------------------------
Sephiroth, Lee and Zidane appeared in a little waiting room. It
was a white, boring room with nothing in it. Sephiroth sat down cross-legged
and waited for Lee to wake up, watching Zidane laugh on the ground, holding
his stomach and rolling over and over. Sephiroth got bored of this after
a while, no matter how hilarious this was. So he found a piece of paper
and a pencil and drew. He drew little stick people holding swords. Arching
an eyebrow, he ripped the paper in half and drew a stick person with a
sword on each piece. Then he banged them together.
"Have at thee!" he cried in a high voice.
"Taste my papery steel!" he shouted in a lower voice.
"Nay! Thou shalt taste MY papery steel!" he yelled in the first
voice.
He continued with this for a few hours.
-------------------------
The screen began to bleed and then everything went black for a
second, before they appeared in a really funky battle arena. The sky was
pink and lots of other colors swirled around in it. Some funny music started
to play.
"What the hell is that?" Maia asked.
"Estuans interius
Ira vehementi.
Estuans interius
Ira vehementi.
Dr. Safer-666!
Dr. Safer-666!"
Cloud smiled. "It's called One Winged Angel. I wonder why it's
playi–Aaw, hell...." Cloud stared as a Safer-Sephiroth version of Dr. 666
descended into the arena. In place of legs, he had long, white tentacles
and instead of his left arm, there was a large morphine needle.
"Mwahahaha... I am Dr. Safer-666! Fear me!"
Everyone sweatdropped. Maia sighed. "Who in their right mind
would donate their tongue to singing your song?! Try it at home kids! It's
just not right!"
Everyone glared up at the speakers. Cloud shook his head and
powered up.
"Omnislash!!!" he shouted, jumping up and hitting Dr. Safer-666
twenty, count 'em, twenty times, causing around 4000 damage with each hit.
Dr. Safer-666 cried out and melted.
"NOOOO!!!!"
The screen swirled and they appeared in another place. Now, they
were in space. Lots of stars littered the black sky.
"What now?" Kuja asked. A second form of Dr. 666 appeared. This
time, he took on the shape of an Ultemecia-like creature. His legs were
gone and instead, there was a Scream guy in their place. (Scream as in
the famous painting) His face was gone and in it's place there was simply
a white void.
"I am True Dr. 666. All existence shall be denied."
"Dagger! I wanna try this new tech!" Maia cried. Dagger nodded
and they lunged forward, crossing paths, making an X.
"X-Strike!" they shouted. True Dr. 666 screamed and disappeared.
The scenery changed again to a crazy blue place. Lots of moans rang through
the air. Kuja shuddered.
"I think I know what's coming...."
Expecting the worst, say, Necron, they were a little surprised
when a normal Dr. 666 ran in, wearing a hockey mask.
"What's with that?" Cloud asked. "He's just normal."
"That's what you think!" Dr. 666 cried, He pulled the hockey
mask down over his face and took out an absurdly large chainsaw and instead
of the nooks of the chainsaw blade, there were morphine needles. It was
a morphine saw!
Dr. 666 revved it up and started forward. "Who wants a couple
hundred shots?!?!?!?" he screamed crazily. Everyone looked at each other,
then back at Dr. 666, then they screamed and turned to run. They found
they couldn't really run, they only dashed on the spot. A message box appeared
above their heads.
CANNOT RUN AWAY
They turned back around and Kuja took out his summon crystal and
summoned Bahamut.
"Bahamut! I call upon you to smite my enemies!" He and the others
disappeared. Dr. 666 began to laugh.
"Hahahaha!!! What good do you think your puny dragon can do to
me?!"
Bahamut flew down and blew a large hole in the ground, blowing
up Hockey Morphine-Saw Dr. 666 along with it.
They came out of the disappearance thing and watched as the scenery
changed once again around them. This time, they were in a black arena,
but in the background, little Dr. 666s ran around. Kuja cried out and dashed
to a corner, huddled his knees to him and rocked back and forth.
"Can't sleep, mage will morphine. Can't sleep, mage will morphine.
Can't sleep, mage will morphine," he chanted over and over, psychotically.
Dagger kneeled beside him.
"Are you okay?"
"NOOO!!" Kuja wailed.
--------------------------
Flashback to Kuja's childhood...
--------------------------
"Kuja!!! Time for a checkup!!!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Little child Kuja was puddling as quick as he could through
the streets, trying to escape Dr. 666, who was there for Kuja's yearly
medical checkup. Dr. 666 pinned Kuja on the ground, taking out a large
contraption with lots of little saws and things that could harm.
"Don't worry, you won't feel a thing!" he cried, pressing a button,
which made all the saws and things spin and chop violently. Kuja began
to scream. "'Til I jam this down your throat!"
Kuja screamed again.
-----------------------------
Even younger childhood of Kuja's.......
-----------------------------
Kuja stared at the bed his mom had made for him. His mom was good
at cooking, but obviously not at carpentry. The bed, made to look like
a cute little black mage with large Bambi eyes, looked mutated and evil.
Kuja shivered.
"Now, I know you like black mages, Kuja, so I made you this bed!"
his mom cried proudly, patting him on the head. "Enjoy!" She left the room.
Kuja watched the bed, his imagination running wild. The bed had
begun to talk to him.
"If you should die before you wake....!" It's eyes opened wide
and it laughed hysterically and evilly. "Huahahahahahahahaha....!"
-------------------------
Cut to the present...
-------------------------
"Can't sleep, mage will morphine. Can't sleep, mage will morphine.
Can't sleep, mage will morphine."
"Are you going to be of any use to us?!" Maia cried.
"I don't think so!" Kuja wailed and shivered, burying his head
on his knees. Maia sighed.
"I guess you won't." She turned around and faced Dr. 666, who
had walked in. He was a lot taller and looked more like a human.
"He looks like the last Sephiroth I faced..." Cloud muttered.
Dr. 666 did indeed look like a human man with his shirt off.
Maia sighed.
"I hate it when people try to show off..." Shaking her head,
she halted for a moment, then quickly moved into a fighter's stance, brandishing
her sword. "C'mon, guys! We have to do this together!"
"Omnislash!"
"Eidolon!"
"Shadow Dance!"
"Combine!" they yelled in unison. Dashing towards Dr. 666, they
each did their attacks, which combined and made one majorly cool attack.
It didn't finish him. Then, amazingly, they heard behind them,
"Summon! Bahamut!"
"Kuja!"
Kuja made a heroic figure, standing there, brandishing his summon
crystal. Bahamut flew down and took a deep breath, preparing to blow fire
at Dr. 666. Maia and the others realized that they weren't going to disappear
for some reason.
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Maia screamed. "Jump! Duck! Anything!!
Just get out of the way!!!!!" They all hurled themselves to one side as
a beam of fire and energy shot at Dr. 666, dissolving him. He screamed
out and began to melt away, piece... by... piece...
--------------------
"Have at thee!!"
"Taste my papery steel!"
Lee had awoken and she and Sephiroth were bashing the little
paper stick men with swords together, "fighting" with them. Zidane might
have been laughing at them, but it was unlikely. He still rolled on the
ground, giggling hysterically.
Sephiroth stopped for a moment.
"Is he going to be okay? I mean, at first I thought it was funny,
but, watching him laughing, still, after about four hours, it's really
creepy. It's like he isn't breathing. He just kind of... laughs..."
"Ah, he'll be fi–" She cut off as Kuja, Maia, Dagger and Cloud
appeared.
"We did it!" Dagger cried, running to Zidane, obviously to hug
him, but stopping when she realized that he was still on a high.
"Arg!" Maia cried, walking over and kicking Zidane. "Recover,
damn you!"
"He'll be better soon!" Lee told them. "Give him a couple more
minutes, I'd say, and he'll be fine! I didn't give him that big of a shot!"
Maia glared at her. "How would you know?! You suck at math!!!"
"Hey, don't rub it in my face! Besides... I know..."
"I never trust your judgment," Maia muttered.
They sat down and watched, silently, as Zidane kept laughing
and laughing. Lee finally sighed after about an hour. "Meh. I'll just balance
it out with a bottle of sleeping pills!" She reached into her pocket and
pulled out a little bottle and dumped the contents down Zidane's throat.
"There you go!"
Zidane fell asleep for a moment, then bounced awake, then fell
asleep again, then jumped awake once again. He kept doing this. Lee backed
away, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.
"I guess it didn't balance it out! It only made him worse!" she
cried ditzily as Zidane fell asleep again, then leaped up, ran into a wall
and fell back asleep.
"ARG!" Maia cried. Rubbing her temples for a moment, she then
took out her mallet, snarling. "Only simple way to settle this!" She wapped
him over the head a couple of times. He fell truly asleep. "That's better."
She sat down and pulled out her computer. "Time to leave here. Let's go
back to our castle."
Typing in some buttons, a large porthole appeared. They all jumped
in and Dagger reached back out and grabbed Zidane, dragging him through.
----------------------
And so most things came to a happy ending. Except...
Dr. 666, who, coincidentally, was still alive, sat in the Lifestream,
wailing.
"I need more morphine!!!!! More morphine!!! Maia cut off my supply!!
ARG!!!! I shall come back!!!!! Back, I say!!!!!!! Ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah–Ow,
I bit my tongue!"
The End
Maia: Thanks for reading, everyone! Go read the aftermath!