He clutched the silver blade in his right hand. It was the stronger of the
two and would do the most damage if he willed himself to cut.
So many times he had willed himself to do it. And so many times he came so close to death. The pain enthralled him. And kept his mind off of other pain.
He did not want to die. If he had, he would've given his father his decision to not follow in his footsteps. Lucius would have surely killed his only son if a hint of disloyalty were in the air.
But Draco only wanted a release. He wanted something to occupy his mind while he suffered. He wanted to get his mind off of the dark empty whole inside of him. He did not want to think of the pain he could not control.
He slowly took the knife and made an incision on the inside of his left elbow. Because of the spot he choose the cut widened itself making it bigger than expected. The blood trickled out only a bit, not enough to worry about. So he made the cut deeper, tracing over it with his instrument of death. When the blood finally trickled on the floor, he stopped. Not wanting to cause death but only pain.
He looked out of the tower's window to see that the sun was finally coming up. He had been in the Malfoy's unused part of the mansion all night.
"Draco! Where are you? You better get yourself down here right now."
He cocked his head to listen to the angry command his father had bellowed. He covered his arm with his robe and hurried downstairs before his father caught him.
"What could you want at this un-godly hour?" His father did not take notice to the comment.
"Today you leave for your last year at that damn school."
"You woke me to tell me that?" A hand found its way to Draco's cheek and it stung like something had bitten him.
"Look you little insufferable ninny, I was not finished speaking. Next time keep your trap shut and use your brain. Something I obviously have not gotten through your thick skull yet. What I was about to say was that this is to be your last year and as such I have plans for you. You will be called on through out the year to perform tasks for me and I wanted you to be aware of it. So it wouldn't be a complete surprise. Do you understand?"
"Yes, father." He said through gritted teeth. Rage coursing through Draco's veins.
"Good now go.go. go do something." He waved his hand dismissing Draco. "Just get out of my sight."
As he left he heard the word "ninny" being said over and over again.
Draco dragged his heavy body to his room while the lump in his throat grew larger. But he was Lucius Malfoy's son and since birth he had been told that tears were a weakness. He would not allow himself to cry, mutilate himself yes, but absolutely no crying.
Once he reached the door to his room he dragged himself inside and slumped down on the floor. He needn't pack; the house elves had already done it for him. So he fell asleep, oblivious to everything.
Draco awoke many hours later when he heard his father's angry screams.
"DRACO!"
Draco groggily looked around his room. He had locked his door and obviously set his father off by not answering his calls.
"What?" He sat himself in a sitting position, his back leaning on the wall, his hand on his forehead.
"Are you ready to go yet? The train will be leaving in two hours. I will be downstairs, waiting for you."
"Fine I'll be down in a minute."
"You better be boy."
"Go to hell." Draco muttered. He got up off the floor, took off his cloak and checked his blood caked wounds. He cleaned them free of blood and put his bloodstained cloak back on. Making sure he was up to his father's standards. When he was satisfied he went downstairs.
"I thought you would never come down. For the amount of time it took you I'd suspect that you were a woman."
"Nice to see you too." He flinched. He went too far again.
Lucius grabbed his collar and yanked him near. "You will not speak to me like that. Do you understand? Or do I need to make you understand?"
"No. I understand"
"Good now go."
Draco was completely unaware of how he got to the station or even when he got onto the 9 ¾ platform. He was deep in thought the entire time. The only time he really snapped out of his trance was when he ran into the mudblood. Even then he didn't feel any emotion, so he couldn't insult her out of a fit of rage. He merely walked on and eventually got onto the train.
Finding himself a nice little compartment to himself. Where he remained for the rest of the trip.
"Can you believe the nerve of that little git? Walking straight into you like that."
"Calm down, Ron. He's not worth it."
"He still shouldn't have run into you like that."
"Just let go of it. At least he didn't call me any awful names this time."
"Yeah I suppose you're right. But if he comes over here again I'm going beat him into a bloody pulp."
"No you're not."
"And why not?"
"Because I already told you he's not worth it."
"Fighting already? Must be a record."
Ron and Hermione turned to see Harry.
"Hello Harry. How was your holiday?"
"Like you have to ask. It was awful."
"Well let's forget about that and get on the train." Ron said.
"Yeah let's go." They all agreed. They gathered their things and got onto the train.
They searched for an empty compartment until they found one near the back of the train. They sat down and almost immediately Hermione grabbed a book out of her bag to read, while the boys talked of quidditch.
"Hello dears anything off the trolley today?" In the doorway stood a short plump little witch.
"Sure." Said Harry.
When everything was bought and paid for the witch set off to the next compartment leaving the trio behind.
"Geeze Hermione you really need to take a break. You'll kill yourself if you don't slow down." His mouth full of chocolate.
Hermione looked up from her book, Standard Book of Spells Grade 7, and peered into Ron's face.
"Yeah Hermione the term hasn't even started yet." Harry added.
"So? Can't I get a head start?"
"But you're already head girl. You don't need to worry so much this year." Ron said.
"Speaking of heads, who is head boy this year?" Harry asked.
"Draco Malfoy." She muttered.
"What? How could that thing get to be head boy? I mean the nerve of Dumbledore to appoint him to such a position. Dumbledore is off his stack. When we get there I'm going to give him and Draco a piece of my mind."
"No you're not Ron."
"Just watch me."
"Ron you'll only get yourself in trouble."
"So? I don't care."
"Here we go again." Harry muttered.
"Don't you start too Harry." Ron warned.
"I wasn't doing anything."
Ron put on a high pitched supposed to be Harry's voice and said, "Here we go again."
"I do not sound like that."
"That's what you think."
"That's it I'm leaving." Hermione said fed up with their behavior. She gathered her things and headed to the Head Girl and Head Boy's private compartment, which Draco already occupied.
Draco didn't mind though. Only because he didn't notice that she was there. Even then he didn't really care. He only insulted her because she was what his father called, "filth". If his father ever found out that he hadn't been nasty to her, then Lucius would think his son weak and soft. Not death eater material and Draco probably would've been killed, so as to not disgrace the family name.
She pulled out the book that she had tried to read before she left Harry and Ron and opened to where she left off. Eager to try out one of the more complicated spells.
So many times he had willed himself to do it. And so many times he came so close to death. The pain enthralled him. And kept his mind off of other pain.
He did not want to die. If he had, he would've given his father his decision to not follow in his footsteps. Lucius would have surely killed his only son if a hint of disloyalty were in the air.
But Draco only wanted a release. He wanted something to occupy his mind while he suffered. He wanted to get his mind off of the dark empty whole inside of him. He did not want to think of the pain he could not control.
He slowly took the knife and made an incision on the inside of his left elbow. Because of the spot he choose the cut widened itself making it bigger than expected. The blood trickled out only a bit, not enough to worry about. So he made the cut deeper, tracing over it with his instrument of death. When the blood finally trickled on the floor, he stopped. Not wanting to cause death but only pain.
He looked out of the tower's window to see that the sun was finally coming up. He had been in the Malfoy's unused part of the mansion all night.
"Draco! Where are you? You better get yourself down here right now."
He cocked his head to listen to the angry command his father had bellowed. He covered his arm with his robe and hurried downstairs before his father caught him.
"What could you want at this un-godly hour?" His father did not take notice to the comment.
"Today you leave for your last year at that damn school."
"You woke me to tell me that?" A hand found its way to Draco's cheek and it stung like something had bitten him.
"Look you little insufferable ninny, I was not finished speaking. Next time keep your trap shut and use your brain. Something I obviously have not gotten through your thick skull yet. What I was about to say was that this is to be your last year and as such I have plans for you. You will be called on through out the year to perform tasks for me and I wanted you to be aware of it. So it wouldn't be a complete surprise. Do you understand?"
"Yes, father." He said through gritted teeth. Rage coursing through Draco's veins.
"Good now go.go. go do something." He waved his hand dismissing Draco. "Just get out of my sight."
As he left he heard the word "ninny" being said over and over again.
Draco dragged his heavy body to his room while the lump in his throat grew larger. But he was Lucius Malfoy's son and since birth he had been told that tears were a weakness. He would not allow himself to cry, mutilate himself yes, but absolutely no crying.
Once he reached the door to his room he dragged himself inside and slumped down on the floor. He needn't pack; the house elves had already done it for him. So he fell asleep, oblivious to everything.
Draco awoke many hours later when he heard his father's angry screams.
"DRACO!"
Draco groggily looked around his room. He had locked his door and obviously set his father off by not answering his calls.
"What?" He sat himself in a sitting position, his back leaning on the wall, his hand on his forehead.
"Are you ready to go yet? The train will be leaving in two hours. I will be downstairs, waiting for you."
"Fine I'll be down in a minute."
"You better be boy."
"Go to hell." Draco muttered. He got up off the floor, took off his cloak and checked his blood caked wounds. He cleaned them free of blood and put his bloodstained cloak back on. Making sure he was up to his father's standards. When he was satisfied he went downstairs.
"I thought you would never come down. For the amount of time it took you I'd suspect that you were a woman."
"Nice to see you too." He flinched. He went too far again.
Lucius grabbed his collar and yanked him near. "You will not speak to me like that. Do you understand? Or do I need to make you understand?"
"No. I understand"
"Good now go."
Draco was completely unaware of how he got to the station or even when he got onto the 9 ¾ platform. He was deep in thought the entire time. The only time he really snapped out of his trance was when he ran into the mudblood. Even then he didn't feel any emotion, so he couldn't insult her out of a fit of rage. He merely walked on and eventually got onto the train.
Finding himself a nice little compartment to himself. Where he remained for the rest of the trip.
"Can you believe the nerve of that little git? Walking straight into you like that."
"Calm down, Ron. He's not worth it."
"He still shouldn't have run into you like that."
"Just let go of it. At least he didn't call me any awful names this time."
"Yeah I suppose you're right. But if he comes over here again I'm going beat him into a bloody pulp."
"No you're not."
"And why not?"
"Because I already told you he's not worth it."
"Fighting already? Must be a record."
Ron and Hermione turned to see Harry.
"Hello Harry. How was your holiday?"
"Like you have to ask. It was awful."
"Well let's forget about that and get on the train." Ron said.
"Yeah let's go." They all agreed. They gathered their things and got onto the train.
They searched for an empty compartment until they found one near the back of the train. They sat down and almost immediately Hermione grabbed a book out of her bag to read, while the boys talked of quidditch.
"Hello dears anything off the trolley today?" In the doorway stood a short plump little witch.
"Sure." Said Harry.
When everything was bought and paid for the witch set off to the next compartment leaving the trio behind.
"Geeze Hermione you really need to take a break. You'll kill yourself if you don't slow down." His mouth full of chocolate.
Hermione looked up from her book, Standard Book of Spells Grade 7, and peered into Ron's face.
"Yeah Hermione the term hasn't even started yet." Harry added.
"So? Can't I get a head start?"
"But you're already head girl. You don't need to worry so much this year." Ron said.
"Speaking of heads, who is head boy this year?" Harry asked.
"Draco Malfoy." She muttered.
"What? How could that thing get to be head boy? I mean the nerve of Dumbledore to appoint him to such a position. Dumbledore is off his stack. When we get there I'm going to give him and Draco a piece of my mind."
"No you're not Ron."
"Just watch me."
"Ron you'll only get yourself in trouble."
"So? I don't care."
"Here we go again." Harry muttered.
"Don't you start too Harry." Ron warned.
"I wasn't doing anything."
Ron put on a high pitched supposed to be Harry's voice and said, "Here we go again."
"I do not sound like that."
"That's what you think."
"That's it I'm leaving." Hermione said fed up with their behavior. She gathered her things and headed to the Head Girl and Head Boy's private compartment, which Draco already occupied.
Draco didn't mind though. Only because he didn't notice that she was there. Even then he didn't really care. He only insulted her because she was what his father called, "filth". If his father ever found out that he hadn't been nasty to her, then Lucius would think his son weak and soft. Not death eater material and Draco probably would've been killed, so as to not disgrace the family name.
She pulled out the book that she had tried to read before she left Harry and Ron and opened to where she left off. Eager to try out one of the more complicated spells.