It's a WondERful Life
AUTHOR: Emma Stuart CATEGORY: Romance/Drama SPOILERS: None DISCLAIMER: I do not own ER, or any of the characters. I also don't own the movie I have borrowed from shamelessly, but that hasn't stopped me yet.
SUMMARY: When she contemplates taking her life just before Christmas, Abby finds some unexpected help from a former colleague.
ARCHIVE: Ask and ye shall receive
Chapter 5. Silent Night
Abby shrank back. "I think I've seen enough."
"Sorry, Abby, you've got to see it all." Grasping her hand, he propelled her down the stairs and into the Emergency Ward. All was hustle and bustle, as usual. But she did not recognize very many people. Oh, wait; there was Frank over at admissions, griping to Dr. Lewis, who was munching on a bagel and ignoring him-nothing new there. And Haleh and Lydia were huddled together over a set of forms, apparently deciphering what was written in the illegible hand of some doctor. And there-there was Dr. Weaver, moving swiftly down the hall and calling for Dr. Chen. But, where was Luka? Where was Carter?
As if he could read her mind, Mark responded, "Luka returned to Croatia after Carol left for Seattle. He was too despondent, and felt that he couldn't make any friends."
"Nonsense," Abby responded briskly, "Luka is one of the kindest men I know. He wouldn't have any trouble making friends."
Mark looked at her evenly. "But you see, you were in the right place at the right time to help him adjust to Carol's departure. And you helped him get through some tough emotional times. Only-you aren't here, so he grew more isolated and felt he needed to return home."
"What a loss for this hospital," Abby breathed. Fearfully, she looked up at Mark. "What about Carter?"
Mark was silent. Abby glared at him as the silence stretched on. "Mark, you're scaring me. Where is John?"
Mark held a finger to his lips and pointed to the conversation that was taking place at the admissions desk. Malik had strolled up and was talking to Lydia and Haleh, who were now standing around a half-empty punch bowl, sipping on cups of fruit punch.
"Shhhhh." Mark silenced her, "listen." Abby drew nearer to the group, as Mark discretely faded into the background.
"Mrs. Carter was in today." Haleh announced, shaking her head. "That poor old woman."
"That rich old woman," snorted Malik. Haleh and Lydia both glared at him.
"That's just ignorant, Malik," Haleh exclaimed. "How rich would you feel if you'd lost your favorite grandson?" She shook her head in despair. "And to lose him in such a way-a talented young doctor, dying of a drug overdose."
"What?" gasped Abby, "What are you talking about?"
The three nurses looked blankly at Abby. "What business is it of yours?" Malik asked huffily.
"I-" Abby hesitated and continued, "I know Mrs. Carter."
"Humpf," responded Haleh, "then you know that her grandson, John Carter, died of an overdose last year." At the shocked look on Abby's face, she continued in a gentler tone, "He was sneaking drugs to cope with the pain he had after he was stabbed that awful Valentine's Day. Guess it just got out of hand, and he was found dead on the bathroom floor of his grandmother's house." She shook her head sadly, "That poor woman, having to find him like that."
Lydia added softly, "The real shame was that none of us noticed anything wrong with him. We thought he was getting help, and life being crazy down here, didn't take the time to reach out to him. Not that it would have helped, though-he was a pretty private person."
The three nurses noticed Dr. Weaver approaching. "Gotta go," whispered Haleh, "Work to do." They scattered to various exam rooms, leaving Abby standing numbly in the middle of the hallway. Mark slowly approached her from behind. "Abby," he said quietly, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
"No," Abby blurted, "This is all wrong. He didn't die, he couldn't have!"
"Abby, you were the one who recognized the signs of his addiction, who caught him with the drugs and reported him."
Abby looked at him blankly, "I know, but others would have noticed eventually-"
"Others didn't," Mark responded tersely. "Hell, I didn't, Dr. Weaver didn't, Peter Benton didn't, and we had worked with him for years. You noticed and reported it, and, little as he appreciated it, we were able to get him into therapy. And it saved his life." He stopped, and continued, "But since you don't exist, no one noticed-or if anyone did, they didn't have the courage to confront him."
Abby sobbed out, "But why?"
"Who knows why?" Mark spread his hands helplessly in front of him. "Who knows why you've made the choices that you have in your life. It may not have been perfect, but you had a pretty good life, Abby. You influenced people in ways that you weren't always aware of, and had a major affect on a number of lives around you." He sighed heavily, "I should know, I felt really sorry for myself before I died-poor me, it was so unfair, blahblahblah. Then I sat back and looked at my relationship with my father before he died, my daughters, my wife, the work I did in the ER. It wasn't perfect, and I made a lot of mistakes, but I lived a wonderful life-and so did you."
Abby pushed away from him, tears running down her face. "You're right, you're right-oh, God, I'm so sorry for wanting to die. I've got to get out of here. I've got to get back." She raced toward the doors."
"Wait, Abby-" Mark called out, but she had already burst out the doors and away from him. "You're welcome," he said softly. A small smile on his face, he gazed fondly around the ER, and looked heavenward. "Not bad for the first time out of the chute, huh?" he asked. Turning back towards the admissions area, where Kerry and Frank still stood, he raised his arms over his head and shouted, "Merry Christmas, you wonderful old ER!" and faded away in a sparkling of light.
Kerry stared toward the doors, her jaw agape. "Wasn't that--?" she asked Frank.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't see anything, and I'm definitely not having any more punch tonight." Frank replied firmly.
AUTHOR: Emma Stuart CATEGORY: Romance/Drama SPOILERS: None DISCLAIMER: I do not own ER, or any of the characters. I also don't own the movie I have borrowed from shamelessly, but that hasn't stopped me yet.
SUMMARY: When she contemplates taking her life just before Christmas, Abby finds some unexpected help from a former colleague.
ARCHIVE: Ask and ye shall receive
Chapter 5. Silent Night
Abby shrank back. "I think I've seen enough."
"Sorry, Abby, you've got to see it all." Grasping her hand, he propelled her down the stairs and into the Emergency Ward. All was hustle and bustle, as usual. But she did not recognize very many people. Oh, wait; there was Frank over at admissions, griping to Dr. Lewis, who was munching on a bagel and ignoring him-nothing new there. And Haleh and Lydia were huddled together over a set of forms, apparently deciphering what was written in the illegible hand of some doctor. And there-there was Dr. Weaver, moving swiftly down the hall and calling for Dr. Chen. But, where was Luka? Where was Carter?
As if he could read her mind, Mark responded, "Luka returned to Croatia after Carol left for Seattle. He was too despondent, and felt that he couldn't make any friends."
"Nonsense," Abby responded briskly, "Luka is one of the kindest men I know. He wouldn't have any trouble making friends."
Mark looked at her evenly. "But you see, you were in the right place at the right time to help him adjust to Carol's departure. And you helped him get through some tough emotional times. Only-you aren't here, so he grew more isolated and felt he needed to return home."
"What a loss for this hospital," Abby breathed. Fearfully, she looked up at Mark. "What about Carter?"
Mark was silent. Abby glared at him as the silence stretched on. "Mark, you're scaring me. Where is John?"
Mark held a finger to his lips and pointed to the conversation that was taking place at the admissions desk. Malik had strolled up and was talking to Lydia and Haleh, who were now standing around a half-empty punch bowl, sipping on cups of fruit punch.
"Shhhhh." Mark silenced her, "listen." Abby drew nearer to the group, as Mark discretely faded into the background.
"Mrs. Carter was in today." Haleh announced, shaking her head. "That poor old woman."
"That rich old woman," snorted Malik. Haleh and Lydia both glared at him.
"That's just ignorant, Malik," Haleh exclaimed. "How rich would you feel if you'd lost your favorite grandson?" She shook her head in despair. "And to lose him in such a way-a talented young doctor, dying of a drug overdose."
"What?" gasped Abby, "What are you talking about?"
The three nurses looked blankly at Abby. "What business is it of yours?" Malik asked huffily.
"I-" Abby hesitated and continued, "I know Mrs. Carter."
"Humpf," responded Haleh, "then you know that her grandson, John Carter, died of an overdose last year." At the shocked look on Abby's face, she continued in a gentler tone, "He was sneaking drugs to cope with the pain he had after he was stabbed that awful Valentine's Day. Guess it just got out of hand, and he was found dead on the bathroom floor of his grandmother's house." She shook her head sadly, "That poor woman, having to find him like that."
Lydia added softly, "The real shame was that none of us noticed anything wrong with him. We thought he was getting help, and life being crazy down here, didn't take the time to reach out to him. Not that it would have helped, though-he was a pretty private person."
The three nurses noticed Dr. Weaver approaching. "Gotta go," whispered Haleh, "Work to do." They scattered to various exam rooms, leaving Abby standing numbly in the middle of the hallway. Mark slowly approached her from behind. "Abby," he said quietly, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
"No," Abby blurted, "This is all wrong. He didn't die, he couldn't have!"
"Abby, you were the one who recognized the signs of his addiction, who caught him with the drugs and reported him."
Abby looked at him blankly, "I know, but others would have noticed eventually-"
"Others didn't," Mark responded tersely. "Hell, I didn't, Dr. Weaver didn't, Peter Benton didn't, and we had worked with him for years. You noticed and reported it, and, little as he appreciated it, we were able to get him into therapy. And it saved his life." He stopped, and continued, "But since you don't exist, no one noticed-or if anyone did, they didn't have the courage to confront him."
Abby sobbed out, "But why?"
"Who knows why?" Mark spread his hands helplessly in front of him. "Who knows why you've made the choices that you have in your life. It may not have been perfect, but you had a pretty good life, Abby. You influenced people in ways that you weren't always aware of, and had a major affect on a number of lives around you." He sighed heavily, "I should know, I felt really sorry for myself before I died-poor me, it was so unfair, blahblahblah. Then I sat back and looked at my relationship with my father before he died, my daughters, my wife, the work I did in the ER. It wasn't perfect, and I made a lot of mistakes, but I lived a wonderful life-and so did you."
Abby pushed away from him, tears running down her face. "You're right, you're right-oh, God, I'm so sorry for wanting to die. I've got to get out of here. I've got to get back." She raced toward the doors."
"Wait, Abby-" Mark called out, but she had already burst out the doors and away from him. "You're welcome," he said softly. A small smile on his face, he gazed fondly around the ER, and looked heavenward. "Not bad for the first time out of the chute, huh?" he asked. Turning back towards the admissions area, where Kerry and Frank still stood, he raised his arms over his head and shouted, "Merry Christmas, you wonderful old ER!" and faded away in a sparkling of light.
Kerry stared toward the doors, her jaw agape. "Wasn't that--?" she asked Frank.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't see anything, and I'm definitely not having any more punch tonight." Frank replied firmly.