AN: Okay, here's chapter 4! Thanks for the reviews, and the flames. I
don't care really what you send me. In reference to one comment, which
said that Seto deserves better, I completely agree! Tea is completely
unworthy of him and I'd love to take her out with a high-powered rifle
*Thinks evil thoughts *. That's why this story was a real challenge. I
came close... too close, to ******* *** ***** *****. Sigh, I'm
incorrigible. But whatever. Actually, I looked up ff.net ratings, and
evidently, I'm really pushing the rating with my story. I might move it up
to R in later chapters, but we'll have to see how motivated I'm feeling and
if I actually care enough. Oh, and sorry if the POV flipping is confusing
you people. POV will only change when marked with the line of *'s. Err,
this could also signal a scene change, but I tried to make the POV very
clear. Review if it's not. Review if it is! Well, on with the fic!
Hurts IV
I cried and cried until my eyes had run out of tears.
"Seto?" Mokuba asked, touching my hands. "Are you alright? You're crying."
I sniffed and looked up at my brother who was looking back at me with confused and worried eyes. I brushed away the tears on my face and forced a smile. He didn't fall for it.
"I'm sorry, Seto. Don't cry, please, don't cry. I'm sorry." Mokuba told me.
"No, I'm sorry." I insisted. "Don't ever apologize to me. Oh, God! It's my fault. All my fault."
"What?" Mokuba asked startled. "What's wrong Seto?"
"Mokuba." I whispered, clutching at his hand. "Forgive me brother. Please forgive me!"
"Of course I forgive you." Mokuba laughed giving me a worried smile.
"You don't even know what I've done." I groaned, standing up. "How can you forgive me when you don't know how I've hurt you?"
"Big brother?" Mokuba asked. I looked down at him saw that I was scaring him. Letting out a loud sigh, I know that I had to tell him. I had to tell him now.
"Mokuba?" I said to him, sitting back down. "Wiggle your toes."
Mokuba nodded and I could see that he didn't know. He had no idea. I watched as his cheerful expression was slowly replaced by one of confusion and then pure horror.
"I-I-I can't." Mokuba told me, his fear creeping into his voice and causing him to stammer. "Why can't I, Big brother?"
"Do you know where you are?" I asked him avoiding the question.
"North Point hospital." Mokuba shrugged.
"You know which wing?" I asked. Mokuba shook his head, still mystified.
"I don't remember anything from when we were feeding to ducks to when I woak up and the doctor told me you were coming." He confessed.
"You're in the wing for gun shot victims and it's been three days since we were at the park." I told him, looking down at my hands, unable to make eye contact. "You were shot in the back. Oh lord! It should have been me! It's my fault. I should.I should be the one paralyzed!"
"I'm paralyzed?" Mokuba asked. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"I'm SO sorry, Mokuba. Please, forgive me." I whispered, before getting out of my seat and running for the door. A body stood in blocking the entrance and I shoved it them out of my way. New tears I didn't know I had were filling my eyes and blurring my vision. I stumbled down the hall and practically fell into the parking lot. I slumped against a wall and let the new tears stream down my face.
"Kaiba?" A voice asked. I knew the speaker but couldn't place them.
'A girl.' I thought. 'But who? Oh... It must be Tea. I'd forgotten she was here.'
"What do you want?" I asked between sobs.
"Why'd you run off?" Tea asked. "Mokuba's hurt."
"I didn't want him to see me cry again." I confessed; I didn't have the strength to lie. My tears slowed down to a silent trickle and then stopping completely.
"Why were you crying?" Tea asked. I heard her coming towards me but didn't try to hide my tear-streaked face.
"How much did you hear?" I asked quietly.
"Just your apology before you ran off. I lost you for a minute and had to ask where you had gone." She told me. I looked up and she brushed away my old tears. Suddenly, I began to cry again. I grabbed her in a tight hug and sobbed into her shoulder. She stiffened, then relaxed, hugged me back and gently rubbed my back.
"It's okay. Ssssssh. It's all right." She whispered in my ear. He voice was calm and soothing. "Go ahead. Cry."
I let her words flow over me and wrap me tightly. I clung to her like a child and cried harder, my tears blinding me. We stood like that for a few minutes, her, stroking my hair and shoulders, and I, crying like a baby. I finally managed to control my tears and I stepped away, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.
"Are you alright?" She asked me gently. I nodded and blushed slightly.
"I'm sorry I got your shirt wet." I mumbled. "I shouldn't have cried."
"It's alright. Everyone cries sometimes."
"Not me. I don't." I shrugged. "I should go apologize to Mokuba."
"Again?" Tea asked. "Why did you have to apologize at all?"
"I... I caused his pain. It's my fault." I confessed.
"What do you mean?" Tea asked.
"He was shot." I whispered, trying to get rid of the memories that were filling my mind. Memories of holding Mokuba. The blood and the hospital and the doctors. Mokuba in a coma. "We were at the park and he was shot. None of the doctors thought he would make it, he was in a coma so long."
"So long?" Tea asked.
"Three days. They eventually kicked me out because I wouldn't leave Mokuba's room. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I just had to sit there, all those memories running through my mind. It's so much like when Pegasus stole him from me. I was powerless to help him."
"But you got him back last time. And Mokuba's okay now as well." Tea shrugged.
"Alive is not necessarily the same as all right." I shrugged, fighting the urge to run away. I couldn't take it!
"Kaiba?" Tea asked, looking at me. "What's on your mind? You look worried. Are you alright?"
"I'm just feeling so..." I began, then stopped. For once I was at a loss for words. What words could tell her how I hurt and how much I wanted to escape?
"Lost?" She supplied, trying to help me find the words. "Confused? Scared?"
"Yes." I admitted. I was silent for a moment, surprised by my own honesty. "Scared the most though. Scared. Scared and hurt. It hurts me so much to look at him. I just want to run away until I can't hurt anymore."
"Where would you go?" Tea asked.
"I dunno." I sighed. "I'm not really sure. I can't leave but I can't stay"
"You wanna talk about it?" Tea asked.
"What are we doing now then?" I asked, smiling briefly.
"You know what I mean. Wanna talk about Mokuba? Yourself? The pain? Anything?"
"I don't know what to say." I shrugged. "I promised... and it's my fault. I suppose it's supposed to be tearing me up. And I get this feeling that if I run far enough and fast enough, it'll all go away. And then I remember that I can't. I can't leave Mokuba, I promised that too."
"Is that why you and Joey fought yesterday?" Tea asked me. I felt her lean in and looked down. Sure enough she was snuggling against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she crossed her arms over them. I sighed and looked away.
"Sort of." I nodded. "I picked the fight, stood back and let Joey's temper and friends do the rest. I keep thinking 'perhaps if I hurt myself enough Mokuba will be okay'. I'd do anything to fix my damage."
"What damage?" Tea asked.
"He's paralyzed." I shrugged. The words were already to deep in my mind for them to hurt much more. "From the waist down."
"Kaiba, that isn't your fault! It's that bastard's fault. The bullets fault!" Tea told me.
"Yes it is. It is my fault." I told her matter-of-factly. "The man was leaving and he spoke to me."
"What did he say?" Tea asked looking up at me.
"This is what you get Seto Kaiba. Be warned." A voice said from behind me.
Hurts IV
I cried and cried until my eyes had run out of tears.
"Seto?" Mokuba asked, touching my hands. "Are you alright? You're crying."
I sniffed and looked up at my brother who was looking back at me with confused and worried eyes. I brushed away the tears on my face and forced a smile. He didn't fall for it.
"I'm sorry, Seto. Don't cry, please, don't cry. I'm sorry." Mokuba told me.
"No, I'm sorry." I insisted. "Don't ever apologize to me. Oh, God! It's my fault. All my fault."
"What?" Mokuba asked startled. "What's wrong Seto?"
"Mokuba." I whispered, clutching at his hand. "Forgive me brother. Please forgive me!"
"Of course I forgive you." Mokuba laughed giving me a worried smile.
"You don't even know what I've done." I groaned, standing up. "How can you forgive me when you don't know how I've hurt you?"
"Big brother?" Mokuba asked. I looked down at him saw that I was scaring him. Letting out a loud sigh, I know that I had to tell him. I had to tell him now.
"Mokuba?" I said to him, sitting back down. "Wiggle your toes."
Mokuba nodded and I could see that he didn't know. He had no idea. I watched as his cheerful expression was slowly replaced by one of confusion and then pure horror.
"I-I-I can't." Mokuba told me, his fear creeping into his voice and causing him to stammer. "Why can't I, Big brother?"
"Do you know where you are?" I asked him avoiding the question.
"North Point hospital." Mokuba shrugged.
"You know which wing?" I asked. Mokuba shook his head, still mystified.
"I don't remember anything from when we were feeding to ducks to when I woak up and the doctor told me you were coming." He confessed.
"You're in the wing for gun shot victims and it's been three days since we were at the park." I told him, looking down at my hands, unable to make eye contact. "You were shot in the back. Oh lord! It should have been me! It's my fault. I should.I should be the one paralyzed!"
"I'm paralyzed?" Mokuba asked. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"I'm SO sorry, Mokuba. Please, forgive me." I whispered, before getting out of my seat and running for the door. A body stood in blocking the entrance and I shoved it them out of my way. New tears I didn't know I had were filling my eyes and blurring my vision. I stumbled down the hall and practically fell into the parking lot. I slumped against a wall and let the new tears stream down my face.
"Kaiba?" A voice asked. I knew the speaker but couldn't place them.
'A girl.' I thought. 'But who? Oh... It must be Tea. I'd forgotten she was here.'
"What do you want?" I asked between sobs.
"Why'd you run off?" Tea asked. "Mokuba's hurt."
"I didn't want him to see me cry again." I confessed; I didn't have the strength to lie. My tears slowed down to a silent trickle and then stopping completely.
"Why were you crying?" Tea asked. I heard her coming towards me but didn't try to hide my tear-streaked face.
"How much did you hear?" I asked quietly.
"Just your apology before you ran off. I lost you for a minute and had to ask where you had gone." She told me. I looked up and she brushed away my old tears. Suddenly, I began to cry again. I grabbed her in a tight hug and sobbed into her shoulder. She stiffened, then relaxed, hugged me back and gently rubbed my back.
"It's okay. Ssssssh. It's all right." She whispered in my ear. He voice was calm and soothing. "Go ahead. Cry."
I let her words flow over me and wrap me tightly. I clung to her like a child and cried harder, my tears blinding me. We stood like that for a few minutes, her, stroking my hair and shoulders, and I, crying like a baby. I finally managed to control my tears and I stepped away, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.
"Are you alright?" She asked me gently. I nodded and blushed slightly.
"I'm sorry I got your shirt wet." I mumbled. "I shouldn't have cried."
"It's alright. Everyone cries sometimes."
"Not me. I don't." I shrugged. "I should go apologize to Mokuba."
"Again?" Tea asked. "Why did you have to apologize at all?"
"I... I caused his pain. It's my fault." I confessed.
"What do you mean?" Tea asked.
"He was shot." I whispered, trying to get rid of the memories that were filling my mind. Memories of holding Mokuba. The blood and the hospital and the doctors. Mokuba in a coma. "We were at the park and he was shot. None of the doctors thought he would make it, he was in a coma so long."
"So long?" Tea asked.
"Three days. They eventually kicked me out because I wouldn't leave Mokuba's room. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I just had to sit there, all those memories running through my mind. It's so much like when Pegasus stole him from me. I was powerless to help him."
"But you got him back last time. And Mokuba's okay now as well." Tea shrugged.
"Alive is not necessarily the same as all right." I shrugged, fighting the urge to run away. I couldn't take it!
"Kaiba?" Tea asked, looking at me. "What's on your mind? You look worried. Are you alright?"
"I'm just feeling so..." I began, then stopped. For once I was at a loss for words. What words could tell her how I hurt and how much I wanted to escape?
"Lost?" She supplied, trying to help me find the words. "Confused? Scared?"
"Yes." I admitted. I was silent for a moment, surprised by my own honesty. "Scared the most though. Scared. Scared and hurt. It hurts me so much to look at him. I just want to run away until I can't hurt anymore."
"Where would you go?" Tea asked.
"I dunno." I sighed. "I'm not really sure. I can't leave but I can't stay"
"You wanna talk about it?" Tea asked.
"What are we doing now then?" I asked, smiling briefly.
"You know what I mean. Wanna talk about Mokuba? Yourself? The pain? Anything?"
"I don't know what to say." I shrugged. "I promised... and it's my fault. I suppose it's supposed to be tearing me up. And I get this feeling that if I run far enough and fast enough, it'll all go away. And then I remember that I can't. I can't leave Mokuba, I promised that too."
"Is that why you and Joey fought yesterday?" Tea asked me. I felt her lean in and looked down. Sure enough she was snuggling against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she crossed her arms over them. I sighed and looked away.
"Sort of." I nodded. "I picked the fight, stood back and let Joey's temper and friends do the rest. I keep thinking 'perhaps if I hurt myself enough Mokuba will be okay'. I'd do anything to fix my damage."
"What damage?" Tea asked.
"He's paralyzed." I shrugged. The words were already to deep in my mind for them to hurt much more. "From the waist down."
"Kaiba, that isn't your fault! It's that bastard's fault. The bullets fault!" Tea told me.
"Yes it is. It is my fault." I told her matter-of-factly. "The man was leaving and he spoke to me."
"What did he say?" Tea asked looking up at me.
"This is what you get Seto Kaiba. Be warned." A voice said from behind me.