, Ms. P, J, no exceptions. Lines always start with whoever's point of view it is.
If You Were In My Mind
By Bec-Bec
Chapter 3 Part 1
[Jarod's point of view. Ms. Parker has just come up behind him and Raines.]
Parker?
Parker? What's she doing here? My god, is she trying to save me? It's really not safe for her to be here. Uh Oh, duck…Bang! [Ms. Parker shoot Raines in the back of the neck and Jarod ducks.]
"Ow!" [Raines, crumpling up on the floor.]
She shot him! She actually shot him. She never actually shoots anybody. Where are we…oh, run. [Running down the hallway with Ms. Parker. They stop for a moment so she can undo his handcuffs.]
"Parker, what are you doing?"
She shot him. She actually shot him. I can't believe…
"Shut up and run, Wonder Boy, we've got to get out of here before Frankenfreak can call another team of sweepers." [They start running down the hallway again.]
Sweepers? There were sweepers? Did she shoot them too? She shot him! She actually shot him. Parker…
"Parker, you shot Raines! Do you have any idea what he's going to do to you? Why on earth would you do that?"
Why? Why?I mean, yah it was satisfying seeing him crumple up in a ball, but…she shot him! She actually shot him.
"Jarod, you can talk your ass off later, but run right now."
What is she doing? They'll kill her for this.
"Parker, why did you do that?"
I won't let them kill her. No way, especially now that she's saved me.
"I'll tell you later, just move those legs of yours faster. I know you can run, Lab Rat, I've seen you do it for the past six years."
Hah, lab rat. I don't actualy mind that name, it's kind of affectionate…for Parker anyway. Where are we going? We can't go out the front door now.
"Parker, we'll get caught if we go this way, follow me." [Turns a corner.]
If she ever decides to come back to the Centre, she'll know my escape route now, but I trust her…she's not coming back. I can't believe she shot him.
"This goes to a dead end, Rat Boy."
I don't think I like Rat Boy, just Lab Rat, and Wonder Boy…and Pez Head. Will she decide to stay with me now? Why did she come and get me? She shot Raines! I can't believe she shot him.
"No it doesn't, everyone just thinks that it does. Come on."
How many times have I used this escape route now? They've still never found it, They really aren't very smart. I wonder if Angelo would ever tell them it was here? I wish Angelo would have left with us, but he never does.
"Is this how you've escaped all of those times?"
Why do you ask questions which have obvious answers? Why not ask something less certain, like will you really trust me now? I do hope that you will, but then…Parker, you're such a hard ass sometimes. Why did you come and save me? [They come to ladder.]
"Yes." [They begin to climb.]
Fifty three-rungs. I counted them the first time I escaped. I took it as a sign, five and three make eight, eight is infinity on its side. Anything can happen in infinity…I wonder if Parker will stay with me? I do wish I knew if…
"Ug, if I'd have known I would have had to climb a ladder in stilletos, I wouldn't have come after you."
Parker always covers with that dry wit of hers. But, she did come. I wonder if…Ah, the top. [Jarod climbs out and leans back for Ms. Parker.]
"Give me your hand. I'll help you out."
Parker never lets anyone help her, why is that. Hey, she gave me her hand. Does this mean she trusts me?I wonder if she left her car near by? Did she plan to rescue me all along? No…it had to be spur of the moment…didn't it? [He pulls Ms. Parker up out of the passage.]
"Help me out? I just saved you from Raines, the human Snidley Whiplash."
Where does she come up with these nicknames? Is Snidely Whiplash someone who is snide and likes whiplashes? I never understand Parker. She has her own secret code talk with her Snidely Whiplash and Cruella De Ville and what was that other one?…Oh, Boris and Natasha. Who are Boris and Natasha?
"Yes, you did. Thank you." [Hugs her.]
Uh oh…was it a bad idea to hug her? Does she still have her gun?
"Don't mention it Pez Head." [Hugs him back]
Hah hah, Pez Head…she called me Pez Head…maybe I should come up with a nickname for her, no, she'd definitely shoot me for that…it's probably not even safe to skip using the Ms. in front of Parker. But then,…
"Parker, why did you come and save me from Raines?" [They begin walking across the field they've come out in.]
Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! I'm dying to know!
"I wasn't ready to let you loose the last few months…besides, I hate letting Raines have fun playing with his toys."
Does she consider me a toy? A piece of meat? Centre property?
"I am not Raines' toy." [Anger fills his voice.]
I'll never belong to them. Why would you save me if you thought of me that way?
"I didn't mean you. You're so slow for the genius that everyone claims you are. I meant his wonderful collection of sharp, pointy things called knives."
Cringe…knives…just the thought gives me goosebumps.
"So, is your car near by, or did you plan to walk back to the Centre parking lot and get it?" [No longer angry.]
Hah hah, now I'll find out if she planned this or not. I'm not slow, I'm a genius. God I love fresh air and ooh what is that bug?It's so shiny and pretty.
"Sorry if I didn't plan to play 'Escape from Alcatraz' today, but no, my car is not parked nearby, and there's no way that we can go back to the Centre. So, genius, what's your plan?" [Ms. Parker answers sarcastically.]
Darn, she didn't plan my rescue. Why did she rescue me then? Was she really going to leave me in there?
"The preferred method of traveling for those who are stranded with no car, hitch hike."
Parker hitchhiking, what a funny thought. Would she shoot me for this? Does she still have her gun? [They come to the road.]
"Oh joy. I'm not getting in a big rig with some trucker named Bones who's taking a shipment of green beans to Nebraska, so find a suitable car."
Bones? Green Beans? Nebraska? Is this the Parker code again? What does she expect me to do? Create a car out of thin air? I'm good, but I'm not that good.
"Hitchhiking is one thing where you take what you get. You'll learn to love it. You meet some very interesting people."
Oh, I don't like that look. Is she trying to kill me with her eyes? Couldn't she just use her gun? God, she has beautiful eyes. Is she crying? [Ms. Parker is crying softly. She's worn out by the emotional impact of everything that's happened.]
"Jarod, I'm really not in the mood to meet your 'interesting people' right now, okay? Just please, find a car so I can get some sleep."
How does she lose that edge of hers in five seconds? Now I'm just sad. She's sad too. God, I hate to see tears in her eyes.
"Parker, it will be okay, you made the right choice. I don't know why you made the choice, but you definitely made the right choice." [Wants to hug her but doesn't, just reaches out a hand and clasps her arm comfortingly.]
Maybe I shouldn't ask her to tell me now. Maybe that's pushing her just a little too far. But oh, I do hate it when she cries.
"Hah, the choice to run from the Centre. That's the choice you've wanted me to make for the last six years, to leave it all behind. But why, why did I do it? That's what you really want to know."
I sware she can read minds sometimes, or maybe she can just read faces? Do I look like I have the face of someone who wonders why she left the Centre? How would someone's face look if that's what they were wondering? Is she going to answer the question?
"Yes, that's what I want to know. I have a million questions for you, but that one answer takes care of over half of them."
Do you trust me? Do you love me like you said before? Did you save me because you were afraid to lose me? Why does…
"500,000 whole questions answered by one, that's a lot." [Jokes to break up the mood.]
Does the Centre know about our kiss? Were they planning to kill you for it? Why is that sparkle in your eyes only visible in the moonlight? Oh, wait, that wasn't one of them, though I would like to know the answer.
"It's all I'm asking for."
Tell me! Please, Parker. Do you trust me? Do you love me?
"I left because the Centre was going to destroy something that I wasn't ready to let go of yet. Call me selfish, but I saved you to save myself."
She saved me to save herself. Wait, what does that mean? I do wish Parker would try to talk with some sense.
"What do you mean?"
I can solve trigonometric eguations, work with quantum physics, Calculate position relative to the stars, the North Pole, and China, if I wanted, but I still can't understand Parker.
"They would have erased your memory, Jarod. You wouldn't remember the Island of Carthis. You wouldn't remember when you came to my house. Hell, you wouldn't even remember the first time you ate Pez. At first, I was going to let them because it meant I didn't have to admit that the reason I chased you all of these years wasn't because I wanted you back at the Centre, it was because I wanted you back with me. But, if I didn't stop them, it meant that I was stuck at the Centre for the rest of my life, and I'd have to live knowing that several sub levels below me was the one person who would have helped me to escape. The one person who, despite everything in this messed up world of ours, still found time to care about me and care about what I cared about. Call me sentimental, but it did mean something to me. I needed you." [She looks at him slightly sorrow filled.]
Needed me? Parker actually admits that she needs someone?I think my heart has stopped. I have to talk now don't I?
"Needed or need?"
Hah, good response. I hope she gives me that most wonderful answer of…
"Need. What a concept, I need someone." [Jarod moves in closer and aims for her mouth.]
I sware she reads minds. She said she needs me! Wow, what should I do? This is just…wow. Ooh I know…Oh, I do love kissing her…she needs me! This answers so much, except about the moonlight and her eyes…maybe I should…I do love kissing her. I do love her. [Kissing her softly but for a long time.]
"Parker, did you mean what you said at your house?"
You meant it, you had to mean it. Tell me you meant it.
"Yes…I did."
Hah, the world is the greatest place in the world. Wait, is that possible? Can the world be within itself? I don't care, she meant it! I have to kiss her again, right now…I do love kissing her.
"Do you know what you just did?"
I love the world. I wish everyone could experience this moment. No, wait, I take that back, it's only good when it's just me and her. There's so much to tell her, so much to show her of what's so great about life outside of the Centre.
"Proven what was previously a theory; Parker's actually have hearts. The Centre is going to come after us, you know. I can't believe I did this. Raines is probably plotting seventy ways to cut off my head and mount it on the wall right now…if he can still breathe." [With a half smile.]
Hah hah I love laughing, I love Parker. I wish this moment could last forever. Forever to infinity…isn't infinity already forever? I think it is, oh well. Still, hah hah, I do love laughing, I do love Parker. I love Parker to infinity.
"I can keep us away from the Centre…I'm a practiced expert at it. You know all about it."
La la la, wow singing is fun. I feel light as air. I wonder what the combined mass of every particle of air is? Maybe it's infinity…wow.
"Right now, can you keep us away toward a hotel? I'm really tired. We can talk about everything in the morning, just please, I need sleep. Lots of sleep…my caffeine crashed about three hours ago."
Parker and caffiene, though I suppose it's better then her taste for vodka…both are really bad for her ulcer, but she never listens to me…or does she? Maybe just on certain things. I'm tired too. Sleep is good. Hotels are far. Darn. Ooh, a car! [A car slows down for them.]
"Ah, our salvation on a highway!"
And it's not a big rig with Peas from Nebraska…or whatever Parker said. [They get in the car.]
****
Chapter 3 Part 2
[Ms. Parker's point of view. It's the following day. She's at her house gathering some of her things together. Jarod keeps trying to get her to open up about everything that's happened.]
Just Leave Me Alone
Just leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you.
"Jarod, I don't want to talk about this."
You never let me have a moment's peace. I don't want to talk, leave me alone.
"Parker, you need to talk, this is a big change."
Leave me alone! I don't like talking. There's too much talking. My head talks too much. I already have their jumbled voices, don't make me hear yours too.
"It's not that big Jarod, it's really not."
It's life altering, but it's my life that it altered, not yours. Leave me alone, please stop talking.
"Parker, this is huge. You have to talk about it."
Monumental. I deserve a plaque, an award…but, oh, why won't you just leave me alone?Let me think in peace. Go away, I'll come find you when I'm ready. Go away.
"Jarod, you're not my shrink, don't act like it."
Maybe…maybe we could talk about it…maybe.
"I'm trying to help you."
You always try to help…and really, you always do, but please, just leave me alone. I'm not ready.
"I don't need any help, Jarod, I'm just fine."
Please be quiet. Let me think. I'll come find you, I will. I could find you in a heartbeat.
"You don't look fine and you don't act fine. I know you, Parker."
You know me…you really do…I know it. But, leave me alone…I can't talk…I can't…I'll cry.
"Jarod, just leave me the hell alone, okay?!"
I won't let you see me cry. Just leave me alone. I'll find you later, when the voices stop. I'll find you later, when I'm ready to talk, but not now.
"Parker, you're always alone. But, you don't have to be. I'm here, let me help you."
Why don't you ever go? Why don't you ever just let me be? Why do you have to care so much? It makes it hurt more when I tell you that I need you to go, that I need to be alone right now.
"Jarod, please. I know that this is an enormous change, but I need to deal with it on my own. Your being there is not going to help. Just go."
I can't handle it if you're here. Please just go.
"Parker, I'm not leaving."
What do I have to do to get through to you? How come you never listen to me? I know what's best…I know…
"Jarod, hightail your pretender ass out that door right now or I won't ever tell you anything."
I know what's best…I know…I do…really.
"No, I'm not going. You took a gigantic risk and there's no way in hell that I'm leaving you alone. It's not safe anymore."
It's not safe because of you. I'm never safe because of you. I'm never safe around you…I'm not safe because of you.
"It's never safe. I dealt with it before and I can damn well deal with it now."
It's not safe, I'll lose myself…I'll
"You didn't deal with it. You never deal with anything, you just drown it all out with alcohol. Well, Parker, I'll make you deal with me because I'm not going away."
I'll lose myself in…
"Damn it, Jarod! You never listen to me, never."
I'll lose myself in you and I won't be able to come back…I can't…
"I listen when I agree with what I'm hearing. Right now, I don't agree with you."
I can't let myself…I'll lose…
"Jarod, for once in your life, just accept that you can't make other people do what you want them to."
Why do we always have to argue? Why can't you go? If you stay, I'll…
"Maybe I can't make them do what I want, but I can do whatever the hell I want to, and right now, I want to stay with you because, despite the fact that you won't admit it, you need some support from someone who cares."
But, that's the problem, I care too much. If you stay…I'll…
"No one cares, Jarod. You just feel bad for me. I'm just one of your charity cases. Save it for a hallmark card and get out of here."
Go. I'll admit it all if you stay. I'll fall apart if you stay. You'll pick me up if you stay…please stay.
"How do you do it? How do you manage to turn everyone who loves you away?"
If you stay…I'll love you…I'll…
"Practice, and a heart three sizes too small."
I said I loved you, before. I meant it before. I mean it now…but, I'll lose…
"Parker, that's physiologically impossible."
Hah…oh, Jarod…why are you like this? Why do you make me love you? Why do you make me want your arms around me when I should shoot you? Why…Why do you love me?
"It was a figure of speech."
I want to tell you…
"Parker, I'm staying."
I want you to stay…I want…
"Fine, just stay over there." [Motions for him to go across the room and away from her.]
Come here. Please.
"Fine!" [He walks away.]
Please. Come here. I'll let myself get lost…just this once…just forever.
"You can at least sit down. I don't need to see you standing there stupidly."
Come…come forever.
"Fine."
Come closer. [Jarod sits in a chair.]
"Don't sit there."
Come over here. [He stands up.]
"Make up your mind, for once, Parker. Am I staying or going? Am I sitting or standing?
Stay with me, go with me, sit with me, stand with me…come here.
"Sit in that chair, right there. Then I don't have to look at you." [Points to a different chair.]
Come here. I want to stare in your eyes. I want you to stare into mine…I wanna drown.
"You sure know how to treat a guest." [Sits down in the chair she pointed to.]
I'll drown. I'll lose…
"You aren't a guest by choice."
Don't listen to me. You never have before. Come here.
"That's blatantly obvious, but I'm not going."
I don't want you to go, I want you to come here…
"Fine."
Silence…he's staring at me, isn't he?…what if I just turn my head…What if I just…How come I can see you…How come you can see me? How come…[Turns and stares at him he stares back longingly.]
"Parker…" [She walks over to him and pulls him up by lacing their fingers together
Jarod, I love the way our fingers look when they're laced together. I love it when you kiss me…I love it when I'm yours…I love you.
"Shhh…" [Moves her other hand to his lips, then kisses him softly.]
I love that you love me despite all of this. I love that…I love that I chose you and not the Centre…
"We should go."
Going, always going, always running. I feel like the energizer bunny.
"I suppose so."
He's still holding my hand…
"The Centre will be here soon, I'm sure."
The Centre's always here…like I said, we're even in the Centre when we're not actually in it.
"Probably."
He's still holding my hand…
"Come on."
He's holding my hand…This time we're walking out the door together.
"Jarod!" [Sydney yells as he comes bursting through Ms. Parker's front door.]
Sydney?
Original Author's Note: I know the first part of this chapter is soooo not drama, but Jarod is just like a child sometimes…I'm not sure where I'm going with this next. Any ideas? As always, I'll provide the background scenes for you. Part 1 involved Parker shooting Raines and then escaping with Jarod. They catch a ride to a hotel and spend the night there. Part 2 takes place the next day. Ms. Parker wants to get some things from her house, so they go there. Jarod keeps nagging her because he wants to know everything behind what made her decide to save him. The Centre is about to show up, of course, but Sydney gets to them first. Please Review! Everybody loves reviews! Everybody needs some reviews! You know you wanna! I'm tired. Sleep Sleep Sleep. Remember to send ideas!
New Author's Note: Hmm. Well, what's there to say? Nothing much. Gotta love Syd and the way he acts like their father. Please Review!!!