Two people were holding my head underneath the sludge of the Yeerk pool.
I'd imagined I would have to pretend to struggle so as to make it seem
realistic, but when it came right down to it, I wasn't pretending. Not only
did it feel as though they were trying to suffocate me, but it was like
being at the very top of a roller coaster; that split-second when you are
dangling over the edge, when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there
is absolutely no turning back.
When I felt the Yeerk begin to crawl into my head, I'd been terrified, and couldn't believe I'd actually done this. Even more terrifying was when the Yeerk took control.
One second I was struggling, screaming, kicking- then, slowly, one limb at a time, the Yeerk stopped my kicking. My screaming. It raised my head and used my voice to talk to the others.
It walked me out of the Yeerk pool, and looked around at the sky. I felt its surge of joy at seeing the sky for the first time, and I wasn't scared anymore. I was joyful too, the initial adrenaline punch wearing off. I knew I had made the right decision, even if it was difficult and frightening.
I couldn't solve everything, make everything right, but I could help one creature. And I had. It felt really good.
Hello? I said tentatively. The Yeerk had searched my memories about my decision to become a controller. It'd been confused at first, and I'd been able to tell some of what it was feeling but now it had closed itself entirely to me. I didn't know why.
The Yeerk raised my hand to look at my watch.
It's almost dinner time, I said, knowing it really didn't matter. Mom will flip if I'm not home.
The Yeerk bit my lip, one of my habits that I do when I'm trying to decide something. I guess the Yeerk decided I was right, so it searched my memories until it learned how to go home. It began walking me home.
I have soccer practice after dinner, I said. It's really important that I go, because I'm team captain and we have a really big game tomorrow.
The Yeerk made no reply. I knew it must have heard what I was saying. It just didn't feel I was important enough to respond to. It was probably also trying to organize its thoughts as it searched my memory to become familiarized with the way I would act.
We had soon reached my house. "Mom? Dad?" The Yeerk called, "I'm home!"
Another brief punch in the gut: hearing my voice talking to my parents unbidden. I couldn't have talked to them if I tried.
"Oh, good," my mom responded, "Honey, can you come in here for a few minutes? I need you to help set the table."
"Okay mom. I'll be right in. I just need to put my backpack upstairs," 'I' said. It was scary. It was exactly what I would have said. Same tone of voice, same words. No difference whatsoever. Except for the key element: I hadn't said it.
The Yeerk made me run up the stairs to my bedroom and dump my bag next to my desk. On my way back to the kitchen, it made me peek into Jason's room. "Hey Shorty," my mouth said, "Come on downstairs and help set the table. It's just about time for dinner."
"Did mom say I have to come?"
My voice called down the stairs, "Mom? Does Jason have to come too?"
"Jason! Come downstairs and help set the table!"
The Yeerk stuck my head back in Jason's room and smirked at him.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered and rolled off his bed, clunking onto the floor in a heap. He resembled any of the other piles of clothes in the room pretty closely.
Everything the Yeerk made me do was just the way I would have done it.
We went downstairs and helped Mom clear and set the table.
We had dinner accompanied by normal dinner chit-chat. The Yeerk reminded Dad about soccer practice and he sent me upstairs to get ready. I came down and started walking towards the school's soccer field.
At practice we played hard, and despite not really playing on my own, I had fun. I had to wonder if it was always like this for hosts- when the Yeerks had them do things they used to enjoy, did they still like it? I knew I was an anomale about most things related to the Yeerks, but I didn't know just how many. I couldn't decided whether the host was likely to still enjoy the activity, or hate the Yeerk even more for taking it from them.
After we were through, the Yeerk walked me over to my best friend, Emily. We started walking home together, as we normally did after practice.
"Hey, Emily!" my mouth said. It still seemed so strange that 'I' should say something without even thinking about it.
"Hi, Katie." Emily smiled, her face flushed from the exercise, a few hairs sticking to the sweat on her forehead.
"I haven't seen you around much." It was almost like watching some really odd form of a video. Almost some hyperactive version of a Star Trek holodeck- but in this case, one in which you didn't play a character, but were played as a character.
"Nah, I've been pretty busy with school and homework and... Some other things that came up," Emily sounded a little tired and sad, making me wonder what was up. "I'm free tomorrow, though, if you wanted to get together..."
"That would be great!" the Yeerk said, more brightly than I normally would have. Me on caffeine. "Do you want to maybe go see a movie or something? Go rollerblading?"
"Rollerblading," She said decidedly. "Why go see a movie when the weather is so nice? It's gonna get cold soon enough, so I say enjoy it while it lasts."
My voice laughed. "True. How 'bout you come over to my house around, say, 1:00? Then you could stay for dinner too. Maybe even sleep over?"
"I could do dinner," She replied, "But I'd have to come home after that. I have plans Sunday."
"Oh, okay. Hey, I've got an idea!" The Yeerk said suddenly, making it sound as if I had just thought of it. "The Sharing's having a big bonfire tomorrow evening. It wouldn't be too late. Maybe instead of dinner at my house we can have dinner there. I heard from some kids in the Sharing that these things are really fun."
"Maybe," Emily said hesitantly. Her mood had suddenly changed at my mention of the Sharing. "I'll have to think about it." She paused. "You're really into that Sharing thing, aren't you?"
"Uh-huh. It's a lot of fun. You'd probably like it."
"I don't know. I've already got a lot of things to do. I don't really have time for all the extra activities and stuff."
"Well, think about it," my mouth said, non-committally, as if to imply it was just and idea. "We're just about to my house, so I'd better split off. See you tomorrow!"
"Yup; see ya, K!"
When I felt the Yeerk begin to crawl into my head, I'd been terrified, and couldn't believe I'd actually done this. Even more terrifying was when the Yeerk took control.
One second I was struggling, screaming, kicking- then, slowly, one limb at a time, the Yeerk stopped my kicking. My screaming. It raised my head and used my voice to talk to the others.
It walked me out of the Yeerk pool, and looked around at the sky. I felt its surge of joy at seeing the sky for the first time, and I wasn't scared anymore. I was joyful too, the initial adrenaline punch wearing off. I knew I had made the right decision, even if it was difficult and frightening.
I couldn't solve everything, make everything right, but I could help one creature. And I had. It felt really good.
Hello? I said tentatively. The Yeerk had searched my memories about my decision to become a controller. It'd been confused at first, and I'd been able to tell some of what it was feeling but now it had closed itself entirely to me. I didn't know why.
The Yeerk raised my hand to look at my watch.
It's almost dinner time, I said, knowing it really didn't matter. Mom will flip if I'm not home.
The Yeerk bit my lip, one of my habits that I do when I'm trying to decide something. I guess the Yeerk decided I was right, so it searched my memories until it learned how to go home. It began walking me home.
I have soccer practice after dinner, I said. It's really important that I go, because I'm team captain and we have a really big game tomorrow.
The Yeerk made no reply. I knew it must have heard what I was saying. It just didn't feel I was important enough to respond to. It was probably also trying to organize its thoughts as it searched my memory to become familiarized with the way I would act.
We had soon reached my house. "Mom? Dad?" The Yeerk called, "I'm home!"
Another brief punch in the gut: hearing my voice talking to my parents unbidden. I couldn't have talked to them if I tried.
"Oh, good," my mom responded, "Honey, can you come in here for a few minutes? I need you to help set the table."
"Okay mom. I'll be right in. I just need to put my backpack upstairs," 'I' said. It was scary. It was exactly what I would have said. Same tone of voice, same words. No difference whatsoever. Except for the key element: I hadn't said it.
The Yeerk made me run up the stairs to my bedroom and dump my bag next to my desk. On my way back to the kitchen, it made me peek into Jason's room. "Hey Shorty," my mouth said, "Come on downstairs and help set the table. It's just about time for dinner."
"Did mom say I have to come?"
My voice called down the stairs, "Mom? Does Jason have to come too?"
"Jason! Come downstairs and help set the table!"
The Yeerk stuck my head back in Jason's room and smirked at him.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered and rolled off his bed, clunking onto the floor in a heap. He resembled any of the other piles of clothes in the room pretty closely.
Everything the Yeerk made me do was just the way I would have done it.
We went downstairs and helped Mom clear and set the table.
We had dinner accompanied by normal dinner chit-chat. The Yeerk reminded Dad about soccer practice and he sent me upstairs to get ready. I came down and started walking towards the school's soccer field.
At practice we played hard, and despite not really playing on my own, I had fun. I had to wonder if it was always like this for hosts- when the Yeerks had them do things they used to enjoy, did they still like it? I knew I was an anomale about most things related to the Yeerks, but I didn't know just how many. I couldn't decided whether the host was likely to still enjoy the activity, or hate the Yeerk even more for taking it from them.
After we were through, the Yeerk walked me over to my best friend, Emily. We started walking home together, as we normally did after practice.
"Hey, Emily!" my mouth said. It still seemed so strange that 'I' should say something without even thinking about it.
"Hi, Katie." Emily smiled, her face flushed from the exercise, a few hairs sticking to the sweat on her forehead.
"I haven't seen you around much." It was almost like watching some really odd form of a video. Almost some hyperactive version of a Star Trek holodeck- but in this case, one in which you didn't play a character, but were played as a character.
"Nah, I've been pretty busy with school and homework and... Some other things that came up," Emily sounded a little tired and sad, making me wonder what was up. "I'm free tomorrow, though, if you wanted to get together..."
"That would be great!" the Yeerk said, more brightly than I normally would have. Me on caffeine. "Do you want to maybe go see a movie or something? Go rollerblading?"
"Rollerblading," She said decidedly. "Why go see a movie when the weather is so nice? It's gonna get cold soon enough, so I say enjoy it while it lasts."
My voice laughed. "True. How 'bout you come over to my house around, say, 1:00? Then you could stay for dinner too. Maybe even sleep over?"
"I could do dinner," She replied, "But I'd have to come home after that. I have plans Sunday."
"Oh, okay. Hey, I've got an idea!" The Yeerk said suddenly, making it sound as if I had just thought of it. "The Sharing's having a big bonfire tomorrow evening. It wouldn't be too late. Maybe instead of dinner at my house we can have dinner there. I heard from some kids in the Sharing that these things are really fun."
"Maybe," Emily said hesitantly. Her mood had suddenly changed at my mention of the Sharing. "I'll have to think about it." She paused. "You're really into that Sharing thing, aren't you?"
"Uh-huh. It's a lot of fun. You'd probably like it."
"I don't know. I've already got a lot of things to do. I don't really have time for all the extra activities and stuff."
"Well, think about it," my mouth said, non-committally, as if to imply it was just and idea. "We're just about to my house, so I'd better split off. See you tomorrow!"
"Yup; see ya, K!"