The Insane Ex
by Ally2185 (aka Twinkle Toes)
*****
This takes place...I dunno...after Realm of the Gods. THe end of that year.
Disclaimer: yada yada yada, nothin belongs to me and so on
*****
Near the end of each year, the king holds a grand feast in which everyone attends to celebrate to longest day of the year (or is it the shortest? Anyway...). THis is known as the Midwinter Festival. So, of course, many spend all day dressing and looking at themselves in the mirror, but nobody NOBODY spends as much time in front of the mirror as the great mage, Numair.
"Nobody's going to notice you've hair sticking out at strange angles at the back of your head, Numair," said Daine, teasing.
"What? Where?" Numair quickly grabbed a mirror to look at the back of his head.
"Right there," said Daine, trying not to laugh while pointing to a spot the mirror didn't show. Numair moved his mirror over. "No, no. Right over there."
"Alright your highness, why don't you fix it for me?" asked Numair, smiling.
"Help? Me? I haven't even started on my own yet. Now hurry up, we've only an hour left," with that, Daine started on herself, then said grumpily, "Gods, if I had known about this habit of your's, I wouldn't have moved in with you."
"Really?" Numair swooped down, wrapped his arms around her waist, and gave her a nice, big kiss.
"Hmmm...I think that makes up for it," said Daine, after thinking for a second.
*****
At the feast, name cards set by pages indicated where each person was to sit. Numair sat close to the king, since he was his pet mage, and Daine sat next to Master Reed at the teacher's table. At six 'o clock, Daine and Numair strolled arm-in-arm down the hall toward the banquet.
"I have a surprise for you, after the feast," Numair said casually.
"You KNOW I don't like surprises," said Daine, who was suspicious.
"Oh, I think you'll like this one"
The two reached the doors and then parted to their seats. They enjoyed a nice, huge feast with lemons and chicken and beef. (yum yum) Half way through the feast however, the doors flew open, and a blonde woman walked in. She looked to be in her late twenties, and would be pretty if she didn't have a strange glint in her blue eyes. She skipped up towards the King, humming along the way. The guards started toward her, but Numair held up his hand. Daine watched the scene, confused.
"Numair!!! Muzzer said you'd be here," the woman said, and ran up to hug him while he was still sitting behind the table. In the process, she knocked over a bowl of soup, staining Numair's crisp shirt with orange. She took notice; Daine stifled a giggle. Numair had spent so much time to make sure he was absolutely perfect.
"Madam, please," said Numair, in a calm voice.
Josiane straightened and a look of sheer insanity appeared on her face. "So it's 'Madam' now is it? IS IT? Don't you remember me? Josiane? Josiane #4? PRINCESS JOSIANE #4 of the Copper Isles? My sister, Josiane #1 was brutaly murdered by (turns to Alanna and points) HER! Remember Carthak?!"
"Josiane, please. Why don't you sit and join in the feast?" said Numair, quietly.
"Do you have mudberry cake?" asked Josiane, whose mood changed suddenly to puer delight.
"Yes, I think we can arrange that," he replied. Josiane jumped up and down and started clapping. THe court just stared at her w/ amazement and awe while she picked up a chair, placed it across from Numair, and plopped down. The court remained quiet for a while and then conversations started and the usual buzz carried on.
Daine walked over to Numair, "Is this my surprise?" she asked.
Josiane perked up when she saw Daine. "You must be the Wildmage! Yes, of course. Muzzer said he was living w/ a curly brown haired tramp. Muzzer always did fancy Numair, so of course that's all I can say about what she said about you. Well, she also said as long as you two aren't married yet, we don't have to get rid of you. It would be haa-"
"Josiane, what is your business here? I would like for you not to include Daine in any of this," said Numair, eyes flashing dangerously.
"My business is to win you and take you home and show Muzzer what a splended little daughter she has. THe most powerful mage, that will go well w/ the rest of the trophies." said the crazy woman.
"Josiane, dear, I'm not available now or ever," Numair beckoned for the guard closest to him. THe guard approached Josiane and lifted her off.
"NUMAIR! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO! You can't get rid of me!!!" screeched Josian, w/ tears streaming down her red face.
The court watched on. "Where will she be taken to?" asked Kel to Neal.
"Oh, she'll probably be kept somewhere until the King has time to deal with her," he replied.
Back at the table, Daine stood staring even after Josiane was led out. Finally, she directed herself toward Numair. "Who was she? And why does she want you?"
"She ah was an old girl friend." he replied sheepishly. Daine looked at him curiously. "She was perfectly sane back then".
"I see, and now she wants you back," she said. She gave him a hug and went back to her seat.
*****
As the feast ended, Numair walked over to Daine and both strolled back to their quarters. THey were exhausted and climbed wearily into bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, Daine felt a tickle at the back of her head. She opened her eyes to see-
"AHHHHHHHH!" Daine screamed.
"Wha-" yelled a startled Numair. He woke up to screaming beside his ear.
"Hi! Why don't we share him?" said a voice in the dark. Josiane had her head level w/ Daine's, staring right into her eyes.
"Josiane! Wha-How-why-"
"I came for you, silly. I see you two are so cute sleeping together, I decided not to kill her off."
Numair got out of bed and lifted Josiane up w/ his magic. "Magelet, why don't you come with me?" Daine got up and all three of them walked to the King's Chambers. Numair knocked on the door, and Jon answered.
"Numair, what's so important it couldn't wait until morning?" asked a grumpy Jon.
"Her. Daine woke up to see her staring right at her" said Numair.
"I thought she was locked up in the rooms we gave her," said a confused Jon.
"Tee hee hee. Tee hee hee" laughed Josiane. Jon took Numair aside.
"I think you really ought to talk to her," said Jon. Numair sighed and talked to Josiane. After he finished, she started sobbing, adn then stopped abruptly. THe look of insanity appeared on her face again.
"If I can't have him, then you can't either!" cried Josiane. She ran toward Daine, who was standing in front of a window. Daine was jerked into the air by Numair's magic, and Josiane ran out of the window to land *splat* head first onto the grounds. Numair sweeped Daine up in a hug, and Daine rested comfortably against him. Later, when guards were sent down to check on Josiane, she was announced dead.
"Numair? whatever was your surprise?" asked Daine when they were back in their quarters.
"Oh! I forgot what with Josiane" said Numair. He walked over to his desk adn pulled out a ring box. "This is for you. It's not- I saw it and I just thought-"
Daine shushed him w/ a kiss.
THE END
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(.¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
.·´ ¸.·*`·-"
(¸.·´
by Ally2185 (aka Twinkle Toes)
*****
This takes place...I dunno...after Realm of the Gods. THe end of that year.
Disclaimer: yada yada yada, nothin belongs to me and so on
*****
Near the end of each year, the king holds a grand feast in which everyone attends to celebrate to longest day of the year (or is it the shortest? Anyway...). THis is known as the Midwinter Festival. So, of course, many spend all day dressing and looking at themselves in the mirror, but nobody NOBODY spends as much time in front of the mirror as the great mage, Numair.
"Nobody's going to notice you've hair sticking out at strange angles at the back of your head, Numair," said Daine, teasing.
"What? Where?" Numair quickly grabbed a mirror to look at the back of his head.
"Right there," said Daine, trying not to laugh while pointing to a spot the mirror didn't show. Numair moved his mirror over. "No, no. Right over there."
"Alright your highness, why don't you fix it for me?" asked Numair, smiling.
"Help? Me? I haven't even started on my own yet. Now hurry up, we've only an hour left," with that, Daine started on herself, then said grumpily, "Gods, if I had known about this habit of your's, I wouldn't have moved in with you."
"Really?" Numair swooped down, wrapped his arms around her waist, and gave her a nice, big kiss.
"Hmmm...I think that makes up for it," said Daine, after thinking for a second.
*****
At the feast, name cards set by pages indicated where each person was to sit. Numair sat close to the king, since he was his pet mage, and Daine sat next to Master Reed at the teacher's table. At six 'o clock, Daine and Numair strolled arm-in-arm down the hall toward the banquet.
"I have a surprise for you, after the feast," Numair said casually.
"You KNOW I don't like surprises," said Daine, who was suspicious.
"Oh, I think you'll like this one"
The two reached the doors and then parted to their seats. They enjoyed a nice, huge feast with lemons and chicken and beef. (yum yum) Half way through the feast however, the doors flew open, and a blonde woman walked in. She looked to be in her late twenties, and would be pretty if she didn't have a strange glint in her blue eyes. She skipped up towards the King, humming along the way. The guards started toward her, but Numair held up his hand. Daine watched the scene, confused.
"Numair!!! Muzzer said you'd be here," the woman said, and ran up to hug him while he was still sitting behind the table. In the process, she knocked over a bowl of soup, staining Numair's crisp shirt with orange. She took notice; Daine stifled a giggle. Numair had spent so much time to make sure he was absolutely perfect.
"Madam, please," said Numair, in a calm voice.
Josiane straightened and a look of sheer insanity appeared on her face. "So it's 'Madam' now is it? IS IT? Don't you remember me? Josiane? Josiane #4? PRINCESS JOSIANE #4 of the Copper Isles? My sister, Josiane #1 was brutaly murdered by (turns to Alanna and points) HER! Remember Carthak?!"
"Josiane, please. Why don't you sit and join in the feast?" said Numair, quietly.
"Do you have mudberry cake?" asked Josiane, whose mood changed suddenly to puer delight.
"Yes, I think we can arrange that," he replied. Josiane jumped up and down and started clapping. THe court just stared at her w/ amazement and awe while she picked up a chair, placed it across from Numair, and plopped down. The court remained quiet for a while and then conversations started and the usual buzz carried on.
Daine walked over to Numair, "Is this my surprise?" she asked.
Josiane perked up when she saw Daine. "You must be the Wildmage! Yes, of course. Muzzer said he was living w/ a curly brown haired tramp. Muzzer always did fancy Numair, so of course that's all I can say about what she said about you. Well, she also said as long as you two aren't married yet, we don't have to get rid of you. It would be haa-"
"Josiane, what is your business here? I would like for you not to include Daine in any of this," said Numair, eyes flashing dangerously.
"My business is to win you and take you home and show Muzzer what a splended little daughter she has. THe most powerful mage, that will go well w/ the rest of the trophies." said the crazy woman.
"Josiane, dear, I'm not available now or ever," Numair beckoned for the guard closest to him. THe guard approached Josiane and lifted her off.
"NUMAIR! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO! You can't get rid of me!!!" screeched Josian, w/ tears streaming down her red face.
The court watched on. "Where will she be taken to?" asked Kel to Neal.
"Oh, she'll probably be kept somewhere until the King has time to deal with her," he replied.
Back at the table, Daine stood staring even after Josiane was led out. Finally, she directed herself toward Numair. "Who was she? And why does she want you?"
"She ah was an old girl friend." he replied sheepishly. Daine looked at him curiously. "She was perfectly sane back then".
"I see, and now she wants you back," she said. She gave him a hug and went back to her seat.
*****
As the feast ended, Numair walked over to Daine and both strolled back to their quarters. THey were exhausted and climbed wearily into bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, Daine felt a tickle at the back of her head. She opened her eyes to see-
"AHHHHHHHH!" Daine screamed.
"Wha-" yelled a startled Numair. He woke up to screaming beside his ear.
"Hi! Why don't we share him?" said a voice in the dark. Josiane had her head level w/ Daine's, staring right into her eyes.
"Josiane! Wha-How-why-"
"I came for you, silly. I see you two are so cute sleeping together, I decided not to kill her off."
Numair got out of bed and lifted Josiane up w/ his magic. "Magelet, why don't you come with me?" Daine got up and all three of them walked to the King's Chambers. Numair knocked on the door, and Jon answered.
"Numair, what's so important it couldn't wait until morning?" asked a grumpy Jon.
"Her. Daine woke up to see her staring right at her" said Numair.
"I thought she was locked up in the rooms we gave her," said a confused Jon.
"Tee hee hee. Tee hee hee" laughed Josiane. Jon took Numair aside.
"I think you really ought to talk to her," said Jon. Numair sighed and talked to Josiane. After he finished, she started sobbing, adn then stopped abruptly. THe look of insanity appeared on her face again.
"If I can't have him, then you can't either!" cried Josiane. She ran toward Daine, who was standing in front of a window. Daine was jerked into the air by Numair's magic, and Josiane ran out of the window to land *splat* head first onto the grounds. Numair sweeped Daine up in a hug, and Daine rested comfortably against him. Later, when guards were sent down to check on Josiane, she was announced dead.
"Numair? whatever was your surprise?" asked Daine when they were back in their quarters.
"Oh! I forgot what with Josiane" said Numair. He walked over to his desk adn pulled out a ring box. "This is for you. It's not- I saw it and I just thought-"
Daine shushed him w/ a kiss.
THE END
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(.¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
.·´ ¸.·*`·-"
(¸.·´