"How ??? Stole Christmas" By Luke's Dragon
A/n
Matt and Dai 'do' Final Fantasy. For purposes of ease on my part this fic takes place before the actual game of FF7 starts so Tifa is still running her bar and Cloud is out of the picture.
~~~
Chapter 2 How Matt fell for Tifa
Not all romances are meant to last. Sometimes the shortest ones are the best ones.
Louise Sybing
~~~
Matt and Davis landed with a thump from the portal they had jumped through which had deposited them at the top of a slide. They had been transported to a children's play park somewhere. There were swings, a slide which they were now sat at the bottom of. Technically Davis was sat at the bottom and Matt was sat on Davis but the details weren't that important. There was also a climbing structure shaped like a giant cat.
"Cool! I'm going to go on the cat Matt"
"Yeah whate… I mean good for you"
"Heh heh cat and Matt…"
Looking around Matt could tell this place was a dump, there was a ruined road to the south and a dirt track north, there was also a major looking iron gate blocking the way west with a large number 7 drawn on it in faded white paint. There was no sign of Christmas here, it was doubtful that they had even heard of it and if they did it was the sort of place where rat made up Christmas lunch.
Checking his bag to see what he had for his quest Matt found half a bottle of eggnog, the only surviving part of Christmas, and the thief had drunk at least quarter of the bottle too. He also had his digivice, harmonica, notebook and pen and about $4.00 and 200 yen. Wow what amazing supplies, looking around the park he also found a strange yellow glowing stone that was quite cool so he kept it.
"Come on Dai, time to find Christmas"
"Okay!"
"Forfeit"
"Aww…What is it?"
"I'll save it for later…"
Heading up to the iron gate they were challenged by a guard wearing a blue uniform and a hat even TK would think twice about wearing.
"Hold. State your business"
"I'll handle this Matt"
"No…"
"We want to go through the gate"
"Why?"
"We're looking for something"
"What?"
"A major religious celebration"
"Fine just don't cause any trouble okay?"
"Thank you"
Matt was quite amazed, Davis had actually done something right, true it had been convince a military officer that they were completely mad but it was the thought that counted. Still they had gotten through the gate and headed along the road. Bits of metal stuck out of the tarmac and burnt out shells of vehicles littered the roadside. If Christmas was hear it was certainly well hidden. A few more paces along the road and they were attacked, by a house.
~~~
As Davis remarked later it wasn't as if they were doing anything wrong, one minute they were walking along minding their own business the next their vision turned hazy and they were under attack from a living, breathing bungalow. Today was not a good day to be Matt Ishida. The building launched a volley of tiles from the roof that they were lucky to dodge out of the way of. Taking cover behind some nearby rubble the yellow stone in Matt's pocket started glowing and spoke in a calm soothing voice that made Matt think of kindergarten teachers. ---Hell House L8 Hp 450/450 ---
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Stupid stone"
"Matt, I'm scared, it's throwing furniture now"
"Damn, lets move it"
The two ran just as a sofa and a washing machine were hurled at the place they had been hiding, despite having no eyes the house looked as if it was searching for them. Suddenly Matt and Davis burst forwards and attacked the house monster. With a rusted car door Matt smashed the ground floor windows whist Davis used a lead pipe to attack the front door, knocking it off its hinges. The house shook then was racked by explosions, it then seemed to grow arms and legs and roared at them.
---Hell House L8 Hp 237/450 ---
"Hey Matt, we're winning!"
"We're not winning! It's firing rockets from the chimneys!"
Looking around for a plan Matt noticed some oil barrels stacked up against what was left of a wall, running in front of them he tried to attract it's attention.
"Hey! House! You're mother was semi!"
"Matt, that sucks, let me try"
"Well if anyone can annoy a house its you Dai-Chan"
"Thanks. Hey loser! You should be called a 'smell house' I wouldn't take out a mortgage on you"
The house turned with some difficulty and lumbered towards them, gnashing it's upstairs window shutters in rage as it charged at them. At the last minute Matt and Davis ducked out of the way. They house could not stop and slammed into the oil barrels which promptly exploded destroying the house.
"Yay we won Matt! We won!"
I'm happy to be alive so I'll let him off those exclamations but really don't want to be stuck here where houses attack innocent travelers. It wasn't even as if Davis was singing that loudly. Oh what is he doing now?
"Look Matt I found 230 gil and a potion"
"Oh… wow I guess"
"Yep and you found the cool talking rock"
"…Yes"
"Do me"
"Davis, we are in the middle of a ruined highway with killer buildings and you want me to 'do you'?"
"With the rock stupid"
After puzzling this for a moment Matt pointed the rock at Davis and again the knowledgeable if slightly patronizing voice spoke. ---Davis L2 Hp120/120 Weak against Ice. Weak against sugar ---
"Hey I'm L2! L2! L2! L2!"
Davis started to do a happy dance around the street and didn't stop until Matt his him very hard, reducing his Hp by 12.
~~~
They managed to reach a small town without being attacked again, although Davis had been pestering Matt to use the rock on himself, so far he had refused as he was slightly scared that revealing his weakness' to Davis would be amongst the dumbest thing he could possibly do.
The town was a wreck, calling it a desolate wasteland would be doing a grave disservice to desolate wastelands everywhere. The buildings looked as though they were made from other buildings which had either fallen down or been stolen for food by the residents. A sign proclaimed 'Elco o ect 7' it made little sense, as signs which have mainly been converted to firewood tends not to.
"Man what a dump"
"Matt, where are we going to find Christmas here?"
"Umm… in… that bar!"
"Woo hoo! A bar"
6 forfeits for Davis… I am going to have fun with this later on. But why would there be a bar here? The people here don't look as though they can afford food let alone to go to the bar all night.
The Bar itself was surprisingly nice, there were several (empty) tables a jukebox by one wall and a piano by the other. The barmaid looked about six and was sat on the floor reading.
"Umm… Hello?"
"Hiya! I'm Marlene!"
"Hi! I'm Davis! And this is Mr. Grumpy!"
"Hi! Mr. Grumpy!"
Dear gods no! I've walked into DavisWorld where every statement ahs to be shouted enthusiastically. I should have just stayed in bed. I can wait for another holiday, it's new years in just over a week. Christmas can stay stolen for all I care. I'm outta here.
Matt was just about to leave the bar when another voice called him.
"Mr. Grumpy huh, that's a funny name"
After being woken up five hours too early, sent spinning through space and time and almost being eaten by a house Matt was in no mood for being made fun of by a bar maid. He spun round to deliver the verbal beating of the girl's life
"My name is not Mr. bloody Grumpy! I'm… I'm…"
His voice trailed off, the new girl was probably a little older than him and dressed to kill. She had long black hair all the way down her back, a very short skirt, or 'belt' as they are technically termed. She was also wearing a tight white top, which displayed her… assets to full advantage.
"You're who?" She doesn't speak, she purrs. Sorry Dai-Chan you're dumped I'm in love. I'm going to forget about Christmas and Odibia and stay here with her.
"Wssffgl" What sort of response is Wssffgl? The girl of my dreams and I can't even pronounce a vowel? Come on what ever happened to super cool Matt who doesn't give a damn?
"So then Mr. Grumpy Wssffgl and friend what can I do for you?"
"We're looking for Christmas"
"Christmas?"
"Yep it's about 24hours long usually found December 25th and its missing"
"Okay…"
--- Tifa L6 Hp 350/350 Weak against handsome strangers ---
"Hey! It's very rude to use sense materia on people"
"…umm… sorry… umm… Tifa"
"That's okay, but now it's my turn"
Nimbly snatching the yellow stone from Matt she pointed it at him. The feeling was very strange, as though the girl was peering right into his heart; no wonder she had been a little put out by this feeling.
--- Matt L10 Hp 876/880 Weak against mince pies Weak against people who get too close ---
"So your name is Matt and you're hurt"
"It's…ah…it's nothing"
"Oh don't be like that, sit down and I'll fix you a drink"
"Hey what about me?"
"Davis, I've thought up a forfeit"
"Oh…"
"Sit outside for an hour"
"That's a lame forfeit"
"I could say naked…"
"I'm going"
Ah ha! Ishida you are too damn smart for your own good sometimes. Now that I've gotten rid of my boyf… Best friend I can talk with Tifa easier
"Here, my world famous 'Final Heaven' cocktail"
"Mmm thanks"
"So you're looking for Chris-tam-as?"
"Yeah"
Matt proceeded to tell the whole sorry tale of how on minute they had been cheerful and celebrating and the next there was no sign of it anywhere and how the portals had appeared in Mimi's kitchen and they had gone through since there were no other leads. Just then a very large 'gentleman' dressed in combat gear with what looked like a machine gun where his left arm should be stormed into the bar carrying Davis under his other arm. Both looked as though they had been involved in a food fight. Knowing Davis that's quite possible. Just when I was getting somewhere with Tifa.
"Yo Tif! I've had a bad day, fix me a beer"
"Matt! I found it!"
"You found it?"
"Yeah, all the food was in this guys shed"
"All what food?"
"The Christmas food, mince pies, sprouts, turkey the whole lot"
"Yeah in our ammo dump. Anyway who are you guys?"
"I'm Matt, you've already met Davis"
"So how did your food get into our storeroom?"
"I have no idea"
"Well here's your drink Barrett. What now for you Matt?"
"Umm I'd like another drink too"
"Matt! We have to take the food back, it's a clue!"
"It's not a clue it's a damn pile of food all over our gear"
In the end they had to make several trips back to the park to carry all the food, this was made harder by the fact that both Tifa and Barrett had a phobia of travelling in a group of more than three people, meaning Davis stayed behind to look after. Or more accurately be looked after by Marlene. Soon it was time for them to return home through the green portal. They had found the food but there were still parts of Christmas missing and Davis and Matt had work left to do.
"So you're going back to your friends Matt?"
"I have to, I'm needed"
"Yeah… I guess"
"…Sorry"
"No… I understand"
"Maybe we'll meet again…"
"I hope so, goodbye Matt"
As I stepped back through the gate I felt a sense of sadness overwhelm me, for the first time I could remember I was in love. Not just the sort of relationship I'd always been in, more based around sex or friendship than that mysterious X-factor. You know when you just meet someone and know it's right. Maybe we'll meet again Tifa, but I doubt it somehow.
With a bump Matt and Davis appeared in Mimi's kitchen again.