Animaniacs - _O (aka "X For the Moment")
Hookay. Boy, I tell ya, this is my first try at a real serious fic. I hope I dun flop. _
Oh, yes. I do not own anyone in this story. At least I don't THINK so...o.o;
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It started out like any normal day, however it was destined to...not be one. (Wow, talk about an original intro. Sigh.)
The sun was shinning brightly as birds twittered cheerfully on a gentle spring breeze. The Warner siblings sat on a hillside overlooking a beautiful lake. Dot was sitting against the tree that was providing them shade. She was deep into Michael Crichton's "Andromeda Strain" and, although it wasn't exactly her choice subject, was liking it, and flipped to the next page. Her brothers sat with poles in hand a few yards away, fishing. There were some bites here and there, but nothing the two got excited over. Besides, even if one of them ended up with a fish, it was Wakko who was usually the one to enjoyed it. Not that that bothered his older brother.
This was one of their rare days off, so to speak, when they actually got a little personal free time to themselves, and wouldn't get in trouble for it. So far, it was turning out to be a pretty nice day. The Warners even insisted that Dr. Scratchansniff take the day off from 'babysitting' them (as he called it), though whether that was aimed to please the psychiatrist or themselves is really unknown.
Wakko was the first to break the tranquil silence. "Do you think anyone suspects anything 'cause we let Dr. Scratchansniff take the day off?" Yakko rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"@@@hhhhhh...probably not. After all, we're 'crazy!'"
Wakko grinned. "Heheh, yeah! 'Crazy monkies!'"
They burst into a fit of giggles. Dot rolled her eyes at the two and continued reading.
Boys. Go fig.
When Yakko and Wakko had composed themselves, they wandered over to where Dot sat, and put down their fishing rods. They plopped themselves down on either side of her, put their arms behind their heads and closed their eyes.
"Sure is a nice day today." Yakko commented.
"Mm-hmm." Wakko agreed.
Dot continued reading, sighing contentedly. It was an unusual scene, seeing the Warner siblings actually calmed down and not causing mayhem and destruction. Wakko yawned and stretched his arms. This caused Dot to yawn, and Yakko did as well. Yep, all was right with the world.
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Meanwhile, back on the lot...(not a "DUN DUN DUUUUUNN" point here, mind)
Dr. Scratchansniff looked through some files in the drawer in his office. Although the Warners had encouraged him to just relax and take it easy for the day, the psychiatrist knew it was his duty to help troubled people, and actually getting through a session with someone without cracking up himself would look pretty good on his resume.
He checked his watch. 11:17 AM. Well, his lunch break wasn't for another quarter-hour, but he didn't have anyone scheduled until 3 o' clock that afternoon. Dr. Scratchansniff sighed. He was going to see the Warners. Maybe he should have just taken the day off...he thought it odd for them giving him the day off instead of terrorizing him during one of their sessions. And why did they even bothered scheduling an appointment on their day off? Ah, well. Who cares. Maybe they hadn't planned ahead. _ Man, I really don't know where I'm going with this.
Then he glanced at the file he was holding. It was the Warner's. He took it to his desk and sat down. The doctor thumbed through the pages and looked over little bits of information. Yes, those kids were crazy. Sometimes they drove him mad. Actually, they ALWAYS drove him mad. He put his head in his hands. Why did they haunt him so? Like spooky little puppydog or kittycat ghosts. Always underfoot but you couldn't DO anything about them. 'Cause they were ghosts. However, it was the same principle with the very-much- alive Warners. You couldn't get rid of them.so you would just deal with them. And that's exactly what Dr. Scratchansniff had been doing for a long, long time.
11:19. Time to get some chow, whether it was time to or not. He rose from his seat, picked up the file and headed towards the door. He paused to place the file on top of the drawer. He'd see to it after some lunch. After all that he had endured, he figured one file out of place for half an hour would not cause much harm. Even if it was the Warners'.
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Back at the Tower.about an hour later.
The three Warners were passing the time until their three o' clock appointment with Dr. Scratchansniff. Dot was watching "Signs" on some stupid movie channel, sighing dreamily as Mel Gibson ran panic-stricken through a cornfield. Yakko was quizzing himself on the countries and their capitals. He would spin the sphere, jab a finger down to stop it, and quickly recite the name and capital of the nation he pointed at to himself.
"Reykjavik, Iceland." ... "Nairobi, Kenya." ... "Colombo, Sri Lanka." Etc..
(I'm pretty sure these are correct, but my Atlas is six years old...o.o)
Wakko was lying on his stomach playing jacks, eating the ones he picked up. After the last was gone, he sat up, scratched his stomach, and glanced over at Yakko.
"Wellington, New Zealand! Woo!" He grinned triumphantly and dusted off his hands like a professional. He noticed his younger sibling looking at him and gave a slightly embarrassed smile. Wakko hoisted himself off the floor and strolled over to his brother. He raised a finger and opened his mouth to say "Norway" when he winced in pain and clutched his gut. Yakko was surprised.
"You okay?" He asked. Wakko looked up, flustered, and straightened.
"Oh, it's nothing." He poked his stomach. "There was just this pain in my tummy, but it's gone now." Yakko gave him a quizzical look.
"All right. Well, if it happens again, lemme know, okay?" Wakko nodded in reply and began rattling off the countries he knew the names of to his brother.
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"And I was just saying to Dr. ___ how there are a great many people with, erm, problems, and I just wanted to know if you knew anyone, being a psychiatrist and all, that needed his sort of.facility."
Dr. Scratchansniff was puzzled. "Say what?"
Dr. *** sighed and changed gears. "Do you mind if I poke around your office? You know, just see what it's like being a shrink." Dr. *** was already examining his little ball bearing clickey thingies.
"Is this some sort of tool?" he asked, picking it up.
Dr. *** was not known for his good reputation. In fact, it was kinda the opposite. He was known for being a cruel, and deranged, in a few ways. Not to the point of him being a concern, but enough to get him kicked out of the psychiatric business.
He was a fairly average man, as far as height was concerned, perhaps a little on the tall side. His thick brown hair was slicked back but it did not look nearly as neat as he thought it did. He wore a white doctor's (jacket) and pants. And a stethoscope thingy.
Boy. Can't say that was out-of-place.
Dr. Scratchansniff was standing in the doorway, still a little confused as to what the doctor wanted. "You pull back on one of the balls then let go." Dr. *** did so, and watched as the ball on the right hit the ball to its left, and the one on the far left was knocked back. He seemed to enjoy it.
"Interesting."
"What exactly is the reason you are here?" Dr. Scratchansniff questioned suspiciously, thinking he knew what he wanted.
"Basically, I'm here to find out if there is anyone that is too crazy to be allowed in public. If you know what I mean." The shrink got it. His answer was curt.
"There's no one I've ever seen like that." Dr. *** nodded, and headed for the door.
"Right. Well, if you ever think of someone, let me know, OK?" Dr. Scratchansniff nodded, and accompanied him into the doorway.
"I'm just going to use the facilities," the psychiatrist pointed down the hall.
"Oh, so you don't have one in your office, eh?" He grinned and nudged him in the side. Dr. Scratchansniff just muttered under his breath and stalked down the corridor.
Slyly, when no one was looking, the man slunk back into the room and was about to head over to the desk when the file on top of the cabinet caught his eye. He picked it up and leafed through it. A devious smile played across his face. He tucked it under his jacket, whistling innocently, and shut the door behind him. A moment later, Scratchansniff appeared from another door down the hall.
The two stood facing each other in an awkward silence. Finally, Scratchy broke it by edging past Dr. *** and placing his hand on the doorknob, saying,
"You can leave if you like."
He shut the door behind him, thinking, wasn't this door open when I left? But when he wheeled around and stared down the corridor, the doctor, the other doctor, was gone.
----------
When Yakko had 'successfully' been quizzed, Wakko returned to his spot on the carpet. He looked around for his toys.
"Hmm, I know they're somewhere."
It took him a few moments and tours of the Water Tower for him to remember that he had just eaten them. Then he joined Dot at the TV.
"What'cha watchin'?"
"Signs. It's really good. 'Specially 'cause MEL GIBSON's in it." Dot sighed dreamily. Then she shoved a bag of popcorn under Wakko's nose. "Popcorn?"
"Gladly." He grabbed a handful and stuffed the kernels into his mouth. "You want any soda?" he asked, pulling a can of Scratchy Cola from his Gaggy Bag between bites. Dot leaned away from him to avoid any stray popcorn bits and nodded. Soon after, Yakko came up to the two.
"What were you doing?" Dot questioned, holding a bag of popcorn and a soda out to him over the couch.
"Oh, the usual. Reading, writing, arithmetic." he counted them off on his fingers, "making prank phone calls to George Bush."
"Anything for a laugh." Dot commented, and settled back into her seat.
"Yeah, that's right." Yakko put a hand on the back of the sofa and flipped himself over. He landed next to Dot, bouncing her into the air.
"Dern it! Don't do that when I'm eating." She warned. Yakko gave her a thumbs-up.
Once the movie was finished and 100,000 or so calories had been consumed, the Warners prepared themselves for their appointment with Dr. Scratchansniff. Which was, basically, just packing their pockets with useless crap to annoy him with. Yeah, I now, a lot of planning went into that. When 3:00 rolled around, they dashed out of the tower, whizzed past Hello Nurse (after a brief stop by Yakko and Wakko to let their tongues roll around on the floor) and into his office. They were met with a somber look from the doctor.
"Why the horse face, Scratchy?" Wakko questioned as the three of them leapt into his arms.
"That's, "Why the long face?'" Yakko corrected him. He stroked his chin and shrugged back.
"Ahem," Dr. Scratchansniff interrupted the moment of idiocy. "A man by the name of Dr. *** came by a couple hours ago. I don't suppose you've heard of him." The siblings looked at each other.
"Nah, we don't suppose." Dot said sweetly.
"(¬ _¬) He's a sort of.hmm," he struggled for the right word. "...crazy man."
Man. There's lots of crazy people in our Animaniacs fics, eh? What can I say. ^-^ you people have inspired me. XD
"One of your patients?" (insert name here) queried.
"No..I guess he's just deranged. Well, anyway, when you're out and about, he's the kind of person you should avoid. When he came in, he was looking for someone in need of Dr. ___'s "facility."
The Warners looked at each other, trying to keep in snickers.
"It's not funny! I'm missing your file, that's why. I think he took it..." Dr. Scratchansniff had a guilty look on his face. "I had left it on top of the file cabinet before leaving for lunch-"
"What were you pokin' around in our file for?" Dot put her hands on her hips, saying this in a joking manner.
"Please, please let me finish the story!! ... ; ... Well, the file was still there when he came in, but after I had gone to the bathroom and he had left, it was gone!"
"It could have just fallen on the floor." Wakko pointed out.
"Yeah, or maybe he ate it."
"He could have 'accidentally' knocked it into the garbage can..." Dot jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. Dr. Scratchansniff shook his head.
"No, I know he took it! But I don't have proof."
"So how do you know he took it?" Yakko asked.
"...I just know these things."
"Ooooooohhhhh." The sibs chorused.
"But the fact is that I'm worried for you because Dr. *** seems to be on the prowl for someone crazy enough to stick in an asylum."
".and you're worried about us." This time Dot said something.
"Yes."
The Warners broke into laughter.
"As I said before, it's not funny! You three think everything is fun and games, but sometimes, real world problems arise! And that's when you have to keep your guard up! Speaking of guards, I wonder if Ralph could help." the doctor shook his head. "no, no...All I'm saying is that if you meet any suspicious people, don't act goofy around them."
Yakko, Wakko and Dot looked confused. Was he really being serious?
"All right, Scatchy," Yakko leaned on his shoulder. "Suppose we do meet this "Dr ***" guy. You don't want us to be weird around him?"
"That's correct."
"And...say, hypothetically, we did. Then what would happen?"
"Hmm. I couldn't be sure. All I can say is, prepare for the worst. Promise me you'll do that?"
The three exchanged weird looks.
"Geez, Scratchy, don't get so sentimental." Dot commented.
"Yeah, you're making this sound serious." Wakko added.
Well, it was just beginning to get that.
Hookay. Boy, I tell ya, this is my first try at a real serious fic. I hope I dun flop. _
Oh, yes. I do not own anyone in this story. At least I don't THINK so...o.o;
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It started out like any normal day, however it was destined to...not be one. (Wow, talk about an original intro. Sigh.)
The sun was shinning brightly as birds twittered cheerfully on a gentle spring breeze. The Warner siblings sat on a hillside overlooking a beautiful lake. Dot was sitting against the tree that was providing them shade. She was deep into Michael Crichton's "Andromeda Strain" and, although it wasn't exactly her choice subject, was liking it, and flipped to the next page. Her brothers sat with poles in hand a few yards away, fishing. There were some bites here and there, but nothing the two got excited over. Besides, even if one of them ended up with a fish, it was Wakko who was usually the one to enjoyed it. Not that that bothered his older brother.
This was one of their rare days off, so to speak, when they actually got a little personal free time to themselves, and wouldn't get in trouble for it. So far, it was turning out to be a pretty nice day. The Warners even insisted that Dr. Scratchansniff take the day off from 'babysitting' them (as he called it), though whether that was aimed to please the psychiatrist or themselves is really unknown.
Wakko was the first to break the tranquil silence. "Do you think anyone suspects anything 'cause we let Dr. Scratchansniff take the day off?" Yakko rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"@@@hhhhhh...probably not. After all, we're 'crazy!'"
Wakko grinned. "Heheh, yeah! 'Crazy monkies!'"
They burst into a fit of giggles. Dot rolled her eyes at the two and continued reading.
Boys. Go fig.
When Yakko and Wakko had composed themselves, they wandered over to where Dot sat, and put down their fishing rods. They plopped themselves down on either side of her, put their arms behind their heads and closed their eyes.
"Sure is a nice day today." Yakko commented.
"Mm-hmm." Wakko agreed.
Dot continued reading, sighing contentedly. It was an unusual scene, seeing the Warner siblings actually calmed down and not causing mayhem and destruction. Wakko yawned and stretched his arms. This caused Dot to yawn, and Yakko did as well. Yep, all was right with the world.
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Meanwhile, back on the lot...(not a "DUN DUN DUUUUUNN" point here, mind)
Dr. Scratchansniff looked through some files in the drawer in his office. Although the Warners had encouraged him to just relax and take it easy for the day, the psychiatrist knew it was his duty to help troubled people, and actually getting through a session with someone without cracking up himself would look pretty good on his resume.
He checked his watch. 11:17 AM. Well, his lunch break wasn't for another quarter-hour, but he didn't have anyone scheduled until 3 o' clock that afternoon. Dr. Scratchansniff sighed. He was going to see the Warners. Maybe he should have just taken the day off...he thought it odd for them giving him the day off instead of terrorizing him during one of their sessions. And why did they even bothered scheduling an appointment on their day off? Ah, well. Who cares. Maybe they hadn't planned ahead. _ Man, I really don't know where I'm going with this.
Then he glanced at the file he was holding. It was the Warner's. He took it to his desk and sat down. The doctor thumbed through the pages and looked over little bits of information. Yes, those kids were crazy. Sometimes they drove him mad. Actually, they ALWAYS drove him mad. He put his head in his hands. Why did they haunt him so? Like spooky little puppydog or kittycat ghosts. Always underfoot but you couldn't DO anything about them. 'Cause they were ghosts. However, it was the same principle with the very-much- alive Warners. You couldn't get rid of them.so you would just deal with them. And that's exactly what Dr. Scratchansniff had been doing for a long, long time.
11:19. Time to get some chow, whether it was time to or not. He rose from his seat, picked up the file and headed towards the door. He paused to place the file on top of the drawer. He'd see to it after some lunch. After all that he had endured, he figured one file out of place for half an hour would not cause much harm. Even if it was the Warners'.
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Back at the Tower.about an hour later.
The three Warners were passing the time until their three o' clock appointment with Dr. Scratchansniff. Dot was watching "Signs" on some stupid movie channel, sighing dreamily as Mel Gibson ran panic-stricken through a cornfield. Yakko was quizzing himself on the countries and their capitals. He would spin the sphere, jab a finger down to stop it, and quickly recite the name and capital of the nation he pointed at to himself.
"Reykjavik, Iceland." ... "Nairobi, Kenya." ... "Colombo, Sri Lanka." Etc..
(I'm pretty sure these are correct, but my Atlas is six years old...o.o)
Wakko was lying on his stomach playing jacks, eating the ones he picked up. After the last was gone, he sat up, scratched his stomach, and glanced over at Yakko.
"Wellington, New Zealand! Woo!" He grinned triumphantly and dusted off his hands like a professional. He noticed his younger sibling looking at him and gave a slightly embarrassed smile. Wakko hoisted himself off the floor and strolled over to his brother. He raised a finger and opened his mouth to say "Norway" when he winced in pain and clutched his gut. Yakko was surprised.
"You okay?" He asked. Wakko looked up, flustered, and straightened.
"Oh, it's nothing." He poked his stomach. "There was just this pain in my tummy, but it's gone now." Yakko gave him a quizzical look.
"All right. Well, if it happens again, lemme know, okay?" Wakko nodded in reply and began rattling off the countries he knew the names of to his brother.
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"And I was just saying to Dr. ___ how there are a great many people with, erm, problems, and I just wanted to know if you knew anyone, being a psychiatrist and all, that needed his sort of.facility."
Dr. Scratchansniff was puzzled. "Say what?"
Dr. *** sighed and changed gears. "Do you mind if I poke around your office? You know, just see what it's like being a shrink." Dr. *** was already examining his little ball bearing clickey thingies.
"Is this some sort of tool?" he asked, picking it up.
Dr. *** was not known for his good reputation. In fact, it was kinda the opposite. He was known for being a cruel, and deranged, in a few ways. Not to the point of him being a concern, but enough to get him kicked out of the psychiatric business.
He was a fairly average man, as far as height was concerned, perhaps a little on the tall side. His thick brown hair was slicked back but it did not look nearly as neat as he thought it did. He wore a white doctor's (jacket) and pants. And a stethoscope thingy.
Boy. Can't say that was out-of-place.
Dr. Scratchansniff was standing in the doorway, still a little confused as to what the doctor wanted. "You pull back on one of the balls then let go." Dr. *** did so, and watched as the ball on the right hit the ball to its left, and the one on the far left was knocked back. He seemed to enjoy it.
"Interesting."
"What exactly is the reason you are here?" Dr. Scratchansniff questioned suspiciously, thinking he knew what he wanted.
"Basically, I'm here to find out if there is anyone that is too crazy to be allowed in public. If you know what I mean." The shrink got it. His answer was curt.
"There's no one I've ever seen like that." Dr. *** nodded, and headed for the door.
"Right. Well, if you ever think of someone, let me know, OK?" Dr. Scratchansniff nodded, and accompanied him into the doorway.
"I'm just going to use the facilities," the psychiatrist pointed down the hall.
"Oh, so you don't have one in your office, eh?" He grinned and nudged him in the side. Dr. Scratchansniff just muttered under his breath and stalked down the corridor.
Slyly, when no one was looking, the man slunk back into the room and was about to head over to the desk when the file on top of the cabinet caught his eye. He picked it up and leafed through it. A devious smile played across his face. He tucked it under his jacket, whistling innocently, and shut the door behind him. A moment later, Scratchansniff appeared from another door down the hall.
The two stood facing each other in an awkward silence. Finally, Scratchy broke it by edging past Dr. *** and placing his hand on the doorknob, saying,
"You can leave if you like."
He shut the door behind him, thinking, wasn't this door open when I left? But when he wheeled around and stared down the corridor, the doctor, the other doctor, was gone.
----------
When Yakko had 'successfully' been quizzed, Wakko returned to his spot on the carpet. He looked around for his toys.
"Hmm, I know they're somewhere."
It took him a few moments and tours of the Water Tower for him to remember that he had just eaten them. Then he joined Dot at the TV.
"What'cha watchin'?"
"Signs. It's really good. 'Specially 'cause MEL GIBSON's in it." Dot sighed dreamily. Then she shoved a bag of popcorn under Wakko's nose. "Popcorn?"
"Gladly." He grabbed a handful and stuffed the kernels into his mouth. "You want any soda?" he asked, pulling a can of Scratchy Cola from his Gaggy Bag between bites. Dot leaned away from him to avoid any stray popcorn bits and nodded. Soon after, Yakko came up to the two.
"What were you doing?" Dot questioned, holding a bag of popcorn and a soda out to him over the couch.
"Oh, the usual. Reading, writing, arithmetic." he counted them off on his fingers, "making prank phone calls to George Bush."
"Anything for a laugh." Dot commented, and settled back into her seat.
"Yeah, that's right." Yakko put a hand on the back of the sofa and flipped himself over. He landed next to Dot, bouncing her into the air.
"Dern it! Don't do that when I'm eating." She warned. Yakko gave her a thumbs-up.
Once the movie was finished and 100,000 or so calories had been consumed, the Warners prepared themselves for their appointment with Dr. Scratchansniff. Which was, basically, just packing their pockets with useless crap to annoy him with. Yeah, I now, a lot of planning went into that. When 3:00 rolled around, they dashed out of the tower, whizzed past Hello Nurse (after a brief stop by Yakko and Wakko to let their tongues roll around on the floor) and into his office. They were met with a somber look from the doctor.
"Why the horse face, Scratchy?" Wakko questioned as the three of them leapt into his arms.
"That's, "Why the long face?'" Yakko corrected him. He stroked his chin and shrugged back.
"Ahem," Dr. Scratchansniff interrupted the moment of idiocy. "A man by the name of Dr. *** came by a couple hours ago. I don't suppose you've heard of him." The siblings looked at each other.
"Nah, we don't suppose." Dot said sweetly.
"(¬ _¬) He's a sort of.hmm," he struggled for the right word. "...crazy man."
Man. There's lots of crazy people in our Animaniacs fics, eh? What can I say. ^-^ you people have inspired me. XD
"One of your patients?" (insert name here) queried.
"No..I guess he's just deranged. Well, anyway, when you're out and about, he's the kind of person you should avoid. When he came in, he was looking for someone in need of Dr. ___'s "facility."
The Warners looked at each other, trying to keep in snickers.
"It's not funny! I'm missing your file, that's why. I think he took it..." Dr. Scratchansniff had a guilty look on his face. "I had left it on top of the file cabinet before leaving for lunch-"
"What were you pokin' around in our file for?" Dot put her hands on her hips, saying this in a joking manner.
"Please, please let me finish the story!! ... ; ... Well, the file was still there when he came in, but after I had gone to the bathroom and he had left, it was gone!"
"It could have just fallen on the floor." Wakko pointed out.
"Yeah, or maybe he ate it."
"He could have 'accidentally' knocked it into the garbage can..." Dot jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. Dr. Scratchansniff shook his head.
"No, I know he took it! But I don't have proof."
"So how do you know he took it?" Yakko asked.
"...I just know these things."
"Ooooooohhhhh." The sibs chorused.
"But the fact is that I'm worried for you because Dr. *** seems to be on the prowl for someone crazy enough to stick in an asylum."
".and you're worried about us." This time Dot said something.
"Yes."
The Warners broke into laughter.
"As I said before, it's not funny! You three think everything is fun and games, but sometimes, real world problems arise! And that's when you have to keep your guard up! Speaking of guards, I wonder if Ralph could help." the doctor shook his head. "no, no...All I'm saying is that if you meet any suspicious people, don't act goofy around them."
Yakko, Wakko and Dot looked confused. Was he really being serious?
"All right, Scatchy," Yakko leaned on his shoulder. "Suppose we do meet this "Dr ***" guy. You don't want us to be weird around him?"
"That's correct."
"And...say, hypothetically, we did. Then what would happen?"
"Hmm. I couldn't be sure. All I can say is, prepare for the worst. Promise me you'll do that?"
The three exchanged weird looks.
"Geez, Scratchy, don't get so sentimental." Dot commented.
"Yeah, you're making this sound serious." Wakko added.
Well, it was just beginning to get that.