Maia: OK. C'mon, laugh for me people!! LAUGH!! Laughing is good for you. Smile at the very least, that's good for you too. ^__^ See, lookit me smile. ~_^ I'm so nice, giving this to you after only 3 reviews when I said I'm waiting for 5... Oh well.

------------------------
Back to our walking people...
------------------------

...... and they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and... wait, didn't we already do this? Oh well.... And walked and walked and walked and walked and... okay, my hands are getting tired...
Anyways, Sephiroth was still making light-sabre sounds, Dagger was still singing, Zidane had moved onto bird noises and Kuja was examining a feather he had pulled from his hair.
"Poor Number Seven. I wish you didn't have to leave me," Kuja murmured to the purple feather and dropped it on the ground. He stopped and waved to it before continuing with the others.
Then, Zidane saw something amazing.
"Hey, what the hell's that? Gasp! A castle!"
"Let's go!" Dagger shouted.
"And fast," the two villains muttered in unison. They all began to run in the direction of the castle. They entered the gates, because they were open. Skidding to a halt, they realized that they were standing in McDonald's. Zell passed them.
"Hey guys! Back so soon?"
The Librarian Girl With the Funny Pigtails That Zell's in Love With yelled to Zell, "Don't you dare buy any hotdogs!"
"Aww... But I want hotdogs!"
"No, damnit, Zell! Do you want to have to get yet another stomach pumping?!"
"For hotdogs, it's worth it!"
Zidane, Dagger, Kuja and Sephiroth stared in amazement.
"How did we end up back here?" Sephiroth asked.
"We walked in a straight line, for goodness sakes!" Kuja shrieked. "All that walking for nothing!?"
Maia reappeared with a little special effects smoke.
"Hey guys. Back so soon? Where's Lee? Is she down your pants Zidane?"
Zidane coughed and shuddered. "Shiva, no! What makes you say that!? Don't answer!" he said as she opened her mouth. "I don't want an answer!"
"Okay, then... Well, I guess I should tell you why you ended up back here. You see, in our little universe, it's basically an endless loop. Go East and you'll end up back here, but from West. Go South and you end up North and vice versa. Our world is round, after all!" she said in a Martha Stewart kind of voice.
They all stared at her for a moment. Then, Kuja turned on Zidane.
"This was all your fault! You were the one leading us! I broke a sweat! I oughta-!" He broke off and lunged at Zidane, wrapping his hands around the monkey boy's neck. He began to shake him back and forth, strangling him. Sephiroth intercepted.
"Kuja! No! Your hands are too weak!" He shoved Kuja aside and began to strangle Zidane himself, shaking him back and forth by the neck. Kuja jumped back up and took a hold of Zidane's neck as well, trying to lend any of his strength in killing Zidane. Dagger grabbed one of their arms each and shrieked about not killing her husband. A newsreporter passed by.
"And here they are folks. The heroes of our story! Let's take a look at them and their happy journey." The camera was turned to the four, who were still trying to maul each other in one way or another. When they realized that the camera was on them, they all grinned and hugged each other, though the two silver-haired guys felt sick because of it.
"Are you happy on your journey, Zidane, Dagger and... theeee other two?"
"Well, yes, considering that I'm only one of the 'other two'" Sephiroth remarked, still grinning and hugging Dagger. Zidane and Kuja were left to hug each other and they didn't like that one little bit.
First, Zidane poked Kuja, who kept smiling. Kuja poked him back. They kept smiling, though now it was strained, and they seemed to be blinking a lot. Zidane tripped Kuja, who stumbled a little, purposefully knocking into Zidane. Then, Zidane flicked Kuja in the forehead. This really made Kuja mad and he snarled and stomped one of his feet.
"Did you just FLICK me?" he gasped, glaring. Zidane glared back.
"Maybe I did and maybe I didn't!"
"I think you did!" Kuja leapt at Zidane and wrestled him to the floor and started to beat on him, kicking and biting him. He also scratched him with his pretty nails... ^_^ which he then broke one of... ~_~
"You made me break a nail!" Kuja shrieked. He started to punch as well.
They were having an all out fist fight... right on live TV... the reporter and the camera crew all stood, staring, their mouths hanging open. Turning back to the camera, the reporter chuckled nervously.
"Well, there you have it.... Our... happy... heroes..." He started to draw a finger across his neck. "Cut the camera! Cut the camera! Dammit, I said cut it!" he hissed, drawing his finger over his neck several times.
"Hey! Don't you see the sign on the gate?! It says 'No Reporters in This Universe'!" Maia yelled. She pointed a ray-gun looking thing at them. "Out! Don't make me use the Deleter!"
The camera guys and the reporter looked at each other for a moment before racing off, dropping their cameras and electronic equipment. Maia grinned.
"Yes! Now me and Lee can do an actual movie of our fics!" She pressed a couple keys on her laptop and the stuff disappeared. "Score." Turning back to the four "heroes", she frowned.
"Okay, I think this is a special case. I'm going to bend the rules a bit."
"What rules?" Dagger asked. Maia grinned.
"I'm comin' with ya!" She grinned. "I'm special. Oh, wait, I need some... 'stuff'. Destructive stuff..."
Sephiroth and Kuja both perked up. "Destructive stuff? Did we hear correctly? This is one cool girl! Tell us more..." They sidled up to her and stood on either side of her, slinging arms around her shoulders. Cloud appeared out of nowhere and wailed at the top of his lungs.
"Hey! Stop trying to make a move on my girl!"
Sephiroth and Kuja glared at him. "We are doing no such thing. It's just that there's a... destructive thing about her and it intrigues us. She has weapons of unimaginable power, I'm sure.... Right?" Sephiroth glanced down at Maia, who shook her head with a grin. "Okay, well, she's cool!"
Cloud hung his head in defeat and walked off. Maia shrugged.
"Meh."
"Meh indeed," both the villains muttered with her. Taking their arms from around her shoulders, they smiled. "Tell us more of the 'destructive' things you mentioned."
"Just a sec, I'll be back." She disappeared. They stared at the spot where she had vanished, without realizing that she had pushed some weird code, then Enter on her keyboard. She reappeared.
"Okay, I'm back." She was wearing different, cooler clothes. She basically wore Trunks clothes. (DBZ watchers, you know what I'm talking about... If you don't know, look at our Gallery. He's the one with purple hair...) She had a ninja headband and carried a samurai sword.
"Okay, checklist time. Sword, check." She rolled up her sleeves and they saw a dagger on each wrist. "Daggers, check. Cool Trunks clothes, check. Okay, I'm so ready to go!" She smiled and started to walk back to her castle. "C'mon, let's go!"

-------------------------

A shadow darkened the wall in the flickering light. The shadow was of a figure. He began to laugh, his head thrown back.
"Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" The lights turned back on and the shadow disappeared, leaving the tiny form of a Black Mage in a doctor coat.
"I'm the evil, villainous Dr. 666!" he shouted, trying to look impressive. A Terraian nurse bashed into him.
"Oh, sorry, Doctor. I didn't see you! You're so small and unimpressive and...." she trailed off and left him. He glared.
"I'm not small!" he yelled, stomping his foot.
All the nurses looked up and chorused, "Hail the almighty tiny doctor!"
Dr. 666 sweatdropped and then glared at them all. "Begone!" he screeched, racing at them and hissing. He pulled out a needle of morphine and a scalpel. "Begone or I'll open you all up after drugging you horribly!"
The nurses all shrieked and fled the room. One remained.
"Ah, my new nurse. Come here."
You can guess who it was, can't you? Lee stood beside Dr. 666 and said in a monotonous tone, "Yes, master, I am at your service." It seemed she had been brainwashed. Then she smiled, winked and made a peace-sign with her fingers. "Yeeha! I get to morphine people! Tell me this isn't so totally awesome! Peace-out man!"
"Shut up," Dr. 666 muttered and pulled out a scalpel. "Shut up or I see what you ate yesterday." He made stabbing motions with the scalpel. Lee glared at him.
"And how are you going to do that, O almighty tiny doctor? I think I could beat your ass if I felt like it. I'm only here 'cause morphine is cool!"
"So you may think, but you don't know that I brainwashed you."
"You didn't brainwash me! What the hell are you talking about? I came through the closet, you tried to morphine me, I got pissed and shoved the needle into your own arm and gave you a shot, then you told everybody that you had over-powered me and brought me to be your new nurse."
"Okay, so maybe that's the real story but... Ah, shut up."
"Make me, puny doctor! I'll talk if I damn well want to!"
"C'mere! I'll morphine you so much you won't even be able to talk! Or laugh at me!" He chased her around the room before she stopped, clotheslined him, relieved him of his needle and placed it at his arm.
"I'll do it. I swear, I will."
"Fine, you win this round." He got up.
"Just remember, I'm one of the almighty and powerful webmistresses! I'm only here 'cause I want to be. Besides, what's a story without a little double-dealing traitor?"
"Fine."
She stuck her tongue out at him and left to go and lurk in the shadows and morphine passing pedestrians of the little Dr. 666 universe.

-----------------------

"Ooh. Where'd you get the clothes?" Kuja asked, obviously interested in Maia's clothes. She smiled at him.
"From a friend of mine in the DBZ world," she answered. Kuja nodded and took a little thread from the edge of one of his sleeves and tied it around his finger. He now had two on his left index finger, which was beginning to lose circulation and was going Kuja's favorite color.
"But I daren't take them off, lest I lose my thoughts," Kuja muttered sadly, staring at his rapidly purple-turning finger.
"Don't you pay more attention to your feathers than to your fingers?" Maia asked. Kuja nodded.
"But this is a special case."
"Okie dokie." She looked around. "Where's Locke? I gotta take care of things before we leave..." She pressed some more buttons on her computer and hit Enter and a pretty carry-bag appeared. "Here, we can carry stuff in this, like potions and things like that."
"But, what about the stuff in MY inventory?" Zidane protested.
"I don't think most people will want to use your stuff, Zidane.... Besides, I can carry my computer in it," Maia told him. Zidane shrugged and grabbed the bag, shoving it down his pants. Maia cried out.
"No! What are you doing! Gimme that!" She slapped him and pulled his pants away from his skin and shoved her hand down, yanking out her bag. She dropped the bag and grabbed her computer. Tapping in some buttons and Enter, a little bottle appeared. She dumped the contents on her hand.
"What's that?" Dagger asked. Maia shuddered.
"Holy Water, to cleanse my hand." As the water rushed towards the drain, little ghosts flew from the water and wailed for a moment before disappearing. Maia blinked at them.
"Meh. I guess that's what Holy Water does." She jumped back up and ran into her castle, where Locke was waiting. She handed a large bag to Terra, who was sitting with Locke.
"Here! Give those to him every eight hours! If you miss one, he might murder you all in your beds." She thought for a moment before dropping another bottle in Terra's hand. "If he starts to show increased insanity or hyperventilation, give him ONE of these. The sedatives will knock him out."
Locke looked slightly insulted. "Meh. I'm not THAT crazy."
"Whatever." Maia turned from them and waved. "Bye, everybody. Have fun!"
Cloud was sitting in an armchair, thoroughly depressed. He sniffed and watched her leave. "Aw, man. She's leaving again. It's not fair!!!!!!" he wailed.
Mikoto passed him again and saw him crying. "Woah! You need booze!" She gave him more gil and left.
Maia popped back in. "Bye, Cloudy! See you when we get back!" Then she left for good.
A dumb grin crept up on Cloud's face. "She smiled at me! ME!" He went into hysterics. Terra, without a second thought, shoved a sedative down his throat. He lapsed into unconsciousness.

----------------------

Maia led the four "heroes" (*cough*HAHAHA*cough* ^_~) upstairs to the closet of Lee's room.
"Okay. This closet leads to the Final Fantasy 7 world, because that's Lee's favorite. Anyways, we'll start the search there." She flung open the door and stepped in. There was a flash and she disappeared. The others followed, Zidane saying, "Cool!" as he disappeared.
They ended up in the Final Fantasy 7 realm, as Maia had said. And not just anywhere. Right in Sephiroth's house. Maia rolled her eyes.
"She must have rehooked it. I had it going to Nibelheim."
Sephiroth crossed over the room to his fridge and opened the door. Looking in, he saw the stuff in it. "Hey! This is my house!"
"No, really?" Kuja remarked sarcastically. Sephiroth glared at him and Kuja came to stand beside Sephiroth and peer into the fridge. There was a carton of milk and a jar of peanut butter and a lot of cobwebs.
"Is that all? Milk and peanut butter?" Kuja asked. Sephiroth turned to him with a look of confusion.
"I have peanut butter?"
Kuja, rolling his eyes, reached in and picked up the jar. "Yeah. You do."
"Nice!" He took the jar and grabbed a piece of bread from his bread box and began to put peanut butter on it. He was whistling happily. "I never get a chance to go shopping. Mother insists on doing the shopping and all she ever buys is motor oil and stuff for her mechanical parts."
Kuja sweatdropped. "I see. Don't you get hungry?"
"No. Lee brings me normal food. I think that's why she rehooked her portal thingy."
Maia sighed. "Then she should have put it in the kitchen closet at our place. Then she wouldn't have to smuggle food past me to her room. I'm gonna reroute it to the kitchen closet." She typed some things onto her computer. "Let's see, rerouting. Ah, she put the Nibelheim portal in the kitchen closet. How oddly clever for her. Never mind, she always does this. Once, she put the portal from Balamb Garden in the kitchen sink and people were forever appearing in the sink, wet and confused. Then, once, she deleted the toilet and we couldn't get in because neither of us had no idea what she had done. I finally remade the toilet, which was extremely boring. Do you know how long it takes to get the darn thing working?" She pressed Enter on her computer. "There. Sephiroth, whenever you need a snack, go into your closet and you'll end up in our pantry. Good enough for you?"
"And how!"
She smiled. "Good." Repacking her computer, which Zidane eyed, she glared at him then placed the computer case in her carrysack. "No way, Zidane. Not again. I'm running out of Holy Water. There's only so much of it in your world." Thoughtfully, she added, "If we run out here, I'll have to import it from somewhere else. Ooh, the Castlevania world's gotta have a lot! But then, it's so far away, it's gonna cost lots of money. Meh, I'll just scam them on the internet. Heh." She entered Sephiroth's room again. "C'mon guys. We need to go back for a moment."
They entered the closet and reappeared in the kitchen closet in Maia and Lee's castle. Then, they went back upstairs and into Lee's room.
"Okay. Now we are going to Nibelheim. Then, we're off on the search!"
They stepped back into the closet.

--------------------

Maia: I love the next chapter. Heheheheh... R&R!! Laughing is good medicine!! ^-^