CHAPTER 38

Sherri decided against telling anyone of the flash of true sight.  The headache that had plagued her for days had vanished at the same time, so she dismissed it as a just a side effect of the headache.

Two weeks later she was suffering from another headache, and she got a flash of true sight, only this time she felt what she saw.  And again, the headache vanished.

 Sherri checked on the girls before she crept from the suite and headed down to the workroom again, this time intending to contact Icestone. 

She shaped a wisp of power into a small message spell.  She described her problem as emotionlessly as possible but she knew that the concern had leaked into her voice.  The small globe of energy hovered in the air as she hesitated.

"Go."  She commanded finally.  The little ball shot through the ceiling and out into the night.  "I hope I am not over reacting."

:It is better to know for certain.  Icestone may be able to tell us how long until it goes complete rogue.:  Quin pointed out.

"Are you ready to die before it does?"  Sherri asked.

:No.  But if it comes to that, we will face it.:  Quin assured her.

Sherri brushed her liberally streaked hair out of her face.  :Care for a midnight ride?  I don't think I can sleep just yet.:

:I would enjoy that.  We don't have time to just do anything very often.:  Quin was already leaving the stable and heading out into the night.  :You should tell Kevyn.:

Sherri didn't answer.

~ * ~

"I am sorry Sherri."  The illusion of Icestone shook her head mournfully.  "I have spoken to the others and they agree, resetting the block won't work.  I can come if you want, but there is nothing I can do."

Sherri gestured and the illusion vanished.  :Not what I wanted to hear.:

:I know.:  Quin said.  It had taken a week for Icestone to respond.  In that week she had four spells.  Each more powerful than the last.  Each heralded by strong headaches.  :Are you going to tell Kevyn?:

Sherri nodded.  :I can't handle it.  At least I had some time with out it.:

Quin sent her a wave of love.

Sherri found Kevyn reading to the twins.  The girls had each claimed an arm and were listening as he read another story to them.  Sherri sat in the chair and tried to look as calm as she could.

 Finally Kevyn closed the book.  "Into bed."

Neri pouted but Hana scampered over to her bed and crawled under the covers. 

"Sherri, will you sing for us?"  Neri pleaded.

"No."  Sherri said firmly.  "It is late and you need to get up early in the morning to see mommy when she gets home."

"Is she going to bring us presents?"  Hana asked.

"I don't know."  Sherri knew there were plenty of presents coming for the little girls.  Myra felt guilty for having to leave them behind.  "The sooner you get to sleep, the sooner morning comes."

"What's wrong?"  Kevyn demanded as soon as they were in the sitting room.

Sherri gestured for him to sit down.  "The block on my true sight is failing."

"What happened?"

"I don't know.  Icestone says resetting it is fruitless."  Sherri felt tears starting to pour down her cheeks.  "Gods, why me?  Why can't they just take it away?  It's like a dam holding back a flood.  Sooner or later it will fail."

Kevyn pulled her close.  "When did it start?"

"Just over three weeks ago.  It's what is causing my headaches."  Sherri tried to stifle her sobs.  "I am sorry."

"I know."  Kevyn held her close.  "Any idea what is triggering the episodes?"

"Stress.  It always amplifies it.  First it was just the stress of the girls…but now…now I know I am going to have to deal with it again.  I can't.  I know it's selfish, but I can't."

:Do just you and Quin know?:  Nick asked both of them.

:Yes.  I didn't want to deal with people knowing.:

:Why don't we go to the Waystation just outside Haven?  You can be isolated there and we can decide what to do.:  Nick suggested.  :Have Avren come watch the girls.  Just tell him you need some time alone.  He has loosened up quite a bit in the past few years.:

"We can go tomorrow, after Myra gets back."  Sherri stepped away from Kevyn and wiped her eyes.  "The only thing Icestone could suggest was to avoid stress to prolong my sanity."

Kevyn looked doubtful.  "Are you sure you can hang on?"

"I am sure.  It is only an annoyance right now.  I also have to tell the others before retreating."

"Have you thought about the end?"

Sherri looked away.  "We will cross that bridge when we come to it."

~ * ~

"There's mommy."  Sherri whispered to the girls as Myra dismounted.

"Mommy!"  Neri hollered happily as she ran, arms out to embrace Myra.  Hana held back, uncertain.

"Something wrong, pumpkin?"  Sherri asked.

"I don't know her."  Hana whispered.

"You know her, you just don't remember her because you were so small.  She is the one who wrote the letters."

Myra swung the giggling Neri into the air and kissed her affectionately.  "Oh, my goodness, you have gotten so big!"

:Which one is this?:

:Neri.:

"Kevyn says I am going to be bigger than you before I am six."  Neri shared.

Myra laughed and cuddled her daughter closer.  She kept one eye on Hana and sadness crept into her expression.

Sherri knelt next to Hana.  "Give her a chance."

Hana looked doubtful.

"Trust me, pumpkin, she is your mommy.  Do you remember all the letters?  She sent you the carved pony."

Hana nodded.  "Do you think she will like me?"

"I know she will love you."

Hana stepped forward slowly and Myra scooped her up as well.  "I've missed you two so much!"

Sherri slipped away to let them have some privacy for their reunion.

:Do you wish you had your own children?:  Quin asked.

:Not particularly.:  Sherri admitted.  :I like being the devoted aunt who gets to spoil them.  I never even expected to marry.:

:Which you haven't, yet.:  Quin pointed out.

Sherri chuckled.  "Don't start."

:The Queen has a free moment if you want to talk to her.:  Quin wisely changed the subject.

"Thank you, horse."

"Hey, beautiful."  Kevyn greeted her.

Sherri looked up to see him approaching.  "Hey, handsome.  Myra just arrived."

"Did you want to leave immediately?" 

Sherri could hear the concern behind the question.  "No.  I still want to tell Teren and Selenay before we take off for parts unknown."  She smiled at him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.  "I am going to speak to Selenay now.  Why don't we meet for lunch down by the river before we get started on today's work?"

"Are you sure you are up to it?"

:Of course.:  Sherri used mindspeech so he would know she was telling the truth.  :I will meet you in a candlemark in that small grove by the river.:

:I will see to the food.  Anything you want in particular?:

:Whatever can be eaten with your fingers.:  She suggested provocatively.  :I have missed my scoundrel these past months.:

Kevyn laughed, satisfied that she was fine for the moment.  "In a candlemark then."

A few minutes later Sherri stood outside Queen's apartment waiting to be announced.

Finally, the guard waved her in.  She found the queen sitting at her desk, her fingers stained with blue and red ink.  She saw the highly decorated piece of parchment on the desk with what appeared to be the beginning of a poem.

"Am I interrupting?"  Sherri asked.

"No, my eyes were starting to cross from all the detail."  Selenay assured her.  "Is something wrong?"

Sherri sank onto one of the comfortable, serviceable chairs before she said anything.  "The block on my true sight is failing."

It took a few seconds for the news to sink in.  "Oh, gods, I am so sorry."  Selenay started to reach for her but hesitated.

"Stress makes it worse so I don't think it would be wise for me to stay here."  Sherri confessed. 

"Is Kevyn going with you?  I think he should."

"He wants to.  I want to go up north to Sorrows."

"That would probably be for the best.  Do you have any idea how long you have?"

"A few months at best.  I am not going to let it actually become fully active."

"What about Kevyn?"

Sherri hesitated.  "I think he plans to…join me."

"I figured as much."  Selenay admitted.  "Even if he doesn't intend to, he probably would follow you rather quickly."

Sherri nodded.  "I know.  As much as I wish it wasn't true, I know it is."

"When are you leaving?"

"Kevyn wants to leave today, but I think it will be a few days.  We will stop and visit Favram, but I want to stay in the forest."

"Take a chirra or two if you need it."

"We won't need it.  We will want to travel fast.  We will keep up our work while we can.  I am sorry I had to spring this on you while you were relaxing, but I didn't know when I would be able to catch you alone again."

"That's quite alright."  Selenay assured her.  "Just…I don't know what to say.  I don't know what I would do in your place."

"Probably the same thing.  I better go.  Kevyn has a picnic waiting for me."

"If I don't see you again, I want to say good bye now."  Selenay said as she stood and gave her a warm, lingering hug.  "Don't worry about the others, I will tell them."

Sherri shook her head.  "They deserve to hear it from me.  I will tell them tonight.  I am sorry for having to run off on you like this."

"I know."  Selenay finally pulled away.  "I have sent my Heralds to certain death before, but never at her own hand."

Sherri looked away as tears gathered in her eyes.  "You aren't sending me.  I was ready to face this five years ago if we couldn't master it.  I am ready now."

"I am going to miss you."  Selenay admitted.

Sherri nodded, unable to speak.  She hurried from the room and down the hall.

:Are you alright?:  Kevyn asked, sensing her distress.

:It is just hard to say goodbye.:

:I know.:  Kevyn sent her a wave of understanding and love.

Sherri hurried outside and through the gardens.  When she reached the small grove she found Kevyn, Nick, and Quin waiting.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting."  She said lightly.

"You are worth the wait."  Kevyn assured her.

:How are you feeling?:  Quin asked.

"Please, don't ask.  I don't want to discuss it right now.  All I want is to enjoy the company of my favourite gentlemen."

As she curled up next to her lover she felt some peace return.  "We should leave the day after tomorrow.  I want to get as far from everyone as I can.  Just in case."

"Sorrows?"

"If you don't mind.  I have always felt safest there.  There is an old cottage there we can use."

"That sounds like the best plan.  Perhaps you will be able to see your friends."

"Maybe."  She shrugged.  "What do you two think?"

She could feel the Companion's surprise at being asked.

:You should go where you are comfortable.:  Nick agreed.  :You need as little stress as possible if we are going to have any hope of getting this under control.:

:I doubt there is little hope for control.:  Quin admitted sorrowfully.  :But I agree, you need to go to Sorrows.  You can both continue to work with the leylines up north.:

"It sounds like we have a plan then."  Kevyn kissed the back of her neck, causing her to shiver.  "Tell me if you need to leave sooner."

"I will.  I swear it."  She promised.  "I wonder if the girls are going to interrupt us."

"I doubt it.  Myra is probably not going to let them out of her sight for a long while."  He continued to nibble on her neck.

:May I remind you, this is not what a father wants to see?:

:I thought we agreed that you are more brother than father.:  Sherri responded distractedly.

"What's wrong?"  Kevyn asked.

"Quin is being a pest."

:Hardly!:  Quin protested.

:It would be easier if I could tell him.  I hate keeping secrets from him.:

Quin hesitated.  :I can't see any reason not to tell him now.:

:I agree.  We are leaving in a couple of days and we aren't returning.  I am sure he won't tell anyone else.:  Nick agreed.

Sherri straightened and sat back a bit.  "Actually, he was saying that we were making him uncomfortable.  I told you before that I didn't know who my father was, right?"

Kevyn nodded, confused at the strange leap in topics.

"Actually, I do know who he is.  He was a Herald.  His name was Kris, the same Kris that was killed by Ancar at the start of the war."

"Was he haunting you, too?"  Kevyn asked.  "You have the damnedest luck with parents, love."

"He haunts me, in a way."  Sherri cast a glance at Quin.  "He was reincarnated…as my Companion."

Kevyn gaped at her then at Quin.  "But…oh, ye gods…how…"

Sherri hid a smile behind her hand.  "I know."

"I was just…"  Kevyn rubbed his face with his hand.  "I assume that was one of those secrets the Companions wanted you to keep."

Sherri nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Are all Companions reincarnated Heralds?"

"No."  Sherri glanced at Nick.  "Rolan isn't, neither is Gwena.  But Nick is.  He was a Herald-Mage that died a few years after Vanyel was Chosen."

"But, that was centuries ago!  Why is he here now?"

"Because we are starting to use mages again.  Well, at least that is my theory.  The mages are almost all Chosen by former Herald mages.  It makes sense if you think about it, who better to guide the next generation than the previous generations?"

"It does make sense."  Kevyn admitted.  "Why is your father your Companion?"

"I am not certain.  He was a brilliant gift teacher before he was killed.  I think that was why he was offered the chance to come back now, to teach me.  However, we had tried all of his ideas before.  I would have told you before, but they didn't want me to tell you."

"That's alright, I understand."  Kevyn assured her.

"But you don't like the fact that they now allowed me to tell you."  Sherri said with understanding.  "They know we are walking dead."

"That we are."  Kevyn agreed grimly.

"Why?  I know why I have to die.  But you can stay and do so much for everyone."  Sherri gestured to encompass the world.  "Why won't you stay?"

"Would you in my place?  I am not needed here, I am only a convenience."

Sherri knew she would probably do the same.  The thought of losing Kevyn was as horrifying as the thought of losing Quin.  She lay back on the ground and studied the small patch of sky she could see above the trees.  "We'll tell Myra tomorrow.  She deserves to hear it from us before we leave."

"Until then, why don't we just enjoy a beautiful day?"  Kevyn suggested as he pulled the picnic basket closer.

"What did you bring?"  Sherri asked as she sat up, the depressing knowledge shoved to the back of her mind.