"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

                                                               --Selena Night

Special Guests: The Muffinman Chapter 3: Muffin Wars

            Harry and the rest of his friends, (except for Hermione and Kat) were sitting in Manda's cheese palace, in the land of cheese. They had been given some kind of cheese tea that they were gulping down to their hearts' delight. It was Katy that saw a profound sadness in the queen's eyes.

"What's the matter, your highness?"

"Oh, it's nothing, dear."

"That be a lie." Implied Monica, before sipping more tea, not taking her eyes off the queen.

"Well… it's just that cheese is becoming less popular. It's all those teenagers and their coffee shops."

"Coffee?! Overrule cheese?! Never! The all mighty cheese will always be better then.. then… Coffee!" Shouted Christine, slightly spilling some tea. Rom uttered small whimpers, before diving behind the couch, muttering about flying pigs and underwater airplanes. Everyone ignored him, since it was usually Kat that calmed him down.

"Heavens no! Not coffee… worse……..muffins."

"Yummy…." The queen scolded at Christine for saying such a thing.

"Is there a muffin world?" Asked Harry.

"At first, we thought only in legends, but it's real alright…."

"Who's running it?"

"My arch enemy…. The Muffinman."

"Ahhh!!! He's found me!" Katy shouted before running out of the room, out into the gardens, and into the cheese maze.

"Poor deary, I see she's already encountered his evil…"

"Yes, he's our enemy too…" Muttered Monica, now staring out of the window into the beauty that was a land of solid cheese.

"There is a war coming, a terrible war between this world and that."

"We'll help you in anyway we can, my queen." Said Monica. She glanced at Harry and saw him picking his nose. Both the queen and herself gave him scolding looks that made him stop and say, " Those muffins will die!" Their faces brightened with his fake enthusiasm.

            Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, Kat was approaching Hermione, whom was still sitting under a tree.

"Hermione… what were you doing last night?"

"I was in bed trying to get to sleep." She said, trying to ignore Kat's look.

"No you weren't, you were coming back from somewhere."

"What gives you that idea?"

"Katy told me she saw the chocolate fairy last night, and whenever that happens it's you."

"Great… look… this is a bit embarrassing and hard to explain…"

"Oh, come on! You can trust me!"

"I was seeing if my boobs had gotten smaller…"

"Oh, hunny, you don't have to worry about that! I'm sure they're the same size they've always been!"

"I hope you're right…" She turned back, since what she had told Kat was a lie.

            At the exact same moment, troops of muffins were invading the land of cheese. Among them were cute bunnies, marshmallows, cookies, and … coffee.

"Oh, the horror of those bunnies…" Muttered Katy from the cheese maze, "I've gotta warn the others, this could get dangerous…" She ran back up to the castle and straight into the room where the others were, "We're under attack!" The queen and Monica ran to the window in distress and saw the Muffinman's armies, him nowhere in sight.

"Warn the cheese armies, Harry!" Barked Monica. Harry glanced up, his mouth full of cheese, looking completely puzzled. She yelled again and he darted out of the room.

"Umm… Monica? Where's Adele?" Asked Christine, just realizing her friend was missing.

"Oh! Adele! Where are you?! Excuse me my queen, I have to look for her…" She ran right out of the room and Manda and Christine shared a glance before running to the front of the palace themselves.

            Monica found Harry and Adele in the armies barracks eating the cheese soldiers. She yelled at them about not eating cheese without milk and then dragged them off to where the queen and Christine were standing.

"I've notified the soldiers and they're gonna attack soon." Monica reported.

"Ok, Monica, now where's Ron?" Asked Christine.

"I'll get him!" Shouted Harry, before running back up to the castle. A few moments later the troops of cheese started running out and attacking their opponent. The bunnies were the first to go down, which made Monica really happy not to have to see their faces.

"What's taking Harry so long?" Asked a worried queen.

"I'll go see." Offered Monica. She walked up to the place and back into the room Ron was seen last. What she saw made her sick: Harry was biting Ron.

"Harry! What are you doing?!"

"Eating cheese…" She yanked Ron away from his grasp and said, " Ron is not cheese!"

"But everything is cheese!"

"No! Everything is not cheese!"

"Oh… I need milk now…" He went back to the cheese rainbow, and into his own world. Kat was sitting on a rock near the shore and Hermione was still under the same tree. He stopped, puzzled, before running into the kitchens.

"The coffee's weakening the cheese!" Shouted Manda, back in the world of cheese.

"We need help! We must kill the Muffinman!" Shouted Monica.

"Me? Why?" Came a man's voice from behind her: The Muffinman.

"Uh!!! You!" She yelled. Before pouncing him. At that moment Harry appeared next to them, with a glass of milk in his hands.

"Die! Die! Die!" Were Monica's shouts.

"Milk! I want milk! I'm thirsty!" Shouted Adele. She snatched at the glass in Harry's hand and it fell right on the Muffinman.

"Oh no! Milk!" He shouted.

"Haha! DIE!" Yelled Monica. She started chewing at him and within a matter of minutes all that was left were a few miniscule crumbs.

"Oh my god! Thank you!" Said the cheese queen as the Muffinman's armies retreated. "In gratitude I give you the cheese rainbow! Now get out of my world! Those 3 are eating it!" She pointed at Harry, Christine, and Adele, whom were eating at the ground. Monica yanked them away in one pull.

"Say, where's Katy?" Asked Adele. Monica looked at the battlefield and saw her friend eating one of the cookie soldiers.

"Katy! Get over' ere! We're leaving and you'll spoil your appetite like that!"

"Ok!" Came her reply. She picked up the struggling cookie and carried him back to her friends. The queen said goodbye to them one last time as she closed the entrance into the world of cheese. All that was left was their gift of the cheese rainbow.

             They walked back down to Kat and Hermione, when Harry noticed he had a mixture of cheese, coffee, and marshmallow on his shirt. He yanked it off and merely glared. Hermione saw it and said," I'm hungry, can I have that?" He looked surprised before handing it over and walking back to the castle with Christine, Adele, Katy, and a proud Monica.

"Eww… that's disgusting." Said Kat from her rock. Hermione bit into it and said, " No I's not!"

"You'd have usually burned that by now. Tell me what you're hiding!" Hermione instantly stopped chewing. She gulped what she had in her mouth and said, "I wasn't checking my breasts at all… I-I… I was taking a pregnancy test…"

"Oh my god! What did you get?"

"Positive. It turns out my period came a tad bit early this month." She looked away

from Kat's horror stricken face.

"Do you have any idea who's the father?"

"No. All I know is that I'm pregnant…" The sun set as she said this casting shadow everywhere. And that was it, her secret was out.

Special Note from the Muffinman: Hey Kids! Don't trying getting eaten at home! I'm a strict professional!

Special note from Adele: Never eat that much cheese! * barfs *

Chapter 4: Brainshare