Maia: I love this chapter. Pacman rules!!!

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Appearing in Nibelheim, they stood next to the fountain. Zidane and Dagger looked around.
"Wow. Never been here before. Seems poor or something," Zidane remarked. Kuja nodded and ran his hand through the water.
"The water's colder here!" Looking at the snow-topped mountains, he said, "Oh, okay, I get it."
Sephiroth spread his arms. "Welcome to Nibelheim! The place where I went as crazy as a loon and then killed a bunch of people before Cloud, that accursed little devil, killed me!" He smiled with a strain, his right eye twitching angrily.
Maia sighed. "You didn't really die. It was only a game."
"Oh really?" Sephiroth asked. He looked down at himself and saw that he wasn't dead. "Oh. Okay. I guess you're right."
"Of course I'm right." She patted his arm. "Besides, Cloud didn't mean it, even in the game."
Sephiroth glared at her. "Ooh. You're one of THEM, aren't you? The ones who play the game as him and try to hurt me! Well let me tell you, he's not as good as he thinks he is! He's got problems, lady! Major problems!"
Maia ignored him and began to walk. "C'mon, guys."
"Where to?" Dagger asked, following Maia. She smiled at her.
Maia smiled back. "I don't know. Anywhere, really. Somewhere where we might find clues on Dr. 666."
"Let's go to the Shinra Mansion!" Sephiroth exclaimed. Everyone glanced uneasily at him. He grinned.
"What?"
"Is that a good idea?" Zidane asked nervously. Sephiroth nodded.
"What are you getting at?" he asked.
"Well.... Didn't you go... kind of... crazy... in that mansion?" Kuja asked, moving away slowly.
"Yes. And your point being?"
"None! Let's get going!" Maia told them, running towards the mansion. "Well, c'mon! If we're gonna find anything, this place is a good place to start!"
"Easy enough for her," Kuja muttered. "She can disappear if things get ugly. With pretty lights and puffs of smoke!"
"I heard that!" Maia yelled back. "I know how to fight! I ain't leaving if things get rough!"
They all entered the mansion.

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Cloud appeared at the square in Nibelheim. He had guessed correctly that they had gone to Nibelheim. He stood there for a moment, glancing around for Maia. When he didn't see her, he ran to the nearest person. Taking him by the throat, he shook him back and forth.
"Have you seen a vivid, absolutely gorgeous young lady pass through here?!"
The kid gasped out," We have a lot of pretty women in our town!"
"But this one! She's the most beautiful thing on two legs! She's wearing a Trunks jacket, a headband thingy and she carries around a sword!"
"Trunks? I don't know what the hell you're talking about! Lots of girls wear headbands here. And a sword! She sounds dangerous! I should report her!"
"Report her and I kill you! Ah, beautiful and deadly. So wonderful..." Hearts appeared in his eyes and he let the kid go. "Carry on..." he mumbled, stumbling away in a daze.

Maia's Note: I'm glad that he's so... devoted to me.... but does he have to follow me around? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's devoted to me! It's nice to know that someone's devoted to me, but I think he's going a little overboard here...

Cloud, not noticing where he was going, ran into a pole.

Maia's Note: Didn't I tell you? Aww... Poor Cloudy...

"Lousy pole... Who put that there?" Cloud mumbled angrily, rubbing his nose as it throbbed in pain. He stood back up and began to walk again.
"Now, where would she go? Hmm....." He looked up and saw the mansion.
"Gasp! She's always out for an adventure! I'm sure she's in there!" He made off for the mansion.

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Entering the mansion, the five "heroes" looked around at the entrance room.
Maia shrugged. "Well, let's go. How 'bout through that door?" They agreed and entered. As they closed the door, it disappeared behind them. "Uh oh, maybe it was the wrong room."
Staring around them, they saw that they were in a giant vertical maze.
"Umm...?" Sephiroth and Kuja asked. A yellow circle came up to them.
"I am General Pacman! Help me to defeat the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of! They have taken over my maze!"
All the heroes sweatdropped. "What?"
"Help me to return my maze to it's rightful color! Rrrred!" They glanced around and saw that the maze was blue.
"Do we have to?" Zidane asked. Pacman nodded.
"What do we have to do?" Dagger asked.
"Collect the dots!" They all glanced around and saw that the maze was now filled with dots.
"Okaaaayyyy...." Maia muttered. "Sure, I guess we'll help you..."
"Okay! Go now, and be swift and sure! Run into trouble and the Cookie Captains shall help you!" He disappeared with a pop. They all stared at the spot where he had been.
"Why are we suddenly in a Pacman game?" Kuja asked, grabbing a dot from the air and examining it. It disappeared.
"No idea," Maia answered. "Well, let's get this over with." She grabbed a dot and it vanished in her hand. They all started to grab dots from the air.
Then, the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of came and began to float towards them. *gasp and horror ^_^* Then, Pacman appeared.
"Oh my God! The Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of!" he shouted. "C'mon, we have to find the Cookie Captains!" He bit the air and floated away, making funny "wakka, wakka, wakka" sounds. They all looked at each other for a moment, shrugged and followed.
They ran around a couple corners and found Pacman talking to a large chocolate chip cookie. He wore a little captain's hat.
"I am one of the four Cookie Captains!" he shouted in a military fashion. "I hear that you need my help to fend off the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of!"
Suddenly, one of the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of leaped down from above, an evil look on it's face, it's teeth bared. They all gasped as it stopped in front of Pacman. Then, it poked Pacman, who shriveled up *insert Pacman shriveling sound here* and disappeared. A Ms Pacman suddenly appeared and screamed in a shrill voice, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
The Cookie Captain glanced at the heroes, then at the screaming Ms Pacman. Zidane looked at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, which was smiling evilly, and glared.
"Cookie Captain, tend to the widowed Ms Pacman. Guys, let's kill it." He leaped forward, drawing his dagger. Suddenly, the air went a little dark and the top of the maze, to the bottom, began to bleed/melt. (It's from Legend of Dragoon)
"Gah! What's this?" Sephiroth asked as his head kind of melted away from his body, then the rest of him followed.
"Battle transition, duh," Zidane remarked as his feet finished melting away. They reappeared in a black void and at their feet, little timed bars appeared.
"What the.....?" Dagger asked. Maia shrugged and they all watched the timed bars until Maia's filled up.
"Yay. I get to attack first. Yeeha." She dashed at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of and slashed at it with her sword. A little "9" flashed above it's head. Maia went back to the line of her companions and she twitched with anger.
"Nine? Nine?! I just slashed him and all I do is NINE?!" she screeched, stamping her foot, an angry anime thingy appearing on her forehead. Zidane shrugged, a superior smile on his face.
"What'd you expect? You're a chick."
Maia glared in hatred at him and snarled before shutting up. Sephiroth's turn came and he dashed at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of and jumped into the air, bringing his Masamune down. A "45" appeared above it's head. As Sephiroth came back to the line, Maia punched him and a little "1" flashed over his head.
"What?" he asked, slightly hurt, emotionally, that is.
"Why do you do so much more damage than me?"
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," Sephiroth replied sophisticatedly. She glared and watched as the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of attacked Dagger. It sucked her in and ate her before spitting her out. She landed on the ground and then stood up, brushing herself off as a little "15" appeared over her head.
"Didn't that hurt?" Kuja asked, slightly appalled.
"No. Whatever are you talking about?"
He shrugged. "Okay."
Maia got to attack again (because she's so fast ^_^) and she hit the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name again. A little "9.5" appeared over it's head. Maia went back into the line.
"What the hell? 9.5?! Is that even possible?!" She became really angry and the bar at her feet began to flash. She glared at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of. "Mwahahahahaha!" she laughed evilly, then she stopped and glanced at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of and said in a monotonous tone, "Limit Break. Booya." She dashed at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, yelling, "Shadow Dance!" Striking out, she hit the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name multiple times, bursts of dark shadows flashing with the slashes. She came back as a "44" appeared over it's head. She twitched. Sephiroth began to laugh.
"You suck!" he shouted with a laugh. He held up his left hand and made a backwards "L". "Loser! Loser! You did a Limit Break and it still only did 44, one less than me!" He broke off into fits of laughter. Maia glared angrily and punched him. A little "1" appeared over his head.
"There! 45!!!!" she yelled. Sephiroth glared mockingly and attacked the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of again and hit it for "50" damage. He stuck his tongue out at Maia, who glared.
Zidane attacked for "40" damage with his dagger. Dagger attacked for "25" with a critical hit. (as you can tell, I'm trying to hurry this battle along... But it'll end with a bang... ^_^)
Kuja summoned Bahamut, who came down and attacked with it's cool attack, blowing a large hole in the ground and causing an explosion. Sephiroth came out of the disappearance thingy too early and got blown up for "45" damage. He blew a puff of smoke out of his face.
"Ouch."
Maia came out of the disappearance thingy and smiled as the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of died and the area returned to normal. She stuck her tongue out at Sephiroth, who was still slightly charred.
"Don't you know how to stay in the disappearance thingy?" She smiled as he stared at her. She grinned. "To put it in simpler form..." She made an "L" with her hand. "Loser!!!!" She stopped and sat down. Maia looked around for her carry-bag. "Where is it? Where's my computer?" She glanced at Zidane. "Zidane.........?"
"No! I don't have it!"
"Oh, wait, here it is!" Her carry-bag appeared with a pop on her lap and she rummaged for her computer in it. When she found it, she set it on her lap. "Now to figure out what's wrong with me. My stats are just as high as Sephiroth, so I should be doing around the same amount of damage, but for some reason I'm not. Lesse...." She gasped. "What the hell?! My sword's wooden!?" She examined it. She flicked the blade and it went ping. "It's metal!"
"Ah, yes, but you see," Zidane explained, "in most RPG games, even though the name and power of your weapon change, it's appearance doesn't."
"Jeez, so that's what was wrong." She typed in a couple things. "There. Now I have a real sword!"
Everybody nodded dumbly and turned to Sephiroth.
"Shouldn't you take a potion, Sephiroth?" Kuja asked. Sephiroth nodded and held out his hand. Zidane began to reach down his pants and Sephiroth recoiled.
"Wait a second.... Note to self.... What was it? ... Oh my god! Note to self: Use no potions!" He took back his hand as Maia came forward, holding out an "untainted" potion.
"Here, take this one..." she muttered, shoving it into his hand. Under her breath, she mumbled, "Loser."
He examined the potion that Maia had given him. "Nestea? What's that?"
"Oh, it's just the bottle. Nestea is actually iced tea! Good stuff." She started to drink from a water bottle.
"Where'd you get that?" Dagger asked.
"Do you really wanna know?"
"Yes. How much stuff do you have in that bag?!"
"You don't wanna know..."
"Yes, we do!" all of them shouted in unison. Maia shrugged and began to pull out things like paper, pencils, pens, notebooks, textbooks, potions and regular things. Then, she pulled out a desk lamp and all of the heroes looked at each other uneasily. She started to lug out a desk and they all held up their hands and started yelling, "No, wait! We don't wanna know!"
Maia shrugged and blinked. "Meh. I was getting to the bottom anyway."
"How big is that bag?" Dagger asked, awed.
"As big as I want it to be," was the calm reply, as if it were a normal, everyday occurrence to be pulling out desks from small carry-bags.
Suddenly, the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of came back. The same one. It began to laugh. Zidane hit it over the head but it kept laughing.
"Hahahahahaha! You can't kill me! I am immortal! And now I shall kill you and you shall become a part of the Lifestream and then I shall become a God!"
Maia muttered to Dagger, "Sounds like Sephiroth on a bad day."
"Hey! That's my line!" Sephiroth shouted indignantly, becoming very depressed because the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of stole his line.
"Oh, wait, wrong video game villain..." the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of said, sweatdropping.
Sephiroth got angry and stabbed the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, killing it again. It's eyes floated away and everybody calmed down. Seconds later, the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of came back, laughing.
"No matter how many times you kill me, I come back!"
Zidane looked at everybody. "Okay, everyone, this is obviously above our heads. The only thing honorable that we can do is.... RUN!" He dashed off, leaving everybody in a daze for a moment, before they ran after him. They ran through the maze, racing off one side and coming out on the opposite side. They stopped for a moment, shrugged and continued running. Maia stopped for a moment.
"Everybody! The only way we can get out of here is to collect the dots! Split up and grab those dots!" She dashed off one way, grabbing dots as she ran. They all ran off different ways, grabbing dots. Dagger was too short to grab any dots, so she went with Zidane. Sephiroth, because he was hungry, tried to eat them as he went, but they disappeared before he could swallow them.
After a while, they had collected every dot except for one, which lay outside the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of lair. (That doesn't sound grammatically correct, does it? Oh well....) They all debated on who would go and get it, because the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of were guarding it. Maia sighed and decided that she would get it, but the others had to distract the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of. They all agreed and Sephiroth, being the bravest, ran off and started screaming at the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of, calling them names.
"Hey! You... undead thingy! Try and get me!" He stuck out his tongue and waved with both of his hands, before dashing away. Zidane glared at one of the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of.
"My ultimate defense," he whispered. Yanking down his pants, they saw that the inside of his pants were lined with potions and lots of items. Taking a potion in his hand, he threw it at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of. It howled and ran off, yelping.
Kuja pulled out a little bottle from somewhere and unscrewed the cap, which had a little brush on it. He brandished it at one of the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of, which blinked.
"What the hell is that, you stupid little girl?"
Kuja glared. "I'm not a girl! And it's nail polish, thank you very much! I'll... polish you!" He began to chase the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, waving the brush, an evil grin on his face.
"Come back here! I'll polish you purple!"
The last Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of grinned when he saw short, slender Dagger as his opponent.
"Heh heh heh... I get the easy one..." He moved towards her when suddenly she roared and leaped at the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, brandishing her dagger. She walloped it over the head and it fell to pieces and it's eyes floated away. She placed her hands on her hips and gave a very falsetto laugh.
"That'll teach anyone to mess with girls!" (Note: Power to the women! Revolt! C'mon, girls! Let's take out the men! ^_^)
Back to Maia, who was trying to sneak over to get the dot. The Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of saw her and began to race towards her, screaming, "Stop her! Protect the Almighty Holy Dot!"
Maia grabbed the dot and ran off, glancing behind her. The dot wasn't disappearing in her hands. "It's not disappearing! Why's it not disappearing?!"
"Well obviously!" Zidane yelled at her. "We have to kill the boss first!"
"This isn't Final Fantasy! We only have to get the dot! It's Pacman, not Final Fantasy!"
"This IS Final Fantasy!" Dagger exclaimed. "We're in it and this is Shinra Mansion!"
Maia started to scream. She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. Sephiroth jumped out of nowhere and fended them off with his Masamune. The Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of recoiled in fear and Sephiroth made an "L" with his left hand.
"Losers!"
Maia sweatdropped. "Um... Sephiroth? If you do it with your LEFT hand, it's backwards to them! If it's forwards to you, it's backwards to them!" she shouted. Everybody looked at Sephiroth and sweatdropped.
Sephiroth held up the "L" with his right hand and looked at it, then turned his hand and looked at it the other way. "Dude!"
"*sigh* Just KILL them already!" Maia yelled, starting to run off as Sephiroth turned back to the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names.
"Time to die... again."
"Hmm... time to tackle this logically," Dagger said, placing her head in her hands. Zidane gave her a funny look.
"Logic? What is this logic you speak of so frequently?"
"It's for people with brains, who know how to use their minds."
"Minds? Brains? Mmm.... brains...."
Dagger sweatdropped. "Nevermind. Anyway, have you noticed that, when you destroy the ghosts, their eyes are the only things that remain? Their eyes regenerate them! Hey, take out their eyes!" Dagger shouted at Sephiroth.
"Okay!" Sephiroth brandished his Masamune and Kuja raced in, holding up a stick that he had got from somewhere. They nodded at each other and poked the eyes of one of the Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of. It screamed and threw the sides of the bedsheets (Yes, I believe that's what they're made of) to it's eyes, screaming.
"Nooooo!! The Eyes of Power! My one true weakness! How could you have found out?!" He melted with a *insert Pacman shriveling sound here* sound.
Sephiroth and Kuja poked out the eyes of the remaining two Pacman Ghosts That the Authors Forgot the Names of, who started to scream about "Eyes of Power".
Maia stopped, sighing in relief. Behind her, a large Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of crept up, opening it's mouth, preparing to eat her.
"Yo! Watch your back!" Sephiroth shouted, dashing forward and slicing the Pacman Ghost That the Authors Forgot the Name of, destroying it. (He didn't have to kill it's eyes 'cause it's a special one) Sephiroth placed a hand to his heart.
"Oh, man, I do rock."
Cloud appeared out of nowhere and began to cry.
"Stop trying to make a move on my girl!" he wailed. Maia ran to Cloud and hugged him around the shoulders.
"Aww... Poor Cloudy! Were you trying to save me? Thank you!"
Cloud blushed and patted her awkwardly on the head. "Save you? Of-of course that's what I was doing! I wasn't stalking you! I was coming to your rescue, my damsel in distress!"
Maia sweatdropped. "Whatever. Okay, let's find the last Cookie Captain."
They began to walk through the maze, becoming seriously lost. Maia glared at the dot, considering impaling it on her sword.
"This is all your fault," she hissed at the dot. "Don't you talk back to me! I- Ooh... Low, dot-boy. Seriously low."
"Why are you talking to the dot?" Sephiroth asked. Maia glared at him.
"Because it's talking to me!" she replied. She shoved the dot at Sephiroth, who heard it talking in a high voice.
"Hey! What the? I don't wanna go back there! No! Don't make me go back to that hell hole! You'll never get me alive!"
Sephiroth arched an eyebrow at it and handed it quickly back to Maia. She declined it and handed it to Dagger, who passed it to Zidane, who simply shoved it down his pants. All they could hear were muffled little cries. They ignored it.
As they walked, Cloud, Kuja and Sephiroth were talking to each other about their hair.
"Like, I get my hair done at this place called, like, Spikes 'R Us," Cloud told them, talking rather quickly, almost girlie, with a lot of "likes" in his sentences. Kuja and Sephiroth laughed.
"Gosh golly gee! I've, like, heard of that place!" Kuja remarked. "But I get my hair done at, like, Silver Hairstylists and, like-"
"Like, oh my God! So do I!" Sephiroth cried.
Maia turned to Zidane and whispered, "Do guys talk about their hair like this?"
Zidane shrugged. "I'm not sure anymore."
Dagger pointed ahead of them. "Hey, look, it's the Cookie Captain!"
They all ran to the Cookie Captain (who we made appear very quickly. We want this part over! The Pacman part takes up at least five pages! Ooh, five pages...^_^). Maia shoved her hand down Zidane's pants and grabbed the dot, pulling it out. She handed it to the Cookie Captain, who took it. As he did, the maze turned red.
"Hur-rah," all the heroes remarked monotonously, glad that their task was done.
"Let's leave! Please!" Zidane cried.

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Maia: Ah... Out of pure boredom, I decided to put this up... see ya in the next chapter...