Person who Typed it up: Lee
Authors: Maia and Lee
Rating: PG 13
Description: Remember our crazy little devil doctor in Miracle Medicine? Well, he's back, and he's come to wreak havoc on all of our FF heroes.... MWAHA!
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny
nose! And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows-"
"Like a drunken barfly's!"
"Zidane!"
"All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call
him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any reindeer games! Then
one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say, 'Rudolph with your nose so
bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' Then how the reindeer loved
him and they shouted out with glee-"
"Yippe-yi-yay whoo hoo!"
"Zell!"
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you'll go down
in history!"
Everybody was having a great time at the castle
of Maia and Lee. Singing, happiness and general merriment were the only
things present... plus a lot of junk food and booze, for Mikoto mainly.
The Christmas party was in full swing.
Zidane was hunting for his Christmas cards down
his pants, when he found something out of the ordinary. It was a little
black book. He shrugged and put it in his pocket for further reference.
"Hey, Zidane, what-cha got there?!" Lee called,
ever the curious one, waving her hand and running over to him. Zidane pulled
the little book out of his pocket and handed it to Lee. She flipped it
open and gasped. A mischievous look crossed her face and she ran from the
room. Everyone stared after her. Moments later, she reappeared with a raggy
suit and a disguise that made her look like an old woman, one of those
prophecy women.
"Destruction! I foresee death, pain, destruction,
blood.... morphine..... scalpels! And terror! Lots of terror.... Yes, lots
of that!" She pulled the disguise off and began to run around the room,
waving her arms around. "Terror! Help! The Curse is upon us! Scream,
people! Horror! C'mon! I know you can scream for me!" Then, in a threatening
voice, "Scream....."
All the guests at the party began to run in circles
like chickens with their heads cut off. Lee smiled smugly and mischievously
and joined in the crowds. Maia closed her eyes half-way in exasperation
and yanked the book from Zidane as he passed, screaming. Scanning the first
page, she sighed in anger and started to shove her way through the crowds,
not caring that she elbowed people or stepped on their feet, which only
added to the confusion. Grabbing Locke, who had begun to hyperventilate,
by the collar, she shoved some sedatives down his throat. He sat down and
was run over by a couple of people, which knocked him out.
"There. That's take care of him for a couple of
hours." Ramming through more of the crowds, Maia happily knocked out Rinoa,
Amarant, Eiko, Yuffie, Quistis and Vincent on her way. She finally found
Lee. Taking out her large anime mallet, she whapped Lee over the head.
"........ Down I go....." Lee murmured and collapsed
to the floor. As she collapsed, seeing as how she was the one who had begun
the confusion, everything stopped and the people still standing were milling
about as if nothing had happened. Zell looked as though he was going to
be sick.
"Note to self: Never run after eating so... many....
hot dogs." He groaned in pain, holding his stomach. Maia, with a disgusted
look on her face, handed him a paper bag and pushed him over to a corner.
Then, she took Lee by the feet and dragged her from the room. Maia looked
at the cupboard under the stairs, and then up the stairs, which had a room
with a closet. Deciding which one would be more suitable to stuff Lee in,
she decided on the one up the stairs.
Thud. "Ow." Thud. "Ow." Thud. "Ow."
Maia grinned and laughed slightly. "Heh, heh, heh...."
Lee yelped again and Maia turned her head slightly to see her. "Shut up.
It's carpeted."
Reaching the top of the stairs, she dragged Lee
into the room and shoved her into a closet, locking her in the closet and
propping a chair under the handle to secure the door.
Grinning, Maia went back downstairs. She saw that
the people were having a second party (albeit Zell, who was.... doing something...
into the bag... >.), drinking and eating and talking. She picked up
the book, reading through it for a moment. Sighing, she turned to Zidane
and Dagger.
"Go. Kill Doctor. Morphine. Bad medicine. Terror,
as my crazy friend said. I need to go."
"Go where?" Zidane asked. Maia smiled.
"Gotta go and spend Christmas with my family. Duh."
She picked up her laptop and pressed the Escape button. She disappeared.
"Hey, what about your crazy friend?!" Dagger asked,
but Maia was gone... Only for the holidays, though. Meh.
Anyways, our heroic couple (Zidane and Dagger),
sat in the room, not knowing quite what to do. Suddenly, a group of men
in business suits ran out and shoved some forms under their noses.
"Hey! Hey! What's all this?!" Zidane cried as one
of the men tried to get Zidane's hand to write his name.
"Oh, it just makes you the legal heroes of this
story. It's all in the liability, folks." Dagger and Zidane sweatdropped
and signed the forms. The business men left.
"Alrighty, then.... Now what?" They sat there some
more, wondering how they were going to follow Maia's 'instructions'.
"Well... She said something about a Doctor and morphine.
Hmm....." Dagger told her husband. Zidane glanced around the room and,
spotting Dr. Kadowaki, he leaped up, tackled her and pinned her to the
floor, one of his hands groping for a sharp object.
"I got the doctor! Let's kill it! You think you
can morphine us, lady?!"
Quistis, Rinoa and Squall threw Zidane off and helped
Dr. Kadowaki up.
"Hey, Zidane! Don't attack our doctor! She keeps
Balamb healthy!" They all left, turning their noses up indignantly.
"Rich snobs. Never should've invited them and all
their money," Zidane murmured. He had an idea.
"Hey! Dagger! What about that girl in the closet!
She knows stuff! Let's see if she knows what's going on!" They raced for
the stairs and bounded up them.
As they went into the room, they heard Lee's voice
from the closet.
"Lemme outta here! I can call my lawyer! ....If
I had one... ....Don't even get me started on that subject! Don't I even
get a phone call? C'mon, lemme outta here! The food's probably getting
cold and I think this black hole behind me is getting bigger and-!" The
voice disappeared.
Zidane and Dagger ran to the door and yanked
it open, only to find that Lee was gone.
"Where'd she go?" Zidane asked as Dagger shrugged.
They stared at a large black hole in the back of the closet.
"So that's where my shoes keep going..." Dagger
muttered.
"Well, we need to find her to find out what's
going on... Let's get some supplies and some more party members, then we
leave!" Zidane shouted heroically. They ran back down the stairs and into
the large room with their party guests.
"Hey! Listen up! Drinks are being served in
the next room and we need two more party members for a quest!"
All the guests moved into the next room, muttering
things like, "Quest? Nuts to that, I want root beer." "I wonder if they
have Pepsi?" "Pepsi? What are you talking about? Coke is the only way to
go!" "Beer, beer, beer, beer...." No one mentioned anything about the quest.
"Hey, people! C'mon! We need two more party
members!" Someone threw a tomato at Zidane and it squished into his face.
"OK, I take that as a maybe?" he asked hopefully. He stared as they passed
them. Only two stayed behind. One was wearing a thong skirt and the other
was wearing a black trench coat. They both had long silver hair.
"Kuja?! Sephiroth?!" Zidane and Dagger cried
in bewilderment. Both the villains glared at them.
"We're going to come, but not to help you,"
Kuja remarked, straightening his hair and rubbing at the eye shadow, prissily.
Zidane sweatdropped.
"Yeah, we're doing it because we have a grudge
against the doctor. And... We have to save Lee!" Sephiroth told them as
he took out his Masamune and swished the air with it a couple times. He
cut off the tip of one of Kuja's feathers. Kuja gasped.
"How DARE you?!" he shrieked, turning red
in the face. He stomped one of his feet and clenched his fists. Then he
began to mourn the loss of the feather tip like it had been a friend. Zidane
and Dagger both sweatdropped.
"Well, come on then. We have to get it on.
We have to save us all!" Zidane cried heroically. Kuja and Sephiroth gave
a "Hmph" and Dagger hung onto Zidane's arm.
"Let's go!"
"And fast," the two villains muttered, following
the two young people out the door.
As they left, Maia returned. Locke and Cloud
fluttered around her.
"G-Get... Get OFF!" She looked around for
the 'heroes' of this story. "Where'd they go?"
------------------------
Zidane, Dagger, Sephiroth and Kuja were purchasing
items at an item shop, Zidane and Dagger buying useful things, Sephiroth
and Kuja buying destructive things.
"Teehee... I love causing trouble!" Kuja giggled,
picking up a summoner's crystal. "Mwahahaha... Death and destruction from
a Bahamut.... Keeheehee..."
Sephiroth picked up a double bladed light
sabre. Then he sweatdropped and threw it back at the weapon seller. "Yuck!
No way!" He picked up a katana twice the length of his Masamune. "Sweet.
Longer reach. Hahahaha....."
They bought their weapons and rejoined the
young couple, who had purchased many items. Zidane dropped everything into
his pants. He looked up and saw Sephiroth and Kuja staring in disgust.
"What? Where'd you think I kept everything?"
They both shuddered and vowed not to use potions
in their own way. Kuja tied a little string around his finger and Sephiroth
muttered, "Note to self: Use no potions."
Then, they purchased food. Sitting down in
the food court, they bought some fantasy fries, a chocoboburger and a Coke
each (Coke is universal...^_^). Sephiroth ate his whole-heartedly, while
Kuja picked at his, muttering about unwanted calories. Dagger ate hers
sloppily, then wiped her mouth daintily on a napkin before digging in once
again. Zidane ate like a normal guy, piggish and with no manners whatsoever
(Author's Note: As you can tell, we are women... ^_^).
Then, they left McDonald's (that's universal
as well... ^_^). Traveling outside the castle of Maia and Lee, they did
little things with their stuff, being kind of bored. Zidane flapped his
hands and made plane sounds, Dagger hummed the tune of Madain Sari, Kuja
joined her until she glared at him, then he began to hum his theme song.
Sephiroth twirled his Masamune, making light-sabre sounds, trying to figure
out a cool new Limit Break. Kuja turned to him.
"What's with you and light-sabres?"
Sephiroth answered slowly, with a glare, "Absolutely
nothing...."
Kuja sweatdropped. "Okay!" He gave a thumbs
up and stopped talking.
They walked and walked and walked and walked,
then they walked some more and walked and walked and walked and walked
and walked and walked.... you get the idea.... ^_^
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Meanwhile, back at Maia and Lee's castle.....
-----------------------
Maia shoved some more sedatives down Locke's
throat, sighing as he passed out. Then, she turned to Cloud, handing him
a piece of paper.
"Okay, this is how many sedative doses you
give Locke each day. Got it? Can you do this, Cloud?"
He stared at her and sighed. "Absolutely. I am at your command...."
His eyes glazed over and his mouth hung open. Yuffie, in a business suit,
passed by and waved a hand in front of his face.
"You look like you've lost major money!" She
shoved a brochure into his pocket. "Try 1800-saveyergil and save big gils!"
She gave him a thumbs up and left. Maia backed away from Cloud.
"I'm going to.... go... now...." She quickly
pressed her Escape button and disappeared. Cloud moaned and leaned against
the wall, a glazed and sad look on his face. Mikoto passed Cloud. Eyeing
him, she shook her head.
"Somebody looks sad... You need booze!" She
flicked a load of gil adding up to 200 at him and left. Cloud took the
money and shoved it into his pockets.
"Score! Free gil!"
Locke came to for a moment, mumbling, "Actually,
if you need booze, she keeps it in her cupboards, I think..." He passed
out again.
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Maia: *snickers* five reviews for chapt. two!!