Soz about all the metaphors and non sense-making!
I woke up and found myself standing in the infirmary. Janet was standing a few metres away, working feverishly on a patient. She looked upset. I reached out to comfort her, but something stopped me. I turned away and looked up at the observation window. I found myself staring into the eyes of the rest of my team. I waved to them. No response. Were they ignoring me?! Out of the blue, I realised how depressed they all seemed. Jonas looked downright miserable. Teal'c looked like he was about to cry. Oh god! I thought. That really shook me up. Teal'c, the guy who I'd never seen show a single sign of emotion. Not even when his wife died, was about to cry. My eyes darted, almost fearfully, to Colonel O'Neill. And my heart shattered into a million pieces.
I'd always loved his eyes. You could always tell what he was thinking, just by looking at his eyes. I looked into them and almost started crying. The absolute pain encaptured in those dark brown pools was heartbreaking. I called his name, pulled a face, everything, trying to cheer him up. He dropped his head into his hands. Oh shit. He was crying. My heart sank to the bottom of an ocean. I began to run out the door. I had to comfort him, say something, to ease his pain. Then, suddenly, it hit me: Who was important enough to have everyone this upset? Cassie, my brain replied instantly. Oh shit. No, no, please don't let it be Cassandra. Please God, don't let it be her! I rushed to the table, and almost cried with relief. It wasn't Cassie. Then I sunk to the floor. It was me. The person they were desperately trying to save was me.