Tests?! But we haven't studied yet!!
Full Summary: Well, Lashana & Telca almost got a day off. Too
bad Q had to ruin it by kidnapping them and putting them through numerous
insane tests to see if they're 'worthy' of being Avatars. What's worse
is that they're stuck with the most psychotic batch of males possible :
Joyrock, Venom, Skie and Inuyasha. Can things possibly get any worse?
We were this close to having a day off.....
"Ahhhh! This, is the life!" Grinning widely, Lashana Inferno closed her eyes and stretched, relaxing afterwards as she lay back on the lawn chair and merely listened to the sound of the wind playing with the leaves of the trees. It had been weeks since she had managed to get some time to herself. Between the Harem, Tvashtar's constant nagging that she should be training, the various Challengers that had come her way and guests that just seemed to drop in, things had been rather hectic lately.
But today, today was her day. She had made that quite clear to the Harem. Even Xellos had agreed to leave her alone today - which was a miracle all in itself. A chuckle escaped her as she rose her arms to lace her fingers behind her head, opening her eyes to blink up at the sky from behind her sunglasses, remembering the expressions on some of the Guys faces when she had exclaimed that they'd leave her alone today or have to cater to Xellos every whim for a week. She made it quite clear that she did mean his every whim.
So here she was, sprawled out on a lawn chair like some contented cat, clothed in only a conservative two-piece bathing suit and sunning herself while a glass of iced tea sat next to her chair. This is lovely. If every day was like this I'd swear I'd died and gone to Heaven...
"You look way too comfortable."
Lashana smirked and turned her head to look at Telca as her friend lay a towel onto the second lawn chair then lay down on it. "Come to bask in the wonderousness of not being constantly pestered?"
"Hmm. Considering that the entire Harem is afraid of you right now, I figured the best place to relax would be where ever you were," Telca said as she adjusted the straps on her her black two-piece swim suit, looking over at the Elf when she was finished. "Is there such a word as 'wonderousness'?"
"If there wasn't before, there is now."
"Point." Smiling, the Avatar of Gaia lay back and closed her eyes, feeling her tension just melt away as she basked, letting the sun warm her. "This is nice."
"Very nice."
"Almost too nice."
"Why?"
"Because it means that something's gonna happen to muck it up."
"Not unless it wants to get Giga Slaved," Lashana muttered sourly, fangs bared in a silent snarl. "This is the first time we're gotten to relax in over a month. We deserve it."
"Very true. Death to all who endanger our relaxing day?"
"Hai."
"Excellent."
Lashana felt a shiver travel down her spine. "If you imitate Mr. Burns from the Simpsons again, I'm going to have to hurt you."
Snickering, Telca pulled her sunglasses out of a portal and slipped them on. "Funsucker."
I'm curious. When you say that, exactly what part do you consider 'fun'?
"What the hell?!" Lashana bolted upright and looked around, pushing her sunglasses up onto the top of her head as she tried to find the source of the voice. That's not one of our guys... but why does it sound familiar?
Growling under her breath, Telca got to her feet and planted her fists on her hips. "Who are you? And what the hell do you want?"
Me? I think the little Avatar of L-Sama's close to figuring it out, aren't you?
Eyes narrowed, the Elf stood and folded her arms over her chest. "Q. What are you doing here you baka? Shouldn't you be off annoying Picard or something?"
Telca blinked turned her gaze towards the brief flash of light behind them, frowning when she saw a male stretched out on her chair dressed in a pair of swimming trunks and drinking a margarita. "Ugh. It's you. Now I'm going to have to burn that towel."
"Aw, you wound me, my dear. After all, I merely came to spend time with the two newest Avatars. The two most important ones in the Universe. Doesn't that count for anything?"
"No." Lashana grimaced and snatched her drink. "I'll be inside."
"Oh, I think you might want to stay around," Q smiled as he appeared directly in front of her. "After all, this concerns you as well."
"Well take a memo. I. Don't. Care."
"Oh, you but you should. After all, you can't pass the tests if you don't care."
"Tests?" Telca frowned. "What tests?"
"The ones I'm going to put you through of course!" With a snap of his fingers, he was beside Telca, wearing his trademarked Federation uniform. "You see, you two aren't quite living up to the standards. You're Avatars, you're supposed to look down upon the little people, not live with them. I mean really, what are your Gods thinking, letting you live with those... things."
"Watch your mouth," Lashana snarled, her aura flaring up slightly. "That's our family you're talkin' about."
"Oh, yes, your family. Honestly, what ever happened to Avatars who lived like hermits and only ventured out to wreck havoc and vengeance?"
"They grew a brain?"
Q frowned and looked at Lashana, receiving a nasty glare in return. "You're not being very hospitable. Well, not that that's surprising. You mortals always seem to have trouble treating your betters with respect."
"Our betters? Our betters?! You are not our better," Telca growled as she stalked forward until she was right in Q's face. "L-Sama and Gaia, they are our betters, and even then, at least they don't have egos the size of Jupiter! You're a pest, Q. A pest, pure and simple. You ran out of original ideas a long time ago, and then started tormenting other people just so you could get your kicks. Well guess what, baka? Lashana and aren't taking any part in this retarded charade of yours! Now, go away!"
Chuckling slightly, Lashana put her sunglasses back on and followed a fuming Telca back to the Palace. "Arigato, Q no Baka."
"Hmpft." Q scowled at the retreating Avatars and folded his arms over his chest. "They've obviously been spending too much time with Gaia and L-Sama, they're starting to sound just like them."
~*~
"A perfectly good relaxing morning, and that freak had to ruin it!" Telca ranted as she stomped around the kitchen while fixing herself a sandwich. "'Our better'. Ha! If he doesn't have a case of testosterone poisoning, then Xellos is a gentleman!"
Lashana rolled her eyes as she listened to her friend vent and idly munched on some barbeque chips. They had both changed into their more usual outfits before coming here, and she was glad of the comfort that her favourite faded blue jeans, navy blue sportsbra and light blue tank top that read 'don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies'. Telca had done the same, having changed into black jeans and a grey t-shirt that read 'don't start with me, you will not win'.
Truthfully, she was slightly curious as to why Q had suddenly taken such an interest in them. After all, the most attention they had gotten after becoming Avatars were the Challengers, and none of them had been anything close to an actual challenge...
::Elfy?::
Heyla, Kalamadea. Smiling, she turned and rose her right arm, letting the small peacock-hued dragon land on her elbow. "Where've you been all morning, hmm?"
"You'd better not have been tormenting my cat again," Telca warned, shaking a mustard covered knife at the dragon. "Else I'll have to glue you to Xellos."
::I fear you not, Battleaxe.::
Telca frowned and looked at Lashana, who shrugged.
"It's not my fault they've been picking things up from the Guys," she protested, hearing Kalamdea's soft snicker in her thoughts as he climbed up her arm until he was perched on her shoulder.
"Hmpft." Not completely believing the Elf, Telca turned back to making her sandwich, reaching for the package of roasted turkey meat and blinking when she touched a furry body instead. "Mischief!" Her anger at Q fading, she grinned and swept her cat into her arms, hugging her gently and feeling herself relax when Mischief started purring. "Kitty want some food, hmm?"
Ugh. That's enough to make me want to hurl, Lashana thought to Kalamadea as Telca gushed over her cat, hearing her dragon's answering grumble. So, what's up? Everything okay?
::You worry too much,:: he told her as he extended his right wing and rose his hind leg to scratch at a spot near his shoulder. ::Besides, you'd know if something was wrong.::
True. But I still like to ask.
He chuckled in her mind and moved to curl himself around the back of her neck, his tail winding around her throat like a iridescent necklace as he hid himself in her hair. ::Hmm. Something's bothering you though.::
Nothing major, littling. Just some wacko that showed up while Telca and I were trying to relax. She reached out and plucked another chip from the bowl, quirking an eyebrow when she saw that Mischief had copied Kalamadea and was curled around Telca's shoulders, much to the burgundy haired Avatar's delight. I just wanted one day to relax. Why is that so hard?
::Because fate enjoys being sadistic?::
You're not helping.
Crooning, he rose his head and rubbed his cheek against hers. ::Sorry. You asked.::
I know.
"This is disgusting."
Startled, both Avatar's spun and glared at Q as he appeared at the island counter, sitting next to Lashana, who yelped and leapt away.
"You're Avatars! What are you doing with those.... those...."
"If anything derogatory comes out of your mouth, I will personally make your visit here a painful one," Telca snarled, her eyes turning amber as Mischief hissed from her shoulder.
Q rolled his eyes. "You're Avatars, not Gods."
"Maybe. But if I let the Chaos take over, I'm pretty sure that you'd have trouble dealing with a Mazoku Highlord," Lashana growled, hearing Kalamadea echo her growl with one of his own.
"True. But you'd have to catch me first," he smirked, eliciting angry glares from them in response. "Now really, ladies, that's not very becoming. Now come along, time's wasting!"
There was a flash of light, and Lashana was forced to blink numerous times before her vision recovered, treating her to a sight that she wouldn't soon forget. She and Telca were standing in the middle of what seemed to be a desert, only things were... warped. The sand was a dark purple, the sky was light pastel green and the sun - at least that's what she thought it was - was a bright red.
Telca took in the view at the same time the Elf did, then rounded on Q. "Send us back!"
"No can do, my dear Avatar. You see, the Continuum is getting slightly... disturbed, by your seeming lack of knowledge on how to act like true Avatars. Truthfully, having you two as Avatars of Life and Chaos has thrown a monkey wrench into the workings of the Universe. So I'm here to test you, to see if you're really worthy of being Avatars."
"Does L-Sama know about this?" Lashana frowned, feeling Kalamadea's reassuring weight still present on her shoulders as the dragon hid himself in her hair. "Or Gaia?"
"Sadly, no. I seem to have forgotten to tell them," Q smiled, turning serious mere seconds later. "Here are the rules. First, no transforming. Second, the two of you combined are only allowed to weave fifteen spells a day. Use them up and you have to wait for the next day to come around. Third, the more tests you manage to pass, the more points you gain and the more chances you have that I'll become impressed and let you have a little help."
"WHAT?! You bastard! Are you out of your mind?!" Telca raised a fist and readied herself to punch Q square in the face, screaming in rage when he merely vanished. "Bastard!!!"
Now now, Milady, don't get all riled up. It's quite simple. You pass my tests to my satisfaction, and I'll send you home.
Lashana bared her fangs in a snarl as Q's voice echoed around him. "And if we refuse?"
Then you forfeit the game and you die.... and so does your precious 'family'.
The two Avatar's exchanged panicked looks, then frowned.
"Alright," Telca spat. "What do we do first?"
Survive.
Still frowning, Lashana turned in a circle to survey where they were and sighed. "Middle of a desert, no water, no transportation, no shade. Ugh. Survive indeed. Telca? Er.... Telca?"
The Avatar twitched, her hands fisted at her sides. "That.... that..... Godsbedamned retarded bastard of a--"
Lashana smirked as Telca continued, her terminology growing more inventive and insulting as she went. She only interrupted to add a few colourful ideas whenever her friend seemed to hit a verbal block, listening with total agreement as Telca started up again.
Kalamadea, used to these outbursts, slowly peeked out from the shelter of the Elf's hair and nudged her cheek. ::Where are we?:: His question seemed to remind the Avatars that there were more pressing matters than their rage filled screaming, and he blinked as Telca fell silent. ::Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt the rantfest.::
Telca frowned and reached up to bury her fingers in Mischief's fur, taking comfort in the fact that her beloved cat was still with her and alright as she looked around them, seemingly taking in the landscape for the first time. "I...have no idea."
"Well, we can't stay here," Lashana murmured, shielding her eyes with a hand as she looked up at the sky. "Funky landscape notwithstanding, this is still a desert, we'll die of heat if we stay here."
"Where else is there?"
Curious, the dragon uncurled his tail from around Lashana's throat and climbed up until he was sitting on the top of her head, staring at the horizon for a moment before pointing to something in the distance with a claw. ::There's trees.::
"A forest? Well, that'll have to do," Telca sighed, exchanging glances with Lashana before leading the way. "Shall we curse at the bakayaro while we walk?"
"Yes," Lashana smiled as Kalamadea returned to her shoulders, hiding
in under her hair again, "lets."