Britz-Well I'm back, bet you're so anxious to find how my evil little twist turns out that you've skipped my author notes entirely right? By the way, aanything in (-)'s are my own comments, I guess you would've worked that out by now, just thought I'd mention it since I do it so many times.
~Planet Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Skater Bomb~
Chapter Fourteen
*In the bomb room Britney finishes hog tying Marco, she still holds the handgun aimed at his head.*
Marco-But Britney why? Why do it?
Britney-*coldly* She's got to be stopped Marco, if I have to sacrifice my rebellion, and myself then so be it.
Marco-What about all the innocent people of New York?
Britney-*shrugs shoulders* Meh.
Marco-Damn you Britney! you're no pop star, you're... You're a.... All right I really didn't think that taunt through.
*Menderash's voice comes over the radio*
Menderash-Ms Spears, we're coming up on the Statue of Liberty, prepare to drop the bomb.
Britney-*grabs her walkie-talkie* Ten-four.
Marco-Do you really have to tie me up? I mean I'm an Animorphs, I could morph right out of these ropes and get you if I wanted.
Britney-Try it, then you can try morphing a bullet out of your brain.
Marco-Point taken, but come on, you can't shoot me, I'm a straight male fan of yours, it'd be like shotting an endangered species.
Britney-Try anything and you'll be extinct. *opens the cargo doors, the ship is quickly approaching the statue.*
Menderash-*over radio* we'll fly circles around the statue to give you a perfect opportunity to drop, make it fast we're under fire.
*The ship dodges missiles and begins a circle around the statue*
Britney-Sorry Marco but a teenybopper's gotta do what a teenybopper's gotta do. *presses the clamp release button*
Marco-That being said *he jumps as best he can while hog-tied and slams his weight into the clamp, jamming it*
Britney-You bastard! *grabs for her gun but drops it, sending it out the cargo doors and spiralling to the ground below.*
Marco-*begins morphing to gorilla, the rope breaks* [Now, you're in trouble babe.]
Britney-*smacks her fists into his face*
Marco-[Oh, hit me baby, one more time.]
Britney-*summoning all her teenybopper strength she lets a huge right hook fly into his face*
Marco-*dazed* [Good shot madam.] *collapses*
Britney-*begins kicking and pushing at the bomb, trying to loosen it and send it down.*
*meanwhile in the cockpit*
Menderash-*piloting the ship under heavy fire* Damnit, what are they doing? I can't avoid these missiles much longer!
Jeanne-Somebody go check what's taking them so long.
Santorelli-I'll do it. *starts to get up*
Jake-No Santorelli *holds up his hand* I'll do it. *dramatic pause*
Tobias-[What are you doing, it's not like your doing something heroic here.]
*crestfallen, Jake walks from the room and down the hallway to the bomb room, opens the door*
Jake-*looks at the groaning Marco in gorilla morph on the floor to Britney, kicking and cursing at the nuke.* hmm, need any help?
Britney-*grabs Jake and slams him to the floor, kicks him in the head*
Jake-Oww! I must say I'm a little confused.
*Britney jumps on the bomb and uses her weight to push it out, both her and it plummet from the cargo bay door, she waves a cowboy hat around as she drop towards the statue.* (a la Docter Strangelove of course, actually this scene is the reason I came up with the name.)
Marco-[Oh no! She's killed us all!]
Jake-Yeah, and where did she get that hat?
Chapter Fifth teen
Britney dropped from the sky yelling and whooping like a 'blonde' bimbo angel of death, the nuke sped downwards, to bring death to everyone in New York, starting with the infamous teenybopper Ms Spears and the evil bitch Queen Lavigne.
The bomb plummeted, faster and faster till it hit at the feet of the Statue of Liberty, Britney blocked ears that wouldn't be there in another second.
She heard nothing, she knew nothing, a second passed, two, three, seconds passed in a flock and she peeked open her eyes, she was sitting on the bomb in a fair sized crater under the gaze of the statue.
"Something, not good, about this..." She muttered and sat on the bomb for moments more, it finally dawned "Shit! After all of it! The fucking nuke's a dud!!!" laser bolts from guitar blasters began to blaze around her.
Back up in the ship Marco and Jake stared down in disbelief.
"Shit!" Marco yelled happily "After all of it! The fucking nukes a dud!!!" In a moment of misplaced joy he grabbed Jake and laid a kiss on his cheek.
Jake was stunned, "Well hello there!" He looked at Marco with a cheesy grin. "How you doin'?"
"Oh Jake man, come on, I was just, that was... Stop looking at me like that!! Come on, we've got to land, bomb or no bomb, this is our best chance to take the fortress."
Jake grinned "Your wish, is my command, aha aha." He said flirtatiously.
Marco got up and walked from the room. "Oyy, damn my sexy ass!" He looked over his shoulder at aforementioned rump, "Aww, who am I kidding, I love you buddy."
He made his way to the control room and gave the crew the cliff notes on the situation, "Land now!" He yelled "We might still be able to take down Avril Lavigne!"
Chapter Sixteen
The ship landed and Animorphs and rebels alike poured from it and began the process of storming the Statue of Liberty.
The Skater Boy Elite blasted at them from all sides and they shot back, their rebel training surprisingly good, losses were heavy however, except the Animorphs pulled through, they'd been on damn tougher missions, none stranger, but tougher.
Finally, through the bone-shaking explosions and burning ozone they made it too the feet of the Statue, and Ms Spears.
The pop-singing temptress was beating away three of the skater Elite, she grabbed ones guitar blaster and in the style of her arch nemesis Avril Lavigne swung it around and cracked it around the unfortunate skaters head as if he were an inanimate stereo system.
She grabbed another by his long greasy hair and swung him around, when she let go he flew over the Animorph's heads and came to a crashing halt several metres away.
The final skater was huge and ripped, he made the other two she'd just snapped look like a couple of Spongebob Squarepants, he grinned and went for her, she kicked for his goody bag, he crumpled.
[Britney!] Tobias yelled [We know your insane and genocidal, but were willing to overlook that for a bit, until we get Queen Lavigne and destroy her evil empire, and possibly till after the kegger we'll have to celebrate if we win, but then, we'll have to, I dunno, report you or something, agreed?] Britney nodded.
"I wouldn't start ordering the kegs for that party just yet if I were you." Said a sinister.
"Oh? Well alright." Jake said and put away his mobile phone.
Avril Lavigne stepped from the shadows, "Well if it isn't my arch-nemesis, the Animorphs."
"Hey!" Britney protested, "I thought I was your arch-nemesis!"
Avril turned to her "Hey come on, I never said anything about us being exclusive."
Britney pouted "But still, I've been fighting you for years, and these guys are here for what, two days? And they're your new arch nemesis'?"
Avril turned back to the Animorphs "She's right, and I don't think I'm ready for another arch-nemesis right now."
"And I did just try to drop a nuclear bomb on you." Britney told her.
"You did?" Avril asked "Aww, that's sweet."
[Enough with the feelings already.] Jeanne protested, [Let's get to the fighting.]
"Kay." A squad of the Skater Elite poured from the doors to back her up, "Let's get it on."
The Animorphs took the Skater Elite, trading blow for blow but the true fight was between Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne.
Santorelli looked over at them [Wait! Avril, she doesn't fight like any skater-chick I've ever seen, she's doing it teenybopper style!] He yelled to the others.
Animorphs and Skater Elite alike stopped and stared in confusion, both Britney and Avril pulled at each others hair, slapped, scratched and wrestled, Lavigne didn't punch, she didn't produce a switchblade like was expected of a skater.
Queen Lavigne noticed the extra attention and stopped "Oh no, time for this bird to fly!" She grabbed her skateboard from her back holster, "here goes nothing" she muttered.
She pushed off, and started to roll, at walking speed, she tried to push harder, tripped up and landed at the feet of the Animorphs, "She can't skate!" Declared one of the skaters in amazement.
"Alright! Alright!" Avril screamed "So you've discovered my terrible, horrible, bone-chilling secret! I'm no skater-chick!! I'm a.. I'm a... A TEENYBOPPER!!!"
The Animorphs and Skaters withdrew from her, gasping in shock.
Avril smiled again and shook her finger at them all "But, I'm going to take this secret to my grave. And so are you all, wether you want to not."
"Oh no I'm not" Jake protested.
"Yes you are ya friggin' moron, what I meant was that you're all about to die, the statue's rigged with explosives." She pulled a remote out and pushed a button on it before anyone could stop her.
They all took a moment to process this, Marco got it all first "Run away! Run away!" He cried. (obviously homage by the way, as if I'd be able to sneak that joke past any of you Monty Python fans.)
The Animorphs and Skaters ran for it with the devilish laughter of Avril Lavigne, only Britney stayed behind.
She knelt by Avril and raised her fist. "No, you won't rob me of this bitch!"
"See you in teenybopper hell." Avril replied before the detonation that shattered the Statue above them.
Chapter Seventeen
*On the island where the Statue of Liberty once stood (like I know what it's called) the statue is now half destroyed, the top half still sticking out of the rumble, the smoke is slowly clearing*
Jake-*sees the statue-half sticking like that, falls to his knees and pounds the ground with his fist* You maniacs!! Damn youse!! Damn youse all to Hell!!!
Jeanne-Oh shut up.
Santorelli-*dusting himself off* We only just got out of range in time; Avril and Britney must have been killed.
Medic Rebel-*walks up* You'd be surprised what a teenybopper can live through, not unlike cockroaches, (guess why I used that example) some can survive a nuclear explosion. I'll just let myself out now *walks away.*
Tobias-[Is he for real? Could Britney and Avril really have survived that blast?]
*As if to heed his words, and move this fic along he spots movement from beneath a pile of rubble, he calls to the others, they dig away only to reveal Avril and Britney, still alive*
Cassie-Oh for Christ's sake, will we never be rid of this damn senseless storyline!! *grabs a gun and aims for Avril's head* I'm stopping this right now!
*suddenly the cops turn up at the site and jump out of their boats, stopping Cassie's attempts to off Avril.*
Cop#1-My skater-Queen! What happened here, you want for us to kill these people for you?
Jeanne-Wait! You don't have to obey her, she's no skater-queen! She's a teenybopper, no better than any Britney Spears fan!
Marco-*looks around, hurt and suspicious*
Cop#2-Is this true? My liege?
All-*wait with bated breath*
Avril-Yes, all right it's true, I am a teenybopper who's just living a lie!! These skater clothes? an image! All a false image!! *rips away skater clothes and stands in her bra and panties*
Cop#1-*nudges Cop#2* Bet those 'COPS' guys are gonna be pissed they decided not to come today, first the statue now this.
Avril-Well I've got to stop the charade! Got to stop running! *presents wrists to cops* Take me away copper, one charge of being a teenybopper, and, uhh, all that other stuff I did.
All-*applaud, several calls of 'take it off!'*
Britney-Hey, also, I tried to commit genocide.
Avril-hey bitch! What are you doing? Trying to steal my thunder?!
Britney-Hey I'll confess to attempted genocide whenever I want!!
Avril-I'll kill you!!
*Both attack each other, cops drag them apart*
Cop#3-Ladies, ladies, save it for the prison showers.
*little later, Avril and Britney are being arrested and put into the boats.*
Marco-*to Britney* Well Britney, I don't know what to say, as a long term and fan, and yes, as a human being, you hurt me, what with the hog tying and the gun and the planning of the murder of thousands of innocent people, how could you? How could someone, who sings, as sweetly as an angel, be such a devil inside?
Britney-*frustrated* Marco I told you this six minutes ago but you don't seem to get it, shut, the fuck, up.
Marco-Oh why? Why lord are the beautiful ones always so crazy?
Britney-*pecks him on the lips* Sorry about the trying to kill us all part, you're a good guy Marco, will you wait for this crazy genocidal teenybopper?
Marco-*hand goes to lips, dramatic music plays* No, but I'll look at porn pictures of you everyday on the internet.
Britney-. . . .*shrugs shoulders* Meh, close enough. *The police boat drives away.*
Marco-No Wait! Bring her back! She'll be good!! Aww let her go!!. . .Damn.
*With Jake and Cassie*
Jake-Cassie, I know I can't offer you much, but, I love you Cassie, marry me.
Cassie-Hell no.
Jake-Damn, how about just a sympathy screw?
Cassie-I spose I could take some pictures and use it as filler material, sure, why not.
Jake-As long as there's no llamas involved, I saw them in those magazines, makes a man feel quite, inadequate.
Chapter Nineteen: And Here's The Wrap Up
Jake and Cassie did try to work things out despite the fact that he was the least fulfilling filler material in history, however after three days Cassie started an "office romance" with a llama hung like a pony and a gerbil hung like a horse (his meat and two veg were bigger than him, really quite extraordinary) When Jake found out he was crushed, he packed up his stuff and left in the middle of the night, never to return. Cassie still hasn't noticed he's gone.
Britney and Avril did save the aggression for the prison showers, where they took it out in new and interesting ways; they soon became the star attraction of the gay-porn reality prison show called "Booty in the Big House". Avril quickly became known for the catchphrase "Watch where you stick that soap!" (Hey, a man can dream can't he?. . . Well my shrink says I'm getting better. REDRUM. REDRUM.)
Santorelli left the elite antiterror forces and opened a top-secret cooking school upstate, he is also rumoured to be the genius millionaire behind the 'Potatoes Stuffed While You Wait' fine cuisine food chain with the motto 'Stuffed Potatoes So Good, They're Out Of This World!'
Tobias resigned himself to never getting over Rachel, but he became the kinky host of the bird-watching program 'Wings' (not to be confused with the sitcom of the same name) and found true love with a super-intelligent peacock named Francine, now it's 'Rachel who?'
Menderash, confused by his attraction to humans because of his body, his lust for Andalites because of his mind and his wanton feelings for Hork-Bajir which both species found weird, ended up as a star on his own porn series which only the most brave and kinky late-night FOX viewers dared to watch.
Marco and Jeanne dated briefly until Jeanne broke it off and eloped with a porn star named Sancho *guitar strums*. Marco went back to the glamorous life of a millionaire playboy, but behind all the bucks and babes he eagerly awaits Britney Spears next parole hearing, he never misses an episode of "Booty in the Big House".
~The Teeny Bopping, Llama Loving, Ever Merciful End~
Britz-HaHa! I'm invincible, invincible!! Show me another challenge stranger than this that's been written, come on, I dare you! I see now that I am king! Bow down to me! Bow down to me!!! . . . . . Well I'm spent, hows about a review for this rather... Unusual challenge fic, please? Me love you long time if you review.
~Planet Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Skater Bomb~
Chapter Fourteen
*In the bomb room Britney finishes hog tying Marco, she still holds the handgun aimed at his head.*
Marco-But Britney why? Why do it?
Britney-*coldly* She's got to be stopped Marco, if I have to sacrifice my rebellion, and myself then so be it.
Marco-What about all the innocent people of New York?
Britney-*shrugs shoulders* Meh.
Marco-Damn you Britney! you're no pop star, you're... You're a.... All right I really didn't think that taunt through.
*Menderash's voice comes over the radio*
Menderash-Ms Spears, we're coming up on the Statue of Liberty, prepare to drop the bomb.
Britney-*grabs her walkie-talkie* Ten-four.
Marco-Do you really have to tie me up? I mean I'm an Animorphs, I could morph right out of these ropes and get you if I wanted.
Britney-Try it, then you can try morphing a bullet out of your brain.
Marco-Point taken, but come on, you can't shoot me, I'm a straight male fan of yours, it'd be like shotting an endangered species.
Britney-Try anything and you'll be extinct. *opens the cargo doors, the ship is quickly approaching the statue.*
Menderash-*over radio* we'll fly circles around the statue to give you a perfect opportunity to drop, make it fast we're under fire.
*The ship dodges missiles and begins a circle around the statue*
Britney-Sorry Marco but a teenybopper's gotta do what a teenybopper's gotta do. *presses the clamp release button*
Marco-That being said *he jumps as best he can while hog-tied and slams his weight into the clamp, jamming it*
Britney-You bastard! *grabs for her gun but drops it, sending it out the cargo doors and spiralling to the ground below.*
Marco-*begins morphing to gorilla, the rope breaks* [Now, you're in trouble babe.]
Britney-*smacks her fists into his face*
Marco-[Oh, hit me baby, one more time.]
Britney-*summoning all her teenybopper strength she lets a huge right hook fly into his face*
Marco-*dazed* [Good shot madam.] *collapses*
Britney-*begins kicking and pushing at the bomb, trying to loosen it and send it down.*
*meanwhile in the cockpit*
Menderash-*piloting the ship under heavy fire* Damnit, what are they doing? I can't avoid these missiles much longer!
Jeanne-Somebody go check what's taking them so long.
Santorelli-I'll do it. *starts to get up*
Jake-No Santorelli *holds up his hand* I'll do it. *dramatic pause*
Tobias-[What are you doing, it's not like your doing something heroic here.]
*crestfallen, Jake walks from the room and down the hallway to the bomb room, opens the door*
Jake-*looks at the groaning Marco in gorilla morph on the floor to Britney, kicking and cursing at the nuke.* hmm, need any help?
Britney-*grabs Jake and slams him to the floor, kicks him in the head*
Jake-Oww! I must say I'm a little confused.
*Britney jumps on the bomb and uses her weight to push it out, both her and it plummet from the cargo bay door, she waves a cowboy hat around as she drop towards the statue.* (a la Docter Strangelove of course, actually this scene is the reason I came up with the name.)
Marco-[Oh no! She's killed us all!]
Jake-Yeah, and where did she get that hat?
Chapter Fifth teen
Britney dropped from the sky yelling and whooping like a 'blonde' bimbo angel of death, the nuke sped downwards, to bring death to everyone in New York, starting with the infamous teenybopper Ms Spears and the evil bitch Queen Lavigne.
The bomb plummeted, faster and faster till it hit at the feet of the Statue of Liberty, Britney blocked ears that wouldn't be there in another second.
She heard nothing, she knew nothing, a second passed, two, three, seconds passed in a flock and she peeked open her eyes, she was sitting on the bomb in a fair sized crater under the gaze of the statue.
"Something, not good, about this..." She muttered and sat on the bomb for moments more, it finally dawned "Shit! After all of it! The fucking nuke's a dud!!!" laser bolts from guitar blasters began to blaze around her.
Back up in the ship Marco and Jake stared down in disbelief.
"Shit!" Marco yelled happily "After all of it! The fucking nukes a dud!!!" In a moment of misplaced joy he grabbed Jake and laid a kiss on his cheek.
Jake was stunned, "Well hello there!" He looked at Marco with a cheesy grin. "How you doin'?"
"Oh Jake man, come on, I was just, that was... Stop looking at me like that!! Come on, we've got to land, bomb or no bomb, this is our best chance to take the fortress."
Jake grinned "Your wish, is my command, aha aha." He said flirtatiously.
Marco got up and walked from the room. "Oyy, damn my sexy ass!" He looked over his shoulder at aforementioned rump, "Aww, who am I kidding, I love you buddy."
He made his way to the control room and gave the crew the cliff notes on the situation, "Land now!" He yelled "We might still be able to take down Avril Lavigne!"
Chapter Sixteen
The ship landed and Animorphs and rebels alike poured from it and began the process of storming the Statue of Liberty.
The Skater Boy Elite blasted at them from all sides and they shot back, their rebel training surprisingly good, losses were heavy however, except the Animorphs pulled through, they'd been on damn tougher missions, none stranger, but tougher.
Finally, through the bone-shaking explosions and burning ozone they made it too the feet of the Statue, and Ms Spears.
The pop-singing temptress was beating away three of the skater Elite, she grabbed ones guitar blaster and in the style of her arch nemesis Avril Lavigne swung it around and cracked it around the unfortunate skaters head as if he were an inanimate stereo system.
She grabbed another by his long greasy hair and swung him around, when she let go he flew over the Animorph's heads and came to a crashing halt several metres away.
The final skater was huge and ripped, he made the other two she'd just snapped look like a couple of Spongebob Squarepants, he grinned and went for her, she kicked for his goody bag, he crumpled.
[Britney!] Tobias yelled [We know your insane and genocidal, but were willing to overlook that for a bit, until we get Queen Lavigne and destroy her evil empire, and possibly till after the kegger we'll have to celebrate if we win, but then, we'll have to, I dunno, report you or something, agreed?] Britney nodded.
"I wouldn't start ordering the kegs for that party just yet if I were you." Said a sinister.
"Oh? Well alright." Jake said and put away his mobile phone.
Avril Lavigne stepped from the shadows, "Well if it isn't my arch-nemesis, the Animorphs."
"Hey!" Britney protested, "I thought I was your arch-nemesis!"
Avril turned to her "Hey come on, I never said anything about us being exclusive."
Britney pouted "But still, I've been fighting you for years, and these guys are here for what, two days? And they're your new arch nemesis'?"
Avril turned back to the Animorphs "She's right, and I don't think I'm ready for another arch-nemesis right now."
"And I did just try to drop a nuclear bomb on you." Britney told her.
"You did?" Avril asked "Aww, that's sweet."
[Enough with the feelings already.] Jeanne protested, [Let's get to the fighting.]
"Kay." A squad of the Skater Elite poured from the doors to back her up, "Let's get it on."
The Animorphs took the Skater Elite, trading blow for blow but the true fight was between Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne.
Santorelli looked over at them [Wait! Avril, she doesn't fight like any skater-chick I've ever seen, she's doing it teenybopper style!] He yelled to the others.
Animorphs and Skater Elite alike stopped and stared in confusion, both Britney and Avril pulled at each others hair, slapped, scratched and wrestled, Lavigne didn't punch, she didn't produce a switchblade like was expected of a skater.
Queen Lavigne noticed the extra attention and stopped "Oh no, time for this bird to fly!" She grabbed her skateboard from her back holster, "here goes nothing" she muttered.
She pushed off, and started to roll, at walking speed, she tried to push harder, tripped up and landed at the feet of the Animorphs, "She can't skate!" Declared one of the skaters in amazement.
"Alright! Alright!" Avril screamed "So you've discovered my terrible, horrible, bone-chilling secret! I'm no skater-chick!! I'm a.. I'm a... A TEENYBOPPER!!!"
The Animorphs and Skaters withdrew from her, gasping in shock.
Avril smiled again and shook her finger at them all "But, I'm going to take this secret to my grave. And so are you all, wether you want to not."
"Oh no I'm not" Jake protested.
"Yes you are ya friggin' moron, what I meant was that you're all about to die, the statue's rigged with explosives." She pulled a remote out and pushed a button on it before anyone could stop her.
They all took a moment to process this, Marco got it all first "Run away! Run away!" He cried. (obviously homage by the way, as if I'd be able to sneak that joke past any of you Monty Python fans.)
The Animorphs and Skaters ran for it with the devilish laughter of Avril Lavigne, only Britney stayed behind.
She knelt by Avril and raised her fist. "No, you won't rob me of this bitch!"
"See you in teenybopper hell." Avril replied before the detonation that shattered the Statue above them.
Chapter Seventeen
*On the island where the Statue of Liberty once stood (like I know what it's called) the statue is now half destroyed, the top half still sticking out of the rumble, the smoke is slowly clearing*
Jake-*sees the statue-half sticking like that, falls to his knees and pounds the ground with his fist* You maniacs!! Damn youse!! Damn youse all to Hell!!!
Jeanne-Oh shut up.
Santorelli-*dusting himself off* We only just got out of range in time; Avril and Britney must have been killed.
Medic Rebel-*walks up* You'd be surprised what a teenybopper can live through, not unlike cockroaches, (guess why I used that example) some can survive a nuclear explosion. I'll just let myself out now *walks away.*
Tobias-[Is he for real? Could Britney and Avril really have survived that blast?]
*As if to heed his words, and move this fic along he spots movement from beneath a pile of rubble, he calls to the others, they dig away only to reveal Avril and Britney, still alive*
Cassie-Oh for Christ's sake, will we never be rid of this damn senseless storyline!! *grabs a gun and aims for Avril's head* I'm stopping this right now!
*suddenly the cops turn up at the site and jump out of their boats, stopping Cassie's attempts to off Avril.*
Cop#1-My skater-Queen! What happened here, you want for us to kill these people for you?
Jeanne-Wait! You don't have to obey her, she's no skater-queen! She's a teenybopper, no better than any Britney Spears fan!
Marco-*looks around, hurt and suspicious*
Cop#2-Is this true? My liege?
All-*wait with bated breath*
Avril-Yes, all right it's true, I am a teenybopper who's just living a lie!! These skater clothes? an image! All a false image!! *rips away skater clothes and stands in her bra and panties*
Cop#1-*nudges Cop#2* Bet those 'COPS' guys are gonna be pissed they decided not to come today, first the statue now this.
Avril-Well I've got to stop the charade! Got to stop running! *presents wrists to cops* Take me away copper, one charge of being a teenybopper, and, uhh, all that other stuff I did.
All-*applaud, several calls of 'take it off!'*
Britney-Hey, also, I tried to commit genocide.
Avril-hey bitch! What are you doing? Trying to steal my thunder?!
Britney-Hey I'll confess to attempted genocide whenever I want!!
Avril-I'll kill you!!
*Both attack each other, cops drag them apart*
Cop#3-Ladies, ladies, save it for the prison showers.
*little later, Avril and Britney are being arrested and put into the boats.*
Marco-*to Britney* Well Britney, I don't know what to say, as a long term and fan, and yes, as a human being, you hurt me, what with the hog tying and the gun and the planning of the murder of thousands of innocent people, how could you? How could someone, who sings, as sweetly as an angel, be such a devil inside?
Britney-*frustrated* Marco I told you this six minutes ago but you don't seem to get it, shut, the fuck, up.
Marco-Oh why? Why lord are the beautiful ones always so crazy?
Britney-*pecks him on the lips* Sorry about the trying to kill us all part, you're a good guy Marco, will you wait for this crazy genocidal teenybopper?
Marco-*hand goes to lips, dramatic music plays* No, but I'll look at porn pictures of you everyday on the internet.
Britney-. . . .*shrugs shoulders* Meh, close enough. *The police boat drives away.*
Marco-No Wait! Bring her back! She'll be good!! Aww let her go!!. . .Damn.
*With Jake and Cassie*
Jake-Cassie, I know I can't offer you much, but, I love you Cassie, marry me.
Cassie-Hell no.
Jake-Damn, how about just a sympathy screw?
Cassie-I spose I could take some pictures and use it as filler material, sure, why not.
Jake-As long as there's no llamas involved, I saw them in those magazines, makes a man feel quite, inadequate.
Chapter Nineteen: And Here's The Wrap Up
Jake and Cassie did try to work things out despite the fact that he was the least fulfilling filler material in history, however after three days Cassie started an "office romance" with a llama hung like a pony and a gerbil hung like a horse (his meat and two veg were bigger than him, really quite extraordinary) When Jake found out he was crushed, he packed up his stuff and left in the middle of the night, never to return. Cassie still hasn't noticed he's gone.
Britney and Avril did save the aggression for the prison showers, where they took it out in new and interesting ways; they soon became the star attraction of the gay-porn reality prison show called "Booty in the Big House". Avril quickly became known for the catchphrase "Watch where you stick that soap!" (Hey, a man can dream can't he?. . . Well my shrink says I'm getting better. REDRUM. REDRUM.)
Santorelli left the elite antiterror forces and opened a top-secret cooking school upstate, he is also rumoured to be the genius millionaire behind the 'Potatoes Stuffed While You Wait' fine cuisine food chain with the motto 'Stuffed Potatoes So Good, They're Out Of This World!'
Tobias resigned himself to never getting over Rachel, but he became the kinky host of the bird-watching program 'Wings' (not to be confused with the sitcom of the same name) and found true love with a super-intelligent peacock named Francine, now it's 'Rachel who?'
Menderash, confused by his attraction to humans because of his body, his lust for Andalites because of his mind and his wanton feelings for Hork-Bajir which both species found weird, ended up as a star on his own porn series which only the most brave and kinky late-night FOX viewers dared to watch.
Marco and Jeanne dated briefly until Jeanne broke it off and eloped with a porn star named Sancho *guitar strums*. Marco went back to the glamorous life of a millionaire playboy, but behind all the bucks and babes he eagerly awaits Britney Spears next parole hearing, he never misses an episode of "Booty in the Big House".
~The Teeny Bopping, Llama Loving, Ever Merciful End~
Britz-HaHa! I'm invincible, invincible!! Show me another challenge stranger than this that's been written, come on, I dare you! I see now that I am king! Bow down to me! Bow down to me!!! . . . . . Well I'm spent, hows about a review for this rather... Unusual challenge fic, please? Me love you long time if you review.