The Nightmare Before Parodies
Cala: Hello! Welcome to The horror that is my parodies!
Macca: You can say that again.
Cala: Hello! We--
Macca: *covers her mouth with paw* I retract that statement.
Cala: *shoves his paw off* Enough chatter let's get on with this--
Jemi: *looks up, tears in her eyes* But...But...
Cala: *sigh* What, Jemi?
Jemi: *sniffle* Someone broke my mirror!
Cala:........and?
Jemi: How do I know that I'm still CUTE?!
Pounce: I'LL Tell You! At the moment, your UGLY as ALWAYS!
Cala: Pouncival?
Pounce: *sweetly* Yes?
Cala: CAN IT! *to others* Now who broke Jemi's mirror?
Exotica: Don't look at ME! All I did was look at it and then it just...EY!!!!
Cala: *hiding a smirk* Jemi, we'll get you a new one. Now where were we?
Tumble: *hopefully* We were at the very end of the parody and were just about to run the credits?
Cala: Nice try.
Tumble: Aw *BEEP*
Cala: *ignores the profanity and leafs through script* Ah Here we are! ok! On with the Fic!
(song ends. All of the citizens of Halloweentown cheer and applaud)
Witches: *cackling*
Alonzo: It's Over!
Plato: We Did it!
(both Tummy bump)
Admetus: Wasn't it terrifying?
Pounce: Not really...
Cala: *whacks him*
George and Bill Bailey: What a night!
Cala: Erm...Munku? I need you again...
Munku: AAAAAAHHHH!!! *starts to flee*
Cala: I have Twinkies!
Munku: ....really?
Cala: Uh-huh!
Munku: *Jumps on stage* (in character) Great Halloween everybody!
Macca: I believe it was our most horrible yet!
Munku: No, thanks to you, Mack! Without your brilliant leadership--
Macca: Not at all Mayor!
Jenny: What a bunch of Kiss-asses...
Misto: *Gasp*
Jenny: What?
Misto: You said ASS!
Jenny: *looks strangely...flattered?*
Cetty: *teenybopper* You're a witches fondest Dream!
Lec: *also teenybopper* You made walls fall, Mack!
Cetty: Walls fall? You made the very mountains Crack, Mack!
(the action switches to the side of the stage where Mack's greatest admirer, Sallibub, a modest rag doll, is peering around the Hanging Tree, Watching)
Jemi: I resent the usage of My cousin's name! I mean, Jemima is sooo much CUTER than 'Sillabub'.
Sillabub: *from audience* Yeah RIGHT!
Cala: Sallibub fit. Besides, this way, we can call the char Sally for short.
Jemi: *grumble grumble*
(ANYWAY, Sally is slowly wandering away when Dr. Finkelgus, the mad scientist who created her, grabs her by the arm.)
Gus: The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sallibub.
Jemi: *struggling* Let go!
Gus: You're not ready for so much excitement!
Jemi: Yes I am!
Gus: *getting angry* You're coming with me!
Jemi: No I'm NOT!
(She pulls the thread which is holding her arm on, allowing her to flee. Dr. Finkelgus overbalances and is knocked out of his wheelchair)
Jemi: Ew....
Misto: You owe me for that, Cala.
Gus: Come Back here, you foolish oaf! *the arm starts to knock him on the head* OW! Ow!
(Sally runs off into the graveyard. Back to the main action. The fans are starting to overwhelm Mack who is backing uneasily toward the gate)
Cala: Yeah right, Macca's enjoying this...
(AHEM!)
Cassie: Ooo Mack, You make wounds ooze and flesh crawl!
Jemi: EEEEWWWWW!!!! I DID NOT NEED THAT MENTAL IMAGE, THANKYOUVEDDYMUCH!
Macca: Thank you...thank you..Thank-you very much!
Jemi: Do I hear an echo in here?
(He is suddenly saved by the mayor, Munkus, who is starting the award ceremony)
Munk: Hold it! We haven't given out the prizes yet! Our first award goes to the vampires for most blood drained in a single evening!
(While the citizens applaud, Macca slowly slides out through the main gates to the graveyard as the awards go on. Coming upon a trio of musicians, he tosses a coin into their open music cases)
Misto: Nice work, Bone Daddy.
Backstage Toms: *howl with laughter*
Misto: Grrrr....
Macca: *trying to salvage the script* Yeah, I guess so...Just like last year...and the year before that...and the year before that.
(He enters the graveyard. Sally, who is sitting examining the stub where her arm was, hears him coming and hides behind a tombstone to watch. Jack wanders around the graveyard and, whaddya know, he sings!)
Cala: Ah, don't we just love musical interludes?
(two kittens look up from their game of tiddlywinks and give her a 'You're kidding, right?' look.)
Mack: There are few who deny, at what I do I am the best
All my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night,
I excel without ever even trying...
Cassie: Ye gawds, he's arrogant....
Mack: *skipping ahead* Yet year after year,
It's the same routine
and I grow so weary of the sounds of screams
And I, Mack, the Pumpkin King,
Have grown so tired of the same old thing.
(There is a chorus and another verse here, but for the sake of HTML space, we'll skip ahead to he last chorus.)
Macca: WOOHOO!!!!
Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That Calls out for something unknown.
the fame and praise, come year after year
does nothing for these empty tears....
(he leaves the graveyard and wanders into the forest, weeping)
Kittens: Awww.......*sigh*...
Tugger: Ahem?
Jemi: Oh Mack, I know how you feel....
(turning around, she notices some deadly nightshade and witch hazel, and gathers some. We are suddenly in the kitchen of Dr. Finkelgus' kitchen where Sally is single-handedly--)
Cetty: Ooohhhh....Bad pun...
(Single-handedly putting the herbs in jars in the cabinets when Dr. F comes down a ramp into the kitchen.)
Gus: Sally! You've come back!
Jemi: *hiding the jars* I had to.
Gus: *holds up arm* For this? *arm waves at her*
Jemi: Yes...
Gus: Shall we then?
(The arm gestures back up the ramp and they head to the lab. The stage blacks out until we get to Dr. F's lab where Sally is lying on a table with the Dr. Sewing her lost limb back)
Gus: That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off.
Jemi: Three times.
Pounce: Word from the wise: Never correct someone to the number of times you've done something wrong; always DENY your sins.
Gus: You're MINE, you know! I made you with my own hands...*admires hands*
Jemi: You can make other creations.
(The Dr. glares at her)
Jemi: I'm restless....I can't help it!
Gus: *finishing the limb repair* It's a phase, my dear. It'll pass, we just have to be patient, that's all.
Jemi: But I don't wanna be patient!
(Back in the forest, Mack is wandering restlessly with his dog, Zerocopat.)
Cori: Talk about mangling names.
(Actually, it's Coricopat in a Pollicle suit. Anyway...)
Cori: BarkBark!
Macca: No zero, not now...I'm not in the mood...
Cori: Bark!
Macca: All right. *reaches into his coat and pulls out a rib* Here ya go, boy. Fetch! *he throws it over his shoulder and keeps walking*
(We are whisked suddenly back to Halloweentown. It is morning and The Mayor is making his way up to Mack's house, passing the band.)
Munk: Morning, gents! *he begins humming 'This is Halloween' and rings the doorbell* Mack? You home?
(No answer. The Mayor gets worried and his head turns right around to the other, pale and worried side)
Misto: I spent WEEKS working on that effect.
Tanto: You couldn't have done it without the magic of costuming.
Misto: Yeah, But I pulled it off.
Tanto: With ME!
(both start fighting)
Tanto: HA! Pinned ya!
Cala: Wrong show....wrong musical.....ergh....
Munk: Mack? I've got the plans for next Halloween! I need to go over them with you so we can get started!
(No answer. The mayor gets desperate)
Munk: Mack, please, I'm only an elected official here I can't make decisions by my self! *pulls out megaphone* MACK! ANSWER ME!!
(He leans back to far and tumbles down the stairs to the feet of the band)
Mungo: 'E's Not 'ome, guv.
Munk: Where is he?
Misto: He hasn't been home all night.
Munk: *groan*
Pounce: GROAN is RIGHT!
(Back in the Forest again, Mack seems to have been asleep on his feet for he suddenly wakes up in a new part of the forest)
Macca: *yawns* Where are we?......It's someplace new....
Cori: Bark! *breaks character* Honestly, Don't I have any lines besides 'Bark Bark?'
Cala: *flips through script* Nope, this is about as good as it gets.
Macca: Can WE FINISH THIS? *back in character* What is this?
(Mack has wandered right into the circle of trees that we saw in the beginning. Slowly he looks at all of them one by one until his eyes come to rest on the Christmas Tree. He turns the knob and looks in. Nothing.)
Victoria: And he said Nothing could get a girl Transferred!
Cala: WRONG SONG! WRONG SHOW!
(Suddenly, he is pulled in. The trees and Zerocopat are lifted by wires to give the illusion of Mack falling. Suddenly, he is also lifted, flying around in circles with strobe lights and fake snow. Below him, the tech kitties are hustling the Christmas Town set on stage. Mack lands in the snow and, seeing Christmas for the first time, SINGS!)
Tugger:...again?
Cala: Yep.
Macca: What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere!
What's this?
There's white things in the air!
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, Mack, This isn't FAIR!
(Like all the songs in this parody, we're going to COMPRESS IT!)
Cala: This is one of my favorites too...
Oh my, What now?
The children are asleep
But look!
There's nothing underneath,
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them
Or ensnare them, Only little cozy things
Secure inside their dreamland...*sigh*...
Eck....Furry...fuzzy...I think I'm gonna hurl....
What's this?
The monsters are all missing
And the nightmares can't be found
And in there place there seems to be
Good feeling all around!
Instead of screams, I swear,
I can hear music in the air
The smell of cakes and pies
Are absolutely Everywhere...
The sights, the sounds
They're everywhere and all around
I've never felt so good before
This empty place inside of me is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh, I want it
Oh I want it for my own
I've got to know!
I've got to know!
What is this place that I have found?
What is this??
(In the middle of his unbridled hyperness, he runs into a pole. It is the sign post that reads "Christmas Town.)
Macca: Christmas Town? Hmm....
(suddenly, on the other side of the stage, a door pulls open and Santa Claus laughs.)
Bustopher: Hohohohohohohoho!
Cori: HEY! How come HE didn't get his name mangled?
Cala: You can't really do that with the big jolly fat man.
Pounce: I thought that was Santa Claus?
Cala: Oy...*reaches for pain reliever* I think it's time for a break...
(the cats drop everything and frolic out)
Macca: *stays behind* Um...Cala?
Cala: yeah?
Macca: You said there was something in the script you wanted to talk about?
Cala: Oh...*flips through script and points to a page*
Macca: *eyes go wide, than he smiles* Skimble won't like that...
Cala: *raises an eyebrow* Will you?
Macca: *grins mischievously and walks out after the others*
Cala: *shakes head* Toms...
To be continued