Disclaimer: Tolkien owns LOTR.
I STAND ALONE
All three of them screamed in horror as the ice plank dipped forward, and began to slide down the ramp. It was a dangerously steep hill, and eventually, it got harder to stay on this slippery plank. Legolas was the first one to skid off.
"Help!"
Naurglahad grabbed his hand and Elenwe held her back. Now both of them were starting to fall.
"We can't live the ride like this!" shouted Naurglahad "We're going to fall off!"
Then, the plane hit a rock. It cracked and split into two, Elenwe and Naurglahad on one, and Legolas on the other. Both planks were getting out of control, flying over slopes, crashing into rocks, and spinning. The plane Naurglahad and Elenwe were on hit another rock, splitting it in two. One half slid apart from them.
"Budge up!" snapped Naurglahad "You're making me fall off!"
"You're making me fall off!" said Elenwe. The other plank was still sliding alongside them.
"Jump on the other plank!" he called. Naurglahad shook her head.
"No way! You expect me to stand up and leap over one the other plank?"
"Yes! You can do it!"
"I'll fall off!"
"You can do the same thing on a Dragon! You can do it on ice!"
"Ice and Dragons are two different things! I'll slip! You go!"
"No you!"
"You!"
"You!"
"YOU!"
"Geez!" shuddered Elenwe "Fine then!"
He carefully got to his feet, balanced, and then jumped, barely landing on the second plank. He almost toppled over as he tried to balance on the plane while he was still standing. Eventually, he was riding it.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, "This is fun!"
"Good idea!" said Legolas. He too stood up on his ice plank and balanced himself. "Try it Naurglahad!"
Naurglahad shook her head.
"You're Elves! Remember?" she barked, "I'm human! Humans can't ride on ice!"
"Maybe in your world they can't," said Elenwe.
"But we're in Arda now!" said Legolas, "Who knows?"
Naurglahad's left eye twitched aggregately, but nonetheless did the same as Elenwe. Finally, she was riding on both legs.
"Just in time too," said Elenwe "Look ahead!"
He pointed to the front. The slope was getting a bit higher, creating a jump into thin air.
"We're all going to die," they whimpered simultaneously.
They flew over the slope.
~*~
Elrond shook his head. The three travelers stood before him in his House, damp, frozen, and wind-blown. Elenwe looked exhausted, Legolas was paralyzed, and Naurglahad looked like she had the time of her life.
"I wonder if we can find that ramp again?" she asked the other two. They shook their heads with a fearful look on their faces. Naurglahad grinned. "Of course we can! And during the summer, when we can bring everyone!"
"Naurglahad?" said Legolas "You must be…what do you call it… 'High'"
"Hey! I don't have any drugs or sugar with me do I?"
"What. Happened. To. You?" asked Elrond with an up-tight tone. He looked quite upset at their unkempt arrival and that they were almost a week late. They smiled weakly at him.
"Well," said Elenwe with discomfort "we found an ice cave in Cadhras,"
"It had a Snow-troll in it" said Naurglahad.
"And she flashed a bright light at its face" added Legolas, "By the way, why did you do that?"
"It was called a camera. It takes pictures!"
"Why would you want a picture of an ugly Snow-troll?"
"Hey! You can get big cash for a photo of the abominable Snowman or Bigfoot!"
"So it smashed up the ice floor," continued Elenwe.
"Causing us to slide on a sheet of ice," said Naurglahad.
"Through a thin ice wall," said Legolas.
"Down a steep ramp."
"Up a cliff."
Naurglahad shoved Legolas. "It was a 'minor hill'! Remember?"
"Yes!" he corrected "up a minor hill"
"And then...we…erm…" Elenwe pondered aloud for the right word.
"Flew" finished Naurglahad lamely.
Elrond tutted. He clapped his hands.
"Well, we should get you all cleaned up then," he walked away muttering under his breath as three Elf servants came and lead them away. "Up a cliff… my Eru, that is somewhat unimaginable."
"I lived it, and I find it unbelievable!" shouted Naurglahad after him. She slapped her thigh and began laughing.
~*~
"And don't forget!" sang one of the Elf maids after Naurglahad had been washed, dried, and dressed, "Banquet tonight at 7:00!" Naurglahad choked.
"Banquet?" she asked completely lost and confused, "What banquet?!"
"A feast to welcome the prince and his company of course!" said the maid "And you'll eat, and chat and dance and-"
"Dance and chat?!…That wasn't in job description!"
"Well maybe you should have read more carefully!"
She bustled out of the room humming a little song herself. Naurglahad stood there alone in her room with her mouth hanging open.
"How could I have read it? It was explained to me!" she called after her.
She turned to face a standing mirror behind her. She paled. Now, not only was she forced to go to some social meeting with a whole bunch of people that she knew half as well as she'd like, and liked less than half of them as half as they deserved, but she was also decked up in style she did not prefer. She was wearing a green Elven dress with white trimmings and her hair was unusually shiny with an Elanor flower tucked behind her ear.
"This is injustice!" she wailed loudly for all of Rivendell to hear "Get me out of here!!!"
~*~
"Beautiful gardens," sighed Elenwe to Legolas "I've never been to Imladris before,"
Legolas closed his eyes and nodded. They stood together in the tranquility, Elenwe slowly rotating to admire the flowers and trees, as Legolas remained still, listening to the plants whisper and the light breeze sing. All was peaceful. Then-
"Legolas!"
They both whipped around. Naurglahad was rushing toward them with her fists clenched and face reddening. They gaped at her in her dramatic dress change. Everything from her head to her toes was different.
"I was just fortunate enough to have the Elf ladies still let me keep my face the way it is!" she yelled aggregately.
Legolas and Elenwe simply remained still. Legolas just had an eyebrow raised and Elenwe was blinking.
"Elenwe!" she barked suddenly, "Did they tell you about this banquet shindig that they're having tonight?" Elenwe nodded. Naurglahad snapped at Legolas "Then it's your fault! You didn't tell me I had to go through this! You did this on purpose! You filthy little-"
Legolas suddenly put a finger to her lips.
"It's just a dance with food and people," he said quietly, "You don't need to make a big deal about it. Things like this will happen at every single Elf city we go to on our journey. You don't need to make a big deal about it." He put his hand down. Naurglahad began to twitch. He shook his head.
"Now come on!" he said finally, "It's near 7:00 already and I don't want to be late!"
He turned and walked out of the gardens, Elenwe in tow. Naurglahad skulked behind them, muttering like Elrond.
~*~
"Eighteen…nineteen…twenty-five-"
"What are you doing?"
Naurglahad was standing in the corner of the room, peering at the Elves that were milling about and dancing. Some had sat down at a table to eat, while others were chattering away. Legolas, who had finished conversing with the head archer of Imldaris, followed Naurglahad into her corner.
"You see that pack of girls over there that are kinda' following you around a bit?" asked Naurglahad, gently pointing to a group of Elf maidens that were a couple yards away from Legolas, whispering as they tried to look unsuspicious.
"Yes," said Legolas, "What about them?"
"You have fan girls! About thirty of them!"
"Well," Legolas rolled his eyes, "I find that it happens a couple times, here and there…"
"It happens where ever you go!" cut in Naurglahad, she began to pace around him. "Especially now, when they know you're looking for a wife!"
"Alright. Then, what is your point?"
"None of them are asking you to dance!"
"Perhaps they're nervous or something?"
Naurglahad's right eye twitched as she continued to spy on the fangirls. She stopped pacing.
"None of them will get to know you too well if they don't ask you by themselves…and that will decrease the chances of you finding a wife, which means, you might not leave Mirkwood for the rest of your life!" She put one hand on her hip and the other in the air with a finger up. "Something must be done!" she proclaimed to Legolas in a heroic tone. Legolas slightly edged away from her.
"You've been drinking the elvish wine haven't you?"
"No!" said Naurglahad, maintaining her tone, putting her hand down, "I would never touch that stuff in a million years-" She smiled in recoil from the glare she got from Legolas, "Just kidding, finest wine in Middle-earth…"
"Good," muttered Legolas, "So what's this 'plan' I assume you're hatching?"
"Dance with me!"
"What?!"
Naurglahad smiled mischievously as she took his hand and led him out on the dance floor.
"If those Elfies see their Prince Charming dancing with a Mortal," she explained, "They'll get ticked and go for the bait!"
"Bait?" asked Legolas, getting nervous.
"You," explained Naurglahad. "Now let's dance!"
I STAND ALONE
All three of them screamed in horror as the ice plank dipped forward, and began to slide down the ramp. It was a dangerously steep hill, and eventually, it got harder to stay on this slippery plank. Legolas was the first one to skid off.
"Help!"
Naurglahad grabbed his hand and Elenwe held her back. Now both of them were starting to fall.
"We can't live the ride like this!" shouted Naurglahad "We're going to fall off!"
Then, the plane hit a rock. It cracked and split into two, Elenwe and Naurglahad on one, and Legolas on the other. Both planks were getting out of control, flying over slopes, crashing into rocks, and spinning. The plane Naurglahad and Elenwe were on hit another rock, splitting it in two. One half slid apart from them.
"Budge up!" snapped Naurglahad "You're making me fall off!"
"You're making me fall off!" said Elenwe. The other plank was still sliding alongside them.
"Jump on the other plank!" he called. Naurglahad shook her head.
"No way! You expect me to stand up and leap over one the other plank?"
"Yes! You can do it!"
"I'll fall off!"
"You can do the same thing on a Dragon! You can do it on ice!"
"Ice and Dragons are two different things! I'll slip! You go!"
"No you!"
"You!"
"You!"
"YOU!"
"Geez!" shuddered Elenwe "Fine then!"
He carefully got to his feet, balanced, and then jumped, barely landing on the second plank. He almost toppled over as he tried to balance on the plane while he was still standing. Eventually, he was riding it.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, "This is fun!"
"Good idea!" said Legolas. He too stood up on his ice plank and balanced himself. "Try it Naurglahad!"
Naurglahad shook her head.
"You're Elves! Remember?" she barked, "I'm human! Humans can't ride on ice!"
"Maybe in your world they can't," said Elenwe.
"But we're in Arda now!" said Legolas, "Who knows?"
Naurglahad's left eye twitched aggregately, but nonetheless did the same as Elenwe. Finally, she was riding on both legs.
"Just in time too," said Elenwe "Look ahead!"
He pointed to the front. The slope was getting a bit higher, creating a jump into thin air.
"We're all going to die," they whimpered simultaneously.
They flew over the slope.
~*~
Elrond shook his head. The three travelers stood before him in his House, damp, frozen, and wind-blown. Elenwe looked exhausted, Legolas was paralyzed, and Naurglahad looked like she had the time of her life.
"I wonder if we can find that ramp again?" she asked the other two. They shook their heads with a fearful look on their faces. Naurglahad grinned. "Of course we can! And during the summer, when we can bring everyone!"
"Naurglahad?" said Legolas "You must be…what do you call it… 'High'"
"Hey! I don't have any drugs or sugar with me do I?"
"What. Happened. To. You?" asked Elrond with an up-tight tone. He looked quite upset at their unkempt arrival and that they were almost a week late. They smiled weakly at him.
"Well," said Elenwe with discomfort "we found an ice cave in Cadhras,"
"It had a Snow-troll in it" said Naurglahad.
"And she flashed a bright light at its face" added Legolas, "By the way, why did you do that?"
"It was called a camera. It takes pictures!"
"Why would you want a picture of an ugly Snow-troll?"
"Hey! You can get big cash for a photo of the abominable Snowman or Bigfoot!"
"So it smashed up the ice floor," continued Elenwe.
"Causing us to slide on a sheet of ice," said Naurglahad.
"Through a thin ice wall," said Legolas.
"Down a steep ramp."
"Up a cliff."
Naurglahad shoved Legolas. "It was a 'minor hill'! Remember?"
"Yes!" he corrected "up a minor hill"
"And then...we…erm…" Elenwe pondered aloud for the right word.
"Flew" finished Naurglahad lamely.
Elrond tutted. He clapped his hands.
"Well, we should get you all cleaned up then," he walked away muttering under his breath as three Elf servants came and lead them away. "Up a cliff… my Eru, that is somewhat unimaginable."
"I lived it, and I find it unbelievable!" shouted Naurglahad after him. She slapped her thigh and began laughing.
~*~
"And don't forget!" sang one of the Elf maids after Naurglahad had been washed, dried, and dressed, "Banquet tonight at 7:00!" Naurglahad choked.
"Banquet?" she asked completely lost and confused, "What banquet?!"
"A feast to welcome the prince and his company of course!" said the maid "And you'll eat, and chat and dance and-"
"Dance and chat?!…That wasn't in job description!"
"Well maybe you should have read more carefully!"
She bustled out of the room humming a little song herself. Naurglahad stood there alone in her room with her mouth hanging open.
"How could I have read it? It was explained to me!" she called after her.
She turned to face a standing mirror behind her. She paled. Now, not only was she forced to go to some social meeting with a whole bunch of people that she knew half as well as she'd like, and liked less than half of them as half as they deserved, but she was also decked up in style she did not prefer. She was wearing a green Elven dress with white trimmings and her hair was unusually shiny with an Elanor flower tucked behind her ear.
"This is injustice!" she wailed loudly for all of Rivendell to hear "Get me out of here!!!"
~*~
"Beautiful gardens," sighed Elenwe to Legolas "I've never been to Imladris before,"
Legolas closed his eyes and nodded. They stood together in the tranquility, Elenwe slowly rotating to admire the flowers and trees, as Legolas remained still, listening to the plants whisper and the light breeze sing. All was peaceful. Then-
"Legolas!"
They both whipped around. Naurglahad was rushing toward them with her fists clenched and face reddening. They gaped at her in her dramatic dress change. Everything from her head to her toes was different.
"I was just fortunate enough to have the Elf ladies still let me keep my face the way it is!" she yelled aggregately.
Legolas and Elenwe simply remained still. Legolas just had an eyebrow raised and Elenwe was blinking.
"Elenwe!" she barked suddenly, "Did they tell you about this banquet shindig that they're having tonight?" Elenwe nodded. Naurglahad snapped at Legolas "Then it's your fault! You didn't tell me I had to go through this! You did this on purpose! You filthy little-"
Legolas suddenly put a finger to her lips.
"It's just a dance with food and people," he said quietly, "You don't need to make a big deal about it. Things like this will happen at every single Elf city we go to on our journey. You don't need to make a big deal about it." He put his hand down. Naurglahad began to twitch. He shook his head.
"Now come on!" he said finally, "It's near 7:00 already and I don't want to be late!"
He turned and walked out of the gardens, Elenwe in tow. Naurglahad skulked behind them, muttering like Elrond.
~*~
"Eighteen…nineteen…twenty-five-"
"What are you doing?"
Naurglahad was standing in the corner of the room, peering at the Elves that were milling about and dancing. Some had sat down at a table to eat, while others were chattering away. Legolas, who had finished conversing with the head archer of Imldaris, followed Naurglahad into her corner.
"You see that pack of girls over there that are kinda' following you around a bit?" asked Naurglahad, gently pointing to a group of Elf maidens that were a couple yards away from Legolas, whispering as they tried to look unsuspicious.
"Yes," said Legolas, "What about them?"
"You have fan girls! About thirty of them!"
"Well," Legolas rolled his eyes, "I find that it happens a couple times, here and there…"
"It happens where ever you go!" cut in Naurglahad, she began to pace around him. "Especially now, when they know you're looking for a wife!"
"Alright. Then, what is your point?"
"None of them are asking you to dance!"
"Perhaps they're nervous or something?"
Naurglahad's right eye twitched as she continued to spy on the fangirls. She stopped pacing.
"None of them will get to know you too well if they don't ask you by themselves…and that will decrease the chances of you finding a wife, which means, you might not leave Mirkwood for the rest of your life!" She put one hand on her hip and the other in the air with a finger up. "Something must be done!" she proclaimed to Legolas in a heroic tone. Legolas slightly edged away from her.
"You've been drinking the elvish wine haven't you?"
"No!" said Naurglahad, maintaining her tone, putting her hand down, "I would never touch that stuff in a million years-" She smiled in recoil from the glare she got from Legolas, "Just kidding, finest wine in Middle-earth…"
"Good," muttered Legolas, "So what's this 'plan' I assume you're hatching?"
"Dance with me!"
"What?!"
Naurglahad smiled mischievously as she took his hand and led him out on the dance floor.
"If those Elfies see their Prince Charming dancing with a Mortal," she explained, "They'll get ticked and go for the bait!"
"Bait?" asked Legolas, getting nervous.
"You," explained Naurglahad. "Now let's dance!"