The Return of the Attack of the Deranged Mutant

by Jhomeboy

...Killer Monster Snow Goons." Book:II on hiatus. Time for a REAL C&H fic, and this time: set as a horror slasher film! That's right. Calvin and the gang are teenagers. And that's right, they resurect a snowman, and of course, stupid teenage choices are m

1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHA!

Merry Christmas all and maybe by February I might have a sequel, "The Revenge of the Return of the Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons." Sorry if they seem out of character. I try to put more of a "stupid teen" label on them than "grown-up C&H characters." You'll understand.

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Me? My story? Who are all these people behind me? Well, first, my name is Calvin. Now that we got the important stuff out of the way, these people. This beautiful young lady on the right of me is a one Susie Derkins, which you may know, so I won't fret over her…right now. Over there, by the fire, just staring, that's Moe. I don't know why he's here…he just showed up and I suspect only because he wants to smear me across the wall when I go to sleep. Over there, preparing the nutrition for the night (Super Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, the latest formula. With marshmallows!) is Tommy Chestnut, the only human to survive the digestive tract of a tiger. And of course, the supplier of the cereal for tonight, Jerad!

Now, our story. My parents are out of town for the weekend, and I decided tonight would be the perfect night for a party, just us small select group and you. We are ready to sit around by the fire, talk about life (or ending it, in Moe's case) and soon, we are about to go outside and build a snowman. And then-

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"Calvin, God, shut up! When I said, 'What are you and all these other people doing here?' I didn't expect an answer! Susie just said 'a girl's night out!'" Calvin smirked and Candice, who was shivering, waiting to be let out of the snowstorm. "Rar. I'm afraid my girlfriend decided some others should come. Calling Jerad, I did, and then in turn he called Tommy, and, like I said, Moe just turned up…"

"Just let me in!" shouted Candice, pushing Calvin aside.

"Alright, guys, Candice is here!" shouted Calvin. Tommy and Jerad merely looked up, then back to the seven boxes of Super Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs (with marshmallows.)

"Great! Now the part can really get started!" crowed Tommy with a cool air of sarcasm. Everybody but Candice and Susie laughed (Moe's just a slight too menacing for Calvin's taste.)

Outside, the snow-stained winds shrieked shutters.