"How ??? Stole Christmas" By Luke's Dragon
A/n
Digimon/Poke'mon crossovers. Yes it's been done before but whateve… I mean never mind
~~~
Chapter 3 How Matt Laid the Smackdown on Pikachu's candy a$$
Oh Hell Yeah!
~ Stone Cold Steve Austin
Oh Hell… Do we have to?
~ Ice Cool Matt Ishida
~~~
Izzy outlined the situation to the Digi-destined, apart from Joe who was still in bed, Ken who had wound up in trouble for trying his card trick once to often and was now locked in the bathroom and Matt who was love sick. Matt was celebrating with the recovered Christmas food, specifically eggnog with a cherry in it. He had tried to copy the cocktail Tifa had made for him but it had failed horribly and that had made him even more depressed.
No one had any idea of what to say to him, so as any good group of friends would do they ignored him. After watching the news they had found that Christmas had been stolen all over the world, one minute it was there the next it was gone. Although the TV guy didn't know that by now the food had re-appeared as if by magic, now it was all over Mimi's apartment, apart from the mince pies and eggnog.
It was agreed that Matt and Davis should continue the quest through the portals, since no one else wanted to do it, especially after hearing the story about the house, sixteen times from Davis. Izzy set them up with a laptop so they could stay in contact and if needed Izzy could download their Digimon to help them.
"That's good because last time we were attacked, you'll never guess what by?"
"A giant bug with cat food for eyes?"
"No Tai. It was a house"
"Really, I'd have never guessed"
"C'mon Matt lets go!"
"No"
"But… Christmas needs us!"
"…"
"FORFIT!"
"Davis it's now fifty seven forfeits to one"
"FORFIT!"
"Whatever…"
"YAY! TWO FORFITS!"
Matt sighed, he'd been woken up early, nearly eaten, met and lost the love of his life and he still wouldn't usually be up by this time even on special occasions. Despite drinking enough eggnog to poison a small continent he was still not happy.
"Forfeit one is you come on an adventure"
"Forfeit two?"
"I'll save it"
~~~
As he walked through the glowing red portal Matt felt very worried indeed. If possible things got worse as they appeared in a small stream.
This place is certainly far more scenic than our last destination, although I found Tifa there… poor Tifa and poor Matt. Instead I'm stuck god knows where with my hyper active… friend Davis. Usually this would be a fine excuse to get down to some serious… *cough sex cough* How lame is that I even thought up a cough in my head… Huh a goldfish is attacking Davis.
Indeed with a viscous war cry of 'deen-deen' the giant fish was attacking Davis with the horn on its head, all the while spiting water and shrieking with a high pitched noise. Matt was in half a mind to leave Davis to be mauled but decided against it. The effects of the eggnog making him want to fight something. Walking casually up behind it he delivered a stiff kick to the fish sending it scuttling away. He was in half a mind to use his sense materia ( a memento of Tifa) to see if he had gained a level but dismissed the thought as childish.
"Thanks Matt, you saved me"
"Whate… No problem"
"So lets find some clues"
"Fine but no more walking up to people and asking 'have you seen Christmas'?"
"Okay, we must be dealing with a sick mind here though."
"Nah I believe it wasn't you Davis"
"Huh?"
Little known to Matt and Davis the fight with the fish had attracted attention from the sort of people who would have loved to have stolen Christmas, Thanksgiving or Tuesday afternoon for profit.
"Ooh a rare Poke'mon"
"Yes it must have been"
"But it looked just like a human kid"
"Quite Meowth! It wasn't just a blonde kid, it was a rare Pokemon"
"Yes and we'll capture it, right Jessie?"
"Right James"
~~~
A little further down the road Matt and Davis saw a group of people, two boys and what looked like a Digimon investigating a huge pile of presents. Huge didn't do it justice there were enough presents to give to the world. Matt and Davis had found the stolen Christmas gifts.
"Matt, are these the villains?"
"Maybe… Let's call for back up"
Matt typed out a quick e-mail to Izzy and within moments Veemon and Gabumon were stood right in front of them. The miracles of technology were always useful when trying to save the world. Now they could go and confront the present thieves. Davis took the lead adopting his usual tactic of charge in headlong and think later, or possibly not at all.
"Hold evil Christmas thieves! Your time is nigh!"
"Sorry?"
"I said… hold evil Christmas thieves! Your time is nigh"
"Yeah… Anyway Brock how are we going to get Togepi and Misty out?"
"Couldn't we just leave him?"
Davis felt like he was loosing the moment and ordered Veemon to attack the one referred to as Brock.
"Vee-Head Butt!"
The move worked like a charm, the boy was knocked down and out. It was only then that Davis noticed the boy seemed to have no eyes. Davis had savagely beaten a blind man, for a moment he felt a sense of something fairly new, guilt. The other boy, the one wearing a hat spun round looking angry.
"You! What sort of trainer attacks like that! I'll beat you!"
"Ha! No way!"
Aaargh! Again with the exclamation marks! Damn now I'm doing it! Okay calm yourself Matt, what would Tifa think if she saw you like that. Calm and focus, maybe just assaulting total strangers isn't a great plan but we're in now, time to fight.
"Okay kid, 3 on 3 battle, choose!"
"Umm…kid? I'm older than you are. But I choose Veemon, Gabumon and umm… Mattmon!"
"Mattmon? What kind of Pokemon is that?"
"Mattmon, you must be joking"
"It's your forfeit, you have to be Mattmon all day"
"*&^%" I hate him. I hate him so much. Mattmon? Mr. Grumpy? I'm going to kill him, just wish I had some more eggnog.
"Okay, first up Charizard!"
"Okay Veemon- Armor Digivolve to Flamedramon!"
The two fire monsters faced off against each other, Charizard, a huge orange dragon monster seemed to have the edge in terms of power and mobility, but Flamedramon's armor was proving tough to get through. Watching the battle swing back and forth Matt tried to use his materia again. This was his favorite part of the day so far. ---Charizard L52 Hp 102/176 Weak against water Weak against thunder--- Flamedramon therefore was making very little impact, and looked to be tiring.
"Davis! Change him into Raidramon!"
"Right! You heard him- armor digivolve!"
In a flash of light Flamedramon was replaced but Raidramon, taking a fire blast with ease on his armored back Raidramon took aim and delivered a massive blast of thunder. The bolts hit straight and true the flying dragon monster crashed to the ground exhausted by the battle.
"Damn, Charizard return. Go Bulbasaur!"
"Okay go Gabumon, warp digivolve!"
"Umm… Davis… I can't do that…"
"Razor Leaf attack Bulbasaur!"
A fury of leaves erupted from the squat little monster slamming and slicing into Gabumon. The Digimon was knocked off his feet and sent staggering backwards. Bulbasaur followed up with a heavy body slam attack leaving Gabumon breathless.
Idiot! Gabumon can't digivolve for Davis, he's just going to get himself wiped out!
"Finish him! Solar Beam!"
"Bulba-SAUR!"
"Gabumon look out!"
"Gabumon!"
The bulb on the creatures back started to glow as it jumped it into the air, Gabumon, still reeling from the body slam couldn't move out the way in time. He tried to fire his blue blaster to deflect the attack, but it was too strong and the force of the blow knocked out Gabumon.
"I win! I'm a Pokemon Master!"
"Not yet, I still have… Mattmon!"
"Get him Pikachu!"
"Pika-Pika-Chu"
Matt Ishida, a young man who had faced down the dark masters, been attacked by various Digimon, dated, sorry hung around with Davis for three months and done various other dangerous things now faced his greatest challenge to date. A truly evil yellow mouse with the war cry of 'Chu'. He wanted to go home. But now alcohol kicked in and he was ready to fight.
Actually I want more eggnog but I've run out of cherries and its not the same without them. Well let's kick this little punk into touch and save the presents.
"Pikachu, uses double team and baffle him"
"Matt use… umm raging fist of demon fury!"
"Davis he said Pikachu confuse Matt, not Matt's supposed friend confuse Matt"
"Thunderbolt!"
"Pika-CHU!!!"
Without any warning a bolt of thunder dropped from the sky hitting Matt heavily, blow off his feet he was sent crashing to the ground horribly hurt.
Raising himself up on one arm Matt charged at Pikachu, using his superior size he picked up the squirming rodent which promptly bit him on the thumb. Gritting his teeth Matt remembered hours of loosing heavily at Playstation wrestling to TK and that wasn't that different right?
Matt performed what he would later term 'the lone wolf suplex' or as Davis called it dropping the Pikachu on its head. Attempting to go for the sort of submission maneuver TK would defeat him with ten times out of ten Matt locked in a perfect anklelock. Perfect apart from the fact Pikachu managed to deliver another thunderbolt that sent Matt flying again.
--- Matt L12 Hp 12/1265 Weak against Davis doing that really cute smile Weak against thunder ---
--- Pikachu L55 Hp 198/230 Weak against earth. Weak against obvious disguises ---
Great what a time to learn I'm weak against thunder! And I forgot to pack my really obvious disguise. Still I have my eggnog. It seems like such a waste somehow.
"Matt use hit with bottle attack"
"Hey no fair Matt, you can't call your own moves"
"Tough luck dude"
Taking a moment Matt pulled the nearly empty bottle from his bag and delivered a mighty crushing blow to Pikachu, who staggered for a moment before regaining his footing, the little mouse was certainly a tough cookie. Or tough mince pie to put a seasonal spin on the phrase.
"Pikachu, you're in trouble, use Zap Cannon"
"PIKACHU!!!"
A massive discharge of energy flew from the Pokemon towards Matt, there was no time to get out of the way, but luckily the attack missed the target. Breathing a sigh of relief Matt noticed that his adversary was looking tired, now was the time to attack.
"Okay here I go… Super cool heartbreaker attack!"
Taking a running start Matt ran towards the pile of gifts, climbing them nimbly he waved at Davis and then jumped from a stupidly high height onto Pikachu. There was no chance to move, on minute there was a slightly stunned Pokemon, the next a Matt shaped hole filled by a bruised and battered Digi-destined and a flattened Pokemon.
"Yay! Matt! You Did it!"
"…oww"
"You beat me… I'm Ash a Pokemon trainer"
"So that makes me Davis the Pokemon God!"
"…Pokemon God?"
"Shush Mattmon, you did well"
I'm going to kill him. Mattmon is going to use his devastating kick Davis very hard and often in the head move, and then… Damn he's doing the smile thing again.
~~~
It turned out that Ash and his friends had been walking around totally lost and suddenly the pile of gifts had fallen on them and trapped their friends Misty and Togepi underneath. Ash seemed less concerned by that than the fact Davis had beaten him in a Pokemon battle. It was decided that the best thing to do would be just carry all the gifts back to the portal and chuck them through. Matt wondered just whether putting every Christmas gift in the world in the hands of Mimi was really such a great plan, however the tragedy was they didn't have a better plan.
Even with all the Pokemon helping it was still a hell of a task. Three hours later after making no impact at all Izzy e-mailed them to say he could move the portal . Matt mentally added Izzy's name to the list of people he wanted to kill. So far it consisted of Izzy, Davis, Ash, Brock, Barrett, Davis, everyone he had seen today apart from Gabumon and Tifa, and Davis.
Just as the last of the presents vanished and the flattened form of Misty was being revived by her friends a terrifying cry came from the trees.
"Prepare for trouble"
"Make it double"
"Matt, can we do one too?"
"…why not, I've lost the will to live anyway"
"Okay Prepare for random chaos"
"…Make it quick"
"To protect Christmas and good stuff"
"Like kittens"
"Davis!!!"
"…Matt"
"We're Team Davis!"
"…Whatever"
"Hey you said 'whatever'"
"And you said 'Davis!!!' it cancels out"
"…fine"
The two who had attempted the motto emerged from the trees, looking truly shocked. Not only had these upstart strangers sabotaged the Team Rocket Motto, they had done it really badly too. Still when they captured Pikachu and Mattmon those twerps would be laughing on the other side of their stupid little faces.
"We know where lots of rare Pokemon are"
"Okay! Lets go Matt and Davis"
"Alright Ash"
Is it just my imagination or is Davis hitting on Ash… no that wouldn't happen we have a rock solid relationship… Friendship I mean friendship of course. Still if neither of them can tell that it's a trap maybe I should just leave them to fall into it.
No Davis is the one reason the Jun beast leaves me alone, I'd better save him
"Come on Davis, we don't need rare Pokemon, we need Christmas"
"Yeah, lets go home. Bye Ash"
"Bye! I'm going to follow Team Rocket"
With that Davis and Matt stepped once again into the swirling vortex to take them home. They stepped out into the kitchen, only to be confronted by Cody.
~~~
Wielding a Kendo stick he attacked them with all the fury of an angry twelve-year-old. Maybe if Matt and Davis had been asleep and dead he might have won against two bigger and strong people. Davis pulled the stick from his hands and Matt performed his 'Straight arm dragon fang punch' or in Davis speech 'hitting Cody on the nose and making him cry punch'.
"Mwhaa haa! You'll never save Christmas in time Mwhaa!"
With that Cody started crying and by the time Matt had convinced Sora that he hadn't turned to beating small children for fun it was a quarter to midnight on the 22nd of December. Matt and Davis had less than three days to save Christmas. And whoever the villain was, Cody was in league with him, or maybe brainwashed, but more than likely just plain evil.