Hello, sorry this chapter took so long, it's just I didn't get a response
for the last chapter so I thought I'd give up. Anyway to cut a long story
short in my opinion a story that's been started has to be finished so
hopefully that's what I'm going to do. To all Nick fans out there I'm going
to start a new Nick story at the start of December so please look out for
that one. For now however please read on and review my story about Warrick.
This chapter is from his Point of View.
I hate hospitals. I think I've been in them way to many times in my life. 'Pain is purely psychosomatic' yeah of course it is. What dumbass came up with that? If it's purely psychosomatic then why the hell am I in agony right now? I don't even want to be in this stupid hospital. I could be at home licking my wounds, recovering in a place that's familiar to me. Not all the people I know coming in and looking at the beat up guy.
I know, I know that was harsh but it's true. I feel like a charity case even though the team aren't treating me like one. Wait until they find out why this happened. Oh the questions! I hate racists and racism itself but I never once thought that I'd be in the same position as I was so many years ago. I bet Nick's already told Grissom, actually Grissom probably figured it out himself, that guy is bright.
All the same, there's nothing to do in this damn hospital but to think, sleep and look up at the stark white ceiling and walls and wish I were somewhere else. Nick's coming in later, great. I would bet money on the fact that he'll bring Grissom. Well obviously I won't bet I gave that all up a long time ago. Someone's death on your conscience can do that to a person. No one ever blamed me directly but sometimes when her name's mentioned around the office I swear I can hear their thoughts. 'It's Warrick's fault that she died.'
When you look at me what do you see? A confident, attractive, young man who has his whole life ahead of him. Is that what you really see? If it is you don't know me at all. Most days I come to work and hope that there's a dangerous case that I have to go to. It's like that City High song. I heard it for the first time and I knew one single line of the lyrics just applied to me. 'Every day I wake up hoping to die,' Ok maybe it's a slight exaggeration but it's true for most of the time. My life is going nowhere. The only good thing is, or rather was, my job and that's been tainted.
And the only person I could turn to in the whole wide world has gone, my mom. No one knows. I didn't even tell Grissom. She died a couple of months ago; sudden heart attack. I bet it's all the stress I gave her. I took the day off and went to New York for her funeral. She's the only person in my life who has ever cared about me and stuck up for me and now I'm never going to see her again. She'd hate to see me like this. Bed ridden in hospital, I let her down so many times when she was alive and even when she's passed on I still manage to cock things up.
So many times I haven't been able to defend myself and now it's happening all over again. I always smile when I think of what she used to tell me whenever I was down. She used to pull me in close to her and whisper softly in my ear, 'Don't let anybody get you down boy, cos there ain't no one better than you.' Then she used to get her favourite scarf and wrap it around me and tell me that even when she wasn't around that she'd always be with me. All I had to do was have faith. I love that old scarf. It smells of her vanilla perfume. I bought her so many scarves over the years and she stuck to that one. I've got it now. Whenever I'm down I just wrap it around my neck and close my eyes and breathe in her, well her spirit anyway.
She always used to sing a song to me before I went to bed. She had the most beautiful voice; it still haunts my dreams and my waking thoughts. When she sang her whole heart went into the words, and even when she was tired or ill she still always found the strength needed to sing that one special song to me. It was one she made up when I was younger. She made it up because, as she said, 'you'll never hear it on the radio and no one will ever steal it from us.' And it's true. It's hers and mine song. I remember the words.
"There was a star, above in the sky, That comes to catch you whenever you cry, There's a moon that shines on you And follows you whatever you do And there's a sun just like you It shines the whole night through There's a river, that meets the sea, That meets the ocean, wild and free Now hush, goodnight, sleep tight, Just remember I'll be hugging you all night.'
She used to finish it off with a hug and a kiss on my forehead. I cried so many times when she sang me that song. Somehow, it made me think of the days when she wasn't going to be around to sing it to me, and I'd be left on my own to fill in the gaps. I still feel her around me all the time. She was an only child and so was I. My dad left when I was 3 and I found out a few years ago that he'd died. I was the only one she had on this earth so it makes sense that she'd come back and be with me. I wasn't there when she died. I'd talked to her the night before though. It's funny, that phone call was the strangest we'd ever had. I told her so many times that I loved her and missed her and she told me that even when she wasn't around that she'd always be there for me. Maybe she knew. Maybe she knew she was going to die. I'm just glad I told her how I felt. I don't remember saying goodbye at the end of the phone call.
That's my one regret in life, well apart from Holly. Mom always wanted to be cremated so I made sure I did that for her. I still have her ashes. I never knew where to scatter them. There never seemed a beautiful enough place for her. She was the most beautiful woman, outside and in, she deserved to be surrounded with equalling beauty.
I think about her a lot. I thought about her on the night of the attack. Walking home, dark and alone, she never would've approved. She would've whooped my behind if she knew.
The nurse just came in to tell me I have visitors. guess who? Now my body aches more with the pain of not having my mother here to get me through this. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, after all, it's true the only pain I'm feeling now is in my head so that can only mean one thing. Pain is psychosomatic.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it was alright and that you enjoyed it. Please I beg of you please R & R it would make my own little world a much nicer place to be. Thank you again. All reviews and feedback greatly appreciated and most certainly welcome. Until next time ladies and gentlemen . =) XX
I hate hospitals. I think I've been in them way to many times in my life. 'Pain is purely psychosomatic' yeah of course it is. What dumbass came up with that? If it's purely psychosomatic then why the hell am I in agony right now? I don't even want to be in this stupid hospital. I could be at home licking my wounds, recovering in a place that's familiar to me. Not all the people I know coming in and looking at the beat up guy.
I know, I know that was harsh but it's true. I feel like a charity case even though the team aren't treating me like one. Wait until they find out why this happened. Oh the questions! I hate racists and racism itself but I never once thought that I'd be in the same position as I was so many years ago. I bet Nick's already told Grissom, actually Grissom probably figured it out himself, that guy is bright.
All the same, there's nothing to do in this damn hospital but to think, sleep and look up at the stark white ceiling and walls and wish I were somewhere else. Nick's coming in later, great. I would bet money on the fact that he'll bring Grissom. Well obviously I won't bet I gave that all up a long time ago. Someone's death on your conscience can do that to a person. No one ever blamed me directly but sometimes when her name's mentioned around the office I swear I can hear their thoughts. 'It's Warrick's fault that she died.'
When you look at me what do you see? A confident, attractive, young man who has his whole life ahead of him. Is that what you really see? If it is you don't know me at all. Most days I come to work and hope that there's a dangerous case that I have to go to. It's like that City High song. I heard it for the first time and I knew one single line of the lyrics just applied to me. 'Every day I wake up hoping to die,' Ok maybe it's a slight exaggeration but it's true for most of the time. My life is going nowhere. The only good thing is, or rather was, my job and that's been tainted.
And the only person I could turn to in the whole wide world has gone, my mom. No one knows. I didn't even tell Grissom. She died a couple of months ago; sudden heart attack. I bet it's all the stress I gave her. I took the day off and went to New York for her funeral. She's the only person in my life who has ever cared about me and stuck up for me and now I'm never going to see her again. She'd hate to see me like this. Bed ridden in hospital, I let her down so many times when she was alive and even when she's passed on I still manage to cock things up.
So many times I haven't been able to defend myself and now it's happening all over again. I always smile when I think of what she used to tell me whenever I was down. She used to pull me in close to her and whisper softly in my ear, 'Don't let anybody get you down boy, cos there ain't no one better than you.' Then she used to get her favourite scarf and wrap it around me and tell me that even when she wasn't around that she'd always be with me. All I had to do was have faith. I love that old scarf. It smells of her vanilla perfume. I bought her so many scarves over the years and she stuck to that one. I've got it now. Whenever I'm down I just wrap it around my neck and close my eyes and breathe in her, well her spirit anyway.
She always used to sing a song to me before I went to bed. She had the most beautiful voice; it still haunts my dreams and my waking thoughts. When she sang her whole heart went into the words, and even when she was tired or ill she still always found the strength needed to sing that one special song to me. It was one she made up when I was younger. She made it up because, as she said, 'you'll never hear it on the radio and no one will ever steal it from us.' And it's true. It's hers and mine song. I remember the words.
"There was a star, above in the sky, That comes to catch you whenever you cry, There's a moon that shines on you And follows you whatever you do And there's a sun just like you It shines the whole night through There's a river, that meets the sea, That meets the ocean, wild and free Now hush, goodnight, sleep tight, Just remember I'll be hugging you all night.'
She used to finish it off with a hug and a kiss on my forehead. I cried so many times when she sang me that song. Somehow, it made me think of the days when she wasn't going to be around to sing it to me, and I'd be left on my own to fill in the gaps. I still feel her around me all the time. She was an only child and so was I. My dad left when I was 3 and I found out a few years ago that he'd died. I was the only one she had on this earth so it makes sense that she'd come back and be with me. I wasn't there when she died. I'd talked to her the night before though. It's funny, that phone call was the strangest we'd ever had. I told her so many times that I loved her and missed her and she told me that even when she wasn't around that she'd always be there for me. Maybe she knew. Maybe she knew she was going to die. I'm just glad I told her how I felt. I don't remember saying goodbye at the end of the phone call.
That's my one regret in life, well apart from Holly. Mom always wanted to be cremated so I made sure I did that for her. I still have her ashes. I never knew where to scatter them. There never seemed a beautiful enough place for her. She was the most beautiful woman, outside and in, she deserved to be surrounded with equalling beauty.
I think about her a lot. I thought about her on the night of the attack. Walking home, dark and alone, she never would've approved. She would've whooped my behind if she knew.
The nurse just came in to tell me I have visitors. guess who? Now my body aches more with the pain of not having my mother here to get me through this. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, after all, it's true the only pain I'm feeling now is in my head so that can only mean one thing. Pain is psychosomatic.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it was alright and that you enjoyed it. Please I beg of you please R & R it would make my own little world a much nicer place to be. Thank you again. All reviews and feedback greatly appreciated and most certainly welcome. Until next time ladies and gentlemen . =) XX