Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DIGIMON CHARACTERS! BANDAI OWNS THEM! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Will We Ever Be Together?
Chapter 20
I sighed once more as I stuffed my backpack with my textbooks. Why was I attempting to do homework when it won't even help? I wanted to stop thinking about her…but I found that it was harder than I thought. There was still a problem though…I was going to see her in a few hours or maybe minutes because she IS staying at my house after all. I groaned to myself as I walked outside towards the living room, plopping myself down onto the couch. I turned on the television and flipped through the channels. Were the gods and goddesses of the great heavens against me now? All the channels were romantic soap operas. I nearly hurled at finding all these romantic movies and shows. Every single show had love in it, even on the Animal Channel! It was talking about a relationship between two hamsters and how they can multiply REALLY fast. Yet again, I was bored out of misery as I turned off the television and laid there on the couch. I didn't feel like getting up at all. All I wanted to do was see her smile, but there was a question bothering me right now. That question was…will we ever be together?
It just wasn't fair; I knew she liked Michael for a while as I've also known that Michael loved her. I was about to ask her to be my girlfriend tonight, but…Michael caught the opportunity. Oh well, I guess this was one battle that I would never win. Course you didn't get the girl, because you're weak! You're useless Yamato! You don't need her; you have other girls to stare at for crying out loud! There's more fishes in the sea, you moron! I shook my head slightly from those thoughts. Maybe I should forget about my crush on her, it might actually help me get back into concentrating in my school work as well as making up new songs and gigs. I sighed softly. Life was harder than I ever thought it would be. So many thoughts rushed into my mind that night, I was about to cry, but I held in the tears. Tears were for sissy and I wasn't going to bring myself down to THAT level, but I knew I was going to be there sometime soon. I felt miserable and it didn't even seem like I was going to feel any better when she entered my apartment with her family, my dad, and him.
I pretended to lay there on the couch, asleep, but I couldn't force out how cheerful her voice was. Mimi Tachikawa…how I wanted to hear her pure giggle ring in my ears every time I wake up and every time I went to bed.
"Hm? Oh…shhh. Matt's asleep…" I heard my father say. Soon I could feel arms pick me up and place me into my bed. I knew it was my father because I had many times fallen asleep on the couch and it was only my father who was use to carrying me around even at my age! A few minutes later, I heard the door shut and my eyes slowly opened as I stared up at the ceiling. Why am I in here? Why did I pretend to be asleep? I had no idea, nor did I know that tonight was the last night with my encounter with Mimi…
The next morning, I walked out of my apartment dressed up casually. She left. She had left this morning without saying goodbye. I had received the news from my half-asleep, yet half-awake father. She didn't even leave a letter or a post-it! I gave up now. My hopes and dreams to be with her were now shattered like glass. I shook my head and smiled proudly to the world. I won't be heartbroken because of something little like this! I will live my life with or without her. No matter what happens, nothing will bring me down.
At practice, my fellow band members weren't in much of a mood to sing though I found myself singing our hit song, "Turn Around." I was now emotionally inspired by the song. I understood what the song meant because of how I felt at this moment. I had taken Mimi's presence for granted and now I blame it all on myself. I continued to sing:
"You got a boy
You got a girl
Sitting underneath a tree
They sit there everyday
But even though you may think
This is the way that things should be
It may not always be that way
You can't take nothing for granted
You got to live life today
I turn around I can see what's behind me
I turn back around I can see what's ahead
And if you don't believe I've been here all along
Just turn around
Just turn around..."
I had been turning around to look at my past and had not thought about my future, but now…that was all in my mind. Whatever is ahead of me, I shall embrace it fully and confidently. After band practice, I sauntered down the sidewalk, enjoying the wonderful weather, but soon found myself smiling at a figure standing in front of me.
"How are you doing now?" the dark-haired boy asked.
"Hm…I'm fine, why do you ask?" I asked back calmly.
"Dude, your girl just left you for some…some guy!" Tai said.
I chuckled softly. "Nah, she never was my girl…and don't worry about it, it's all right." I replied back.
"You sure Matt…?" Tai asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Heh…try and get back with Sora, Tai. Man…you look terrible lately…" I commented.
"Yeah, yeah…I know…I'm still trying, but she said she has her eyes on someone…" Tai sighed in despair.
Somehow I knew who that "someone" was. I too sighed in despair as I tried to comfort my best friend and myself.
"Women…you can't live with them, yet you can't live without them…" I sighed.
Tai chuckled softly at my comment, but nodded in agreement. We laughed and talked about our old adventures. As well as how we tried to get more glances at "our girls" when we were in the Digital World. I remembered how I've always wanted to get stuck with Mimi when we had to separate a few times, but in the end…I never did. I was with either T.K. or someone else. It just wasn't fair…and now, I'm still not with her. Maybe it was just Fate, if I was never paired up with her back then…maybe I'll never be. I heard from T.K. that Mimi visited him and the gang in the Digital World. And guess who was with her? …yes, it was him…Michael.
That night, I sat at my windowsill, staring at the stars with my red guitar in my arms. Cradling it as if it was my future girlfriend, whom I had lost to another guy. I gazed at the stars, playing a few chords…thinking, thinking of a special girl. A special girl whom I've lost forever…hot tears streamed down my cheeks, but I made no effort to stop them. "Tachikawa…why....? Why her?" I asked myself between soft sobs. More tears cascaded down my cheeks, I hated this. Why did this have to happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? Why couldn't I be with the girl of my childhood dreams? Soon, I found myself soothed by my diligent fingers. They played a melody on my guitar that was depressing, but it helped. It helped me forget my troubles that night…
The next morning, my daily procedure for school went as usual though my close friends looked at me with worried expressions. Upon my face was a cheerful smile, but only a few of my friends knew that I was hurting inside. After school, I walked towards my band's meeting place. Today, we've received a job…to sing and entertain the students at the dance. Once I walked into the room, all the guys gave me a worried look, but I told them to relax and that we should get ready for the next "job". We got in place and practiced for another afternoon. I was singing my heart out; I wanted to get rid of the sorrow from my heart. Sorrow, a disease so deadly that it could eat your soul away…
I found myself change drastically from that "incident," but something kept bothering me. It was that dream…about the girl who was calling my name. Ever since Mimi left Japan and returned to America, I found that the dream came more often. Each night, it was the same thing. The girl kept calling me. Was this a sign? Is this dream trying to tell me that Mimi had something to do with my life? What is going on now? I'm more confused now and what makes it even worst is that everyone is adding onto this confusion. I just don't understand anymore. I feel so alone, so helpless and defenseless…maybe I am weak without her. Maybe I DO need her…but I can't ruin her life with…him. I can't, it wouldn't be fair to any of us…but right now, it isn't fair to me at all…