Chapter 3: The Past Comes Calling...
He walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Shocked brown eyes staring up at him. He smiles. With all the strength she can muster, she tries to push herself away from him. Shivering...being near him again. Shards of hurtful memories came back at her as she stared at him, piercing her growing consciousness. The overwhelming pain she feels as her body awakens convinces her early on that she isn't dreaming, although she would give anything to believe she was.
"Can I get you something?"
Her hackles rise at the sound of his deep, resonant voice. The voice that haunted her, still, only quieting in the presence of Todd. Mustering up her determination, she glares at him.
"You can get me the hell out of here, you bastard," she hisses, wincing slightly at the twinge of pain coursing through her body when she attempted to move.
He laughs, that smooth, silky, deceitful laugh. Téa shudders.
"Still as fiery as ever, eh?"
"Go to Hell," she spits.
"No, not me. I'd say your hubby is probably already there though."
A blast of fear overwhelms Téa. "What...what did you do to him?" she asks, her voice laced with panic.
He leans down and picks up the newspaper. Smiling widely, he holds it up. Téa's eyes widen at what she sees. The words quickly become blurred as tears sting her eyes. She struggles to sit up, her muscles aching from...well she wasn't quite sure what. She reaches out and snatches the paper from him. Her heart sinks as she reads it.
Oh God...he thinks I'm dead....
Her breathing quickens as the enormity of the situation she's in begins to really hit her. Her eyes leave the paper, rising slowly to meet his. As quickly as she can, she raises her aching arm and slaps him across his smug face. A sneer crosses her face as she sees the red scratches left by her nails, the droplets of blood rising out of the welts.
"YOU are a God damn bastard Miguel."
*****
Todd walks back into Viki's cabin, emotionally and physically drained. He'd said it today, too many times. To Carlotta, to Roseanne. Their faces crumbling in pain, the hatred directed at him.
Oh yeah, he could read them.
It's your fault...
They blamed him. He could tell. All they saw in front of them was a heartless monster. They didn't see the man who was dying inside, who felt like he'd lost half of himself. The only living part remaining was due to his beautiful daughter.
Starr. He had stopped back over to see her, and found her sleeping. Cried herself to sleep, clutching an old picture of her and Téa. Broke his heart. He had taken the picture frame from her, gazing at it. It was a picture from Mother's Day, 1998. Starr had, of course, spent the day with Blair. But before she had left, she had whispered to Todd that she had a present for Téa. Shocked the hell out of Todd, how thoughtful his daughter was. She had presented a stunned Téa with a picture frame she had made in school, decorated with seashells. He remembered clearly the look on Téa's face. Awe, love....all mixed. He knew how much it meant to Téa, to be included on Mother's Day. He knew how insecure she felt about her mothering skills, even though she was a natural.
He places down the picture, a lump in his throat. Thinking about her, about their baby. About all their dreams that were shattered into pieces...the remnants of which circled around him...followed him, whereever he was, whatever he was doing.
He had placed the frame back in Starr's hands, lying down next to her. Wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. Clinging to her life, so he wouldn't want death so much. His eyes roaming over her tearstained face. Wasn't fair, really. Starr had so much upheaval, so much loss in her life. First he walked out on her, then he came back, left again, comes back only to tell her the stepmother she loves wasn't coming back with him. Too much for a little girl to take.
Too much for him to take.
He'd stopped by Llanfair, but had had no luck finding Viki. He left a note, telling her where he was. Praying she would come to him, because he needed her. He needed to talk to someone, to break down, to have someone understand. His strength had given out when he saw Starr, and it had been downhill ever since.
He also wanted to make sure Viki was okay. The guilt he felt at having not been around for his sister's illness ate at him more now. But with the loss of Téa, it was compounded. He couldn't lose Viki too.
The thought hadn't escaped him that this was some form of divine retribution. Slowly taking away any and everyone who thought anything remotely good about him. Téa...Viki. He shudders. Not like he wouldn't deserve it.
He grabs a beer from the fridge, chugging it quickly, wanting the alcohol in him as soon as possible. He craved numbness. The pain was too great, the jagged edges of their broken dreams stabbing at him. The interminable ache he felt in his heart, a huge emptiness. Threatening to overtake him.
He reaches into his pocket and takes out her wedding ring. He slips it halfway on his finger, noticing the black dust marring the gold. But nothing could mar her, not even him. She had this way of taking him, understanding him. Dealing with him. Being straight with him. Being gentle with him. She always seemed to know when he needed her gentleness, too. She would stroke his hair, whispering in that soft voice Spanish words he didn't understand. But even if he didn't understand the literal meaning, he knew what she was saying.
Hush...it's okay Todd...I love you....
Her soft fingertips would graze his cheek as he leaned into her, resting his head on her shoulder. Closeness, intimacy, it was still hard for him, but every once in a while he would give into that human craving inside him, to wrap himself up in her. When the pain got to be too much. And she would let him, for as long as he needed to. One particularly bad night, she had sat with him the whole night on the couch, quietly holding him, whispering to him. Just letting him be...safe. Loved. It was that night that he first began to understand just how much she loved him, and what that meant. She had this..need...to comfort him, as instinctual as his need to have her comfort him.
Leaning his head back, he wraps his arms around himself. Trying to recreate her warmth, her whisper. A tear slipped down the side of his face, dropping on his hair.
This is the sight that greets Viki as she quietly opens the door. She had heard the news from a heartbroken Carlotta, and had immediately rushed home, hoping to find Todd there. When she found his note, she had set out for the cabin. She walks over to him quickly, wordlessly sitting down next to him.
For a moment, he doesn't even move, react. Just stares upwards, letting the silent tears pour down his face. Finally, he turns his head towards Viki. Meets her eyes, seeing the sadness, the compassion...the love. His body deflates, and his face crumbles in pain. Sobs wrack his body as he buries face in Viki's shoulder..as he finally allows himself to break down.