Oh! Lookie! A Christmas special by me! Read it and be amazed at my lack of
imagination!
Disclaimer: Not mine, wish they were, don't sue.
Warning: ANOTHER silly fic, only this time, its Christmassy!
Snow had fallen all across Middle Earth. Pippin was putting the final bits of tinsel on his Christmas tree.
"Wow! I'm such a brilliant tree decorator person!" He said, grinning to himself. Then an idea popped into his head. So he went to find his friends and tell them.
Pippin found them playing around in the snow. Aragorn was making snow orcs, then drawing his sword and lopping their heads off. Legolas was attempting to make a mirror out of snow, but failing miserably. Sam, Frodo and Merry were having a snowball fight against Gandalf.
"Where's Gimli?" Pippin asked Aragorn, as he stood on the snow-orc's head.
"Meh...try under the snow..."
"Why?"
"He sank" Aragorn replied, piling more snow up.
"Oh...well anyway...Listen up! I have a cunning plan!" Pippin shouted. The fellowship stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him.
"This 'cunning plan' won't have anything with me having to dress as a woman again would it?" Legolas inquired. Pippin raised an eyebrow
"When did you dress as a woman?" Legolas blanched
"Nevermind!" Pippin merely shrugged and told the fellowship his cunning plan. Merry crossed his arms. "That's your cunning plan?"
"I think it stinks!" Boromir stated. All turned to look at the man of Gondor.
"B-Boromir? I thought you were dead!" Aragorn stuttered
"Well I was, until oh-so-many people complained that I was dead." Gandalf, who had not noticed Boromir standing alongside Aragorn, screamed.
"A ghost! Begone!" And he struck Boromir with his stick-I mean staff. Thus Boromir died...again.
"Anyways...I think it's a brilliant idea! Never done before in Middle- Earth!"
"Pippin...if you think that carol singing is a good idea, then your idea of war games must be pin the tail on the orc..."
"It IS though! I managed to get 23 orcs during the War of the Ring" Pippin protested. Aragorn sat down in the snow.
"But if we go 'carol singing' in Middle Earth, the people won't know what we're doing and slam their doors in our faces..." He pointed out. The rest of the party agreed.
"Well then, we'll just have to tell them what we are doing then. Legolas.. ..."
"Hmm? What did you say?" Legolas had been sleeping the whole time. Pippin and Aragorn shared a cruel grin and pounced on Legolas.
"I don't want to!" Legolas argued.
"But Legolas, if you don't hold this sign up, then no-one will give us money!" Merry said. He got an elbow in the ribs.
"Merry! This is not for us! It's for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits!" Frodo said. Gandalf turned to the two hobbits
"Now hang on.I thought it was for Istari's R Us! The home for retired wizards!" Frodo and Gandalf glared at each other. A fight was inevitable.until Legolas stepped in and told them both off for being naughty little fellowship members. Frodo and Gandalf apologised to each other, and then noticed Legolas's outfit. He was wearing red and white striped tights, green shorts, a red hat and a green polo neck.
"Stop laughing at me! And give me my shoes!" Aragorn passed Legolas his shoes, one red and one green, all the while chuckling. As he pulled them on, the elf was talking to himself.
"Stupid costume! Why oh why was mother's side of the family Christmas elves?"
"Do you know Father Christmas?!" Pippin asked
"Me? No, why?"
"Well if you are half Christmas-Elf, then surely you have been introduced to Santa?"
"Hate to burst your bubble Pip, but I have never met the man. My cousin has though." Legolas replied, sitting in the snow next to Aragorn.
"Oh really? And who is your cousin?" Aragorn asked
"Bob" The Fellowship all looked at Legolas with wide eyes. Legolas felt a bit fearful with their eyes upon him. "What?"
"Your cousin is Bob?"
"Yes, I just told you that..."
"Bob the famous elf that rescued Father Christmas from drowning in that vat of eggnog 56 years ago?!"
"Yes..." The fellowship all started talking at once
"Wow! That is brilliant!"
"Can I meet him?"
"Are we there yet?" Legolas was near boiling point now.
"SHUT UP!" The fellowship did as they were told. "I have been on the most dangerous quest of all with you lot, and get no mention in anything at all! Bob on the other hand, gets all the fame! I'm sick of it! Now are we going carol singing or not? I have a schedule to keep!" The elf stomped off, leaving behind a bewildered fellowship.
"D-Did Legolas just throw a hissy fit?" Aragorn asked. Frodo looked up to him.
"Yes. Although tis a rare occurrence" He said, and chased after Legolas. Sam, being Sam, quickly followed, calling "Mr. Frodo! Wait for me!" Merry and Pippin ran behind Sam, leaving Gandalf and Aragorn standing in the snows.
"I'm sure we're missing someone..." Aragorn stated, counting his fingers. "Let's see, there's you, me, the four hobbits, elf-boy...oh dear..."
"What is it Aragorn?" Gandalf asked
"Gimli..." Was all the ranger had to say. It dawned on Gandalf and together they searched the snow for the dwarf.
"... And a happy new year!" The four hobbits sang. The young hobbit lad listening looked at them expectantly.
"More!"
"Oh what? We've just sang all the carols we know!" Pippin complained.
"MORE!!"
"Look here sonny boy, why don't you go and get some money to give to charity?" Sam said.
"MUMMY!!! There are some strange hobbits at the doooooooooooor!" A big hobbit housewife appeared at the door.
"What you doing, scaring my little darling?"
"Pardon me ma'am, but we were carol singing." Frodo said in his most polite voice.
"Carol singing? Whatever for?"
"Well, we are collecting money for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits."
"You are? Well then, I must put something in! Dennis! Go fetch me my purse!" The hobbit lad ran into the kitchen.
"You see, my dear ol' dad is in the Elderly Hobbit Home that benefits from this trust." Dennis handed his mother her purse. She took a £20 from it and put it in the biscuit tin Merry was holding. Thanking her, the four hobbits took off to the next house. Unfortunately for them, the hobbit who lived here was not a nice hobbit and started throwing old boots at them. Making a hasty retreat, they ran back to where they left Legolas, sulking under a tree.
"Legolas! You have to come with us to the next house! We need your support!" Frodo said.
"And your protection..." Pippin mumbled. Legolas stuck his tongue out.
"Please?"
"No!"
"We'll buy you a new mirror for Christmas!" Merry promised.
"Well then, seeing as how you asked so nicely..." Legolas got up and they all went to the biggest house of the lot. They knocked on the door.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"Good King Wenceslas looked out..." They sang all the songs they knew, until the person who opened the door walked back into the house, leaving the door open. Hobbit lass came to take his place.
"Sam! Bless me! I didn't know you could sing!"
"Rosie?!"
"Yes, who else lives here?" Sam looked up at the house. It was indeed Rosie's house.
"I...I um...Donation?" He held the tin out for Rosie to put some money in.
"Come on Sam, we've got a few more houses to do before we can call it a night..." Legolas said, not too happy about carol singing in that outfit. Rosie blinked
"Is that the famous Legolas?" she asked.
"Hnuh?"
"It is! Oh I have heard so much about you! Fighting orcs and squabbling with dwarves..." Legolas blushed.
"Thank you Miss Rosie."
"Merry Christmas Rosie! We must go now, houses to sing at..." Pippin said, and dragged Legolas and Sam away.
Having succeeded in digging Gimli out of the snow, Aragorn and Gandalf turned to find their friends had already gone.
"Huh! Well that's nice! Leaving us to dig out the clumsy dwarf!" Aragorn put his hands on his hips.
"Well Aragorn, lets go to the Rivendell Christmas party without them shall we?"
"Yes alright Gandalf...Coming Gimli?"
"Ok!"
And the three of them headed to Rivendell. Meanwhile, Legolas and chums were having huge amounts of money thrust in their faces to keep Pippin from singing a solo.
"Well chaps, looks like we have done rather well for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits." Legolas said, counting the money.
"Can we go to the Elves Christmas party now? Please?" Sam asked.
"Alright Sam, I've got to drop this off at the Home for Elderly Hobbits, I'll catch you up!" Frodo said, and headed in the opposite direction to the other four.
"Lets go!"
"To infinity and beyond!" Pippin shouted. The other three gave him a funny look.
"What?" Pippin shrugged his shoulders and headed towards Rivendell, alongside his companions.
"Hang on! I have to do something before I go! You carry on!" Sam called over his shoulder as he ran off. The two remaining hobbits and the elf watched him for a minute then carried on.
"Psst, Merry!"
"What Pippin?"
"Who's going to tell Legolas he still has that outfit on?"
"Not me...Are you?"
"Not a chance! I'd like to see everyone's faces when they see him!"
"Hey! Wait for me!" They turned to find Frodo running after them.
"Well at least we can go together." Legolas said.
"Yes...Legolas? Are you wearing that to the party?" Frodo asked, pointing to his outfit.
"What... NO!" Legolas ran off to change. Frodo didn't see Merry and Pippin advancing on him.
"Here you are Rosie, £20, just like what you said. Thanks for doing that. Legolas doesn't like not being recognised." Sam said, handing Rosie a £20 note.
"Thank you Sam. Now, tell me, who is Legolas?"
"Oh he's related to Bob."
"Bob?! Bob the elf who rescued Father Christmas?"
"That's the one."
END
Like? Loathe? Review! Please? And Liz, told you I would update before Christmas! Unlike some people.:P
Disclaimer: Not mine, wish they were, don't sue.
Warning: ANOTHER silly fic, only this time, its Christmassy!
Snow had fallen all across Middle Earth. Pippin was putting the final bits of tinsel on his Christmas tree.
"Wow! I'm such a brilliant tree decorator person!" He said, grinning to himself. Then an idea popped into his head. So he went to find his friends and tell them.
Pippin found them playing around in the snow. Aragorn was making snow orcs, then drawing his sword and lopping their heads off. Legolas was attempting to make a mirror out of snow, but failing miserably. Sam, Frodo and Merry were having a snowball fight against Gandalf.
"Where's Gimli?" Pippin asked Aragorn, as he stood on the snow-orc's head.
"Meh...try under the snow..."
"Why?"
"He sank" Aragorn replied, piling more snow up.
"Oh...well anyway...Listen up! I have a cunning plan!" Pippin shouted. The fellowship stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him.
"This 'cunning plan' won't have anything with me having to dress as a woman again would it?" Legolas inquired. Pippin raised an eyebrow
"When did you dress as a woman?" Legolas blanched
"Nevermind!" Pippin merely shrugged and told the fellowship his cunning plan. Merry crossed his arms. "That's your cunning plan?"
"I think it stinks!" Boromir stated. All turned to look at the man of Gondor.
"B-Boromir? I thought you were dead!" Aragorn stuttered
"Well I was, until oh-so-many people complained that I was dead." Gandalf, who had not noticed Boromir standing alongside Aragorn, screamed.
"A ghost! Begone!" And he struck Boromir with his stick-I mean staff. Thus Boromir died...again.
"Anyways...I think it's a brilliant idea! Never done before in Middle- Earth!"
"Pippin...if you think that carol singing is a good idea, then your idea of war games must be pin the tail on the orc..."
"It IS though! I managed to get 23 orcs during the War of the Ring" Pippin protested. Aragorn sat down in the snow.
"But if we go 'carol singing' in Middle Earth, the people won't know what we're doing and slam their doors in our faces..." He pointed out. The rest of the party agreed.
"Well then, we'll just have to tell them what we are doing then. Legolas.. ..."
"Hmm? What did you say?" Legolas had been sleeping the whole time. Pippin and Aragorn shared a cruel grin and pounced on Legolas.
"I don't want to!" Legolas argued.
"But Legolas, if you don't hold this sign up, then no-one will give us money!" Merry said. He got an elbow in the ribs.
"Merry! This is not for us! It's for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits!" Frodo said. Gandalf turned to the two hobbits
"Now hang on.I thought it was for Istari's R Us! The home for retired wizards!" Frodo and Gandalf glared at each other. A fight was inevitable.until Legolas stepped in and told them both off for being naughty little fellowship members. Frodo and Gandalf apologised to each other, and then noticed Legolas's outfit. He was wearing red and white striped tights, green shorts, a red hat and a green polo neck.
"Stop laughing at me! And give me my shoes!" Aragorn passed Legolas his shoes, one red and one green, all the while chuckling. As he pulled them on, the elf was talking to himself.
"Stupid costume! Why oh why was mother's side of the family Christmas elves?"
"Do you know Father Christmas?!" Pippin asked
"Me? No, why?"
"Well if you are half Christmas-Elf, then surely you have been introduced to Santa?"
"Hate to burst your bubble Pip, but I have never met the man. My cousin has though." Legolas replied, sitting in the snow next to Aragorn.
"Oh really? And who is your cousin?" Aragorn asked
"Bob" The Fellowship all looked at Legolas with wide eyes. Legolas felt a bit fearful with their eyes upon him. "What?"
"Your cousin is Bob?"
"Yes, I just told you that..."
"Bob the famous elf that rescued Father Christmas from drowning in that vat of eggnog 56 years ago?!"
"Yes..." The fellowship all started talking at once
"Wow! That is brilliant!"
"Can I meet him?"
"Are we there yet?" Legolas was near boiling point now.
"SHUT UP!" The fellowship did as they were told. "I have been on the most dangerous quest of all with you lot, and get no mention in anything at all! Bob on the other hand, gets all the fame! I'm sick of it! Now are we going carol singing or not? I have a schedule to keep!" The elf stomped off, leaving behind a bewildered fellowship.
"D-Did Legolas just throw a hissy fit?" Aragorn asked. Frodo looked up to him.
"Yes. Although tis a rare occurrence" He said, and chased after Legolas. Sam, being Sam, quickly followed, calling "Mr. Frodo! Wait for me!" Merry and Pippin ran behind Sam, leaving Gandalf and Aragorn standing in the snows.
"I'm sure we're missing someone..." Aragorn stated, counting his fingers. "Let's see, there's you, me, the four hobbits, elf-boy...oh dear..."
"What is it Aragorn?" Gandalf asked
"Gimli..." Was all the ranger had to say. It dawned on Gandalf and together they searched the snow for the dwarf.
"... And a happy new year!" The four hobbits sang. The young hobbit lad listening looked at them expectantly.
"More!"
"Oh what? We've just sang all the carols we know!" Pippin complained.
"MORE!!"
"Look here sonny boy, why don't you go and get some money to give to charity?" Sam said.
"MUMMY!!! There are some strange hobbits at the doooooooooooor!" A big hobbit housewife appeared at the door.
"What you doing, scaring my little darling?"
"Pardon me ma'am, but we were carol singing." Frodo said in his most polite voice.
"Carol singing? Whatever for?"
"Well, we are collecting money for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits."
"You are? Well then, I must put something in! Dennis! Go fetch me my purse!" The hobbit lad ran into the kitchen.
"You see, my dear ol' dad is in the Elderly Hobbit Home that benefits from this trust." Dennis handed his mother her purse. She took a £20 from it and put it in the biscuit tin Merry was holding. Thanking her, the four hobbits took off to the next house. Unfortunately for them, the hobbit who lived here was not a nice hobbit and started throwing old boots at them. Making a hasty retreat, they ran back to where they left Legolas, sulking under a tree.
"Legolas! You have to come with us to the next house! We need your support!" Frodo said.
"And your protection..." Pippin mumbled. Legolas stuck his tongue out.
"Please?"
"No!"
"We'll buy you a new mirror for Christmas!" Merry promised.
"Well then, seeing as how you asked so nicely..." Legolas got up and they all went to the biggest house of the lot. They knocked on the door.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"Good King Wenceslas looked out..." They sang all the songs they knew, until the person who opened the door walked back into the house, leaving the door open. Hobbit lass came to take his place.
"Sam! Bless me! I didn't know you could sing!"
"Rosie?!"
"Yes, who else lives here?" Sam looked up at the house. It was indeed Rosie's house.
"I...I um...Donation?" He held the tin out for Rosie to put some money in.
"Come on Sam, we've got a few more houses to do before we can call it a night..." Legolas said, not too happy about carol singing in that outfit. Rosie blinked
"Is that the famous Legolas?" she asked.
"Hnuh?"
"It is! Oh I have heard so much about you! Fighting orcs and squabbling with dwarves..." Legolas blushed.
"Thank you Miss Rosie."
"Merry Christmas Rosie! We must go now, houses to sing at..." Pippin said, and dragged Legolas and Sam away.
Having succeeded in digging Gimli out of the snow, Aragorn and Gandalf turned to find their friends had already gone.
"Huh! Well that's nice! Leaving us to dig out the clumsy dwarf!" Aragorn put his hands on his hips.
"Well Aragorn, lets go to the Rivendell Christmas party without them shall we?"
"Yes alright Gandalf...Coming Gimli?"
"Ok!"
And the three of them headed to Rivendell. Meanwhile, Legolas and chums were having huge amounts of money thrust in their faces to keep Pippin from singing a solo.
"Well chaps, looks like we have done rather well for the Hobbit Trust for Elderly Hobbits." Legolas said, counting the money.
"Can we go to the Elves Christmas party now? Please?" Sam asked.
"Alright Sam, I've got to drop this off at the Home for Elderly Hobbits, I'll catch you up!" Frodo said, and headed in the opposite direction to the other four.
"Lets go!"
"To infinity and beyond!" Pippin shouted. The other three gave him a funny look.
"What?" Pippin shrugged his shoulders and headed towards Rivendell, alongside his companions.
"Hang on! I have to do something before I go! You carry on!" Sam called over his shoulder as he ran off. The two remaining hobbits and the elf watched him for a minute then carried on.
"Psst, Merry!"
"What Pippin?"
"Who's going to tell Legolas he still has that outfit on?"
"Not me...Are you?"
"Not a chance! I'd like to see everyone's faces when they see him!"
"Hey! Wait for me!" They turned to find Frodo running after them.
"Well at least we can go together." Legolas said.
"Yes...Legolas? Are you wearing that to the party?" Frodo asked, pointing to his outfit.
"What... NO!" Legolas ran off to change. Frodo didn't see Merry and Pippin advancing on him.
"Here you are Rosie, £20, just like what you said. Thanks for doing that. Legolas doesn't like not being recognised." Sam said, handing Rosie a £20 note.
"Thank you Sam. Now, tell me, who is Legolas?"
"Oh he's related to Bob."
"Bob?! Bob the elf who rescued Father Christmas?"
"That's the one."
END
Like? Loathe? Review! Please? And Liz, told you I would update before Christmas! Unlike some people.:P