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Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!

"This is all Lashana's fault," the chimera grumbled sourly. He was currently sitting lotus-style in the centre of a large cage that was dangling over a very deep pit. At the bottom of said pit was a bubbling pool of lava. Needless to say, Zelgadis had had just about enough fun for one day.

What was worse was that he hadn't even had his morning coffee back at the Palace. What did that mean, you ask? Two words : Caffiene withdrawl. Hence the reason that he was now contentedly chewing on a coffee bean he had found in his pocket. Coffee. Sweet, life giving coffee.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Geez, Duncan. Talk about your weak stomachs," Lashana snickered, leaning back against a tree as the immortal finished re-greeting his breakfast behind a nearby bush. "It wasn't that bad."

Deciding not to dignify her comment with an answer, he straightened and staggered over to a small nearby stream, dropping to his knees before scooping water into his cupped hands and drinking his fill.

The Elf grinned and reached up to grasp a low hanging branch, effortlessly pulling herself up onto it so she could reach the peaches she had spotted. "You hungry?" When her question was answered by a low moaning wail, she shrugged and twisted a single peach off the upper branch. "Your loss."

"You're evil," the immortal groaned as she hopped down onto solid ground and took a big bite out of the peach.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"That's because it is!"

"Not really. I mean, think about it. There's different kinds of evil. There's 'destroy the world' evil, 'eat the cat' evil, 'telemarketer' evil, 'destroy the neighbours' evil, and then there's me 'the insane yet bizarrely entertaining evil'," she explained with a grin. "Besides, it could be way worse."

"How?"

"I could have a sister."

Duncan shuddered. "That's....that's just....ugh..."

"There see? Lighten up, smell the coffee...or the roses since there isn't any coffee at the moment. Oh Gods....coffee...."

"Don't you go all withdrawl on me!" Duncan yelped, watching curiously as she reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a tiny pill bottle. "What's that?"

"Caffiene pills," she murmured before swallowing a couple. "I always carry some with me. Saves lots of lives that way."

"Caffiene freak."

"Hey! I am so not as bad as Zelgadis! Oh dear... Zel! He's trapped out here and he hasn't had any coffee!"

"He'll survive! I'm more worried about us!" Duncan yelped as he pointed to the raptor that emerged from the ferns directly behind her.

Lashana smirked, and, without turning around, addressed the new arrival. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to track us down, Dinobot." She took another bite from her peach and chewed quickly before swallowing.

"You knew." It wasn't a question.

"Of course," she smiled as she turned to face him, casually leaning against the tree afterwards. "Especially since he didn't give me much time to fly anywhere," she added as she jerked a thumb in Duncan's direction.

"Gee, thanks. You mind telling me what's going on? Multi-coloured portals, missing people, talking raptors and a....and a....."

She glanced back at the immortal, worried. "Duncan? You okay?"

"...and a...and a...."

Lashana blinked and twisted to look at him fully, following his pointing finger to a familiar figure that was hovering on his board above them. "Yes, Duncan. It's an ape on a hoverboard." Her only answer was a loud thud as the immortal hit the ground in a dead faint. "Lovely.... just lovely.... I am so not carrying him anywhere."

She was almost certain that she heard a muffled chuckle from the raptor behind her, but since her attention was currently centred on the Maximal commander that was landing in front of her, she didn't think now was the time to poke more jokes at the unconscious immortal. Oh well, time to go to work.

"Heyla, Optimus," she said cheerfully, giving him one of her fanged grins before she took another bite out of her peach, smirking at his surprised look. You'd think he never saw a Elf before...

"You seem to know us rather well," he frowned as he approached her, still in his trademarked transmetal beast mode. "You have us at a disadvantage."

"Wouldn't want that," she chuckled as she finished her fruit and tossed the pit near the base of the tree. "My name's Lashana. And that grand unconscious lump over there is Duncan Macleod. Oh, an by the way : you have got to teach the raptor manners. Cuz helpful he ain't."

Optimus looked at her in surprise for a moment, very aware of the glare that Dinobot was sending at her, and even more surprised that she seemed to be completely ignoring the quick to temper raptor. "He told me your story. I'd like to know more."

"To make sure we're not in league with the Preds, right?" She shrugged and tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her right ear. "I'd really rather start actively looking for my friends, but since I'm not going anywhere till Duncan rejoins the land of the conscious....why not? Dinobot stop glaring at me, you're not going to intimidate me with pitiful looks of death."

"Pitiful?!" he snarled. "How dare-"

She growled and rounded on him, an aura of power flickering into existence around her as she glared at him angrily. "I don't have time to take part in this glorified pissing contest with you, so I'll keep this simple : BACK OFF! I am tired, lost, hungry, in dire need of coffee and I have a very large urge to blow something up!"

"Oohh. I have to lay off that prairie oyster soup...."

Okay...that was gross... Lashana slowly turned to look at the newly awakened immortal and frowned. "What did you say?"

"That I have to lay off that prairie oyster soup. Why?" The immortal looked at her horrified expression as he got to his feet and frowned at her curiously. "What?"

"You have no idea what that is....do you?" she whispered, grimacing when he shook his head. A quick glance at the two Maximals told her that while Dinobot obviously knew what it was - she could tell by the rather ill look on his face - Optimus seemed to be as clueless as Duncan. "Oh boy. Um...Dinobot. You want to take this?"

"Not really. No."

"Crap." She took a deep breath to steel herself for what she knew was going to be a trying expirence and turned back to the immortal. "Okay. Duncan.... prairie oysters.... aren't um.... 'oysters' per se...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Deep within the barren lava-filled wasteland and, even deeper still, into the bowels of the Predacon ship, a certain chimera was going through the the worst form of torture known to insanity......caffiene withdrawl. The Preds were suffering from it as well, for it seemed that Zelgadis' form of withdrawl wasn't the listless, depressed kind. No. It was the insane, let's-sing-a-campfire-song kind of withdrawl. And singing he was. Loudly. And off-key.

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch a coconuts! There they are all standin' in a row! Short ones, fat ones, some as big as yer head!"

Megatron grimaced from his private quarters and let out a loud howl of desperation. "By the Inferno! Won't someone shut him up?!?!"

"This is the song that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and now they'll keep singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends...."

"SHUT HIM UP!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"They're WHAT?!?!!?"

THUD! CRASH!

"Well.... that went rather well," Lashana commented to a slightly startled Dinobot as she stared down at the two unconscious forms in front of her. One immortal and one Maximal commander. "What I'd like to know is where the hell Duncan got that soup from....wait. Scratch that. Nevermind. I don't want to know that. I don't want to know."

Dinobot shivered a final time before managing to push the unsettling moment aside. "A wise choice I believe."

She sighed and leaned back against the nearest tree. "'Course now I have to wait for them to wake up before I can go anywhere...." She growled softly and lightly banged her head back against the tree, cursing her stupidity. By the time those two wake up Zel will be in serious withdrawl. And there's no telling where the hell Mewtwo is.... Argh! Gods, but I need a vacation..... And why the hell is he staring at me?! She frowned and glanced over at the silent yet staring raptor, forcing herself not to bare her fangs. "What?"

"What are you? You can't be human..."

"Half-human, if you must know. Though my best half is my Elven side." At his blank look she sighed and mentally recited a chant for inner strength. "Y'know. Elves?"

He shook his head. "I've never heard the term."

"Joy. Okay, look. Extremely condensed version : I'm an Elf. Elves are protectors of nature. Forests especially...at least in my case anyway. We're also big on the Magick business. More towards shamanism than the darker arts.... that's how I flew before."

"And that vortex?"

"Already told you about that. Not my fault if you don't believe me."

Dinobot snarled softly under his breath and shifted his weight slightly, his tail swaying from side to side as he studied her. He was mildly surprised to see that she was staring at him in return, her gaze steady and unafraid. "Supposing that I did believe you. What would you do? Take on the Predacons alone?"

Lashana shrugged and slid her hands into her jean pockets. "Don't see why not. A few fireballs, maybe a lightning blast....no prob."

"You're mad to think that you could be a match for the Predacons!" he snarled at her. "They are not to be underestimated!"

"Neither am I," she pointed out before giving him a fanged grin. Oh, look, he's flinching. Can't imagine why.... She snickered and rose her gaze to the jungle canopy high above, wondering how hard it could be to break through. Only one way to find out. "I'll be right back. RAYWING!"

"What in the Inferno are you doing?!" he yelled after her, growling when she flew through the tree tops and left dozens of branches and twigs to rain down on top of him. "Get back down here! You'll give away our location!!"

"Lighten up!" she called back to him as she hovered above the trees and looked around. Okay. The Pred base should be over there. Ech. That'll be a bitch to travel. I'll have to bring Duncan for another flight.... Another curse from below her made her roll her eyes as she reluctantly complied with the raptors orders to return to the ground. What a grouch. Geez. She landed in front of him and glared. "What the hell is your problem? You don't believe a word I say, you yell at me, growl at me, glare at me, and now you won't even let me take a look around! Have you forgotten the fact that two of my friends are still missing?!"

"Ugh....what's all the yelling about?"

She glanced back at a dazed Duncan and sighed. "About time you return to the land of the conscious. You think you're up to another flight?"

He groaned and clutched at his stomach. "I don't know if I want to scream or retch."

"I'll take that as a 'no' then." Another sigh escaped her as she walked over to him and gently pulled him to his feet. "Can you walk? I have to get away from here before I kill someone."

The immortal blinked at her for a moment before looking over at the raptor. "Right." I don't know what's going on, but by the way Lashana's acting....if we don't get out of here soon that raptor's gonna be hanging from his gonads in a tree. "Let's go."

"Where-"

Duncan cut Dinobot's protest off with a glare as Lashana hopped across the small stream and actually wished that he had his katana with him. "Don't you think you've said enough? We didn't ask for your help and we don't need it, especially if all you're going to do is constantly pester us with questions, and then dismiss our answers as lies."

Not waiting for an answer, he turned and used a few dry rocks as stepping stones to join a smiling Lashana on the other side. "What's the smile for?"

"Nothing. C'mon," she said as she headed into the dense jungle. "Hey Duncan?"

"Yeah?"

"Start whistling that Star Wars theme again, will ya?"

He grinned.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you mean they just left?" Optimus frowned. He had just woken up a few moments ago to the sight of Dinobot staring at the jungle across the stream. "What happened?"

"The female - Lashana - and I had....words."

"Prime," came the low grumble. He knew what Dinobot could be like. "Which way did they go?"