I GOT 31 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY! I'm going to stop typing in caps now cause it's getting pretty annoying! I'm going to answer the reviews of the people who boosted me up there!!! Virtual ice cream for you all! C C C C (look at them sideways, they're ice cream cones!

Marionette: I'm glad I cheered you up! The name Shnifflevonvanderwerkenshizner was actually inspired by my elementary school principal's name! Only a part of it though!

Lyn Black: It was about time for straight-laced Percy to have a change all right! All hail P.Weezy! Hmm…The Calling, I've heard of them but I can't seem to remember what they sing, next time you review leave a couple titles please!

PotterPerson: That was good, keep reviewing. Lol.

DarkAngelGirl: Thanks for being such a dedicated reviewer! I hope this chapter lives up to all the hype!

Also thanks to my friend who has been giving me personal reviews!

Disclaimer: Only the plotline is mine, I'm just borrowing the rest for a little while.

Here we go…the chapter you've all been waiting for!!!

******

Chapter Nine

Harry Potter had been thinking all day. This was especially hard since thinking was a thing that he didn't usually do. As scary as it was, he had to make this a better than good chapter. He had a strange feeling that people were actually waiting for Dobby's first lesson. "Here goes nothing…" he sighed and began to type.

Chapter Nine:

Professor Dobby's First Lesson

Harry Potter mustered up all the courage he had and walked into the DADA classroom. He had faced death on numerous occasions but nothing could compare to what was awaiting him. Ron and Hermione were already seated and furiously taking notes. Hermione was taking notes anyway; Ron was paying Seamus Finnigan to write his for him. Harry sat next to Ron and gazed around the classroom. There were socks everywhere. It was quite a scary sight. But it also explained the stench in the room. Harry even saw a pair of his own socks that had been missing since last year. He shuddered at the thought of Dobby going through his things.

Harry made a mental list in his head of all the things that he had been missing. There was his toothbrush, his comb, his hair gel, eight pairs of socks, and his favorite pair of boxer shorts. He decided to ask Dobby if he knew the whereabouts of his belongings. He really missed those shorts, they had moving broomsticks and flying snitches on them. He brushed away the sadness of losing his favorite shorts and continued to write.

The whole class grew silent as Professor Dobby walked in looking very distinguished indeed. Or as distinguished as a house elf can look anyway. He had on black official Hogwarts robes that were about six sizes too big and large glasses (that looked suspiciously like Harry's missing pair) that he struggled to keep on his long pencil-like nose. "Dobby is very happy to be here today, yes he is!" squeaked Dobby while fighting to stand on a pile of books so that the class could see him properly. "Dobby will teach you how to protect yourself from bad wizards such as Mr. Malfoy," he said quietly. An astonished gasp went through the class (it wasn't that astonishing though considering that Pavarti and Lavender were the only people who didn't know that Luscius Malfoy was a death eater, but that was only because they were too busy chatting about Witch Weekly's Wizard of the Month). "Oh no!" cried Dobby in horror, "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!" He then proceeded to banging his head on every desk six times apiece.

Harry chuckled to himself. He remembered when he had first encountered Dobby. That was an event that he would never forget (unfortunately).

"Will please listen you all me to Dobby Professor," declared Dobby when he was done. He was still quite dizzy after all those head injuries. "Me will teach you the one thing that He-Who's-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated is weakened by. The one thing he fears more than good chocolate chip cookies is…" Dobby paused and looked around to see the full affect his little speech was making; five kids were asleep, "…kittens. The Dark Lord fears fluffy kittens and no one knows more about fluffy kittens than me, Professor the Dobby." He was still a little dizzy.

Harry could hardly believe his ears. Voldemort was afraid of kittens? Kittens? His deep thoughts were soon interrupted by Hermione's yell of "I KNEW IT!" and by the noise Dobby was making. He was having a quite a hard time passing out the kittens. Every time one meowed (which was about every 10 seconds) he would mistake it as a cry of pain and bang is own head on the desk as punishment for hurting the kitten.

Harry gazed down at the kitten he was just handed. The sight of his own kitten soon abolished his thoughts of kittens being harmless. It strangely enough resembled Snookums, the Shnifflevonvanderwerkenshizner that Hagrid owned. His thoughts were interrupted again by Dobby's shouts of " Dismissed are you all, Harry Potter the Famous, please me see class after." Harry sighed. This year was going to be more complicated than he had in mind.

Harry was pretty happy with this new chapter. Dobby was very in character. It was kind of hard to write him out of character anyway. Harry's brain began to brew once again when he remembered what the next class was going to be. Home Ec with the new, improved, curly haired Snape. This was going to be fun…

******

A/N Well, I hope that lives up to what you were all expecting! I'm pretty pleased with it!!!! Virtual ice cream to everyone who reviews!

Disclaimer (again): the phrase "He-Who's-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated" belongs to another fanfic author. I believe its from the story "Harry Potter and the Excruciatingly Pointless Fanfic." Please correct me if I'm wrong. It's a great fic. Check it out!

REVIEW PLEASE!