Later that day at dinner, conversation is light. No one was really saying much. They all seemed to be wrapped up in their own thoughts. All of them, that is, except for Eric. He eyed Mary up and down, noticing that she hadn't looked up from her plate since she sat down. He wondered why she had just shown up, without any indication of coming home. He wondered why no one had heard from her in over a month prior to now. He wondered why she was acting so strangely. But most of all, he wondered what she was hiding, and he was determined to find that out.
"So Mary, what's going on in your life? Last I heard things were getting pretty serious with Wilson, no?"
Mary puts her fork down and looks towards her mother at the other end of the table, pretending not to have heard her father at all. "I'm still really tired, maybe I am coming down with something. May I be excused?"
"Sure honey. Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I think so." She hated lying to them like this, she really did. She never liked lying to her family before, but especially not now. She needs their help, she knows she does, but she can't ask for it. She wants to, but she doesn't think they will understand. She also doesn't want them to write this off as one of "Mary's Mistakes" again. Even though she blames herself, she was well aware that from an outsider's perspective none of this would seem like her fault.
Mary walks upstairs and sits back down on Lucy's bed.
I stayed in the hospital for over 24 hours. I was surprised that none of Wilson's family had shown up, and that the Colonel and me were the only ones there. I was so happy that he stayed with me. He was never really good with emotions, but he knew it was important that he be there. That's what I like about the Colonel; he always does the right thing.
I was really starting to annoy the nurse that was working with Wilson. Every time she would come out I would hound her. Most of the time she came out and told me there was no change, but towards the end she came out and looked funny. I rushed up to her, and she told me that things weren't going great. His heart rate was starting to drop, and that was not a good sign.
I knew he wasn't going to make it, I could feel it in my bones. I asked her how much longer he had.
"Truthfully? Well, I'm not a doctor, but I wouldn't say much longer than four hours. I'm sorry."
I thanked her, and sat down and cried. I felt so helpless, knowing that Wilson was just behind that wall that connected to the waiting room, dying, and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to scream and throw things, anything to let out my anger. I wanted to kiss him one last time- feel his lips on mine. I wanted to hold him and never let him go, and now he was slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do to keep him here with me.
Mary hears someone coming up the stairs. They turn the corner, into the bedroom, and she sees that it is Lucy.
"I know you're not asleep." She says to Mary, who can barely hear her through the sheets. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. OK?"
"What's bothering you then?"
"Nothing."
"Fine." Lucy says, not sounding convinced. "But if you want to talk, I'm here."
"I know, I know," Mary says aggravated. "You're all here."
"If you don't want to talk then, can I do anything for you?'
"No, I told you I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"You know, you might as well just tell me," Lucy pleads. "You know Dad is going to find out soon enough."
"Not if I can help it."
"So you are hiding something!" Lucy shrieks.
"No!" Mary says, covering her mouth with her hand.
Lucy laughs. "Fine. But you've been home for what, three hours now? I'm sure Dad has called the Colonel at least twice by now." Mary's face turns whiter than the snow she left behind in Buffalo. "Are you sure you're not sick?"
Mary gulps hard. "Do you think he has called him?"
"I don't know."
"Do you think who called who?" Ruthie asks, peeking her head inside the door.
"Did Dad call the Colonel?"
"No, not yet at least." Mary lets out a huge sigh of relief. "Why?" Ruthie asks her.
"Oh, no reason."
Lucy rolls her eyes. "Come on Ruthie. Let's leave Mary alone. She's obviously not going tell us anything."
Ruthie and Lucy exit the room, and Mary picks up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Colonel."
"Mary. What a pleasant surprise. Did you get back home OK?"
"Yes, the flight was fine."
"And Billy?"
"Well…he got home all right. I took a cab to his grandparents house and dropped him off before coming here."
"It was very nice of you to do that for the West's."
"It's the least I can do."
"So, did you want something?"
"Yes. I was wondering if you could do me a favor."
"Just name it."
"You didn't tell my father about…" Mary couldn't even say it. "Did you?"
"No."
"Well, when he calls- you know he'll call- could you not tell him. I want to be the one to tell him and the rest of the family."
"Ok." He says without putting up a fight. "If that's what you want."
"Thanks Colonel."
Wilson was officially pronounced dead at 3:54 in the afternoon. You might as well have pronounced my heart dead then too. I will never love another man again. Some people say that, though, when their spouse or whatever dies and they end up being remarried again in less than 6 months. Not me. Wilson was the one. I am sure of it. I know I screwed things up in the past- well, practically every time we broke up, but I was trying hard to make it work. He was my everything, and it is so weird going through the day without him, and even worse that he's not here because he is dead. After I found out, I cried for at least an hour. I finally stopped when there were no more tears left, my soul was dry. I could have cried for a long time more- maybe 40 days and 40 nights, and then Noah could come and build me an arc and take me to wherever Wilson is.
Anyways, after I calmed down a little and we left the hospital, I went by myself to go find Billy. Instead, I ran into Mrs. Corning in the hallway of Wilson's floor. When I told her the news, she looked about almost as awful as I must have. Then when I asked her about Billy, fear struck her. You could tell she was meant to be a mother.
"I don't know what's going to happen to him now. Do you know where his mother is by any chance?"
"Actually, she died giving birth to Billy- complications."
"Oh, how awful. No mother and no father, its so sad." Her eyes welled up with tears. "He was such a handsome man, and such a good father."
"And responsible, and considerate, and sexy." I lost it then. I couldn't keep it together anymore; he was perfect. Why him? Why? Mrs. Corning tried to comfort me, but it didn't help. The only thing that would have helped me at that point was to wake up, and find out this was all a dream.