Chapter 3
Amanda Bentley grimaced as another file was dropped on her desk. That meant another body had been brought to the morgue and would have to be scheduled for an autopsy. It had been a busy evening already and the clock hadn't even struck midnight, Amanda thought cynically, which is when the abusers, drunks and murderers usually crawled out from under whatever rocks they'd been hiding.
A sharp knock and the door opening caused Amanda to turn. "Mark, Steve," she said, surprised. "What brings you in tonight? Shouldn't you be home with Carol?"
"We need to see a body that should've come in a little while ago."
"Well you've come to the right place," Amanda said, wearily, "but you'll have to more specific. I've had three people come in in the past couple of hours."
"Female, without any identification."
Amanda frowned. "Nobody fits that description." Her eyes fell to the stack of files on her desk and she recalled the folder someone had dropped there just before Mark and Steve came in. "Is this a case you're working on?" she asked Steve.
"No."
Steve's terse reply startled Amanda. He seemed very tense, she realized. The stiff way he held his body and the distressed expression he wore suddenly made her very uneasy.
"You're sure you haven't had any unidentified females come in?" Mark asked, sounding hopeful.
Rising, Amanda casually picked up the stack of folders from her desk including the newest one right on top. She had a feeling it was that folder Mark was interested in. She had no idea what information it contained, but for some reason she was reluctant to open it in front of her friends. Maybe it was Steve's obvious distress that was fueling her reluctance or maybe it was just her imagination working overtime. Whatever it was, Amanda decided she needed a couple of minutes to regain her composure.
"Ben Moeller got a call earlier. It seems like he should be back by now. I'll go and check if he's unloading the van. Wait here, I'll only be a couple of minutes."
Amanda waited until she had turned the corner and was out of sight before opening the top folder. After quickly scanning the contents, she slammed it shut in disbelief. Ben Moeller came around the corner at the other end of the hallway just in time to see Amanda's reaction.
"Not very good reading material, I guess."
Amanda ignored him. "Where's the female GSW victim you brought in?"
"In a locker waiting for an autopsy."
"I want to see her," Amanda said, starting down the hallway.
Ben fell into step beside her. "Nothing special about this one. Cause of death is pretty obvious, but the police are looking for time of death, physical evidence, signs of sexual assault, that kind of stuff."
Amanda winced at the possibility of Carol being raped as well as murdered. How would Mark and Steve handle that? she wondered.
When Ben folded back the sheet to reveal the woman's face, Amanda couldn't quite suppress a quiet moan. Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away quickly, heading for the door. "Her father is here to identify her."
Ben was confused. "It was done at the scene."
"Don't argue with me. Just get her ready."
Out in the hallway, Amanda took several deep breaths and wiped her eyes. She had to be composed so she could help her friends through what would, undoubtedly, be a very traumatic time for them. Her composure nearly broke though when she walked through the door and her gaze locked with Steve's. He had known from the moment he'd walked into the office what the outcome would be, Amanda realized. That was why he'd been so tense.
Amanda broke eye contact and cleared her throat. "Mark, Ben's getting her ready. Just pull the curtain back."
"We've viewed bodies before, Amanda. We'll just go in."
"Dad." Steve's tone was pleading.
Mark didn't appear to hear his son and started down the hallway. Steve hesitated, torn between his desire to avoid the sight of his sister on a morgue table and to protect his father. In the end, however, he followed Mark. Stomach in knots, Amanda brought up the rear.
Ben Moeller was waiting next to the table when the trio entered. If he was surprised to see them in the room instead of on the other side of the window, he didn't show it. He didn't greet them, just silently waited for Mark's nod to lift the sheet and reveal the woman underneath.
For several long seconds there was only silence. Mark was the first to break it. "Oh no!" he exclaimed in anguish and horror.
The noise seemed to penetrate Steve's own shock. "Come on, Dad," he said gently, putting his arm around Mark's shoulders to lead him away.
Mark shook him off and returned to the table. "My baby, oh Carol," he kept repeating as he stroked her hair.
Amanda covered her mouth to smother her own sobs. Catching Ben's eye, she nodded for him to follow her out into the hallway.
"Doctor Sloan's daughter." It was a statement rather than a question. "I got the identification from Detective Lopez so I didn't make the connection at the scene."
Amanda nodded miserably. "Carol kept her married name even after her husband was - " she paused and laughed humorlessly, "murdered."
"Any chance it's related?" The pathologist was already sifting through the information for clues that might help the police.
"No. Those people are in prison."
Ben looked at Amanda. "Will you be okay?" He knew about her close friendship with the Sloan men.
"I've got to be. I have a feeling they're going to need me." Her voice quavered slightly. "This won't be an easy time for them. Just give them all the time they need. I'll let you know about the autopsy."
Nodding in understanding, Ben turned and went down the hallway toward his office. Amanda, fearing her legs would no longer hold her upright, sank heavily into her chair. She dropped her head into her hands for a moment, then took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Reaching for the phone, Amanda picked up the receiver and began dialing.
*************
Jesse Travis had just put the key in the lock of his apartment when the pager at his waist went off. Pushing the door shut behind him, he yanked the offending instrument from his belt and groaned out loud. He'd just finished twenty fours in the emergency room and was exhausted. Couldn't they get along without him for a few hours?
Sighing, he looked at the display and was surprised to see the number for Amanda's path lab in the window. He'd seen Amanda around dinnertime and she knew he was heading home for some much needed sleep. If she was calling, it must be important.
Jesse bypassed the hospital switchboard and dialed the path lab directly. Amanda answered on the first ring, her voice more subdued than normal. "Doctor Bentley, County Medical Examiner's Office."
"Amanda, this is Jesse. You getting a cold or something? Your voice sounds funny. I got your page. What's up?"
"It's not good news, Jesse. I know you're exhausted, but can you come back to the hospital?"
"What for?"
"Please, Jesse. Not over the phone." Amanda's voice broke and tears welled in her eyes.
Dread settled in Jesse's stomach. "What's happened? Is it Steve? Has he been shot?"
"No. Oh Jesse, it's awful!" Her breath caught on a sob. "Mark and Steve are in the morgue right now identifying a body. It's Carol, Jesse. Carol was murdered."
Jesse was stunned. A surge of adrenaline chased away his exhaustion. "I'll be there in twenty minutes," he promised.
When Jesse entered the path lab almost exactly twenty minutes later, Amanda was sitting behind her desk staring into space. Although no longer crying, he could see the remains of tears on her cheeks. She started when the door slipped out of his grasp and banged shut behind him.
Amanda gave Jesse a shaky smile. "I'm sure glad to see you."
Jesse shook his head. "I can't believe it. Where are Steve and Mark?"
"Still in with Carol. I told Ben Moeller to give them all the time they needed. I'm pretty sure Steve knew when he came in. I could tell something was wrong, I just didn't know what. Mark had to be in denial. That's the only way I can explain his attitude. I know Steve just wouldn't bring him here without preparing him first."
Jesse's gaze darted over Amanda's shoulder at the sound of slow, heavy footsteps coming down the hall. It only took a few seconds for Mark and Steve to come into sight. His unsettled stomach protested even further when he saw the look of utter devastation on Mark's face and Steve's tightly controlled grief. He approached them slowly not sure what to say. All his training as a doctor did not prepare him to comfort his best friends after this type of tragedy.
"Mark, Steve, Amanda called me at home. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"Thanks Jess," Steve said automatically.
"I think you better let me drive you home," Jesse said, concerned about the matching glazed looks his friends wore. "Someone can bring your car out to the beach house later."
"I don't understand," Mark said suddenly. "How could this happen? Who did this?" He turned and faced his son. "Who would want to do this to Carol?"
Steve winced at the depth of his father's anguish. "I don't know, Dad," he replied, fury choking his voice, "but we're going to find him and make sure he's punished."
Amanda laid a gentle hand on Mark's arm. "Why don't you let Jesse take you home now? Ben is going to do the autopsy, and he's going to turn everything he finds no matter how insignificant over to the police. We will find the person responsible for this."
"Oh no, I can't bear.please, Amanda could you do the.the autopsy? The thought of another stranger touching her.after everything she's been through.it's more than I can bear right now. I trust you. I know you'll treat her with respect."
As much as she wanted to, Amanda could not refuse Mark's request. Her best friend and mentor had just lost his only daughter to a violent crime and she couldn't change that. She could, however, put his mind at ease that in this traumatic time Carol would be treated as a person and not just another victim. "Of course, Mark," she assured him softly. "I'm sure Ben will understand."
Mark's shoulders sagged in relief and Steve pushed him gently toward Jesse. "Go with Jesse, Dad. I want to talk with Amanda for a minute, but I'll catch up."
"Come on, Mark," Jesse said, leading him away.
Steve waited until he was sure his dad and Jesse were out of earshot and then turned to face Amanda. "Dad shouldn't have asked you to do the autopsy."
"It's okay. I'll admit I'm not looking forward to it, but I know it's really important to Mark."
"If you don't do it, he'll never know the difference."
"But I'll know," Amanda said, "and, like you, I can't lie to your father. He sees right through me. Anyway, I feel so helpless right now. At least this way it feels like I'm doing something."
Steve bowed his head, overwhelmed at the depth of Amanda's friendship that she would put her personal feelings aside to honor his dad's request. "Thank you."
Amanda brushed his cheek with a kiss. "Go home. I'll see you later tomorrow."
Steve caught up with his dad and Jesse at the nurses' station where Jesse was signing a chart handed to him by the senior nurse on duty. Everyone wore sympathetic looks on their faces, but his grief was too fresh, too private and Steve wasn't ready to face them yet to collect their expressions of sympathy. Averting his gaze, he walked out the emergency room doors into the cool night air.
The drive to the beach house was as silent as the drive to the hospital had been just a few hours earlier. Occasionally, Steve could hear his dad sigh deeply and he knew Mark was trying to control his emotions at least until he could be alone. Steve looked at his watch. How different this night had turned out from what they had planned, he thought. If Carol had arrived safely, he imagined the three of them would be sitting out on the deck enjoying the cool spring evening and each other's company.
Jesse took the keys from Mark's trembling hand and opened the front door. He flipped on a light and then led Mark into the living room so he could sit down. Steve stood near the door as if seeing the house for the very first time. Finally, he came in and sat next to Mark.
"Dad, can I get you anything?"
Numbly, Mark shook his head. Jesse recognized the signs of shock and was concerned about how Mark would feel physically when the shock finally wore off. He sat on the edge of the coffee table so he could look Mark square in the eye.
"I think you need to lie down and try to get some rest."
"I don't think I could sleep."
"You need to try. Mark, so much has happened in a very short time and you're in shock. There's going to be more to deal with in the next few days. You need to take care of yourself." Jesse paused and added softly, "Wouldn't Carol want you to take care of yourself?"
Jesse knew by adding that last question he'd be using Mark's vulnerability, but it got the desired result. "I guess so."
"Come on, Dad."
Jesse watched as Steve guided Mark down the hall toward the master bedroom. He had never thought of his friend as old but, at that moment, Mark looked every one of his seventy plus years. Waited a few minutes so Steve could help Mark get settled, Jesse quietly slipped into the bedroom. He took a small envelope from his jacket pocket.
"Mark, I want you to take these," he said, shaking two capsules out of the envelope.
Mark shook his head vehemently. "I don't want them."
"And normally I'd agree with you, but tonight you don't get a say in the matter. I think it's a good idea for you to take them."
"Jesse's right. One night won't hurt. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."
Satisfied that Steve would make sure Mark took the pills, Jesse went back to the living room. His earlier adrenaline rush had faded and he was exhausted, but he needed to stay awake long enough to check on Steve. About 15 minutes later, Jesse heard footsteps coming down the hallway and looked up. Steve nodded at his questioning look.
"He fought it, but he's finally asleep."
"Good. I have two more. I'm hoping you'll be smart and take them too."
"No."
"Be reasonable. You need rest too."
"I should call Amanda."
"She's working and you know how she hates to be interrupted when she's working."
"Then I should check with Emma. See if she's found out anything."
"Steve, you need to stop being a cop. Emma has everything under control, and I'm sure she'll be in touch as soon as she knows something." Jesse laid a hand on Steve's arm. "She's a good cop, Steve. Let her do her job."
Steve's shoulders sagged. "I just feel so damn helpless."
Jesse set a glass of iced tea in front of Steve. "I understand that," he said, quietly. "I feel helpless too. Two of my best friends are in pain and there's nothing I can prescribe that will make the pain go away."
Silently, Steve sipped his tea. Jesse's words barely registered as he tried to sort through his grief, rage and helplessness. He'd seen his father cry tonight and it shook him. He couldn't ever remember seeing Mark cry not even when his beloved Katherine had died. Then Mark had sort of withdrawn into himself for a while as a way to deal with his grief leaving Steve and Carol to grieve alone. Maybe this time would be different, Steve thought as he fought to keep his eyes open.
Jess reached for the nearly empty glass in Steve's hand. "Come on, buddy. Let me walk you downstairs."
Steve lurched to his feet. He couldn't believe how fast exhaustion had overcome him. One minute he'd been wide awake drinking the iced tea, the next minute his eyelids felt like they were being weighted down with rocks. Through blurry eyes, he looked at Jesse with suspicion.
"You put those pills in that tea didn't you?
Jesse didn't deny it. "I did it for your own good. You were wired tighter than a spring and you need to get some rest if you're going to be any help to Mark or yourself."
"You had no right! I need to be there for Dad in case he needs something. I have to be ready when Emma calls."
Sighing in frustration Jesse said, "Mark will sleep all night just like you, and I'm spending the night because I'm too tired to drive home."
Steve was losing his battle against the drug. "I loved Carol so much," he blurted out. "I didn't tell her that enough. We didn't get along very well, but I did love her." Steve looked up at Jesse. "Do you think she knew how much I loved her?"
Jesse's heart constricted at the pain and uncertainty in his friend's voice. Under the sedative's influence, Steve's vulnerability had been allowed to break through his usual ironclad control. Jesse was sure Steve would be embarrassed at his emotional outburst if he even remembered it the next morning.
"What if she died wondering why I wasn't there to protect her? What if she died thinking I didn't love her?"
"She knew, Steve." Jesse soothed him. "I'm absolutely positive Carol knew that you loved her and that you'd move mountains and slay dragons to protect her."
Steve's only reply was a deep sigh as the sedative finally overtook him. Jesse snapped off the light and trudged wearily back upstairs. He stretched out on the long sofa and reached for the blanket Mark kept draped across the back. Before he could finish shaking it out, Jesse was asleep.
Amanda Bentley grimaced as another file was dropped on her desk. That meant another body had been brought to the morgue and would have to be scheduled for an autopsy. It had been a busy evening already and the clock hadn't even struck midnight, Amanda thought cynically, which is when the abusers, drunks and murderers usually crawled out from under whatever rocks they'd been hiding.
A sharp knock and the door opening caused Amanda to turn. "Mark, Steve," she said, surprised. "What brings you in tonight? Shouldn't you be home with Carol?"
"We need to see a body that should've come in a little while ago."
"Well you've come to the right place," Amanda said, wearily, "but you'll have to more specific. I've had three people come in in the past couple of hours."
"Female, without any identification."
Amanda frowned. "Nobody fits that description." Her eyes fell to the stack of files on her desk and she recalled the folder someone had dropped there just before Mark and Steve came in. "Is this a case you're working on?" she asked Steve.
"No."
Steve's terse reply startled Amanda. He seemed very tense, she realized. The stiff way he held his body and the distressed expression he wore suddenly made her very uneasy.
"You're sure you haven't had any unidentified females come in?" Mark asked, sounding hopeful.
Rising, Amanda casually picked up the stack of folders from her desk including the newest one right on top. She had a feeling it was that folder Mark was interested in. She had no idea what information it contained, but for some reason she was reluctant to open it in front of her friends. Maybe it was Steve's obvious distress that was fueling her reluctance or maybe it was just her imagination working overtime. Whatever it was, Amanda decided she needed a couple of minutes to regain her composure.
"Ben Moeller got a call earlier. It seems like he should be back by now. I'll go and check if he's unloading the van. Wait here, I'll only be a couple of minutes."
Amanda waited until she had turned the corner and was out of sight before opening the top folder. After quickly scanning the contents, she slammed it shut in disbelief. Ben Moeller came around the corner at the other end of the hallway just in time to see Amanda's reaction.
"Not very good reading material, I guess."
Amanda ignored him. "Where's the female GSW victim you brought in?"
"In a locker waiting for an autopsy."
"I want to see her," Amanda said, starting down the hallway.
Ben fell into step beside her. "Nothing special about this one. Cause of death is pretty obvious, but the police are looking for time of death, physical evidence, signs of sexual assault, that kind of stuff."
Amanda winced at the possibility of Carol being raped as well as murdered. How would Mark and Steve handle that? she wondered.
When Ben folded back the sheet to reveal the woman's face, Amanda couldn't quite suppress a quiet moan. Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away quickly, heading for the door. "Her father is here to identify her."
Ben was confused. "It was done at the scene."
"Don't argue with me. Just get her ready."
Out in the hallway, Amanda took several deep breaths and wiped her eyes. She had to be composed so she could help her friends through what would, undoubtedly, be a very traumatic time for them. Her composure nearly broke though when she walked through the door and her gaze locked with Steve's. He had known from the moment he'd walked into the office what the outcome would be, Amanda realized. That was why he'd been so tense.
Amanda broke eye contact and cleared her throat. "Mark, Ben's getting her ready. Just pull the curtain back."
"We've viewed bodies before, Amanda. We'll just go in."
"Dad." Steve's tone was pleading.
Mark didn't appear to hear his son and started down the hallway. Steve hesitated, torn between his desire to avoid the sight of his sister on a morgue table and to protect his father. In the end, however, he followed Mark. Stomach in knots, Amanda brought up the rear.
Ben Moeller was waiting next to the table when the trio entered. If he was surprised to see them in the room instead of on the other side of the window, he didn't show it. He didn't greet them, just silently waited for Mark's nod to lift the sheet and reveal the woman underneath.
For several long seconds there was only silence. Mark was the first to break it. "Oh no!" he exclaimed in anguish and horror.
The noise seemed to penetrate Steve's own shock. "Come on, Dad," he said gently, putting his arm around Mark's shoulders to lead him away.
Mark shook him off and returned to the table. "My baby, oh Carol," he kept repeating as he stroked her hair.
Amanda covered her mouth to smother her own sobs. Catching Ben's eye, she nodded for him to follow her out into the hallway.
"Doctor Sloan's daughter." It was a statement rather than a question. "I got the identification from Detective Lopez so I didn't make the connection at the scene."
Amanda nodded miserably. "Carol kept her married name even after her husband was - " she paused and laughed humorlessly, "murdered."
"Any chance it's related?" The pathologist was already sifting through the information for clues that might help the police.
"No. Those people are in prison."
Ben looked at Amanda. "Will you be okay?" He knew about her close friendship with the Sloan men.
"I've got to be. I have a feeling they're going to need me." Her voice quavered slightly. "This won't be an easy time for them. Just give them all the time they need. I'll let you know about the autopsy."
Nodding in understanding, Ben turned and went down the hallway toward his office. Amanda, fearing her legs would no longer hold her upright, sank heavily into her chair. She dropped her head into her hands for a moment, then took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Reaching for the phone, Amanda picked up the receiver and began dialing.
*************
Jesse Travis had just put the key in the lock of his apartment when the pager at his waist went off. Pushing the door shut behind him, he yanked the offending instrument from his belt and groaned out loud. He'd just finished twenty fours in the emergency room and was exhausted. Couldn't they get along without him for a few hours?
Sighing, he looked at the display and was surprised to see the number for Amanda's path lab in the window. He'd seen Amanda around dinnertime and she knew he was heading home for some much needed sleep. If she was calling, it must be important.
Jesse bypassed the hospital switchboard and dialed the path lab directly. Amanda answered on the first ring, her voice more subdued than normal. "Doctor Bentley, County Medical Examiner's Office."
"Amanda, this is Jesse. You getting a cold or something? Your voice sounds funny. I got your page. What's up?"
"It's not good news, Jesse. I know you're exhausted, but can you come back to the hospital?"
"What for?"
"Please, Jesse. Not over the phone." Amanda's voice broke and tears welled in her eyes.
Dread settled in Jesse's stomach. "What's happened? Is it Steve? Has he been shot?"
"No. Oh Jesse, it's awful!" Her breath caught on a sob. "Mark and Steve are in the morgue right now identifying a body. It's Carol, Jesse. Carol was murdered."
Jesse was stunned. A surge of adrenaline chased away his exhaustion. "I'll be there in twenty minutes," he promised.
When Jesse entered the path lab almost exactly twenty minutes later, Amanda was sitting behind her desk staring into space. Although no longer crying, he could see the remains of tears on her cheeks. She started when the door slipped out of his grasp and banged shut behind him.
Amanda gave Jesse a shaky smile. "I'm sure glad to see you."
Jesse shook his head. "I can't believe it. Where are Steve and Mark?"
"Still in with Carol. I told Ben Moeller to give them all the time they needed. I'm pretty sure Steve knew when he came in. I could tell something was wrong, I just didn't know what. Mark had to be in denial. That's the only way I can explain his attitude. I know Steve just wouldn't bring him here without preparing him first."
Jesse's gaze darted over Amanda's shoulder at the sound of slow, heavy footsteps coming down the hall. It only took a few seconds for Mark and Steve to come into sight. His unsettled stomach protested even further when he saw the look of utter devastation on Mark's face and Steve's tightly controlled grief. He approached them slowly not sure what to say. All his training as a doctor did not prepare him to comfort his best friends after this type of tragedy.
"Mark, Steve, Amanda called me at home. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"Thanks Jess," Steve said automatically.
"I think you better let me drive you home," Jesse said, concerned about the matching glazed looks his friends wore. "Someone can bring your car out to the beach house later."
"I don't understand," Mark said suddenly. "How could this happen? Who did this?" He turned and faced his son. "Who would want to do this to Carol?"
Steve winced at the depth of his father's anguish. "I don't know, Dad," he replied, fury choking his voice, "but we're going to find him and make sure he's punished."
Amanda laid a gentle hand on Mark's arm. "Why don't you let Jesse take you home now? Ben is going to do the autopsy, and he's going to turn everything he finds no matter how insignificant over to the police. We will find the person responsible for this."
"Oh no, I can't bear.please, Amanda could you do the.the autopsy? The thought of another stranger touching her.after everything she's been through.it's more than I can bear right now. I trust you. I know you'll treat her with respect."
As much as she wanted to, Amanda could not refuse Mark's request. Her best friend and mentor had just lost his only daughter to a violent crime and she couldn't change that. She could, however, put his mind at ease that in this traumatic time Carol would be treated as a person and not just another victim. "Of course, Mark," she assured him softly. "I'm sure Ben will understand."
Mark's shoulders sagged in relief and Steve pushed him gently toward Jesse. "Go with Jesse, Dad. I want to talk with Amanda for a minute, but I'll catch up."
"Come on, Mark," Jesse said, leading him away.
Steve waited until he was sure his dad and Jesse were out of earshot and then turned to face Amanda. "Dad shouldn't have asked you to do the autopsy."
"It's okay. I'll admit I'm not looking forward to it, but I know it's really important to Mark."
"If you don't do it, he'll never know the difference."
"But I'll know," Amanda said, "and, like you, I can't lie to your father. He sees right through me. Anyway, I feel so helpless right now. At least this way it feels like I'm doing something."
Steve bowed his head, overwhelmed at the depth of Amanda's friendship that she would put her personal feelings aside to honor his dad's request. "Thank you."
Amanda brushed his cheek with a kiss. "Go home. I'll see you later tomorrow."
Steve caught up with his dad and Jesse at the nurses' station where Jesse was signing a chart handed to him by the senior nurse on duty. Everyone wore sympathetic looks on their faces, but his grief was too fresh, too private and Steve wasn't ready to face them yet to collect their expressions of sympathy. Averting his gaze, he walked out the emergency room doors into the cool night air.
The drive to the beach house was as silent as the drive to the hospital had been just a few hours earlier. Occasionally, Steve could hear his dad sigh deeply and he knew Mark was trying to control his emotions at least until he could be alone. Steve looked at his watch. How different this night had turned out from what they had planned, he thought. If Carol had arrived safely, he imagined the three of them would be sitting out on the deck enjoying the cool spring evening and each other's company.
Jesse took the keys from Mark's trembling hand and opened the front door. He flipped on a light and then led Mark into the living room so he could sit down. Steve stood near the door as if seeing the house for the very first time. Finally, he came in and sat next to Mark.
"Dad, can I get you anything?"
Numbly, Mark shook his head. Jesse recognized the signs of shock and was concerned about how Mark would feel physically when the shock finally wore off. He sat on the edge of the coffee table so he could look Mark square in the eye.
"I think you need to lie down and try to get some rest."
"I don't think I could sleep."
"You need to try. Mark, so much has happened in a very short time and you're in shock. There's going to be more to deal with in the next few days. You need to take care of yourself." Jesse paused and added softly, "Wouldn't Carol want you to take care of yourself?"
Jesse knew by adding that last question he'd be using Mark's vulnerability, but it got the desired result. "I guess so."
"Come on, Dad."
Jesse watched as Steve guided Mark down the hall toward the master bedroom. He had never thought of his friend as old but, at that moment, Mark looked every one of his seventy plus years. Waited a few minutes so Steve could help Mark get settled, Jesse quietly slipped into the bedroom. He took a small envelope from his jacket pocket.
"Mark, I want you to take these," he said, shaking two capsules out of the envelope.
Mark shook his head vehemently. "I don't want them."
"And normally I'd agree with you, but tonight you don't get a say in the matter. I think it's a good idea for you to take them."
"Jesse's right. One night won't hurt. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."
Satisfied that Steve would make sure Mark took the pills, Jesse went back to the living room. His earlier adrenaline rush had faded and he was exhausted, but he needed to stay awake long enough to check on Steve. About 15 minutes later, Jesse heard footsteps coming down the hallway and looked up. Steve nodded at his questioning look.
"He fought it, but he's finally asleep."
"Good. I have two more. I'm hoping you'll be smart and take them too."
"No."
"Be reasonable. You need rest too."
"I should call Amanda."
"She's working and you know how she hates to be interrupted when she's working."
"Then I should check with Emma. See if she's found out anything."
"Steve, you need to stop being a cop. Emma has everything under control, and I'm sure she'll be in touch as soon as she knows something." Jesse laid a hand on Steve's arm. "She's a good cop, Steve. Let her do her job."
Steve's shoulders sagged. "I just feel so damn helpless."
Jesse set a glass of iced tea in front of Steve. "I understand that," he said, quietly. "I feel helpless too. Two of my best friends are in pain and there's nothing I can prescribe that will make the pain go away."
Silently, Steve sipped his tea. Jesse's words barely registered as he tried to sort through his grief, rage and helplessness. He'd seen his father cry tonight and it shook him. He couldn't ever remember seeing Mark cry not even when his beloved Katherine had died. Then Mark had sort of withdrawn into himself for a while as a way to deal with his grief leaving Steve and Carol to grieve alone. Maybe this time would be different, Steve thought as he fought to keep his eyes open.
Jess reached for the nearly empty glass in Steve's hand. "Come on, buddy. Let me walk you downstairs."
Steve lurched to his feet. He couldn't believe how fast exhaustion had overcome him. One minute he'd been wide awake drinking the iced tea, the next minute his eyelids felt like they were being weighted down with rocks. Through blurry eyes, he looked at Jesse with suspicion.
"You put those pills in that tea didn't you?
Jesse didn't deny it. "I did it for your own good. You were wired tighter than a spring and you need to get some rest if you're going to be any help to Mark or yourself."
"You had no right! I need to be there for Dad in case he needs something. I have to be ready when Emma calls."
Sighing in frustration Jesse said, "Mark will sleep all night just like you, and I'm spending the night because I'm too tired to drive home."
Steve was losing his battle against the drug. "I loved Carol so much," he blurted out. "I didn't tell her that enough. We didn't get along very well, but I did love her." Steve looked up at Jesse. "Do you think she knew how much I loved her?"
Jesse's heart constricted at the pain and uncertainty in his friend's voice. Under the sedative's influence, Steve's vulnerability had been allowed to break through his usual ironclad control. Jesse was sure Steve would be embarrassed at his emotional outburst if he even remembered it the next morning.
"What if she died wondering why I wasn't there to protect her? What if she died thinking I didn't love her?"
"She knew, Steve." Jesse soothed him. "I'm absolutely positive Carol knew that you loved her and that you'd move mountains and slay dragons to protect her."
Steve's only reply was a deep sigh as the sedative finally overtook him. Jesse snapped off the light and trudged wearily back upstairs. He stretched out on the long sofa and reached for the blanket Mark kept draped across the back. Before he could finish shaking it out, Jesse was asleep.