The Past & The Present
by Angel Girl15

TALES, LETTERS & AFTERMATH

Present

~*~*~*~*~*~Tristan~*~*~*~*~

Rory,

I'm sorry, everything just turned into a big mess

Rory,

Before you throw this out, PLEASE read it. You need to know what happened. What you saw was only a moment, nothing else. Summer is a piece of dirt to me, and I never meant to hurt you

Rory,

You probably hate my guts right now, and I understand why, just please read this.

Rory,

I know you will probably throw this out but please read it. By now, you've heard what happened to us that night. I don't know if you know what's happening to me though. I wish I could erase that whole night and do it over. You deserve to know what happened that night, and I want to tell you, but I can't do it in a letter. You deserve more then that. I could write the truth, but you can't see that I truly mean it. I could lie, and you can't tell. This is something I need to do face to face, or at least over the phone. Then you can hear what I have to say and see that I mean it, and it not just lies. I can't say I'm sorry in enough ways though. I can tell you this, and I hope you do believe me. I never wanted to hurt you and what happened WAS a mistake. The rest of the night I was a mess, that's why I got into that car. And that's why I'm on the plane now, heading down to North Carolina military camp. I don't know when I'll be back. My parents, well, this wrecked them. My mom's sister was hit by a drunk driver and died. That's why I got such an extreme punishment. They want me to know what I did was wrong. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to fly back once summer comes, but I truly don't know. I just want you to know, that I am thinking of you and that boy we hit, practically every moment since I woke up, in jail on Saturday morning. This letter is killing me to write. All I want to do is hold you and tell you everything that happened. I need you. You've made me see things I've never seen before. I'm going to end this now, since the plane is about to land, and since I know I sound like a complete sap…the words don't mean as much unless I can tell you face to face…

Love Tristan 3

Ps. If you want to write back, the address is on the front of the letter. But I'll understand why if you don't.

PPS. Here's part of your Valentines Day gift…I know it doesn't make up for anything but I want you to have it

I folded the letter up and stuffed it into an envelope. I carefully wrote the address on the front and then stuffed it into my bag. The plane was getting ready to land so I just stared at the seat in front of me. I can't believe I'm in North Carolina. I would give anything to talk to or see Rory. I just hope she will read this letter. And if not well…I'll just keep sending them.

Past

I woke up the next morning bursting with happiness. Last night had well been, great. Well actually amazing. And now its my birthday. A big smile crept onto my face. Chris had woken me up to tell me he had to get home but I was just so comfortable I fell right back asleep. I glanced at the clock and it flashed 11:42. I knew my mom would send someone up soon so I slowly got out of my bed with a smile on my face. I just couldn't wait to see Chris again.

Present

I played with the envelope in my hands, deciding whether to open it or not. The second I grabbed it out of the mailbox I recognized the scrawl. I had avoided talking about him, since I learned he was being sent away. I had been sitting on the couch, with the letter since I had gotten home, a half hour ago. Finally I got the courage and ripped it open. I slid the paper out and saw a silver chain at the bottom. I tipped the envelope open and let it fall into my hand. It was a necklace with a silver heart engraved with Rory. I then opened up the letter slowly and started to read it. By the end of it my heart felt just as heavy as it had before. At least he had somewhat apologized. I know a letter is impersonal way to tell me, but I need to know what happened. I really wanted to just pick up the phone and call him, but at the same time I knew it would be pointless. If he could call me, judging by the letter he would have already. I wasn't going to make the first move. He had cheated on me, and I have nothing I need to explain to him. It's up to him. I stroked the necklace with my fingers, debating what to do with it. I decided I'd wear it, but underneath my top, so not everyone could see it. Instead of starting on my homework, I hurried to my room and got out the stationary my grandma gave me. "Every lady needs her own stationary" she told me.

I grabbed a pen and started writing.

~*~*~*~Tristan~*~*~*~

Dear Tristan,

You have made the last couple weeks hell for me. I won't lie to you. That night you hurt me, bad. Worse then how Dean hurt me when he dumped me the first time. I have gone through every emotion possible thinking about you. I know you don't want to do it through a letter, but you eliminated the other options, and I really need to know what happened. I need to know where I stand with you. I need to move on from this. Not necessarily move on from you, but I want to put that night, the last weeks, behind me. Just don't lie to me, and it will all be fine. Because if you do lie, I WILL know once I see you again, and then you will be the one experiencing the pain.

I really don't know what to say to your right now. This is the first time I've ever been at a loss of words around you(or well writing to you). I will let you know this though; I do still have feelings for you. You can't just erase those feelings, but trust me; they are being strained right now. I do want to hear from you, because no matter what happens, I do want to be your friend(or at least I'll try to be).

Anyways I have a mountain of homework to work through, so I hope to hear from you soon,

(did you mean what you put before your name?)

Rory

After reading that letter my heart leaped with joy. She still cared! That's all that matters. I just hope that lasts. I had been given the chance to call her at the airport, but since I had written the letter I thought it would be better for her to hear it that way. Now, at the military camp, my parents requested that I have no outside phone communication except with family. I guess they REALLY wanted to cut me off from life outside of these walls. But soon I hope to be out of here…to be with her…

Past

"Okay, question…why are you so giddy today?" Krysta asked when we were hanging out at her house.

"I don't do giddy" I said.

"You know what I mean…"

"Well I have something to be happy about…"

"What? How can you keep that all to yourself?"

"Fine, but DON'T ask for specifics cause if you want to know more, you won't."

"Yeah, yeah just spill!"

I lowered my voice, for no real reason and said "We did it last night."

"OH MY GOD!!"

"Shhh!!!"

"Well come on!! That deserves it. So how was it?"

"KRYSTA!!!"

"What? That's not a specific…"

"It was good…REALLY good" I said to make her happy.

Present

I had just gotten home from having coffee with Lane, and my mom handed me a letter. The second I saw who it was from, I ran into my room and ripped it open, eager to know the explanation.

Dear Rory,

It was REALLY good to hear from you, and I'm glad you are at least are giving me a chance to explain. And I also agree that no matter what happens (although I hope we stay together) we are at least friends. I just want you to know, since you are just going to have to trust me on this what I'm about to tell you…okay, I knew you were going to be late, so I was just hanging around. Summer was flirting with me almost the entire time. She asked if I wanted to go on a walk, and I said yes, figuring nothing would come of it. I needed to get out and get some air. She started talking about all the old good times we had, and we were having a good time. Then she stopped me. Then she kissed me…and I will admit, at first I got into it, but then reality hit me and I broke it up. Then the box hit me in the back…after that I told Summer off pretty bad when a bunch of us were in a room drinking. I just kept drinking it back, and then Kevin said he'd drive us all home, and well you know the rest. I know that sounds like it's just my way of keeping you, but I promise its all true. I'd say ask Summer, but well, you know her…I don't even know what happened to her…the cops let our parents decide whether to let them take care of it or if our parents would deal with us (obviously if they did it decently).

Anyways I want to get off that whole thing, well because it sucks a lot here. The classes are stricter and just as hard as Chilton. Plus the make us reply in "Yes sir! No Ma'am" type of stuff. After classes comes physical training, for 2 hours. Then followed by a lovely meal (its worse then the lunch at Chilton)…and occasionally they cut us off from talking. At least after that we are allowed two hours to relax, but only if we have our homework done. Pretty soon I will be able to get online again, since right now they are updating all the computers here. Then we don't have to wait so long to write…that is if you still want to. So whats the latest at Chilton? Any new gossip? I think that's the strangest thing that I'm actually wondering whats going on there, rather then being a part of it…oh I got to go now, here comes bed check (another lovely addition)

(Yes I do mean it…even if you don't)

Love Tristan

I took a huge breath after reading the letter once, I read it again. I laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The explanation, was, well, not very imaginative one, but there was no big problem with it. OF course the only thing that bugged me was that he could have made it up. "WHY DOES HE MAKE ME FEEL EVRYTHING AT ONCE!!!" I said to myself. I heard the front door open and ran to it. My mom stood there, putting down her bags. She must have seen the weird look on my face because she immediately asked what was wrong.

"I got another letter…"

"So evil boy wrote again…he deserves a cookie."

"Very funny mom."

"I know, I was thinking of becoming a stand up comic but well, the life wasn't me."

"What, saying what you mean and doing a ton of coffee shops where'd you could get paid in coffee?"

"So it is my kind of life…still. So what did he say?" she asked, putting her arm around my shoulders, and walking me into the kitchen.

"First get coffee then we try and figure out what it means…."

"No argueing…I need coffee."

She poured 2 mugs, handed one to me, then carried both the coffee pot and her mug behind me into the family room where we got comfortable on the couch.

"So are you going to tell me what you think first, then let me read the letter or the other way around?"

"He gave me an explanation, and it does make sense, but at the same time I hate not seeing him to tell if he's saying the truth! We just got so close, so fast, then all this happened in one week. I can't handle it all…"I babbled on and on for awhile about how I felt and what he had said.

"Well, next time you write him, see when he's coming back next…until then, keep it just friends. What's happened to Summer? Because I seriously would ask her to see what she has to say about it. If it matches then great, but if it doesn't you might be able to use what she says to figure out exactly how he feels and what he told you if it was the truth or not."

"Summer is at school. She got stuck on probation and a ton of community crap since her parents lawyers settled out of court. Oh, and they paid a ridiculous amount of money to the family so they would drop all the charges on her. Shannon and Brad cut the same deal, but Kevin's parents are making him do something along the lines of what Tristan's doing. Brad has changed a ton though…he's really distant, and doesn't sit with us at all. There's a big hole at lunch and in classes now."

"Honey, don't worry about them. Try and talk to Summer or even get someone to do it for you."

"I'll try but well, we don't get along AT ALL. I told you what she threatened that one day."

"Yeah well, accidents can change people."

"Oh, she's pretty much the same as ever at school. I think its just putting a blip in her social plans."

"So you going to write back to Tristan now or talk to Lane & Amanda and everyone about it?"

"I'll write him now. The can give me an interpretation on it better then you can since they know him better, but I'd rather write what I feel, not what I'm told."

Past

2 months later—(brief summary of what happened then whats going on)

Chris and Lorelei had sex many times. They were practically inseparable. Chris had given Lorelei a bracelet to which he had the matching one, with half hearts on both, that if put together completed one another. He also gave her a few little weird gifts that said stuff, or moved. Lorelei had just noticed she hadn't gotten her period, but had decided to get a pregnancy test just in case…

I was pacing around the bathroom waiting for the mintues to pass by. I knew I probably wasn't pregnant, but well, it doesn't hurt to find out. I'm only 16, I can't have a kid. My parents would kill me. "Ding!" the timer went off. I picked it up, took a deep breath and looked at it. It was blue…I was pregnant. I slid onto the floor, staring at disbelief at the test, at the package. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. Then the tears started to come. I curled up on the bathmat using my arms as pillows, and just cried. I can't have another being relying on me…what kind of mom would I be. My parents are going to murder me. What about Chris? Oh god, what was he going to say?

SO many questions, all unanswered. I needed to talk to someone, but who? I wasn't ready to tell Chris and their was only 1 other person. Krysta. I wiped my tears away and washed my face. I didn't wan to risk anyone in the house seeing my face, and then telling my parents. They'd be on my back in a minute. I wrapped the test up in paper and put it into the paper bag. I was going to burn it in the fireplace in my room. I opened the door to the bathroom, and double checked that no one was in my room. The lock on my main door was still locked. I threw the bag into the fireplace then went and called Krysta.

"Hello?"

"Hey Krysta, can you come over…right now."

"You okay?"

"Just please come…"

"I'll be there in 5."

We both hung up. I walked slowly over to the fireplace, and fixed the fire to have flames all around the bag. Then I lit it, and watched the bag burn up. There may be remains but they will be unrecognizable. I unlocked the doors to my balcony and left it open a crack for Krysta to get in. Then I just grabbed a teddy bear that Chris had given me, and curled up in the armchair next to my bed. And I just stared into space…

Present

Tristan,

I'm writing this letter without having talked to anyone(except my mom) about your excuse. And I just want you to know that I do believe you, but there still is that little doubt in my mind that says your lying. So this is what I want to happen…we remain friends for now. I don't completely trust you yet, but I am not ruling out the fact that we could go back to somewhat the way we were before. Now let's leave that night alone…

Military school doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun. Sounds like a Chilton, put up a few gears. Chiltons been good, though there is that whole missing from you and Kevin being gone, and Brad changed. The workload is still hellish, but of course, I'm doing great J. I'll fill you in on the latest gossip (besides the stuff about what happened that night)…Amanda and Justin are dating, and doing pretty well. Paris got asked out by this guy, but it turned out to be a joke, and she had said yes. I actually felt bad for her. There's the usual hookups (no big ones) and breakups (mostly use and pass ones). So you aren't missing much. You should know that I talked to Dean a week or so ago, and well he's dating this girl that I DESPISED at Stars Hollow High. Well, doesn't shock me, since he probably wants as different as he can get from me (and trust me, she's the total opposite in every way, shape, and form).

So when are you coming back ? I'd really like to see you

Rory 3 (even if I can't say it yet)

PS. You should know that I am going to try and talk to Summer…although I still will want to talk t you about that whole thing

"Another letter from your girl?" my roommate Jerome asked as I folded the letter up. We were both lying on our twin beds, that were on opposite sides of the room, our feet hanging over the ends, occasionally kicking the other ones foot.

"According to this she's not sure about being my girl…"

"Dumped through a letter, harsh."

"Not really dumped. It's complicated. We never really did break up, cause things were VERY rushed before I ended up here."

"Oh, does she have something to do with why you're here?"

"Well somewhat. She's the reason I got smashed and then ended up getting into the car."

"Good job…"

"Very funny Jerome."

"So you writing her back?"

"Course, but now we're on the friends level again, and trust me we went through a whole lot of shit just to end up dating. And now we're right back to where we were."

"Oh, so she's the one you couldn't have, till finally you got together in a big teary moment with the both of you declaring your love to one another" he said making big dramatic gestures.

"Actually, we haven't said I love you yet…and we actually started dating because of her ex."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Just write her."

"The computers are back up today…I can email her now!"

"Maybe she's online right now…and I can watch you get that love-sick look on your face."

I hopped off my bed, and slid into the desk chair. They had just installed the computers that morning, so we had barely touched it. I logged onto my hotmail account, which was filled with messages. They all dated back to Febuary 14th, the last day I had checked it. It was filled with forwards, messages from friends, the few bits of junk. I clicked on compose to write an email to her. I couldn't log onto MSN till I got this message written.

To: Rory coffeeluver4eva@hotmail.com>
From: Tristan badboylover16@hotmail.com>

Hey Rory!

Our computer got hooked up, so now I don't have to excert my poor hands writing letters. And I don't have to drive my roommate crazy by waiting by the door for your letters J Lol.

Jerome says "Hi" by the way. Ahh, the Chilton gossip seems to have gone downhill since I went there…too bad. I'm going to email some people to say hi (my email is flooded, even though most of it probably is just gossip hunters). Well Paris sort of deserved it in a way. Don't worry what Dean's doing…he's not in your life anymore

School's turning into Chilton, just something I do everyday. It's not that bad, since some of the guys are fine (Jerome's well nice but not really normal and yes he yelled at me when he saw that)

Okay, to the whole friends thing, I understand but I still want to somewhat get back to where we were when I left. It's okay if you talk to Summer. I planned on writing her a scathing email but well I don't want to screw things up since I'm not there to watch you(in the good way, not the stalker way)

I got to go and do my homework, but I miss you. I think I'll be back for Spring break, but before that I don't know. I've only talked to my parents briefly. My mom's still torn up over the whole thing.

Love
Tristan 3

Rory

I was finishing off my homework when a box popped up saying

I clicked on the box and checked my online buddies but he wasn't online. That surprised me because he usually always goes online, but maybe he didn't want everyone bugging him. I opened the window and was about to read his email when the phone rang. My mom was at Luke's so I had to search for it. I finally found it in an old pizza box.

"Gilmore's" I answered.

"Hey Rory. What's up?" Amanda asked.

"Finishing homework and about to read an email from Tristan."

"Yeah I just got a short one from him saying he was doing okay and stuff. He sent it out to a bunch of people, but your name wasn't on the list."

"Yeah he probably sent me a response to my letter. Oh so what did you find out about what happened?"

"Okay, when I asked Summer, she said that he kissed her, but then I hid around the corner and I overheard her and Shannon talking and Shannon being the idiot she was said "I thought you said that you kissed him" and then Summer said "Yeah but she's just going to tell Rory, and if Tristan's going to be mine, Rory has to think the other way…do I have to explain everything to you? A leopard doesn't change his spots, so soon Tristan will realize I'm what he needs and wants," and then that was it."

"So he could be telling the truth…but she definitely lied?"

"Definitely. I think Tristan is telling you the truth."

"How do you know that?"

"I've known Tristan for like forever. I've seen him go from girl to girl, change from day to day and trust me you were like the solid thing in his life. I never really knew why he did what he did, using girls because most of the other guys have screwed up families, but his was really nice."

"That was one subject I never brought up with him. I didn't want to know about that part of his past. And if I did I'd just ask you guys."

"Yeah but although you are my friend I wouldn't do that to him. He knows a ton about my past and plus that's a rule of friendship."

"Well I don't want to know that stuff. It doesn't affect us at all so why should I find out."

"Yeah…oh, I got to go. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, bye. Oh and if you talk to Ashley tell her that I may need her help with something."

"Something?"

"Yeah I'm going to need some help on a article I'm writing about sports."

"Yeah okay. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung the phone up and ran to my room to read the email.

Past

"Lor?? You here?" a whispered voice came from the doors.

"Krys? Come in, no ones here."

I heard the door open but couldn't bear to look at her. My eyes were still red. She came and sat on my bed and just looked at me.

"Are you okay? Why were you crying?"

"I don't know who else to tell, but you have to SWEAR no one will every find out…EVER!! I can't tell my parents or they'd kill me, and well then things would be even more messed up…"

"Lorelei. Stop babbling. Whatever it is I'm sure we can fix it."

"That's the thing is I CAN'T!!!" I said throwing the teddy bear at the ground and stood up and started to pace.

"Theres nothing you can do, I can do, anyone can do to fix this…"

She stood up and put my face between her hands, and looked me dead in the eye.

"First, you have to tell me. I swear I will never tell a soul."

I grabbed her hands, looked her in the eye and said "I'm pregnant."

Her face went into shock.

"Lor…" she said giving me a big hug.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now…I'm afraid to tell Chris. What's he going to say?"

"First, are you sure?"

"I took a home test and it came positive."

"Okay, before you completely freak out, you have to go to the doctor.

"But who can I go to? Every doctor I know, is friends with my parents… and no matter what confidence agreement they will tell my parents!"

"Fine we'll take a road trip out of town for a day and you can go to one of those free clinics. Then there's no records, no proof, no nothing."

"Then what if I am pregnant! What am I going to do? I can't raise a kid."

"Shh…shh, its okay. First thing, we will make sure its real. But until then we have to pretend you are. That means watching what you are doing," I tried to complain but she shh'd me. "Look, this weekend we'll go. Just the two of us. We can talk about all the stuff then, like what to tell Chris. Plus since we'll be out of town we can go to a library and look at some books or we can ask the doctor. Just try not to freak out. It will all work out…"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm your friend. You are a strong person. You can handle it, no matter what."

"But what if I AM!!"

"Shh…just don't let all the thoughts rush into your head at once. Just lie down, take a ton of deep breathes then we'll start talking again."

"You're a good friend."

"So are you…but SHH!"