Chapter Thirteen: They're Back!
A/N: Welcome to the last chapter!
Sorry Cera-san. I forgot again. Silly me.
As for the details of the monsters, they're not THAT good. I had to use mostly basic words sine my vocabulary is limited. I want you guys to be able to imagine the whole thing like an Anime that's all. Thanks for the compliments though. ^U^
Fine, fine. You guys win. Thanks for describing it Ruby. I had no idea at the time. And I'm not so proud of that other Romance fic either. (I don't really like being reminded about it. *shudders*) You're going to get it. Not sure if it's all right but that's up to you readers! If possible, stay away from THAT Romance fic. *shivers* The one for the last chapter was just for humour and I'm glad you liked that. The one in here is a little different though.
Let's see if you guys have ever imagined THIS coming.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Saiyuki. Don't believe me? Ask him. *points to Hakuruyu who's going on a flamethrower spree*
By: Yamamoto Kou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
With the help of Konzeon Bosotsu, Haku managed to drag the unconscious ones to Heaven and put them each into a room. At night, God decided that there is going to be a small celebration and a little discussion to surprise the others that night. Some small decorations were put up for tonight. They'll get the big ones out when Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, Lirin, Kou, Doku and Yoane find out. They love to have fun now and try to find as much reasons as possible to party. After the discussion, they partied!
Some gods and goddesses were doing the limbo, some played peek under the girls' skirts (This game is played by the bravest, the perverts and the guys who go on suicide missions. A lot of slapping was heard.) and some chose to have a competition with arm wrestling, WWF wrestling, (those two games allowed the girls to join in after some persuasions *goddesses shook their fists menacingly*) and sumo wrestling (there has to be some fat gods somewhere). Some played with the piñata, some played 'Truth or Dare' and 'Spin the Bottle' and some played 'the first one to go drunk and drop loses'. Some danced, some sang karaoke, some knocked the nearest god/goddesses to them unconscious with a stick and some pig out. But they all made sure that a charm was put over the unconscious ones except Nataku so that they won't wake up and find out before the time comes. Heaven became slacker over a thousand years ago when God rediscovered that fun is a possible thing and makes people feel great. Including himself. Li Touten was such a bore. He went on and on about stuff that sounds important when they were all trash talk. Besides, it is the age where gods aren't relied on so much and they had all the free time they want.
God: It feels good to have a reason to party. *blows one of those cardboard horns*
Teia: (Reminder: She's God's wife and Yosuki's mom) *rolling up the sleeves of her dress to get ready for the WWF challenge*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: *heads for the arm wrestling match* You said it. *flexed her arm and made a victory gesture as she goes closer*
Jiroushin: *entered the sumo wrestling competition even when he's not fat*
Goujun (a.k.a Hakuruyu): *playing Truth or Dare* Kyu! *pushes the red checker that means dare*
One of the Three Buddhas: You sure you're not going to push the blue one? (Blue stands for truth.)
Goujun: Kyu! *nods*
One of the Three Buddhas: You asked for it.........
Haku: We are so definitely gonna have another celebration tomorrow! *drinks some sake*
Yosuki: *finishing her 6th barrel of demon wine (this stuff belongs to the author Nataku Taishi and can be found in his fic 'Gyokumen Koushu Strikes Back' which is very funny. Please read it. I guarantee that it's good for a laugh) and looks like she's about to drop drunk but is now opening the 7th barrel*
Nataku: *woke up due to noise and heads over to Gods table* You guys started without me! *pouts*
Haku: No we didn't. You just missed five minutes. There's still three hundred and fifty five more minutes to go.
Nataku: *looks at all the activities going on* Yahoo! *heads over to limbo* P-A-R-T-Y!!!
Another one of the Three Buddhas: *one of the ones hitting the gods/goddesses nearest to them* Take that! *knocks a drunken god over with his stick* Hah! *walking around and finds that Yosuki is close by* Aha! *goes over and swings the stick*
Yosuki: *is very drunk but somehow managed to duck, punch the guy in the stomach and continue to finish the barrel of the last remaining drops of wine*
Teia: Oi! Yosuki! Come over and join the fun! *proceeds to give a Rock Bottom to the upcoming guy*
Crowd: *going wild and placing bets*
Yosuki: *looks blankly at her mom, the crowd, then her barrel and decides to go for wrestling*
Haku: *now trying with the piñata*
Nataku: *starts to pig out happily*
God: *grabs a stick and starts hitting the other gods/goddesses*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: *heads over to where the karaoke set is after losing to the last of the Three Buddhas*
Jiroushin: *won first place despite his skinniness and age*
Goujun: *found asleep in the punch*
Teia: *sweat dropping very heavily*
Crowd: *goes super, ultra, mega wild*
Why? Yosuki defeated the top ten and won it all. And she did it drunk. There were only two guys in the top ten. The rest of them are female.
Yosuki: *proceeded back to the demon wine and started on the 8th barrel*
Gods and goddesses were wondering how could she take this stuff and managed drink more than a barrel. So far, the record was half a barrel. God himself wondered if it would be wise to let her have all the demon wine that had ever been in stock. There were too many of them in Heaven and mostly left untouched.
Nataku: *asks for the25th time* How can she drink so much?
Haku: Like I said, she can sleep with her eyes open and responds just like when she's awake. She does that sometimes. Looks like she's sleepwalking and sleep drinking at the same time. She's one heavy sleeper and drinker.
Nataku: Man, she even won the WWF challenge drunk AND asleep! Not to mention breaking the record for drinking the most demon wine! When she's good, she's good. Hope she'll look for a boyfriend because *straightens hair* I'm still available.
And so...... insert musical notes here The party went on all night! insert musical notes here
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It was already the next day but they had to wait till the afternoon before all of them woke up. Because of that, they had a lot of time to get things ready.
Sanzo: *rubbed his head and looked around* Hm? *gets out of bed quickly* Isn't this place......
Lirin: HEVAN! We get to be in Heaven! We get to be in Heaven! Yay! *runs around and around*
Kou: What on Earth are the gods thinking of?! I mean, they don't like youkais so why put HERE of ALL places?
Yoane: I'm not sure Kougaiji-sama. But it's good to see you again though. *smiles*
Kou: Feels good to be outta there too. *flexes* Which reminds me.
Doku: We're starving.
Gojyo: Where is everybody any way?
Hakkai: Heaven didn't have a lot of people walking around. Remember?
Gojyo: Oh ya. These memories are starting to creep me out a bit.
Sanzo: They should be in the main hall or something. *looks away*
Gojyo: Hah! If I remember right, I had a higher rank than you! About the only thing you do is paper work! AND...... You're-
Sanzo: *getting irritated* Don't say it.
Gojyo: You're that crazy yubaba's nephew! You're related to her!!! *laughs really hard* I can't believe it!!! *laughs so hard and rolls all over the ground*
Sanzo: -_-+++++++++++++ URUSEI!!! *gets out his harisen and quickly gives him an almighty whap*
Those who look on: .
Gojyo: *had an incredibly big smoking bump on his head and quickly rubs it* Ch. It's true!
Hakkai: Ano... Where's Haku and Nataku? ^ ^
Nataku: What took you guys so long to wake up? *steps out from round the corner*
Haku: Oi, baka ero-kappa. You slept so well that I saw you drool! *steps out from the corner as well*
Gojyo: Dareda ero-kappa da!? (Thanks to Mei Cera's fic, I learned the words.) *gets ready for a fist fight*
Haku: I thought you guys would like some lunch.
As if on cue, the smell of a perfect lunch started to waft trough the air. Kou, Doku, Lirin, Yoane, Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo suddenly turned beady eyed as their stomach growled. They growled so loudly that it shook the very foundations of Heaven. There was no god or goddesses in Heaven that couldn't hear it all. They all giggled. The causes of those incredibly loud growls then turned red in the face
Haku: Thought so. You know where to get breakfast right?
Hakkai: Yes.
Kou: What about us?
Haku: Just go with them. *leaves*
Nataku: *leaves too*
After a moment of pause, they stampeded over to the food court!
If you look at it like a horse race......
Narrator: In first place, looks like its Lirin but wait! Sanzo seems to be coming out front! The others are struggling to get up to lead and- HOLY *BEEP* IT'S HAKKAI AND YOANE TAKING THE LEAD AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Gojyo, Lirin and Sanzo are trying to get in front. Doku seems to be gaining for third but- WAIT A MINIUTE!! DID HAKKAI JUST SHOVE YOANE TO SECOND PLACE? THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE FOLKS!!!! And so it's neck to neck but where is Kou?! And there he is and he's coming up like lightning and catching up after that incident when Yoane pushed him behind. But it looks like... OH YES IT IS!!! KOU HAD GAINED THE LEAD!!!!
No, this is not OOC (Out Of Character). This is WAH (We Are Hungry).
When they finally get to the food court, they raided they're lunches like savages. They ripped and tear at their food with no mercy! They are now practically licking their plates clean!! If only a giant Peking Roast Duck can see them now!!!
Half an hour (and seventy four piles of sparkly clean plates) later......
Hakkai: *wipes mouth daintily with a napkin after he ate like a cannibal* That was good.
Everyone else: *either nods they're heads or plainly said 'yes it was'*
Sanzo: *walked out of the court*
Gojyo: Oi, droopy-eyed monk! Where do you think you're going?
Sanzo: *took out his paper fan and made a gesture as if sharpening it* To find the bakasaru! *leaves*
Gojyo: Hey! Wait up! I'm going to give him a good pounding! He's probably fat and slow by now. *leaves with him*
Hakkai: Yare, yare. *follows them*
Others: *shrugs and follows anyway*
Sanzo asked a few gods and goddesses where was Goku. They simply smiled or laughed out loud but nothing could be gotten from them.
Sanzo/Gojyo/Hakkai: [This is strange. Heaven is supposed to be dull. The most boring place that ever existed and then this happened. Haku and Nataku did say something about this. Where are they anyway?]
The Kou-Ikkou simply tagged along and looked around. They finally had the freedom they want. No Gyokumen Koshu, no Gyumao and no Nii either. They were enjoying life now.
The three asked and asked and walked and walked. They soon found themselves at the main central. They might as well ask God. But when they opened the door, they could see that it was packed in there and they decided that now wasn't a very good time. They decided to try somewhere else.
When they left, the gods all stopped their pointless chatter. It was all a scam to make a distraction.
God: Now! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! *heads over to another door*
Others: *followed*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: This is so worth the wait! *leaves quickly*
Jiroushin: I'm just as exited!
Goujun: *flew past* Kyu! *turned to Jiroushin and snorted flame on him before proceeding outside*
Jiroushin: Pig headed dragon. *leaves*
Teia: *went over to her husbands side* This will be one of the biggest celebrations yet!
God: And I can't wait to get their faces with this! *holds up a digital camera* It will be good to make Heaven's history more interesting!
Yosuki: *plainly followed*
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Both the Sanzo and Kou-Ikkous decided to check out the garden behind the main central. They shortly found Haku just lying against a tree and Nataku was skimming pebbles over the lake.
Sanzo: Oi! You told us Goku is here!!!
Gojyo: We've been searching for about one freaking hour now! Right after lunch!
Hakkai: Can you please tell us where he is? I want to see if he's all right.
Kou: Besides, he owes me.
Lirin: I wanna beat him up!
Haku: ^-^+++++
Meanwhile, all the gods and goddesses of Heaven have reached their hiding places. They waited for the signal. Nataku was trying very hard to hold back his smile. Haku was by now very good at putting on straight faces.
Sanzo: Well?!
Gojyo: Spill it!!!
Hakkai: Onegai. ^ ^
Kou: Now.
Lirin: Ya!!!! I can't wait to see how fat he is!!!!
Yoane/Doku: *watching with curiosity and interest*
Haku: *opened his mouth but all that came out was a chuckle so he closed him again*
Nataku: *was looking and that chuckle had made him release his buried burst of laughter*
This set of a chain reaction as one by one, the gods and goddesses rolled out of their hiding places among the bushes and laughed their head off. They couldn't take the suspense anymore. Yosuki just plainly walked out of her hiding place to turn to a nearby tree and tried very hard to stifle the laughter and tears coming from her eyes. She had never laughed this much before. Nataku had dropped to the ground with his legs kicking up in the air and hit the ground with his fist but couldn't stop laughing as tears rolled down his cheeks. Haku himself was desperately trying to stand upright and stop his now almost uncontrollable laughter.
The rest of them had no clue what was going on.
Lirin: *tugged at her oniichan's sleeve* Have they gone insane?
Kou: *looks around him* Maybe.
Sanzo: ... [What on Earth is going on here?]
Gojyo: OI! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?????
Haku: *managed to get himself to calm down (a bit)* Goku is standing right here!
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: Where? *looks around*
Everyone Else: *bursts into a new fit of laughter*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: They're making a riot!! *rolling in the dirt uncontrollably*
Jiroushin: HAKU!!!! *laughs* STOP!!!! *laughs* THEM!!!!!! *laughs* ALREADY!!!! *laughs* I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!! *busts into some super loud laughter and tries to gasp for air like a goldfish out of water*
Haku: *manages to stop laughing again for the second time* So, you don't see him yet?
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: No. *very annoyed and confused*
Haku: IT'S ME!!! I'M GOKU!!! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!! *doubles over laughing again*
A pause issued between each member of the Sanzo/Kou Ikkou before some reactions finally made an appearance.
Lirin- Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish and pointed at Haku. She also kept saying "Your not Goku! He's fat!"
Yoane- Strains her eyes when looking at Haku. "It can't be."
Doku- Picks up a nearby twig and unsuccessfully tries to poke him with it.
Kou- Picks up a laughing Nataku and shakes him. "Oi! Is this a joke?" Shakes him more desperately as it hit him full in the head that it was true.
Hakkai- Takes off his monocle and wipes it. He puts it on. He takes it off and wiped it again before putting it back on again. This continued for some time. His smile was very...... weird.
Gojyo- Looks at Haku, shakes his head and goes over to a near by tree to knock his head for all he's worth. He kept repeating "I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming. I had way too many sake and cigarettes. I must be dreaming........."
Sanzo- Had left his mouth open and drool was starting to be visible. It took him a few more minutes to recover. He took out his paper fan and tried to whack Haku with it. "BAKASARU!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER!!!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!!" Proceeds to chase the very agile Haku, or should I say Goku, who manages to dodge him with breeze while laughing hard.
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When the sun decides to descend into the misty abyss beyond the mountains, the lights were all finally put up and they can all have a REAL celebration. The activities from last night are now on. With some extra editions.
There were kissing contests, bowling contests, drawing contests, sake drinking contest, Coke drinking contest, magic duels, short marathons, musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey (for the kids), break dancing contest, dare contests, breaking stuff contests, eating contests, slap your arse contests (for some unknown reason), riding contests, racing, gambling and a lot more.
Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai, Kou, Doku and Yoane had joined in the fun but Sanzo will not smile and is still trying to find a chance to get that bakasaru hard. Everyone has finally accepted the fact that Haku is Goku. What they couldn't really forgive was why they didn't tell.
Flashback.
God: We wanted to see the look on your faces badly! *checks out the pictures from his camera* These are really good you know.
End of Flashback.
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: -_-+++++++ *how they all longed to tar and feather him and burn the evidence*
But Lirin was hiding among the Sakura trees. She doesn't feels like partying at the moment. In fact, she wasn't really genki then. She just stared at the petals that gently fall to the ground as the wind blows them off.
Haku: What are you doing here? *puts down the 16 barrels* Aren't you going to have some fun?
Lirin: ...... I hate Gyumao a lot. I can't believe that he beat me so easily. I hate that. And to make things worst, you're better than me. It's not fair! I should be the one who got better! *puts on a face and turns away*
Haku: So what your saying is that you're weak? Do you really think about all that? *head cocked to one side and places both hands behind his head* Even I don't think this much before I lost my friends.
Lirin: *her back facing Haku* Of course!! You don't notice anything!!! My mom constantly threatened Oniichan and we couldn't do a thing to help him!!! I HATE HER FOR THAT!!! *crosses her arms and tears were on her face* Why do you guys have to get a better life than us??? You were always Baldie Sanzo's pet and you guys didn't suffer as much as we have!!!! I REALLY HATE THAT!!! *sobbing sounds and be heard*
Haku: *stares upwards at the appearing stars for a while then looks at Lirin* No, I'm not Sanzo's pet!!! I just owe him one. I never go back on my debt!! Besides, he's my ... *looks for a fitting word* friend. Gojyo and Hakkai are my friends too. They're as close as I can get to a real family. Consider yourself lucky to have an oniichan. Besides, *turns around* getting stronger isn't as easy as you think.
Lirin: Hontoni deska? *rubs away her tears*
Haku: *turns around again* You can do it too. I just got a head start that's all. I never thought I could be this smart but it happens.
Lirin: *by now completely wipes tears away and turns around to face Haku* But I'll catch up!!!! I'll be way better than you!!! *suddenly curious* Why don't you eat much anymore anyway? *eyes turn beady and narrow at him*
Haku: Things had happened. ^-^; *tries to change the subject* Now are you going to have fun or what?! *offers a hand* The others are having a pretty good time.
Lirin: *stands up by herself* Thanks for the hand but I've got to go!!! *starts running off but sticks her tongue out at him first* Arigatou!!!!
Haku: *smiled, looked around and picks up all 16 barrels and continues to head for his destination before a few certain gods find out*
Lirin looked around and around. So many coloured lights, so much food, and so many games! It got her all exited. Then she found her oniichan along with Yoane and Doku.
Kou had entered the dare contests. He was one of the unlucky ones to be dared to cross dress. (He he he.) He was unlucky because this was worse than putting a scorpion down your pants or walking through fire. He was currently wearing a cheongsam with red high-heeled shoes. Yoane struggled not to laugh and fall over as she helped him to apply the makeup. Doku wasn't helpful either . Kou had his arms crossed and is not look very happy.
Yoane: Kougaiji-sama! *giggled*
Doku: Don't forget these! *waves the stockings about*
Lirin: *runs over to her oniichan and leaped onto him* Oniichan! Or should I say... Oneeja!!!! *laughs while clinging on to Kou*
Kou: -_- This is not funny.
To Kougaiji fans: This is not making fun of him. This is for fun and entertainment purposes only.
Meanwhile...
Jiroushin: SHOW YOUR SUMO STUFF!!!!!
God: *only wearing a piece of cloth like what real sumos wear* Yosh!! *shakes his butt before taking the stance*
Gojyo: *lays down his hand* Straight.
Teia: *lays down hand* Four Aces.
Gojyo: Damn it! *looks at the other table* Wanna go for Mah-jong?
Gojyo had tried to flirt with Yosuki but...... tell you guys later. ^ ^
Hakkai: *being persuaded to join the kissing contest* ^ ^;
Sanzo: *joins the WWHH (World Wide Harisen Hitting) competition* Take that! *whacks a coming god out cold* Ch. *avoids the incoming gods with harisen and whacks them all* This is too easy. *eyes on the big platinum harisen that has wind resistance to bring it down faster without breaking in mid- air and gains extra momentum when making contact with the head AND is also aerodynamic so that if you throw it at your target, it will never miss and will also comeback like a boomerang faster than any other harisen could*
Twenty or so gods with harisens: *made a pile onto of Sanzo and struggled to win the prize harisen*
Sanzo: *hits every single one of them*
Haku was trying to hurry along with his 16 barrels when he bumped into someone.
Haku: Ouch! *quickly picks up the barrels he dropped*
Nataku: That you Haku? *picks up his barrels*
Haku: Yup. *finished picking them up* Let's go! It's not that far now!
Nataku: Hai! *finished gathering barrels and follows Haku*
When they had reached their destination.
Haku: Made it!
Nataku: We're not out of it yet! Quick!
Haku: Oi, Yosuki. Do you mind?
Yosuki: Put it over there with the others. *points to a big pile behind her*
As Nataku and Haku were about to put them down, spotlights came upon them.
Haku/Nataku: NNNOOO!!!!!
The Three Buddhas: OH YES!!!!! *leaves the bushes and walks up to them* Got you guys now!
Haku: No!!!! Anything but-
Nataku: THIS!!! Oh the humanity!!! No!
The Three Buddhas have this little contest. Those who have demon wine must drink it. Unless you manage to make it someone else's and make sure you are not making any contact with the barrel when you're caught, consider yourself drunken meat. Many have struggled to put it at Yosuki's place before they came. Some were defeated and lost, and some were victorious. And these two just happened to be caught in the act.
The Three Buddhas: Start drinking!
Nataku: Have mercy!!!
The Three Buddhas: That's Kanzeon's job. And she's knocked out cold.
We see Kanzeon Bosatsu at her place sleeping on the ground with half a barrel finished and 235 more barrels to go.
Haku: *hesitantly starts drinking*
Nataku: *shaking all over while letting the stuff go down his throats*
The Three Buddhas: Heh he!!! *watching them suffer*
Yosuki: *was bored so got a barrel and started drinking*
Gojyo had tried to flirt with her earlier on and what does she do? She ties him to a tree upside down and left him there. Teia came along and untied him so he had to play against her in the gambling section.
Goujun: *doing a great fire show*
We see the audience watch with intensity as the little dragon dunk its head into a barrel full of demons wine. It was a wonder how a small thing like that can't get drunk. The little dragon's head came out of the barrel with its mouth filled with the wine. Soon it blows it out accompanied with some of its flames and puts on a fire show good enough to make Disney go bankrupt.
And so the night carried on with a lot of action, drama, and a lot of people getting sick. Strangely enough, the celebration ended when Lirin bumped into almost everybody while chasing her brother with a camera. Kou found it rather hard to run with a cheongsam, stockings, and a pair of red high-heeled shoes.
The End.
AFN: NO REVIEW LIMIT! Merry Christmas!!! (Again) Watch out cause the sequel is going to come and knock your socks off! It will be known as 'Dawn of Fire and Spirit'. Trying to make a little horror but not sure. Get ready for it though. Old friends and enemies just can't stay put...... Beware. Twist at the end... Might not be out in the net for some time though.
A/N: Welcome to the last chapter!
Sorry Cera-san. I forgot again. Silly me.
As for the details of the monsters, they're not THAT good. I had to use mostly basic words sine my vocabulary is limited. I want you guys to be able to imagine the whole thing like an Anime that's all. Thanks for the compliments though. ^U^
Fine, fine. You guys win. Thanks for describing it Ruby. I had no idea at the time. And I'm not so proud of that other Romance fic either. (I don't really like being reminded about it. *shudders*) You're going to get it. Not sure if it's all right but that's up to you readers! If possible, stay away from THAT Romance fic. *shivers* The one for the last chapter was just for humour and I'm glad you liked that. The one in here is a little different though.
Let's see if you guys have ever imagined THIS coming.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Saiyuki. Don't believe me? Ask him. *points to Hakuruyu who's going on a flamethrower spree*
By: Yamamoto Kou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
With the help of Konzeon Bosotsu, Haku managed to drag the unconscious ones to Heaven and put them each into a room. At night, God decided that there is going to be a small celebration and a little discussion to surprise the others that night. Some small decorations were put up for tonight. They'll get the big ones out when Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, Lirin, Kou, Doku and Yoane find out. They love to have fun now and try to find as much reasons as possible to party. After the discussion, they partied!
Some gods and goddesses were doing the limbo, some played peek under the girls' skirts (This game is played by the bravest, the perverts and the guys who go on suicide missions. A lot of slapping was heard.) and some chose to have a competition with arm wrestling, WWF wrestling, (those two games allowed the girls to join in after some persuasions *goddesses shook their fists menacingly*) and sumo wrestling (there has to be some fat gods somewhere). Some played with the piñata, some played 'Truth or Dare' and 'Spin the Bottle' and some played 'the first one to go drunk and drop loses'. Some danced, some sang karaoke, some knocked the nearest god/goddesses to them unconscious with a stick and some pig out. But they all made sure that a charm was put over the unconscious ones except Nataku so that they won't wake up and find out before the time comes. Heaven became slacker over a thousand years ago when God rediscovered that fun is a possible thing and makes people feel great. Including himself. Li Touten was such a bore. He went on and on about stuff that sounds important when they were all trash talk. Besides, it is the age where gods aren't relied on so much and they had all the free time they want.
God: It feels good to have a reason to party. *blows one of those cardboard horns*
Teia: (Reminder: She's God's wife and Yosuki's mom) *rolling up the sleeves of her dress to get ready for the WWF challenge*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: *heads for the arm wrestling match* You said it. *flexed her arm and made a victory gesture as she goes closer*
Jiroushin: *entered the sumo wrestling competition even when he's not fat*
Goujun (a.k.a Hakuruyu): *playing Truth or Dare* Kyu! *pushes the red checker that means dare*
One of the Three Buddhas: You sure you're not going to push the blue one? (Blue stands for truth.)
Goujun: Kyu! *nods*
One of the Three Buddhas: You asked for it.........
Haku: We are so definitely gonna have another celebration tomorrow! *drinks some sake*
Yosuki: *finishing her 6th barrel of demon wine (this stuff belongs to the author Nataku Taishi and can be found in his fic 'Gyokumen Koushu Strikes Back' which is very funny. Please read it. I guarantee that it's good for a laugh) and looks like she's about to drop drunk but is now opening the 7th barrel*
Nataku: *woke up due to noise and heads over to Gods table* You guys started without me! *pouts*
Haku: No we didn't. You just missed five minutes. There's still three hundred and fifty five more minutes to go.
Nataku: *looks at all the activities going on* Yahoo! *heads over to limbo* P-A-R-T-Y!!!
Another one of the Three Buddhas: *one of the ones hitting the gods/goddesses nearest to them* Take that! *knocks a drunken god over with his stick* Hah! *walking around and finds that Yosuki is close by* Aha! *goes over and swings the stick*
Yosuki: *is very drunk but somehow managed to duck, punch the guy in the stomach and continue to finish the barrel of the last remaining drops of wine*
Teia: Oi! Yosuki! Come over and join the fun! *proceeds to give a Rock Bottom to the upcoming guy*
Crowd: *going wild and placing bets*
Yosuki: *looks blankly at her mom, the crowd, then her barrel and decides to go for wrestling*
Haku: *now trying with the piñata*
Nataku: *starts to pig out happily*
God: *grabs a stick and starts hitting the other gods/goddesses*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: *heads over to where the karaoke set is after losing to the last of the Three Buddhas*
Jiroushin: *won first place despite his skinniness and age*
Goujun: *found asleep in the punch*
Teia: *sweat dropping very heavily*
Crowd: *goes super, ultra, mega wild*
Why? Yosuki defeated the top ten and won it all. And she did it drunk. There were only two guys in the top ten. The rest of them are female.
Yosuki: *proceeded back to the demon wine and started on the 8th barrel*
Gods and goddesses were wondering how could she take this stuff and managed drink more than a barrel. So far, the record was half a barrel. God himself wondered if it would be wise to let her have all the demon wine that had ever been in stock. There were too many of them in Heaven and mostly left untouched.
Nataku: *asks for the25th time* How can she drink so much?
Haku: Like I said, she can sleep with her eyes open and responds just like when she's awake. She does that sometimes. Looks like she's sleepwalking and sleep drinking at the same time. She's one heavy sleeper and drinker.
Nataku: Man, she even won the WWF challenge drunk AND asleep! Not to mention breaking the record for drinking the most demon wine! When she's good, she's good. Hope she'll look for a boyfriend because *straightens hair* I'm still available.
And so...... insert musical notes here The party went on all night! insert musical notes here
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It was already the next day but they had to wait till the afternoon before all of them woke up. Because of that, they had a lot of time to get things ready.
Sanzo: *rubbed his head and looked around* Hm? *gets out of bed quickly* Isn't this place......
Lirin: HEVAN! We get to be in Heaven! We get to be in Heaven! Yay! *runs around and around*
Kou: What on Earth are the gods thinking of?! I mean, they don't like youkais so why put HERE of ALL places?
Yoane: I'm not sure Kougaiji-sama. But it's good to see you again though. *smiles*
Kou: Feels good to be outta there too. *flexes* Which reminds me.
Doku: We're starving.
Gojyo: Where is everybody any way?
Hakkai: Heaven didn't have a lot of people walking around. Remember?
Gojyo: Oh ya. These memories are starting to creep me out a bit.
Sanzo: They should be in the main hall or something. *looks away*
Gojyo: Hah! If I remember right, I had a higher rank than you! About the only thing you do is paper work! AND...... You're-
Sanzo: *getting irritated* Don't say it.
Gojyo: You're that crazy yubaba's nephew! You're related to her!!! *laughs really hard* I can't believe it!!! *laughs so hard and rolls all over the ground*
Sanzo: -_-+++++++++++++ URUSEI!!! *gets out his harisen and quickly gives him an almighty whap*
Those who look on: .
Gojyo: *had an incredibly big smoking bump on his head and quickly rubs it* Ch. It's true!
Hakkai: Ano... Where's Haku and Nataku? ^ ^
Nataku: What took you guys so long to wake up? *steps out from round the corner*
Haku: Oi, baka ero-kappa. You slept so well that I saw you drool! *steps out from the corner as well*
Gojyo: Dareda ero-kappa da!? (Thanks to Mei Cera's fic, I learned the words.) *gets ready for a fist fight*
Haku: I thought you guys would like some lunch.
As if on cue, the smell of a perfect lunch started to waft trough the air. Kou, Doku, Lirin, Yoane, Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo suddenly turned beady eyed as their stomach growled. They growled so loudly that it shook the very foundations of Heaven. There was no god or goddesses in Heaven that couldn't hear it all. They all giggled. The causes of those incredibly loud growls then turned red in the face
Haku: Thought so. You know where to get breakfast right?
Hakkai: Yes.
Kou: What about us?
Haku: Just go with them. *leaves*
Nataku: *leaves too*
After a moment of pause, they stampeded over to the food court!
If you look at it like a horse race......
Narrator: In first place, looks like its Lirin but wait! Sanzo seems to be coming out front! The others are struggling to get up to lead and- HOLY *BEEP* IT'S HAKKAI AND YOANE TAKING THE LEAD AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Gojyo, Lirin and Sanzo are trying to get in front. Doku seems to be gaining for third but- WAIT A MINIUTE!! DID HAKKAI JUST SHOVE YOANE TO SECOND PLACE? THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE FOLKS!!!! And so it's neck to neck but where is Kou?! And there he is and he's coming up like lightning and catching up after that incident when Yoane pushed him behind. But it looks like... OH YES IT IS!!! KOU HAD GAINED THE LEAD!!!!
No, this is not OOC (Out Of Character). This is WAH (We Are Hungry).
When they finally get to the food court, they raided they're lunches like savages. They ripped and tear at their food with no mercy! They are now practically licking their plates clean!! If only a giant Peking Roast Duck can see them now!!!
Half an hour (and seventy four piles of sparkly clean plates) later......
Hakkai: *wipes mouth daintily with a napkin after he ate like a cannibal* That was good.
Everyone else: *either nods they're heads or plainly said 'yes it was'*
Sanzo: *walked out of the court*
Gojyo: Oi, droopy-eyed monk! Where do you think you're going?
Sanzo: *took out his paper fan and made a gesture as if sharpening it* To find the bakasaru! *leaves*
Gojyo: Hey! Wait up! I'm going to give him a good pounding! He's probably fat and slow by now. *leaves with him*
Hakkai: Yare, yare. *follows them*
Others: *shrugs and follows anyway*
Sanzo asked a few gods and goddesses where was Goku. They simply smiled or laughed out loud but nothing could be gotten from them.
Sanzo/Gojyo/Hakkai: [This is strange. Heaven is supposed to be dull. The most boring place that ever existed and then this happened. Haku and Nataku did say something about this. Where are they anyway?]
The Kou-Ikkou simply tagged along and looked around. They finally had the freedom they want. No Gyokumen Koshu, no Gyumao and no Nii either. They were enjoying life now.
The three asked and asked and walked and walked. They soon found themselves at the main central. They might as well ask God. But when they opened the door, they could see that it was packed in there and they decided that now wasn't a very good time. They decided to try somewhere else.
When they left, the gods all stopped their pointless chatter. It was all a scam to make a distraction.
God: Now! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! *heads over to another door*
Others: *followed*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: This is so worth the wait! *leaves quickly*
Jiroushin: I'm just as exited!
Goujun: *flew past* Kyu! *turned to Jiroushin and snorted flame on him before proceeding outside*
Jiroushin: Pig headed dragon. *leaves*
Teia: *went over to her husbands side* This will be one of the biggest celebrations yet!
God: And I can't wait to get their faces with this! *holds up a digital camera* It will be good to make Heaven's history more interesting!
Yosuki: *plainly followed*
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Both the Sanzo and Kou-Ikkous decided to check out the garden behind the main central. They shortly found Haku just lying against a tree and Nataku was skimming pebbles over the lake.
Sanzo: Oi! You told us Goku is here!!!
Gojyo: We've been searching for about one freaking hour now! Right after lunch!
Hakkai: Can you please tell us where he is? I want to see if he's all right.
Kou: Besides, he owes me.
Lirin: I wanna beat him up!
Haku: ^-^+++++
Meanwhile, all the gods and goddesses of Heaven have reached their hiding places. They waited for the signal. Nataku was trying very hard to hold back his smile. Haku was by now very good at putting on straight faces.
Sanzo: Well?!
Gojyo: Spill it!!!
Hakkai: Onegai. ^ ^
Kou: Now.
Lirin: Ya!!!! I can't wait to see how fat he is!!!!
Yoane/Doku: *watching with curiosity and interest*
Haku: *opened his mouth but all that came out was a chuckle so he closed him again*
Nataku: *was looking and that chuckle had made him release his buried burst of laughter*
This set of a chain reaction as one by one, the gods and goddesses rolled out of their hiding places among the bushes and laughed their head off. They couldn't take the suspense anymore. Yosuki just plainly walked out of her hiding place to turn to a nearby tree and tried very hard to stifle the laughter and tears coming from her eyes. She had never laughed this much before. Nataku had dropped to the ground with his legs kicking up in the air and hit the ground with his fist but couldn't stop laughing as tears rolled down his cheeks. Haku himself was desperately trying to stand upright and stop his now almost uncontrollable laughter.
The rest of them had no clue what was going on.
Lirin: *tugged at her oniichan's sleeve* Have they gone insane?
Kou: *looks around him* Maybe.
Sanzo: ... [What on Earth is going on here?]
Gojyo: OI! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?????
Haku: *managed to get himself to calm down (a bit)* Goku is standing right here!
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: Where? *looks around*
Everyone Else: *bursts into a new fit of laughter*
Kanzeon Bosatsu: They're making a riot!! *rolling in the dirt uncontrollably*
Jiroushin: HAKU!!!! *laughs* STOP!!!! *laughs* THEM!!!!!! *laughs* ALREADY!!!! *laughs* I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!! *busts into some super loud laughter and tries to gasp for air like a goldfish out of water*
Haku: *manages to stop laughing again for the second time* So, you don't see him yet?
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: No. *very annoyed and confused*
Haku: IT'S ME!!! I'M GOKU!!! BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!! *doubles over laughing again*
A pause issued between each member of the Sanzo/Kou Ikkou before some reactions finally made an appearance.
Lirin- Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish and pointed at Haku. She also kept saying "Your not Goku! He's fat!"
Yoane- Strains her eyes when looking at Haku. "It can't be."
Doku- Picks up a nearby twig and unsuccessfully tries to poke him with it.
Kou- Picks up a laughing Nataku and shakes him. "Oi! Is this a joke?" Shakes him more desperately as it hit him full in the head that it was true.
Hakkai- Takes off his monocle and wipes it. He puts it on. He takes it off and wiped it again before putting it back on again. This continued for some time. His smile was very...... weird.
Gojyo- Looks at Haku, shakes his head and goes over to a near by tree to knock his head for all he's worth. He kept repeating "I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming. I had way too many sake and cigarettes. I must be dreaming........."
Sanzo- Had left his mouth open and drool was starting to be visible. It took him a few more minutes to recover. He took out his paper fan and tried to whack Haku with it. "BAKASARU!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER!!!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!!" Proceeds to chase the very agile Haku, or should I say Goku, who manages to dodge him with breeze while laughing hard.
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When the sun decides to descend into the misty abyss beyond the mountains, the lights were all finally put up and they can all have a REAL celebration. The activities from last night are now on. With some extra editions.
There were kissing contests, bowling contests, drawing contests, sake drinking contest, Coke drinking contest, magic duels, short marathons, musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey (for the kids), break dancing contest, dare contests, breaking stuff contests, eating contests, slap your arse contests (for some unknown reason), riding contests, racing, gambling and a lot more.
Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai, Kou, Doku and Yoane had joined in the fun but Sanzo will not smile and is still trying to find a chance to get that bakasaru hard. Everyone has finally accepted the fact that Haku is Goku. What they couldn't really forgive was why they didn't tell.
Flashback.
God: We wanted to see the look on your faces badly! *checks out the pictures from his camera* These are really good you know.
End of Flashback.
Sanzo/Kou Ikkou: -_-+++++++ *how they all longed to tar and feather him and burn the evidence*
But Lirin was hiding among the Sakura trees. She doesn't feels like partying at the moment. In fact, she wasn't really genki then. She just stared at the petals that gently fall to the ground as the wind blows them off.
Haku: What are you doing here? *puts down the 16 barrels* Aren't you going to have some fun?
Lirin: ...... I hate Gyumao a lot. I can't believe that he beat me so easily. I hate that. And to make things worst, you're better than me. It's not fair! I should be the one who got better! *puts on a face and turns away*
Haku: So what your saying is that you're weak? Do you really think about all that? *head cocked to one side and places both hands behind his head* Even I don't think this much before I lost my friends.
Lirin: *her back facing Haku* Of course!! You don't notice anything!!! My mom constantly threatened Oniichan and we couldn't do a thing to help him!!! I HATE HER FOR THAT!!! *crosses her arms and tears were on her face* Why do you guys have to get a better life than us??? You were always Baldie Sanzo's pet and you guys didn't suffer as much as we have!!!! I REALLY HATE THAT!!! *sobbing sounds and be heard*
Haku: *stares upwards at the appearing stars for a while then looks at Lirin* No, I'm not Sanzo's pet!!! I just owe him one. I never go back on my debt!! Besides, he's my ... *looks for a fitting word* friend. Gojyo and Hakkai are my friends too. They're as close as I can get to a real family. Consider yourself lucky to have an oniichan. Besides, *turns around* getting stronger isn't as easy as you think.
Lirin: Hontoni deska? *rubs away her tears*
Haku: *turns around again* You can do it too. I just got a head start that's all. I never thought I could be this smart but it happens.
Lirin: *by now completely wipes tears away and turns around to face Haku* But I'll catch up!!!! I'll be way better than you!!! *suddenly curious* Why don't you eat much anymore anyway? *eyes turn beady and narrow at him*
Haku: Things had happened. ^-^; *tries to change the subject* Now are you going to have fun or what?! *offers a hand* The others are having a pretty good time.
Lirin: *stands up by herself* Thanks for the hand but I've got to go!!! *starts running off but sticks her tongue out at him first* Arigatou!!!!
Haku: *smiled, looked around and picks up all 16 barrels and continues to head for his destination before a few certain gods find out*
Lirin looked around and around. So many coloured lights, so much food, and so many games! It got her all exited. Then she found her oniichan along with Yoane and Doku.
Kou had entered the dare contests. He was one of the unlucky ones to be dared to cross dress. (He he he.) He was unlucky because this was worse than putting a scorpion down your pants or walking through fire. He was currently wearing a cheongsam with red high-heeled shoes. Yoane struggled not to laugh and fall over as she helped him to apply the makeup. Doku wasn't helpful either . Kou had his arms crossed and is not look very happy.
Yoane: Kougaiji-sama! *giggled*
Doku: Don't forget these! *waves the stockings about*
Lirin: *runs over to her oniichan and leaped onto him* Oniichan! Or should I say... Oneeja!!!! *laughs while clinging on to Kou*
Kou: -_- This is not funny.
To Kougaiji fans: This is not making fun of him. This is for fun and entertainment purposes only.
Meanwhile...
Jiroushin: SHOW YOUR SUMO STUFF!!!!!
God: *only wearing a piece of cloth like what real sumos wear* Yosh!! *shakes his butt before taking the stance*
Gojyo: *lays down his hand* Straight.
Teia: *lays down hand* Four Aces.
Gojyo: Damn it! *looks at the other table* Wanna go for Mah-jong?
Gojyo had tried to flirt with Yosuki but...... tell you guys later. ^ ^
Hakkai: *being persuaded to join the kissing contest* ^ ^;
Sanzo: *joins the WWHH (World Wide Harisen Hitting) competition* Take that! *whacks a coming god out cold* Ch. *avoids the incoming gods with harisen and whacks them all* This is too easy. *eyes on the big platinum harisen that has wind resistance to bring it down faster without breaking in mid- air and gains extra momentum when making contact with the head AND is also aerodynamic so that if you throw it at your target, it will never miss and will also comeback like a boomerang faster than any other harisen could*
Twenty or so gods with harisens: *made a pile onto of Sanzo and struggled to win the prize harisen*
Sanzo: *hits every single one of them*
Haku was trying to hurry along with his 16 barrels when he bumped into someone.
Haku: Ouch! *quickly picks up the barrels he dropped*
Nataku: That you Haku? *picks up his barrels*
Haku: Yup. *finished picking them up* Let's go! It's not that far now!
Nataku: Hai! *finished gathering barrels and follows Haku*
When they had reached their destination.
Haku: Made it!
Nataku: We're not out of it yet! Quick!
Haku: Oi, Yosuki. Do you mind?
Yosuki: Put it over there with the others. *points to a big pile behind her*
As Nataku and Haku were about to put them down, spotlights came upon them.
Haku/Nataku: NNNOOO!!!!!
The Three Buddhas: OH YES!!!!! *leaves the bushes and walks up to them* Got you guys now!
Haku: No!!!! Anything but-
Nataku: THIS!!! Oh the humanity!!! No!
The Three Buddhas have this little contest. Those who have demon wine must drink it. Unless you manage to make it someone else's and make sure you are not making any contact with the barrel when you're caught, consider yourself drunken meat. Many have struggled to put it at Yosuki's place before they came. Some were defeated and lost, and some were victorious. And these two just happened to be caught in the act.
The Three Buddhas: Start drinking!
Nataku: Have mercy!!!
The Three Buddhas: That's Kanzeon's job. And she's knocked out cold.
We see Kanzeon Bosatsu at her place sleeping on the ground with half a barrel finished and 235 more barrels to go.
Haku: *hesitantly starts drinking*
Nataku: *shaking all over while letting the stuff go down his throats*
The Three Buddhas: Heh he!!! *watching them suffer*
Yosuki: *was bored so got a barrel and started drinking*
Gojyo had tried to flirt with her earlier on and what does she do? She ties him to a tree upside down and left him there. Teia came along and untied him so he had to play against her in the gambling section.
Goujun: *doing a great fire show*
We see the audience watch with intensity as the little dragon dunk its head into a barrel full of demons wine. It was a wonder how a small thing like that can't get drunk. The little dragon's head came out of the barrel with its mouth filled with the wine. Soon it blows it out accompanied with some of its flames and puts on a fire show good enough to make Disney go bankrupt.
And so the night carried on with a lot of action, drama, and a lot of people getting sick. Strangely enough, the celebration ended when Lirin bumped into almost everybody while chasing her brother with a camera. Kou found it rather hard to run with a cheongsam, stockings, and a pair of red high-heeled shoes.
The End.
AFN: NO REVIEW LIMIT! Merry Christmas!!! (Again) Watch out cause the sequel is going to come and knock your socks off! It will be known as 'Dawn of Fire and Spirit'. Trying to make a little horror but not sure. Get ready for it though. Old friends and enemies just can't stay put...... Beware. Twist at the end... Might not be out in the net for some time though.