Joey was feeding Chandler, who was actually getting into it and licking sauce off Joey's fingers, when suddenly someone tried to open their door.
"Shoot!" Monica said softly. "*Now* they lock their door?"
Joey prevented Chandler from speaking, then called out, "Monica? Is that you?"
"Oh, uh, uh..." Monica started laughing nervously, clearly caught off guard. "Hey, Joey, what are you doing?"
"I have a date, remember?"
"Oh, uh..." She kept laughing, out of control.
Then Rachel apparently came into the hallway. "Okay, Monica, what's so urgent that I have to come now?"
"Hey, Rach! I, um, I was going across the hall, but um, Joey locked the door here. Why'd you lock the door, Joey?"
"'Cause I have a date!" Joey repeated. "A little privacy, please?"
"No, wait, wait!" Monica was near to panicking. "Okay, listen, um, all of us just finished up with dinner over here and I was just wondering, you know, if you and your date wanna come have coffee with us and talk?"
"Oh yeah!" Rachel agreed. "Come on, Joey, I want to meet this mysterious no-name date of yours that's so hot you had to ditch us at the last minute."
"No!" Joey replied. "Sorry, um, my date's really shy and we--we can't come over right now. Maybe some other time."
"Please," Monica begged.
"Monica," Rachel interrupted. "Come on, he just said no. Maybe they're, ahem, busy."
"I know that!" Monica said. "I was counting on that!"
"What?" Rachel said.
Joey and Chandler looked at each other, puzzled.
"I mean, I mean..." Monica struggled for words.
Soon Richard also arrived in the hallway, attracted by the sound of his girlfriend's raised voice. "Honey, what's wrong? Don't tell me--you're mad that Joey cancelled so late?"
"No! I mean yes, but then no, because I realized the reason why he cancelled."
"He has a date?" Richard ventured.
"Yeah, no big deal," Rachel added.
"Arggh!" Monica spelled it out for them. "Don't you see? Chandler had to work late? Joey's not showing up for free food?" She banged on Joey's door and yelled accusingly, "I know you've got Chandler in there with you! Chandler's your date, and you're hiding from us!"
Joey gasped at how accurate Monica was. Chandler's eyes went wide.
"What?!" Rachel replied in disbelief.
Richard didn't sound convinced, either. "What makes you say that, honey?"
"Oh!" Rachel realized. "Oh, I think all that gossiping we were doing must have gone to your head, Monica."
"It did not go to my head! Why do you think I brought it up to begin with? It's just like what we were talking about. They're secretly having sex. I know it!"
"How?" Richard asked, trying to calm her down. "I mean, I know Chandler seems a little... iffy, let's say--"
"He doesn't just 'seem'! He is!" She pounded on Joey and Chandler's door again. "Come on! Open this door!"
Ross and Phoebe came out too, attracted by all the noise.
"What's going on?" Ross asked his sister.
"Joey is hiding Chandler in there, and they won't come out! They're lovers!"
"Wha-huh?" Ross responded incredulously.
"Wow! Is that true, Joey?" Phoebe asked, actually seeming to believe Monica.
"No, no!" Joey answered, but then Chandler stopped him from making another excuse. Chandler shook his head and kissed him.
"We were gonna tell them anyway," he whispered.
"Yeah," Joey nodded.
Chandler took a swig of wine, then got up from Joey's lap and went to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open for all to see.
Rachel and Ross both gasped. Richard stood there blinking, while Monica looked smug. Phoebe smiled and was not entirely surprised.
Chandler's shirt was half-unbuttoned and his hair was all messed up. The remnants of a romantic candlelit dinner were clearly visible, as was Joey, who was in a similar state of disarray. Joey came up behind Chandler and put his arms around him.
Chandler kissed him and nodded to Phoebe. "It's true."
"Aw, how sweet! Congratulations!" Phoebe came over and hugged them, but she hit Joey's arm. "That's for lying to us!"
"Sorry," Joey answered sheepishly.
"Wait, wait a minute! I don't--I don't understand. How--how--?" Ross stammered.
"Wow!" Rachel said and shook her head. "Discussing it hypothetically is one thing, but wow! I mean, wow!"
Monica happily followed Phoebe's example, though she didn't hit anybody. "Congratulations! You're so cute together."
Richard shrugged and shook their hands. "Well, um, good going, you two."
Ross still couldn't grasp the concept. "But--but--! I need a drink!" He threw up his hands and headed back into Monica's apartment, looking for something stronger than coffee. Rachel followed after him.
"Hey, um," Chandler said. "Do you guys mind moving this discussion out of the hallway?"
"Sure, sure. Come on, my place!" Monica led the way.
Joey and Chandler came along reluctantly, but they were both resigned to not having any privacy for a while now.
"Shoot!" Monica said softly. "*Now* they lock their door?"
Joey prevented Chandler from speaking, then called out, "Monica? Is that you?"
"Oh, uh, uh..." Monica started laughing nervously, clearly caught off guard. "Hey, Joey, what are you doing?"
"I have a date, remember?"
"Oh, uh..." She kept laughing, out of control.
Then Rachel apparently came into the hallway. "Okay, Monica, what's so urgent that I have to come now?"
"Hey, Rach! I, um, I was going across the hall, but um, Joey locked the door here. Why'd you lock the door, Joey?"
"'Cause I have a date!" Joey repeated. "A little privacy, please?"
"No, wait, wait!" Monica was near to panicking. "Okay, listen, um, all of us just finished up with dinner over here and I was just wondering, you know, if you and your date wanna come have coffee with us and talk?"
"Oh yeah!" Rachel agreed. "Come on, Joey, I want to meet this mysterious no-name date of yours that's so hot you had to ditch us at the last minute."
"No!" Joey replied. "Sorry, um, my date's really shy and we--we can't come over right now. Maybe some other time."
"Please," Monica begged.
"Monica," Rachel interrupted. "Come on, he just said no. Maybe they're, ahem, busy."
"I know that!" Monica said. "I was counting on that!"
"What?" Rachel said.
Joey and Chandler looked at each other, puzzled.
"I mean, I mean..." Monica struggled for words.
Soon Richard also arrived in the hallway, attracted by the sound of his girlfriend's raised voice. "Honey, what's wrong? Don't tell me--you're mad that Joey cancelled so late?"
"No! I mean yes, but then no, because I realized the reason why he cancelled."
"He has a date?" Richard ventured.
"Yeah, no big deal," Rachel added.
"Arggh!" Monica spelled it out for them. "Don't you see? Chandler had to work late? Joey's not showing up for free food?" She banged on Joey's door and yelled accusingly, "I know you've got Chandler in there with you! Chandler's your date, and you're hiding from us!"
Joey gasped at how accurate Monica was. Chandler's eyes went wide.
"What?!" Rachel replied in disbelief.
Richard didn't sound convinced, either. "What makes you say that, honey?"
"Oh!" Rachel realized. "Oh, I think all that gossiping we were doing must have gone to your head, Monica."
"It did not go to my head! Why do you think I brought it up to begin with? It's just like what we were talking about. They're secretly having sex. I know it!"
"How?" Richard asked, trying to calm her down. "I mean, I know Chandler seems a little... iffy, let's say--"
"He doesn't just 'seem'! He is!" She pounded on Joey and Chandler's door again. "Come on! Open this door!"
Ross and Phoebe came out too, attracted by all the noise.
"What's going on?" Ross asked his sister.
"Joey is hiding Chandler in there, and they won't come out! They're lovers!"
"Wha-huh?" Ross responded incredulously.
"Wow! Is that true, Joey?" Phoebe asked, actually seeming to believe Monica.
"No, no!" Joey answered, but then Chandler stopped him from making another excuse. Chandler shook his head and kissed him.
"We were gonna tell them anyway," he whispered.
"Yeah," Joey nodded.
Chandler took a swig of wine, then got up from Joey's lap and went to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open for all to see.
Rachel and Ross both gasped. Richard stood there blinking, while Monica looked smug. Phoebe smiled and was not entirely surprised.
Chandler's shirt was half-unbuttoned and his hair was all messed up. The remnants of a romantic candlelit dinner were clearly visible, as was Joey, who was in a similar state of disarray. Joey came up behind Chandler and put his arms around him.
Chandler kissed him and nodded to Phoebe. "It's true."
"Aw, how sweet! Congratulations!" Phoebe came over and hugged them, but she hit Joey's arm. "That's for lying to us!"
"Sorry," Joey answered sheepishly.
"Wait, wait a minute! I don't--I don't understand. How--how--?" Ross stammered.
"Wow!" Rachel said and shook her head. "Discussing it hypothetically is one thing, but wow! I mean, wow!"
Monica happily followed Phoebe's example, though she didn't hit anybody. "Congratulations! You're so cute together."
Richard shrugged and shook their hands. "Well, um, good going, you two."
Ross still couldn't grasp the concept. "But--but--! I need a drink!" He threw up his hands and headed back into Monica's apartment, looking for something stronger than coffee. Rachel followed after him.
"Hey, um," Chandler said. "Do you guys mind moving this discussion out of the hallway?"
"Sure, sure. Come on, my place!" Monica led the way.
Joey and Chandler came along reluctantly, but they were both resigned to not having any privacy for a while now.