Britz-I should point out, thanks to my...truly bizarre thought process this first bit is in ahh, whatsit, normal writing not script, I just can't describe well in script so I may switch back and forth between chaps.
Disclaimer-Not mine, not mine, and that Orgasmo joke I stole last chap? Not mine.
~Planet Strangelove, Or: How I Learned How To Stop Worrying And Love The Skater Bomb~
Chapter Three
Out in the harbour of New York, porn capital of porn capital Earth Avril Lavigne sat on the throne of her evil fortress, none other than the dramatically changed Statue of Liberty.
Instead of it's big dusty volume the statue now carried a skateboard tucked under her arm and no longer held her torch high, instead a blazing guitar scraped at the sky, held as if about to be ploughed into the harbour like it were some gigantic car's windshield.
All entrances were guarded by skater-guards, big muscular guys with long greasy hair, their skateboards at their sides like faithful dogs, their guitar-blasters (funnily enough a cross between a guitar and a dracon blaster) in their back holsters, the guards looked casual but stood ready for attack, or musical interlude.
Her large, imposing throne was made entirely of the chromed skulls of various talented musicians and untalented teenyboppers alike, her feet were propped up on a footrest composed of the shattered bone fragments of those brave few who had dared call her a teenybopper to her face.
Avril's Minister for Defence and Blowing Shit Up, Jeff, cowered before her, he didn't look quite right cowering with his 6'4" heavyset frame but cowering was a necessary evil when dealing with Queen Lavigne, half-mad with power, half-insane with cruelty and 24/7 crazy with an apparently permeant case of PMS that doctors and record producers were at a lose to explain.
"So they escaped the Robot guard, evaded the skater bombs and are currently somewhere in New York, plotting my downfall?" She asked.
"We can't get a confirmation on the plotting, but the rest is about right." Jeff replied, "They were last seen crashing in between their ex-team member Cassie's breasts."
"Whoa" Avril said, "What kind of bra size does she wear?"
Jeff looked momentarily confused "Oh, I mean a picture, a big picture of her breasts, they rammed into Cassie Industries storage facility."
"Right, send in a squad of Skater Boys, tell them to show no mercy."
"Right away my liege," Jeff hastily replied.
"We must make sure we kill them soon!" Avril shouted, "They must never be allowed to learn my horrible, blood-curdling, BONE-CHILLING secret!! Which could be used to bring my entire evil empire crashing down like so many car windshields!!!"
"Yes my queen, I think that's a given. But I must stress to you" Jeff got a hard gleam in his eyes, "We may be dealing with the most dangerous people on Earth.
Chapter Four
Jake-Whoa, look what she's doing to this llama!
*Jake sits on a crate reading through a Cassie mag with the claim "Inside: Cassie performs with 3 other woman, 4 guys and a Llama while she morphs!" The others are attempting to fix the ship as fast as possible*
Marco-Goddamnit Jake, I don't think you quite understand the situation here, we're stuck on a now hostile planet, being ruled by a bitchy pop star who wants us dead and the ship is broken, will you stop looking at porn and help out!!
Jake-I'm helping, I'm the captain, captains help by supervising...See look! With a damn llama! She'd never do that to me, I was always asking 'Cassie, please, just once..For Christ's sake Cassie, just touch it! Just once!' And now here she is rounding third with a llama!
Tobias-[Well, she always did like animals.]
Jake-*flips through pages* She's still going! Damnit, look at this! *turns the mag so that the others can see.*
Jeanne-Jake, how about you help out here, or you can go and do that, to yourself.
Jake-Oh, I've tried, can never reach the damn thing.
Others-*shudder, rub their temples and keep working*
Jake-Scuse us for a moment *walks inside the ship, clutching the magazine*
Santorelli-Oh god, I don't even wanna think about it.
Tobias-[Wait, everyone quiet.] *everyone stops, listens closely*
Marco-...What is it boy?
Tobias-[Shut up, someone's coming.]
Marco-I'm surprised they didn't come sooner; I mean we did rip a hole through her best features.
Jeanne-*sceptically* Her brain and personality right?
Marco-Yes, I believe they keep one in each tit.
Tobias-[Not just someone, someone's...A whole squad of someone's...On wheels!]
Others-*gasp*
Menderash-Wait, I think I missed why that's important.
*Two dozen Skater Boys ride through the door at one end of the warehouse area, guitar blasters blazing*
Santorelli-Ahh! Battle morphs!
Marco-Ya think?
*they morph under heavy fire for battle, 'cept Tobias, cause he doesn't need to and Menderash cause he can't.*
Jeanne-*Morphed for battle: Polar bear* [Let's get it on!]
Santorelli-*Morphed for battle: Lion* [Sing it sister!]
*A large and extravagant fight scene occurs (Heheh, ripped you off a fight scene)*
Marco-*Gorilla morph, punches out one Skater, takes his guitar* [Look everyone, I'm Avril Lavigne derp! *swings the guitar and sends another Skater* Heheh, I kill me.]
Jeanne-[Please do.] *smacks one Skater sending him flying out the huge hole the ship created.*
Skater-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(On the street)
Skater-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *smashes into the pavement*
*A guy and girl watch nonchantly*
Guy-Hey, look at that, its raining men.
Girl-Whatever dearie, listen Britz I think your really blowing this challenge out of proportion.
Britz-No dice Gem, this baby's an epic in the making.
*Another Skater crashes to the ground*
Britz-Nothing more I love than seeing skaters, falling to their deaths.
Gem-Why? Because they're henchman of Avril Lavigne's evil empire?
Britz-Nah, I just hate skaters.
(Back with our heroes)
*the fight is now over, dead and unconscious skaters litter the warehouse floor, the Animorphs morph back*
Marco-I'm starting to get the impression that Earth isn't going to welcome us back with open arms.
*a flushing noise is heard, Jake walks back out of the ship.*
Jake-*looks over the Skaters* Did I miss something again?
Menderash-*ignoring him* Let's face it, we don't have the time to fix the ship, we've got to leave it and get outta here.
Tobias-[Agreed, the sooner the better.]
Jake-Alright *picks up various copies of different Cassie mags, stuffs them in his pockets* let's clear out.
(5 minutes later, on the street.)
*The Animorphs exit the Cassie Industries building, Tobias fly's cover overhead. A crowd is gathering around the fallen skaters*
Jake-Phew, this could be close, as long as we avoid attracting attention *trips over a bunch of garbage cans, causing them to clatter to the ground*
Marco-Nice going fearless leader.
*The crowd ignores them, but across the street a video billboard stops displaying gay porn and flickers onto Avril Lavigne*
Avril-People of New York, the city is harbouring fugitives, they are known as, the Animorphs!
Crowd-*gasp*
Man-Wait, I think I missed why that's important.
Avril-They are seen here *pictures begin popping up on the screen of them* and were last seen in the area of Cassie Industries warehouse building.
Crowd-*gasp again*
Man-Hey, that's here, innit?
Avril-in fact, if you're outside the building, maybe gathering around the dead Skaters, there's a pretty good chance you'll see them if you turn around, right, now.
Crowd-*fresh gasp*
Man-*turns around, spots the Animorphs* Oi! There they are! Lets get 'em!
Crowd-*turns spots the Animorphs, let out a roar of attack*
Animorphs-Eep! *run*
*The crowd gives chase, the Animorphs and crowd race up and down streets, causing chaos*
Jake-*panting heavily* I can't go on *collapses to his knees* Go on, save yourselves.
Others-*haven't noticed, still running*
Woman-Look, there's one!
Man#2-He looks stupid and unimportant! Forget him, get the others!
Jake-Stupid and unimportant? I'll have you know I'm their captain.
Woman#2-He's the captain!
Man#3-Let's lynch him!
Crowd-YAAAY!
Jake-To hell with this *gets his second wind and runs after his crew*
*The Animorphs run into an alley, a big wooden door opens at the side, a man steps out*
Man-Quick, in here!
Santorelli-How do we know we can trust you?
Man-Well, you can't but either you do or you can take on the raging mob, your choice.
Marco-Well put.
*The Animorphs run inside, Tobias swoops down and through the door after them*
*The crowd arrives just after the door closes*
Woman-Where'd they go?
Man#4-Dey just disappeared.
Man-Eh screw it, lets go watch some gay porn instead of looking.
Crowd-Hooray! *walk away*
*(inside) a dark dreary abandoned warehouse, people hang in the shadows, muttering as the Animorphs walk inside, a shapely female silhouette speaks*
Woman-The Animorphs, we always hoped you would return.
Tobias-[Who are you? You sound familiar somehow.]
Woman-Me? I'm the leader of this, rebellion, against the evil empire of Avril Lavigne, we fight against her and her, skaters.
Marco-Yes, but who are you? You sound so familiar.
Woman-Still remember this voice after all these years huh Marco? Yes, you knew me once, but it was in another lifetime...For all of us.
Jeanne-Stop with all the fancy speeches, show yourself!
Woman-Very well *steps into the light, flicking her "blonde" hair out of her face*
Jake-It's, it's, it's, it's, it's *Marco smacks him upside the head* YOU!
***To Be Continued***
Britz-Whoa, what suspense, I'm on the edge of my seat and I already know who this mysterious shapely blonde is (And yes Sarah, she's blonde, it still doesn't mean I want all females to be blonde) Now this time, I'm being real generous like and giving you an extra chap with no reviews but next chap, I have it all written up and I'm not gonna post till I get some sodding reviews so if your wanting this continued but are usually too lazy to give up a review, review it!!
Disclaimer-Not mine, not mine, and that Orgasmo joke I stole last chap? Not mine.
~Planet Strangelove, Or: How I Learned How To Stop Worrying And Love The Skater Bomb~
Chapter Three
Out in the harbour of New York, porn capital of porn capital Earth Avril Lavigne sat on the throne of her evil fortress, none other than the dramatically changed Statue of Liberty.
Instead of it's big dusty volume the statue now carried a skateboard tucked under her arm and no longer held her torch high, instead a blazing guitar scraped at the sky, held as if about to be ploughed into the harbour like it were some gigantic car's windshield.
All entrances were guarded by skater-guards, big muscular guys with long greasy hair, their skateboards at their sides like faithful dogs, their guitar-blasters (funnily enough a cross between a guitar and a dracon blaster) in their back holsters, the guards looked casual but stood ready for attack, or musical interlude.
Her large, imposing throne was made entirely of the chromed skulls of various talented musicians and untalented teenyboppers alike, her feet were propped up on a footrest composed of the shattered bone fragments of those brave few who had dared call her a teenybopper to her face.
Avril's Minister for Defence and Blowing Shit Up, Jeff, cowered before her, he didn't look quite right cowering with his 6'4" heavyset frame but cowering was a necessary evil when dealing with Queen Lavigne, half-mad with power, half-insane with cruelty and 24/7 crazy with an apparently permeant case of PMS that doctors and record producers were at a lose to explain.
"So they escaped the Robot guard, evaded the skater bombs and are currently somewhere in New York, plotting my downfall?" She asked.
"We can't get a confirmation on the plotting, but the rest is about right." Jeff replied, "They were last seen crashing in between their ex-team member Cassie's breasts."
"Whoa" Avril said, "What kind of bra size does she wear?"
Jeff looked momentarily confused "Oh, I mean a picture, a big picture of her breasts, they rammed into Cassie Industries storage facility."
"Right, send in a squad of Skater Boys, tell them to show no mercy."
"Right away my liege," Jeff hastily replied.
"We must make sure we kill them soon!" Avril shouted, "They must never be allowed to learn my horrible, blood-curdling, BONE-CHILLING secret!! Which could be used to bring my entire evil empire crashing down like so many car windshields!!!"
"Yes my queen, I think that's a given. But I must stress to you" Jeff got a hard gleam in his eyes, "We may be dealing with the most dangerous people on Earth.
Chapter Four
Jake-Whoa, look what she's doing to this llama!
*Jake sits on a crate reading through a Cassie mag with the claim "Inside: Cassie performs with 3 other woman, 4 guys and a Llama while she morphs!" The others are attempting to fix the ship as fast as possible*
Marco-Goddamnit Jake, I don't think you quite understand the situation here, we're stuck on a now hostile planet, being ruled by a bitchy pop star who wants us dead and the ship is broken, will you stop looking at porn and help out!!
Jake-I'm helping, I'm the captain, captains help by supervising...See look! With a damn llama! She'd never do that to me, I was always asking 'Cassie, please, just once..For Christ's sake Cassie, just touch it! Just once!' And now here she is rounding third with a llama!
Tobias-[Well, she always did like animals.]
Jake-*flips through pages* She's still going! Damnit, look at this! *turns the mag so that the others can see.*
Jeanne-Jake, how about you help out here, or you can go and do that, to yourself.
Jake-Oh, I've tried, can never reach the damn thing.
Others-*shudder, rub their temples and keep working*
Jake-Scuse us for a moment *walks inside the ship, clutching the magazine*
Santorelli-Oh god, I don't even wanna think about it.
Tobias-[Wait, everyone quiet.] *everyone stops, listens closely*
Marco-...What is it boy?
Tobias-[Shut up, someone's coming.]
Marco-I'm surprised they didn't come sooner; I mean we did rip a hole through her best features.
Jeanne-*sceptically* Her brain and personality right?
Marco-Yes, I believe they keep one in each tit.
Tobias-[Not just someone, someone's...A whole squad of someone's...On wheels!]
Others-*gasp*
Menderash-Wait, I think I missed why that's important.
*Two dozen Skater Boys ride through the door at one end of the warehouse area, guitar blasters blazing*
Santorelli-Ahh! Battle morphs!
Marco-Ya think?
*they morph under heavy fire for battle, 'cept Tobias, cause he doesn't need to and Menderash cause he can't.*
Jeanne-*Morphed for battle: Polar bear* [Let's get it on!]
Santorelli-*Morphed for battle: Lion* [Sing it sister!]
*A large and extravagant fight scene occurs (Heheh, ripped you off a fight scene)*
Marco-*Gorilla morph, punches out one Skater, takes his guitar* [Look everyone, I'm Avril Lavigne derp! *swings the guitar and sends another Skater* Heheh, I kill me.]
Jeanne-[Please do.] *smacks one Skater sending him flying out the huge hole the ship created.*
Skater-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(On the street)
Skater-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *smashes into the pavement*
*A guy and girl watch nonchantly*
Guy-Hey, look at that, its raining men.
Girl-Whatever dearie, listen Britz I think your really blowing this challenge out of proportion.
Britz-No dice Gem, this baby's an epic in the making.
*Another Skater crashes to the ground*
Britz-Nothing more I love than seeing skaters, falling to their deaths.
Gem-Why? Because they're henchman of Avril Lavigne's evil empire?
Britz-Nah, I just hate skaters.
(Back with our heroes)
*the fight is now over, dead and unconscious skaters litter the warehouse floor, the Animorphs morph back*
Marco-I'm starting to get the impression that Earth isn't going to welcome us back with open arms.
*a flushing noise is heard, Jake walks back out of the ship.*
Jake-*looks over the Skaters* Did I miss something again?
Menderash-*ignoring him* Let's face it, we don't have the time to fix the ship, we've got to leave it and get outta here.
Tobias-[Agreed, the sooner the better.]
Jake-Alright *picks up various copies of different Cassie mags, stuffs them in his pockets* let's clear out.
(5 minutes later, on the street.)
*The Animorphs exit the Cassie Industries building, Tobias fly's cover overhead. A crowd is gathering around the fallen skaters*
Jake-Phew, this could be close, as long as we avoid attracting attention *trips over a bunch of garbage cans, causing them to clatter to the ground*
Marco-Nice going fearless leader.
*The crowd ignores them, but across the street a video billboard stops displaying gay porn and flickers onto Avril Lavigne*
Avril-People of New York, the city is harbouring fugitives, they are known as, the Animorphs!
Crowd-*gasp*
Man-Wait, I think I missed why that's important.
Avril-They are seen here *pictures begin popping up on the screen of them* and were last seen in the area of Cassie Industries warehouse building.
Crowd-*gasp again*
Man-Hey, that's here, innit?
Avril-in fact, if you're outside the building, maybe gathering around the dead Skaters, there's a pretty good chance you'll see them if you turn around, right, now.
Crowd-*fresh gasp*
Man-*turns around, spots the Animorphs* Oi! There they are! Lets get 'em!
Crowd-*turns spots the Animorphs, let out a roar of attack*
Animorphs-Eep! *run*
*The crowd gives chase, the Animorphs and crowd race up and down streets, causing chaos*
Jake-*panting heavily* I can't go on *collapses to his knees* Go on, save yourselves.
Others-*haven't noticed, still running*
Woman-Look, there's one!
Man#2-He looks stupid and unimportant! Forget him, get the others!
Jake-Stupid and unimportant? I'll have you know I'm their captain.
Woman#2-He's the captain!
Man#3-Let's lynch him!
Crowd-YAAAY!
Jake-To hell with this *gets his second wind and runs after his crew*
*The Animorphs run into an alley, a big wooden door opens at the side, a man steps out*
Man-Quick, in here!
Santorelli-How do we know we can trust you?
Man-Well, you can't but either you do or you can take on the raging mob, your choice.
Marco-Well put.
*The Animorphs run inside, Tobias swoops down and through the door after them*
*The crowd arrives just after the door closes*
Woman-Where'd they go?
Man#4-Dey just disappeared.
Man-Eh screw it, lets go watch some gay porn instead of looking.
Crowd-Hooray! *walk away*
*(inside) a dark dreary abandoned warehouse, people hang in the shadows, muttering as the Animorphs walk inside, a shapely female silhouette speaks*
Woman-The Animorphs, we always hoped you would return.
Tobias-[Who are you? You sound familiar somehow.]
Woman-Me? I'm the leader of this, rebellion, against the evil empire of Avril Lavigne, we fight against her and her, skaters.
Marco-Yes, but who are you? You sound so familiar.
Woman-Still remember this voice after all these years huh Marco? Yes, you knew me once, but it was in another lifetime...For all of us.
Jeanne-Stop with all the fancy speeches, show yourself!
Woman-Very well *steps into the light, flicking her "blonde" hair out of her face*
Jake-It's, it's, it's, it's, it's *Marco smacks him upside the head* YOU!
***To Be Continued***
Britz-Whoa, what suspense, I'm on the edge of my seat and I already know who this mysterious shapely blonde is (And yes Sarah, she's blonde, it still doesn't mean I want all females to be blonde) Now this time, I'm being real generous like and giving you an extra chap with no reviews but next chap, I have it all written up and I'm not gonna post till I get some sodding reviews so if your wanting this continued but are usually too lazy to give up a review, review it!!