A connection so strong...

Endless.

Todd rubs fruitlessly at his red, swollen eyes and pulls back from Viki after what seems like an endless period of time. He takes in her sad, tear stained face, grateful beyond belief that even after all the shit he pulled, she was still there, still his shoulder to cry on when he needed her most.

It was funny. He thought, in the back of his mind, that he might feel slightly better after letting all his pent up emotions out. He had kept it inside since he heard the news, not wanting it to be real, not wanting to admit to himself that it was really happening. But..he didn't feel better. He felt drained, he felt exhausted, he felt like all he wanted to do was crawl into Téa's arms and let her stroke his hair until he finally fell asleep.

And then..he woke up, to the awful reality of what he was going through.

Viki takes in the sight of him, her heart breaking. The sheer devastation, the loss on his face tore at her. The closest he had ever been to this much despair before was when he precious Starr was so ill years ago. She leans back against the sofa, wiping at her eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asks softly.

A strangled sob escapes Todd's throat as he puts his head in his hands. "Oh God..don't make me say it again Viki..."

"Okay...ok," she jumps in quickly, "I just thought it might help...if you talked about it, but you don't have to." She watches him closely, watches as in nothing more than a second, his despair turns to fury.

"What the hell's to talk about huh? God again laughs at Todd Manning. Another one of his fucking jokes."

"Todd..I know you're upset..."

"Upset? My wife and unborn child are gone because of a god damn car bomb and you think I'm upset? I don't think that begins to fucking describe it Viki."

Todd turns toward her in time to see Viki's wide eyed stare at him. "What?" he asks harshly.

"Child?" Viki asks quietly, tears filling her eyes. Todd's face crinkles in pain at that, and he nods silently. "Oh Todd...I didn't hear that part."

Taking a deep breath, Todd stands up and walks over to the fireplace. Amazing how he could still 'feel' her in this place. He begins talking in a voice so low that Viki moves forward on the couch to hear him.

"Things...things were ...good. Yeah, I know.. from me that's saying something. But, they were. Téa had just found out about the baby and we ran off to Vegas and got married again," he pauses, feeling her ring in his pocket. "Married three whole days. Some fucking honeymoon huh? They came...and they told me. I don't think I moved, I don't think I even breathed. I just stood there, after they left, watching the door...waiting for her to come through it. Then, I just laid on the floor, I don't even know how long...and I thought about all the ways I could end it...all the ways I could be with her again."

"Oh Todd...no..no don't even think that way."

"I didn't do it did I?" he replies bitterly.

"What stopped you?"

He turns toward her. "Starr."

Viki nods. "That's what Téa would have wanted."

"Yeah...you know while I was laying there...I kept going over what I said to her before she left. And I kept thinking how I didn't tell her I loved her," his voice breaks as fresh tears roll down his cheeks. "Do you think she knew that Viki?"

Viki smiles tenderly through her tears. "I'm sure she did Todd."

"I hope so....all she wanted in her life was for someone to love her you know? And to love someone...I remember she told me that once."

"Not just someone Todd...you. She wanted you to love her, and you gave her that."

Todd searches Viki's face, desperate to believe her. He needed to feel that, he needed to know inside that Téa really knew and understood how he felt, because he always wasn't so great at saying it out loud. Never in his life had he wished he had been able to go back and put into words all his feelings for her.

"Her family blames me."

"Honey, I'm sure they are just upset, give them time."

"Yeah well I'm gonna find out who is responsible, that I promise you."

"Todd, please, I know ...I know how angry you must be...but please ...you need to be careful and you need to be very sure before you go out on a rampage. Don't go off half cocked and put yourself in danger too." She watches him take in her words, knowing that they are probably falling on deaf ears. His hurt, his anger, his despair too strong to think logically.

"Can I tell you something...and try not to think I'm nuts ok?"

"Of course."

He steps closer to Viki, shoving his hands in his pockets. "There's part of me...and I can't really explain it...but there is part of me that just won't believe she's really gone."

Viki tilts her head sympathetically. "Todd...that's natural...denial can be very strong.."

"No..no it's not denial. I don't know...when the cops came to the door...and told me I didn't believe it...because I didn't feel it. For some reason...there was something about Delgado you know?" he pauses, sniffling and wiping his face roughly with his sleeve. "I could always just tell when she was around, could tell when something was up or something was wrong. It was the same way with her....she knew I was in town when I came back for her before she even saw me."

"You two had a very strong connection Todd."

"Yeah...that's what bugs me you know? Why didn't I know? I mean...I saw the wreck," his voice falters as the vivid memory of the scene floats through his brain, "and there was barely anything left...the only thing I have of her is this," he says, pulling out her wedding ring. "But even now...there is still something....a little part of me that ...that just won't believe it."

Viki sighs as she watches Todd walk over to the couch, gently stroking Téa's wedding band. She wouldn't tell him, but she was very afraid for him. Afraid of the rage that would be unleashed once he decided to push the anguish inside. Afraid of the consequences it might bring.

And afraid that his denial would overtake him.