By the time that Chandler finished getting ready for the date, Joey was turning off the heat on the stove and giving the pasta a final stir. "Hey," he smiled at Chandler, and quickly put the lid back on. "Wait, can you sit down in the living room first? I'm gonna go change my clothes. Just don't touch the food, okay?"

"Okay." Chandler reluctantly sat down and waited. "Mmm, that food smells good!"

"Don't touch it!" Joey yelled from within his bedroom.

"I'm not touching it!" As he waited, Chandler glanced at the foosball table and saw that Joey hadn't just put the glass cover on top like usual; he had actually set the table this time, using a real tablecloth and candles. "Wow, it doesn't even look like a foosball table anymore!"

Joey soon emerged from his bedroom, looking hot as usual.

"Hey," Chandler smiled as he got up from the leather recliner. "Who would know you've been slaving over a hot stove?"

Joey came over and kissed him. "You look good. Come on, let's eat." They headed to the kitchen, and Chandler took a seat while Joey dished out the food onto their plates and said what kind of pasta it was. Something Italian. "Not too hard to cook, and it tastes great."

"Cool!" Chandler tasted the pasta and loved it. "Mmm! Maybe you should be a chef, Joe."

He laughed. "I'm not that good. My mom's is way better."

"Tastes fine to me." Chandler gulped down another mouthful.

Joey was pleased, but then he reached for a drink and realized that there wasn't one on the table. "Oh wait, I forgot!" He got up from the table and pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge.

"What, no beer?" Chandler smiled.

Joey quickly opened the bottle and poured the wine into a couple of coffee mugs.

Chandler found this unbelievably cute. "So what did you tell your mom when you borrowed all this nice stuff? Candles and tablecloth and everything. And wine," he took the mug that Joey handed him as he returned to the table.

Joey shrugged. "You know, I told her I had a date I wanted to impress."

"Yeah, but you never do stuff like this, Joe. You know, you might have given her the idea that this girl is kinda special, like you're gonna settle down and marry her or something."

Joey laughed. "Yeah, Ma really wanted to know your name, and she kept asking when she was gonna get to meet you. I almost said, 'You already met Chandler,' but I didn't want to give her a heart attack."

Chandler laughed. "And how would your dad take it?" Then he gulped and turned deathly pale as he realized. "Oh God, he would come over and kill me, wouldn't he?"

"Hey, no, no, no!" Joey squeezed Chandler's hand reassuringly. "He'd have to kill me first, and I'm his own flesh and blood. His only son."

"Yeah," Chandler calmed down and looked relieved. "Yeah, you'd save me." He sighed and went back to eating.

Joey pondered it some more. "I don't know how Pop would react, for sure. He's never been in this kind of situation before. I mean, I guess he'd be upset and shocked for a while. Maybe he'd think that my going into 'show business' made me less manly or something, or that I've just been living with you too long. But I'm sure we could talk some sense into him. Make him see, you know, how good you are to me." He met Chandler's eyes and smiled.

"And you're good to me." Chandler kissed him and fondly squeezed Joey's hand. Then he laughed again and shook his head. "Anyway, we won't be telling your parents, or mine, any time soon, you know?"

Joey nodded along. He knew all about Chandler's commitment phobia, and he was in no rush. "Hey, by the way, when are we gonna tell Monica, Rachel, and all of them?"

"Oh, I was just thinking about that today. Well, I know it can't be tonight, 'cause you promised me some sex, and there's no mood-breaker like having all your friends around gaping at you in shock," he chuckled. "So how about tomorrow? We could say, um, 'Hey, Mon, sorry we both missed dinner at your place last night, but we actually--we lied about why we didn't come.' Then after Monica throws a fit about us lying to her, we'd say, 'We lied because--because we have a secret, you know, thing to tell you guys.'"

"Cool!" Joey said. "Then what?"

"I don't know. Why don't you contribute something? Why am I doing all the talking?"

Joey shrugged. "I guess, um, we'd say that you and me, you know, we've always been close and now we're, um, closer. And then I'd, like, put my arm around you." He got up and moved to Chandler's side of the table, squeezing onto his chair and putting his arm around Chandler. "Like this, you know?"

Chandler smiled. "Ah, show, rather than tell. Good idea. But, you know, you always put your arm around me. You'd have to kiss me or something for them to get it."

"Or, you know," he looked at Chandler suggestively, "you could sit on my lap. Huh?"

Chandler glanced sharply at Joey, but then he thought, "Why not?" so he went ahead and sat on Joey's lap, feeling a little embarrassed. "Wow! This is like some twisted version of Santa's lap."

Joey happily hugged him close. "Remember? I played Santa at the mall a few Christmases ago. You should've come by then and told me all your Christmas wishes."

"What, in front of all the kiddies waiting in line? That's just too weird."

"Okay, then how about after the mall closed? I could sneak my costume home and we could play Santa right here, in private. It could've, you know, been fun."

Chandler shook his head. "As much as I like these what-if fantasies of yours, Joey, I'm not really turned on by the white beard and the red suit."

"Okay. Point is, we should've got together a long time ago." They kissed, then Joey saw that Chandler hadn't finished his plate of pasta yet. "Hey, I told you to eat up! Come on, I'll feed ya." He loaded up a fork in preparation.

"Hey, no!" Chandler refused. "I'm not a baby."

"Then how come you let me call you 'baby' last night?" Joey looked at him devilishly.

Chandler shook his head and laughed. "You should be glad that you're so darn irresistible."

"I am," he answered confidently.

Chandler ran his hands through Joey's hair and kissed his temple. "You're so cute."

Joey gestured to the remaining food again. "Come on, I gotta fatten you up."

"What, so you can eat me?" He blushed when he realized what he'd said.

"We'll see," Joey whispered.