Disclaimer: Alert! Alert! I own nothing and I have a list of more things I do not own. I do not own the songs used in this story, the title is taken from Carole King's album, also not mine. I do not own anything that has to do with HGTV and I have no rites to Shakespeare's Works.
That being said, I bet you're wondering about what the heck goes on in this chapter!

A/N: I may not own anything, but I love Carole King and HGTV and Will Shakespeare. Just wanted to put that out there. If you are unfamiliar with the songs I chose, check them out, they kick ass.
Enough of me. Til next Time. Oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I thank you so much for the ones I have received. It makes me happy beyond measure.



Chapter 9: Tapestry


"So, Willow got her promotion?" Buffy asked her sister.

"Yep, just got the confirmation yesterday or is it two days ago for you?"

"Dawn, it's only like a five hour difference."

Buffy was so happy Spike gave Dawn the number to their house. She missed her sister so much. So, when Buffy picked up the telephone late that morning and heard her beloved sister's voice, she squealed with excitement. Since she answered over an hour ago, Buffy and Dawn discussed everything under the sun, especially the wedding. Dawn was waiting for Buffy to mention her conversation with Spike, which she did after inquiring after her friends at home.

"So, what did Spike tell you?" Buffy finally asked.

"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, playing dumb.

"I know he must have told you something about us so tell me what he said and I'll fill in the blanks or correct his statements should the need arise."

"There's an 'us?'" Dawn's voice rose in hopefulness at that simple little word.

"I didn't mean it that way. I just meantnot that way," Buffy stammered. She hadn't meant it that way, but it sounded fine in her head, like second nature.

"He didn't say much, just that you talked and you were a huge hit at the wedding, which he is very happy about by the way."

"Yeah, it was nice. We waltzed." Buffy paused to reflect on that, the music, the way they moved together. It gave her a fuzzy feeling in the pit of
her stomach. "We talked. Both of uswe grew up a lot."

Dawn gulped. "Does that mean apart?"

"Not necessarily. Actually, we've been getting along well. The thing is I don't know if we are friends."

"Do you want to be friends with Spike?"

Buffy bypassed the question and continued in her own little daze. "Sometimes it's so easy to be around him and other times it's like eggshells and stone cutters."

"Stone cutters?" Dawn repeated, utterly baffled by the comparison.

But, Buffy didn't stop, she kept babbling, not fully realizing her thoughts were being heard. "But, either wayhe feels like home."

"Well, Buff-"

"I'd be fooling myself if I believed I only came to him just to talk, I know that."

"Does he?" Dawn's question halted Buffy's tongue. "Did you tell Spike why you went to Argentina? You didn't even tell me what was so urgent you had to leave ASAP."

"He was never going to come back, Dawn. He would have been content to stay here and write you every two weeks."

"So, you went to him because?"

"It's Slayer stuff, Dawnie, and I don't want to get into it over the phone."

Dawn huffed. The noise blasted through the receiver into Buffy's ear. "Do you know if-when you're coming home?" Not that I need you here, she thought. I'd rather you stayed there awhile longer.

"No. I need to be here for him and Giles."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I love Giles!"

"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed. "You are exasperating! Do you love Spike?"

"I never loved Spike, Dawn, you know that."

Dawn sighed. This was her sister's way of avoiding questions she didn't feel like answering.

Fine, if she wanted to be stubborn, Dawn would have to be annoying.

"Buffy, do you remember how you were that first year without Spike, when you were redecorating your bedroom?"

Buffy groaned. She knew what Dawn was getting at and she really hated her sister for bringing it up. It was a choice she made and she lived with it.


~*~*~


"Blue walls??!!"

Dawn walked into her sister's room onto the tarp that covered her floor. Most of the furniture was moved out or covered with old sheets. There were paint cans all over the place, stencils, paint brushes, rollers. It looked like something out of HGTV.

"Buffy? What did you do to your room?"

Her sister was using a roller coated in a deep blue paint on her wall. "What does it look like I'm doing, Dawn? I'm redecorating." Buffy returned to her task, humming to the music on the radio.

"You just suddenly decided to cover your bright walls with this depressing shade?" Dawn flopped onto the covered chair, looking first for any droplets.

"It's not depressing, Dawnie. It's therapeutic. It's called Egyptian Blue or something or other." Buffy placed the roller into the paint tin. Hopping over a few obstacles, she joined her sister with a piece of paper in her hands. "I'm going to stencil this in gold for a border. What do you think?"

Dawn glanced at the drawing and then at her sister. She really jumped off the deep end! "When did you get this brain child of a stupid idea?" she asked.

"If you don't like, you can just say so," Buffy huffed. She went back to her painting, turning up her stereo on the way.

"You want to know what I think Buffy?" She stalked over to the stereo and pressed 'PAUSE.'

"Hey!"

"I think you've been listening to this music for long enough." The teenager only received a glare from her sister.

"I happen to like that CD, Dawn."

"Ha! You've been listening to Mom's Carole King CD for over a week, Buffy. What? You want to make your room into your very own Tapestry?"

Buffy leaned over and pressed 'PLAY.'



And it's too late, baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide
And I just can't fake it




"It means nothing, Dawn. I'm just in the mood to appreciate Carole's contribution to music is all."

"Then why do you have this song on replay day and night?"

Buffy was getting pissed at these accusations. All she wanted was to fix her room. She was sick of looking at the blank walls. They were emotionless, mocking her with their lack of feeling while there she sat feeling every emotion possible with only a single thought in her head. Okay, so maybe Carole was influencing her color choices, with all the "wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold." But, that didn't mean she was psycho or anything. Music was supposed to inspired people to creativity. So, with the help of Carole King and her friends on HGTV, she had a project to sink her teeth into.

"That happens to be a very big hit song," Buffy defended. She began to softly sing, trying to ignore her annoying sister. "'It's too late, baby. It's too late-"

Dawn stopped the track and pushed the 'REVERSE' button. Buffy's face became blank when she heard the opening music. Damn her sister. She was in such a good mood before she came in.

"This was a big hit too, Buffy." Dawn leaned against the still white closet door and observed her sister. She didn't care if she got in trouble for this. Someone had to break Buffy of this forced happy mood. No one saw how much she tried to put on her usual happy face. They all thought Buffy was doing better, she knew better than to bottled everything up like she used to. But, Dawn knew her sister. Old habits were hard to break.



So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're just time away



Buffy dropped her things and let her silent tears trail down her blue stained cheeks.

"Are you done?" she choked out, not looking at Dawn.

"Are you?" Buffy nodded and wiped her nose. "Then I'll let you decide what to do about your room." She left, closing the door behind her.

Buffy slumped to the floor. She looked at the mess she made. More than half her room was already blue. She already bought all the paint and supplies. She'd finish it, she just needed to sit a little while longer.



Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothing else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There's so many dreams I've yet to find
But you're so far away


~*~*~


"Yes, I remember. And I also remember you loving it when I was finished too," Buffy reminded, her voice challenging Dawn to continue down this road.

And continue she did. "You seemed to do better after that episode."

"Yeah, I replaced Tapestry with Enigma and Enya," Buffy chuckled.

"Not my favorite choices," Dawn grumbled.

"Look, I better get going, Dawnie. This phone call is going to be costing
someone a lot of money."

"Alright, Buffy. I miss you. Give Spike my love." And yours while you're at it, she thought.

"Like he'd be without it," she laughed.

"I know, but tell him all the same," Dawn encouraged.

"Of course I will. I love you."

"I love you too. Don't forget about what we talked about, well what you talked about."

"Bye, Dawn."

"Bye bye, Buffy."


Buffy sat for several moments on her bed in a seemingly silent room. She watched the torrents of ever present rain cascade down her window panes; they completely blurred the outside. Inside, Buffy was a blur. She didn't know where her thoughts ended and her heart began. God, she hated her sister for making sense, for seeing right through her. She never used to; Buffy could hide anything from Dawn. Spike must have given her tips.

"What am I doing?" she asked aloud. "I'm a grown up, damn it. I can function without him. I'll just go on and ask how he is, perfectly normal. Yes, friendly like. If he wants to be friends, I can do that, I'm the Slayer, I can do anything, face anything. If he doesn't want anything to do with me after this Leila business, I can handle that. I'll just go back home, back to work, back to my friends. I'll live my life and eventually I'll learn to ignore this knowing ache inside of me. I'll ignore the dreams I've been having and even the vision.

She had it a few nights before her Slayer dreams reappeared. Cordelia insisted she needed to find Spike.



~*~*~


"Where is he? Why does he need me?" She wanted to know. All memories of every bad thing Spike ever did vanished at the thought that he was lying somewhere, needing her, waiting for her to find him, to make everything alright.

"Now, if I told you all that, this wouldn't be a journey, would it?"

"I'm going on a journey?"

"Everyone is on a journey and I can't ruin it for you; I'm not going to show you the map, you need to find your way."

"That was deep, Cordy."

"Well, I didn't get this job for my pretty face now did I?" The two shared a laugh admits the strange situation.

"Find him, Buffy. You know you've wanted to ever since he left. Now's your chance. Just remember, it's been awhile for both of you."

"Don't I know it?" she mumbled. "But, he's okay right, physically at least?"

"More than okay physically," Cordelia smiled. "Alright, I'm out of here. Go find the vampire, start your journey and don't think about this too much. Just begin and trust where you are going."

"Is there a pot of gold at the end?"

"I don't know about gold, but stranger things have happened. Good luck, Buffy."


~*~*~



Of course, it took a lot more than the former Bitch Queen to make Buffy leave the comforts and familiarity of home to search for an AWOL vampire. It was the dreams; they were killing her. She was constantly unsettled, begging for insomnia. Sleep found her all the same and dreams haunted her, filling her with confusion until she could no take it anymore.

So, here I am, Buffy huffed. Now, where is Spike?

She checked his bedroom, but there was no answer. She couldn't sense him on the other side so she decided he really wasn't there. She next tried downstairs.

There he was, for once not wearing a white shirt. He wore a navy blue shirt that set off his incredibly rich blue eyes with blue jeans. He stood in the loft library in living room, hidden in the back stacks away from windows and prying eyes. His hand trailed over the books' spines, his fingers in search of a specific volume. Upon finding it, he flipped through the pages. He looked surreal to Buffy, standing there in all his blue glory, as if that color was made especially for him. Even in the shadows that draped over his form could not diminish the hue emanating from him. He looked so normal with a book in his hands. Buffy couldn't tell what it was, but it didn't seem to matter. She thought about William and his love of literature. The intent look in Spike's eyes must have been reminiscent of his human days. He was eager to find that page, that one line; she could almost feel his anticipation.

"Enough voyeurism, Buffy," the Slayer scolded herself. She couldn't help it. His eyes batted back and forth across the yellow tinged pages of the old book. He reclined against one of the floor to ceiling shelves, looking oh so relaxed and at peace with himself.

Still perusing his book, the vampire called out to his observer. "There's time limit you know."

Buffy stepped away from the staircase toward Spike. "A time limit on what?"

"On how long I let you stand there and stare at me." He looked up at Buffy who avoided his gaze in embarrassment. "Don't get me wrong, stare all you like, but do say something during your examination. Bloody unnerving it is."

"What are you reading?" Buffy asked, desperate to switch the focus. She mirrored Spike's position on the opposite stack.

" Venus and Adonis'," he replied, once again searching for his page.

"I don't know that one," Buffy confessed.

Spike snorted. "Didn't expect you to. It's Shakespeare, love."

"So, what, you think I'm stupid or something?"

"Of course not. I don't waste my time on stupid women." Spike and Buffy paused as they realized the compliment was mildly offensive, but they both decided to overlook it. "You're not stupid, Buffy, but, let's face it, reading has never been your forte."

Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Oh yeah? How would you know?" she retorted, briefly reminding herself of Dawn at age twelve. Spike just gazed at her incorrigibly. "Fine then, educate me." Spike raised his scarred brow. "Read some to me."

He smirked. "You want me to read you Venus and Adonis?'"

"Not all of it, well not now at least, but, yes, recite."

Spike thought on this for a moment. Despite their supposed truce and agreement to move forward not backward, he had to admit himself dumbfounded. Buffy was almost being sensitive. He caught her appreciative glances at him only moments ago and it did unnerve him. She was intent on finding something, but Spike was not sure as to what.

He shook it off and indulged her. Spike looked down at his open book and selected a passage.

"'Fondling' saith she, 'since I have hemm'd thee here,
Within the circuit of this ivory pale-"

"I'm confused." Buffy raised her hand in a typical third grade fashion. "What happened just before this?"

Spike heaved a sigh. So, this was going to be a lesson afterall. "You know the goddess, Venus." Buffy rolled her eyes. "That would be a 'yes.' So, Venus is in love with Adonis, who is basically beautiful in every way."

"So that where they got the phrase?" Strange, Buffy often thought of Spike as something of an Adonis, perfectly sculpted, kind of like a marble statue, beautiful when he wanted to be.

"Yes, that's where they got the phrase. So, she wants him. Her lil sprog, Cupid, shot his mum in the chest with an arrow. Now, she's in love with him, but he doesn't want her. All he wants to do is hunt."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah right. No one can resist Venus; she's the Goddess of Love." Buffy was pleased with her two cents, but Spike just gave a small chuckle. Guess Buffy didn't learn mythology.

"Well, the bugger didn't want her. She follows him and traps him in her arms, hence the 'ivory pale.' Make sense, love?" Buffy nodded.

'I'll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer;
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale:
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.'

Buffy's imagination whirled with the imagery Spike fed her. The words were so raw and palpable. She had to admit her own body's response to the luscious tones of Spike's voice as he spoke Venus's pleas for love. How could anyone have said no to someone full of this much affection? It was cruel. To be alone in the forest with the most desired woman of all time and deny her? And to be Venus, so gorgeous, the topic of many songs to come, and shot down so completely, she had to trap him to be heard?

'Within this limit is relief enough,
Sweet bottom-grass, and high delightful plain,
Round rising hillocks, brakes obscure and rough,
To shelter thee from tempest and from rain;
Then be my deer, since I am such a park;
No dog shall rouse thee, tho' a thousand bark.'"


"Wow." Buffy released her exclamation on the breath she was unconsciously holding.

"Did you understand it all?" Spike inquired.

"I believe I did." Buffy took a moment to try to calm down her rapid blood flow still heading south. "She wants sex," she said all too bluntly.

"It's not all about sex, Buffy."

"Just the passage you chose to read me," she insinuated.

The vampire had to smile at the accusation, which wasn't too far off. "I just happen to like that part, pet."

"Is that what you want, a park for a woman and you her deer to prance upon?" Buffy took several steps toward him, closing in the small gap between them.

Spike quickly closed the book shut with a loud bang. He held it out to Buffy, pushing her a few centimeters away from him with the gesture. He could not have her this close, not at that moment. "You should read the whole thing; it's not very long."

She nudged the book, pressing it against Spike's chest. "Why don't you read some more to me, from the beginning. You are the teacher after all."

Spike gulped. Teach Buffy Greek mythology? Read her myths like this one? Who was he kidding; it was about sex. "You don't need a teacher, Buffy. You know how to read."

"Humor me." Her eyes were so playful, Spike almost felt like he was a child again. "This is more fun than a book on tape! It just soundsI don't knownatural coming from you. Maybe it's because you're like her. Maybe it's the accent," Buffy finished her sentence quickly, too much honesty. She didn't regret saying what she said, but she didn't want him to laugh at her comparison.

"I'm like Venus?" He leaned further backward and raised his eyebrows. He was reminded of all those nights sitting on headstones, watching her try to back pedal after shoving her foot into her mouth. It was so sexy! "Enlighten me."

Buffy blushed. This was worse than his laughter; it was borderline patronizing, teasing her with his sexy ways, it wasn't fair! "I only meant that you both are very blunt andpassionate when it comes to your feelings," she whispered, knowing he would hear her every word and every lilt in her voice. She stared into his ocean eyes. "Despite this being a woman's speech, I could hear you saying thisas a human-"

"But not as I am," he presumed. His eyes clouded over and it pained her to see the transformation.

"I didn't say that-"

"But you were going to."

"No, I wasn't, Spike. I was going to say as a human and as a vampire."

"So, not much of a distinction?" Spike ventured.

She gave him a half smile. "Not always."

After a brief silence, Spike returned to the subject. "Fine then, I'll read it to you."

Buffy leaned into him and placed a warm kiss upon his mouth, briefly taking in his bottom lip. She pulled away to find a very surprised vampire before her.

"What was that for?" was all he could say.

She shrugged. "Payment, for the lesson."

Spike straightened his back. "I don't accept kisses as payments for anything."

"Since when?" Buffy impulsively asked.
Her hand immediately covered her mouth; she did it again. He stared at her indignantly; it shot right through her stomach where her guilt rested.
"Spike, I- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it."

"Just couldn't help yourself?" He stepped away from her towards the railing. He concentrated on the floor below not on her slowly approaching form. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and visibly winced. When he spoke, Buffy heard how he restrained his anger and hurt. "I don't accept kisses from obligated women."

She roughly removed his right hand from its grasp and turned him to face her. "I'm not obligated to do anything."

"Save it, Summers, I don't want to hear it anymore." He returned his focus on the railing.

They stood their for several minutes. Buffy didn't know how to get herself out of this one. She never intended to kiss him in the first place and then insult him afterwards. But, she liked the kiss and wanted nothing more than to ease his tension. Her concentration broke when she heard someone enter the room below.

"Spike!"




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