In case anyone's interested, this chapter is based in the dimension
of the 'Demolition Man' movie. *shrugs* What can I say, Telca an I think
the movie's funny.
Chapter 7 : If this is civilization in the future, we were better
off with the pygmies
"Well, this is certainly better than the desert," Telca smiled as she looked around at the tall buildings around them, glad to once again be in civilization. "Let's hijack a truck and go shopping or something. I really need some fresh clothes and a shower."
"W-what is this place?" Skie hissed, eyes wide as he looked at their surroundings, his claws tightening on the Elf's shoulders.
Lashana frowned and glanced at him, surprised at the waver in his voice. "It's a city. It's what the cities look like in our dimension," she told him gently. "I'd imagine that in a few millennia, Krynn may have something akin to this. Maybe."
::Oh I hope we can get something to eat,:: Kalamadea muttered as he spread his wings a little. ::I'm starving!::
"Don't look at me," Skie grumbled. "I didn't find anything on my hunt last night. Though eating one of you did occur to me."
"Lovely." Telca turned away from the group and peeked around the corner of a building, her eyes widening as she stared at the cars that drove by. "Sweet flamin'... Lashana! Come see!"
"Eh?" The Elf walked over to her and followed her gaze, paling slightly. "Oh Lords... this... this isn't any dimension we've been to before!" Panicked, she studied the Palm Pilot again and frowned. "Says here it's the year twenty-thirty-two. The new city of San Angeles is made up of what used to be Los Angeles and a few surrounding cities. It's a non-violent community..."
"Non violent?" Joyrock frowned and looked at her. "Where's the fun in that?"
"We're out of a job now!" Eddie groused as the symbiote quickly shifted from it's battle look to a more conservative outfit of boots, black jeans and a white dress shirt.
"You also happen to be the most psychotic people around here too," Telca pointed out gleefully. "So now you're the criminals. Does that mean you have to beat yourself up, Eddie?"
"Telca, stop tormenting him," Lashana murmured as she looked through the sparse information that Q had given them. Hmm, says here we have to find...three seashells? The hell? She blinked and glanced in the other's direction, frowning. "Eddie? Where's the diamond?"
"We assume that Q took it," he shrugged. "It vanished as soon as we arrived here."
"Well, at least we don't have to lug the stuff around," Telca sighed, returning her attention to the other guys who were watching the nearby traffic. Their little group seemed to be in what could pass as a small park. And while she did think this world was a little nuts, she had to give it brownie points for trying to conserve green space. "So, Elfy, what are we looking for?"
"Three seashells."
"You have got to be joking."
"No. Look." She handed the Palm Pilot to Telca, then reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Oh Lords, I need a cup of coffee..."
::And a band-aid, that cut's deep,:: Kalamadea murmured to her as he tore a piece of her sleeve off and held it against the bleeding cut on her cheek, crooning worriedly when she winced in pain. ::Sorry.::
"S'okay." Sighing, she looked over at Telca. "Can we crash for a while first? I'm running ragged here, and a bit of sleep on an actual bed and a shower would really do me a ton of good."
"Yeah. Me too," Telca agreed, relocating Mischief to the crook of her left arm before rubbing at the tense muscles in the back of her neck. "Okay, plan. Find a hotel, sleep, wash, eat something, get caffeine into the Elf before she goes insane..."
"I thought she already was insane," Inuyasha frowned, looking at Telca curiously.
"She is but you're a pain so sit..."
WHAM!
"Then after we do all that, we can hunt for those stupid seashells and get out of here," Telca finished without even missing a beat, sparing a glance at the twitching Inuyasha for a moment before grinning at Lashana. "Sound good?"
"Very."
"Um...question?" Joyrock met the gazes of the two females as they turned to look at him, then jerked a thumb in the direction of the street. "Ignoring the fact that I have no idea what those are... how exactly are you going to explain me? There aren't any other Mazoku here. And what's worse, there's nothing to feed on either! No anger, no fear.... nothing!"
Telca sighed. "Just go back to your carryable form and leave the rest to us. At least Eddie and Inuyasha can pass as humans, the only things we have to worry about now is the two dragons."
"We could follow from the air," Skie rumbled, sharing a glance with Kalamadea. "I'd certainly be able to get a better view of this 'city'."
"No. Bad idea that. You don't know your way around, and we can't risk getting separated in a place like this, there's no telling what these people are like."
Rolling her eyes, Telca held her cat a bit tighter and strolled out into the open. "Lashana. They're non-violent. How much trouble could they be?"
~*~
"This so cannot be a hotel," Lashana breathed as Telca led them into a huge building. The lobby itself looked so immaculate, so expensive, that she doubted they could even afford to breathe the air without going broke. "Telca! We can't afford this!"
"Sure we can!"
Eddie frowned and glanced at the burgundy haired sorceress. "You actually have money with you?"
"Er... maybe...."
"Then how are we supposed to get any food?!" Inuyasha snarled, annoyed that he was forced to lie his ears flat against his skull for his entire stay in this dimension. Truthfully, it was giving him a headache and making him cranky.
"I'm pretty sure I could just steal money out of someone's purse," Joyrock whispered to Lashana from where he was hiding in her hair.
::Ack! Lashana! Someone's coming our way!:: Kalamadea yelped into her thoughts, hearing Skie's agreeing hiss of warning moment's later.
"Eh?" Blinking, the Elf turned towards what was probably the hotel manager and quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the robes he was wearing. Oy, fashion's gone straight down the crapper I see.
The man stopped a good two meters away from them and glanced from the two white-haired people to the tall woman that seemed to be in charge. "Mellow greetings. What seems to be your boggle?"
"Our 'boggle'? Um..." Telca glanced at Lashana, who shrugged. "We...need a room?"
"A domicile? Ah, certainly. This way."
Inuyasha stifled a growl as he followed the group over to a counter, his hand tightening on Tessaiga's hilt as he darted his gaze around them. This place smelled weird. "Elf?"
"Yo." She glanced at him curiously and met his bright amber yellow gaze.
"This place... it smells... fake."
"Yeah well, this isn't some hut in feudal age," she shrugged, glancing over at Telca when her friend pulled three twenties out of her jeans pocket. "Been saving?"
"Hai. Wolvie didn't need his wallet anyway, right?"
Snickering, Lashana nodded in agreement, then looked at the manager, frowning when she saw the look of sheer bafflement on his faces. "What?"
"This..." he reached out and gingerly took one of the twenties, holding it up and examining it. "What is it?"
"Uh, duh. It's money," Telca drawled, resting an elbow on the counter. "Y'know. Moulah? Dough? Bucks?"
Sighing, Eddie turned away from the counter and looked around, feeling his symbiote send a wave of unease into his thoughts when he noticed that they were drawing a fairly large amount of attention. Everyone in the hotel seemed to be staring at them. This can't be good.
"Aw, c'mon, man!" Telca said in exasperation, glaring at the manager in annoyance. "We're tired, sore, hungry, and we need a place to crash for a while! Is this a hotel or isn't it?!"
"It is but..."
"Then give us a fucking room!!"
*beep* "You are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality stature."
Joyrock frowned and peered out of the Elf's hair as he studied the strange silver device that was imbedded into the wall. He could have sword it had just talked. "What the?"
"The 'verbal morality stature'?" Eddie repeated, looking at a similarly confused Lashana.
"I have no clue," she muttered.
The manager frowned at Telca. "Enhance your calm. You know that foul language such as that is illegal and highly rude. Don't force me to call the police."
"Wait, wait." Eddie smothered a chuckle and moved to stand next to a blinking Telca. "You're going to call the cops on us, because she swore? And it's illegal?"
"Oh Lords," Lashana sighed, reaching up to massage her suddenly throbbing temple. "I'd kill for a cup of coffee right now."
Skie hissed softly as the manager paled and ran from them, then looked at the Elf. "I believe that you should have phrased that differently."
"You have got to be shittin' me!" Telca cried, snarling when the computer ejected another ticket and informed her that she was once again in violation of some retarded code. "What is the matter with you people?! Are you all brain-dead?!"
"Um... I think we should go," Inuyasha muttered, eyeing the three strange carriages that pulled up to the front of the building.
"Well, this is new." Lashana looked at the five cops that hesitantly approached them and sighed. She'd be able to scare one of them into fainting just by saying 'boo'. This is pitiful. Simply pitiful. "What the hell do you want?"
*beep* "You are fined one credit for violation of--"
"Oh shut up!!"
One of the cops pulled out a little hand-held computer and looked at it. "Supply suggestions on how to handle multiple maniacs."
"In a firm voice, order maniacs to lie down on the ground and place their hands behind their backs."
The policeman stared at the computer a moment longer, before looking at the group. "L-lie down on the ground, and place your hands behind your backs."
Lashana gaped. "What the fuck?"
*beep* "You are fined--"
::I got it,:: Kalamadea chuckled as he launched a lightning blast at it, frying the computer.
The cop blinked, then looked back at his computer. "Maniacs have replied with a scornful remark."
The computer was silent for a moment, then. "Approach and repeat ultimatum in an even firmer tone of voice. Add the words, 'or else'."
"Screw this," Telca growled as she spotted a window nearby. "C'mon!"
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Eddie called after her as she grabbed a chair and used it to break the window, giving them an escape route out of the building.
"You'd rather spend more time with the Brady bunch cops?"
"Point."
"Well, that was a huge waste of time," Lashana growled as she ran after Telca and Eddie, dimly aware that Inuyasha was right behind her as she vaulted over a parked car and darted around a startled couple. "What now, Telca?"
"Dunno! At least they're not bright enough to come after us!"
Lashana almost agreed with her, at least until she turned a corner and nearly slammed into Eddie. Curious, she peeked between him and Telca and stared at six cop cars, then looked at Telca. "You were saying?"
The other sorceress glared at her, then grabbed the Elf's wrist and bolted back the way they had come, heading down a different street once they reached an intersection. "Oh, just shut the hell up and run."
*beep* "You are fined one credit for--"
Telca snarled as she led the way through a small park and shot a scathing look back at the computer kiosk. "Are those things everywhere?!"
"Probably," Eddie muttered, easily keeping pace with them. "This world may be non-violent, but they're certainly not overly intelligent it seems."
"Oh the good side, you scared those people nearly out of their wits!" Joyrock chuckled, grinning all the while. "It was delicious!"
"You are immensely disgusting," Skie growled at him, swatting at the Mazoku with his tail.
Lashana rolled her eyes and pulled free of Telca's grip, shaking feeling back into her right wrist before following Telca into a strangely clean alleyway, gasping for breath as she took the opportunity to sag against the side of a building. "This sucks."
"No really? I hadn't noticed!" Telca retorted, ignoring the annoyed glare that the Elf sent her as she looked around. "Okay, look, it's not like they're holding bazooka's to our heads, right? Let's just find the seashells and leave."
"Yeah fine. But what seashells?" Inuyasha grumbled. "It's not like we're next to the ocean, baka!"
"Sit!"
WHAM!!
"There. I feel much better now," Telca smiled, grinning when everyone else except for a twitching, facevaulted Inuyasha backed away from her.
"Come out, with your... wait a minute, the computer just went blank... ah! There! Come out, with your hands up!"
::Gee, must be the police,:: Kalamadea snickered as he hopped into Lashana's arms and stared out at the three cars that were blocking the entrance to the alleyway. Rolling his eyes, he looked at the other end of the alley and nearly laughed when he saw that it was completely clear. ::Not too many brains here.::
"Do tell," Lashana muttered as she calmly headed for the other end of the alleyway, inwardly praying that they'd find someplace with food sometime in the very near future. I am so hungry. Gods, I'd even eat... "Taco Bell?"
Telca frowned and looked at the Elf. "What?"
"Taco Bell! C'mon! Food!" She grabbed Telca's arm and bolted for the restaurant, hitting the doors at a full run and grinning at the clerk. "Dude! Give me a burrito!"
"What's a burrito?" Joyrock frowned, looking at an equally baffled Skie before turning his gaze to Kalamadea. "Well?"
::It's food!::
"Oh, like that explains everything..."
Lashana and Telca grinned, completely ignoring the frightened looks on people's faces they impatiently waited for their order, nearly glomping the man who finally brought a large plate out to them...
"What is this?" Telca frowned and poked at what looked like a single nacho chip with a piece of parsley on it.
"It's your order, of course."
Lashana grumbled and looked at the clerk as Mischief reached out a paw from her place in Telca's arms and batted at the parsley. "This isn't food. It's garnish. C'mon, where's the meat?!"
"Meat? Heaven's no! That's illegal!"
The two sorceresses blinked. "It's what?"
"Illegal. Surely you remember. Everything bad for you is illegal. Hence meat, caffeine, contact sports, chocolate, anything spicy..."
Unfortunately, only one word caught the two women's attentions. "Chocolate is illegal?! You people are fucking barbaric!!"
*beep* "You have been fined one credit for violation of the verbal moralities stat--"
WHAM!
Lashana growled and pulled her fist free from the computer. "I hate that machine," she muttered sourly, yelping when Eddie and Inuyasha ran into the restaurant, grabbed both her and Telca and ran back out. "What are you doing?!"
Telca, being herself, was more straightforward than that, and simply whacked Eddie over the head. "Let go! Now!"
"If you'd stop hitting me, you'd notice the twenty police cars behind us!" he yelled, shooting a nasty glare at her as Inuyasha leapt over a parked car, forcing him to scramble to keep up.
"Eh? Oh yeah. Lookit that."
Lashana groaned and banged her head against Inuyasha's shoulder. "All I wanted was a nice bed to sleep in for a few hours, is that so bad?! Is it!?"
"Heeeey! That gives me an idea!" Telca grinned at Lashana and winked. "Sit! Heel!"
WHAM! WHAM!
Eddie growled as he peeled himself off the ground and glared up at the two sorceresses. "Are you insane?!"
"Yes. But that's beside the point," Telca smiled, seeing the twenty cop cars stop nearby, the police hesitantly moving to surround them. "We need rest, and they have a nice quiet cell with cots just waiting for us. And it's free!"
::You're giving up?:: Kalamadea blinked at Telca for a moment, then frowned. ::Who are you and what have you done with Telca?::
"It's either that or we have to keep running for lords know how long. At least this way, we get a bit of rest, a bit of food, and when we're all good to go, we can get Joyrock there to shift us out."
"You know... that actually makes sense," Skie murmured, glancing at Lashana.
"I know. Scary ain't it?"
~*~
"Ahhh! Alright, I admit it. This was a good idea!" Lashana grinned as she shook Joyrock and Skie off of her, then threw herself down onto a cot, stretching out onto her back and sighing happily. "Oooh, not standing up good."
Telca smirked and climbed up onto the top bunk, grinning down at Lashana. "Told ya."
Eddie rolled his eyes and headed for the small side room that they had been told was the bathroom, pausing when he passed the threshold and staring for a good minute before slowly turning and looking at the others. "Um.... I think I found what we're looking for."
::Huh?:: Knowing that Lashana wasn't going to get up for nothing, Kalamadea spread his wings and flew over to Eddie, landing on his shoulder and peering into the bathroom for a moment before deadpanning. ::You two should see this.::
Exchanging curious glances, Lashana and Telca reluctantly got to their feet and shuffled over to the doorway, peering around Eddie and an equally curious Inuyasha to stare at the three perfectly shaped sea shells that were on a small shelf where the toilet paper would normally be.
"Son of a--"
Telca cut Lashana off with a low snarl. "This only proves that Q is a sick and twisted fuck, because this test could have been finished in five fucking minutes!!!"
Joyrock grinned at her scream of rage. "Yum."
"STAY!"
WHAM!