Author's Notes:  * Tensei grins evilly *  Yah, so Musha got a bit slacky with the notes… this is all that she gave me:  "Sorry it took so long to get out and Tensei and Marika-chan ROCK!"

Sooooo  I decided to take it upon myself to remedy this deficiency. So, as usual, I know that you will enjoy this chapter.  Musha did a GREAT job!  ^^v

And finally, this is for Musha: * clears throat * YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!!!!!  HA!

* smiles innocently *  Enjoy!

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Tainted Dream

Chapter Eight

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It's funny the way the world works. People always are lost within their own pathetic lives; hurrying and rushing to get to a place or time that is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It's amusing to see humans as such. An entire species struggling to make a difference in this chaotic world, only to have their efforts shattered by a single person.
That's all that it takes.
An echo of cruel laughter.
A shot from a lifeless gun.
Whispering as unforgiving as ice.
Dead eyes, isolated and gone.
A mechanical scream from a Mobile Suit.
Hiding from the world.
......
.......
Someone tell me....
Please....
What is the problem with running from yourself if reality sucks?
"What am I doing here?" The pen fell with a soft clink from her cold fingers. She stood up and looked away from the paper that held the secrets of her soul, fingertips still resting lightly upon the surface.
In the shadows she could scarcely make out the couch and the sleeping form of Quatre within it, where she had woken up barely an hour before.
What was she doing here? Embracing and accepting the one thing she was trying to run away from? Trying so hard to escape from.
She wasn't strong like Hikari. She couldn't fight fire with fire and clash into the darkness that threatened to consume her, and she couldn't do it kicking and screaming challenges all the while. Hikari was strong enough to do that, to face Quatre again. Hell, she had even done that, forgiving all past transgressions and willingly embarking on the long journey that a healing heart and mending spirit must take.
Hikari was strong enough to do all of that, but she wasn't.
Moonlight poured through the open window, dancing a silent dance as it was carried along by a gentle breeze, which tugged at the curtains lightly.
"I shouldn't be here. I should be anywhere but here!" Her fingertips clenched the paper in a vice grip. "Everything I tried to escape from, every identity I tried to run from, are all here. All of them are with Quatre."
A whimper, an actual forsaken whimper, escaped her rosy lips. Footsteps made scarcely any sound upon the soft carpet as she walked towards the bathroom.
She wasn't like Hikari, not at all. Hikari had been strong enough to fight against the mechanical titans known as Mobile Suits, all the while knowing nothing about who she was, or her past.
And what had she done? What grand events and unselfish acts had Renee done that could even compare to the legend that was Hikari? Nothing. She'd hidden safely in New York. Happily living in her own little bubble. She couldn't be like Hikari. She couldn't even begin to travel the road of a healing heart.
She simply, couldn't.
"It's time to leave." She murmured. The crushed paper fell s into the trashcan as Hikari? Tensei? Renee flicked on the bathroom light.
Turning the water faucet on, she leaned heavily against the porcelain sink and lightly kicked the pipes with her foot. "I shouldn't have come here. Why did Hikari bring me here? Why did Hikari agree to go with Quatre, why...."
She cupped her hands and let the crystal water pool into them. Her wavering reflection peered back at her, brown eyes and blonde hair. "That's all we ever had in common, isn't it? Our reflections." A ghost of a smile passed over her lips before she splashed the icy water against her face.
Reaching over her hand found a towel and she pressed it against her face, as if the water would absorb all of her problems and she could merely wipe them away.
She let the towel fall away from her face so she could study her reflection in the mirror.
And the instant she did, a scream of terror tore forth from her throat.
In some of the larger houses, the more elegantly designed, there are a special kind of mirror. The type that are actually three different mirrors in one, showing a viewer three different angles of his or her self.
That was the kind of mirror that could be found in every bathroom of this hotel, and Quatre's room was no exception.
Three different angles. Three different reflections.
Blonde hair and brown eyes in one. Tensei.
Short black hair and black sunglasses in another. Hikari.
Brown hair and Blue eyes in the final one. Renee.
*************
(This scene was written by Tensei-chan!)
Wufei squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to block out the bright sunlight that poured, unrelenting, through the windows. He just groaned in protest to the sun's rude wake-up call as he did every morning, but instead of following his usual morning routine of getting up out of bed immediately to start the day's business, he just opened his eyes slowly and smiled down at the mass of golden curls that obstructed his view of the clock. The bed creaked only slightly as he leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Musha's cheek, pulling his arms closer around her and burying his face in the crook of her neck, lost in the ocean of her hair that was now free from its constricting elastic. No, time did not matter now.

Wufei just lay there in content and happy silence, remembering the events that led up to this moment. He and Musha went right to the meeting, both of them seemingly unaffected by the day's first kiss. They had been desperately trying to go back to how things were, but soon came to a mutual decision that their' friendship, more like longing and restrained love just wasn't enough. It wasn't until after their silent dinnertime meal that they finally admitted that this was no way to live.

And that was how they ended up here, together, and perfectly happy. True, this one night of passion did not cure every pain, or dry every tear, but it brought with it the promise of strength through companionship. They were together, and there was no doubt in Wufei's mind that this was the woman that he loved. He felt the body in his arms shift and curl closer to his own. Wufei smiled once more, coaxing her to consciousness by tracing little circles on her shoulder with his fingertips.

Musha blinked her eyes open when she felt the tingling sensation on her back and turned around to face her lover, a tired smile resting on her lips. "Good morning, Fei-baka." Her voice was gentle, just barely above a whisper.

With a laugh, Wufei brushed some strands of hair out of her face and kissed her. "I'm still a baka?"

"Mmhmm. But you're my baka." The smile she wore was that of one who was truly happy, and it made Wufei's heart soar to know that he played a part in her happiness.

"Well then, my onna. We should get going. We still have a missing baby to find."

She nodded, extending her hand towards the floor to retrieve whatever clothing of hers was within reach. "Whatever you say, Fei-baka."
******
Quatre actually fell from the couch when the scream reached his ears.
Imagine a sound that is so desperate, so merciless that it can drag someone from the deep recesses of peaceful sleep back into the harsh and cruel reality.
That was this sound.
He shot up out of bed and barged out of the room, barely realizing the fact that Tensei was no longer with him, or in his arms. At the end of his massive hallway a single door stood open, allowing the artificial light to pour into the darkened halls. He frowned and began to slow to a walk. He knew he'd left that light off when he'd gone to bed. "What's going on...TENSEI"
Crumpled in a heap on the floor, one hand grasping the sink tightly and the other laying limp, was Tensei.
"Tensei!" He ran again and stopped in front of her, slowly kneeling to the ground. "Tensei. Are you all right?"
No response.
Then the pain began. A deep feeling in the center of his chest, as if a part of him was being ripped away from him. A part of his, soul? "Tensei, listen to me." His voice remained steady, as if he was saying something as simple as hello or how was the weather. "You must have been sleep-walking. I'll take you to see a doctor in the morning. Here, let me take you back to your room, okay?" He grasped her wrist and gave a light tug, urging her to get up.
She didn't so much as stir. Her hand continued to grasp the sink in a death grip while the other hand still remained limp, as if there was no life left in it. Had she fallen into shock? He'd heard of it happening to people before, the shock occurring hours or even days after the actual incident. Delayed reactions.
Or perhaps, the information had finally registered upon all three aspects of her personalities now, if that's what he chose to believe. But, NO! He shook his head furiously. That couldn't be true! There couldn't be three versions of Tensei now. When she'd told him that, in the coffee house she'd been confused, shocked upon seeing everyone again. "Tensei, come on." He could feel the panic rising within him, bringing with it a sense of pleading to the tones of his steady voice. Why wasn't she moving!? "Lets go back to bed now-"
"My name's not Tensei."
He blinked. Remember the panic that had been growing in him? Well, now picture a volcano erupting. The molten rock spewing everything without reason or regard? Well, that was the panic!
"W-what?"
"My name, is not Tensei." She looked up at him and Quatre, stumbled back, falling from his crouching position onto the floor as he peered back into her dead eyes. He'd seen those eyes before, once before when he'd seen his own reflection when under the influence of the Zero.
"My name is not Tensei." She continued softly, finally letting go of the sink. Her hand limply fell onto the tile floor next to the other one and an ironic sound escaped her lips. "Heh. It's all we ever had in common you know, our reflections. And now, we don't even have that."
"Tensei..." She was starting to scare him now. Those eyes... those were the kind of eyes that could only occur in one of two situations. When something was slipping into the mental consciousness of a humans mind, such as the Zero did, or when someone was loosing their sanity.
"I all ready told you!" Her voice rose, almost screaming. "My name is NOT Tensei! My name is NOT-"
She was interrupted as a couple of strong arms clamped down over her shoulders and a pair of warm lips covered her own. Quatre was kissing her.
A kiss is the ultimate display of emotion, and all of these scarred and tired souls had discovered that a long while ago. A kiss had been strong enough to keep Musha from leaving Wufei, and it had also been strong enough to forgive what had occurred. A kiss had been what had destroyed Hilde's and Duo's relationship and created Duo's and Elizabeth's present, and perhaps future. A kiss had been what had finally caused Trowa to push away Kashoku. A kiss can express anything, where words lack emotion can make up for it in a simple, kiss.
He was convinced. He would make her see who she was, bring her back from the darkness that was threatening to consume her. He would bring her back.... 'Tensei.' He thought quietly, her body stilling within his arms. 'I'll make you remember. I'll bring you back, someway, I promise.'
Suddenly, she tore away from his grasp and stood up, eyes disbelieving. "NO! Quatre, what are you doing!?  NO!"
"Tensei! Listen to me!" He jumped up and once again grasped her shoulders tightly, trying to still her struggling form. "Listen to me Tens-"
"My name IS NOT TENSEI! LET GO OF ME! You love Tensei, not me!"
"You ARE Tensei!" His heart pounded, unused to the sheer amount of emotion that was attacking it. It was forced to beat faster just to stop the poor boy from being overwhelmed. "You are Tensei! I know because if you weren't I wouldn't be feeling this way! I wouldn't have come back to New York only a day after I returned to Sanq otherwise. I wouldn't have given up on Odin's search to come back for you had it been any other way! Listen to what I'm saying Tensei!" He stared straight into her eyes, cupping her chin within his grasp so she had no choice but to look at him, knowing that he himself was getting desperate and frantic, and knowing that that would not help such a dire situation. "I love you. From the first day I met you. I tried, I tried to hard to resist it and send it away from me. I'd condemned so many souls to the darkness and what lies beyond that I deserved the same. But… I can't let you follow in their path! I can't let you go!"
She shut her eyes and wet her lips, her body still trembling slightly from the fear and adrenaline rush. "My name is Renee Williams, a software developer from New York. Tensei Jianio died two years ago in a plane crash." With a strength that surprised even Quatre, she pulled herself from his grasp and stumbled backwards towards the door. "You love Tensei Jianio, and she's dead! You DON'T love me! You can't love someone who's dead!" Her hair flew out around her as she charged out the bathroom door, and out of the hotel room. Quatre didn't move, he just stared after her, where her form had disappeared from his line of view.
"It didn't work. A kiss... not even that could bring her back." Wetness fell onto his face and splattered against the floor. He paid them no heed, for they weren't tears of sorrow, but rather tears of determination.
He wouldn't loose her. Not to the darkness in the world, or the darkness in her spirit. He swore by everything that was true in his life. Even if it took his life, or spirit, to do it.
He would not loose his angel. He would not loose Tensei Jianio.
*************
Rattle.
Silence.
Rattle.
Silence.
Rattle.
Relena let out a dry sob and allowed the baby's toy, her son's rattle, to fall clumsily to the ground. She had no more tears left to shed. She had, nothing.
Rattle.
The discarded toy rolled over and stopped against her foot, the handle pointing to the empty crib that was surrounded in yellow police tape. A crime scene. The bright yellow plastic was to bright, to harsh, to real against the soft blues of the room, against the teddy bears in the corners, and against the morning sunlight pouring through the windows. The yellow police tape, didn't belong here.
Slowly, Relena stood up and, almost as if her feet were moving of their own accord, she walked over to the tape and traced her fingers along the edges of it. "It doesn't belong here. It shouldn't be here. None of this should have happened!" Without another word, she clenched the tape tightly in her fist, and prepared to pull.
She would have succeeded to , had a calloused hand not suddenly clamped down over hers. "What do you think you're doing Relena."
"This doesn't belong in my sons room. It, shouldn't be here."
Hiiro looked away, as if he couldn't make eye contact with his wife. At first, he said nothing, but when he finally spoke, his voice came out cold and emotionless. It came out as the voice of a soldier, and not of a husband. "But it is, and we have to accept it. We can't change the past."
Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock, her mouth running dry. "Hiiro...what..." Her eyes hardened. "How can you say that! That's our son!"
"Our son has been kidnapped."
"And you think I didn't notice that! What are we going to do about it?!"
"You're going to do nothing."
Her eyes widened and she could have sworn her heart stopped. "How could you be, so uncaring?" She couldn't believe she was having this conversation!
He looked at her again, eyes giving no indication as to what he was thinking. "The Earth Sphere needs you right now."
"Hiiro-"
If you go out and do something reckless, then all hope for the future will be lost."
"HIRRO-"
" You'll do nothing. I'll find Odin."
Slap!
He abruptly shut his mouth at stared at her in shock, more out of the shock as to what she had just done, rather then the pain he felt from the action. In his training, he'd been taught to resist pain at extreme levels.
"Hiiro. You can't possibly expect me to just sit here and do nothing!" She shook her head as a nother dry sob escaped her lips. "I couldn't...that's my son out there to. I can't just sit here, and pretend that everything's all right when in reality, nothing is all right." She looked up at h im again with trembling lips. "Hiiro, that's our son. And I love him more than my own life. More then the Earth Sphere itself, and I don't care how selfish that is.
"That's why, that's why I'm going to help in the search. I won't just stand by and allow someone else to do all of the work for me. I refuse to do that. No matter how important that anything else is, I won't do that. I'm a mother and a wife before I am a Pacifist."
Another sob tore forth from her lips, bringing with it fresh tears that she had believed she could no longer shed. Hiiro wrapped his arms around her shaking form and pulled her close. "Relena." He whispered into her ear.
She nodded and placed her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes as a soft sigh escaped her lips.
No more words needed to be said.
********
"Well, I suppose it's better than questioning that convict." Musha flipped through the papers regarding the Odin Yui case, before glancing behind her at Sally Po's closed door. The room that the pair had just come from.
"Of course it is." Wufei grabbed the papers from her and stared down at them. "Anything was better than that weakling."
"You really like using that word don't you?"
His eyes flamed with surprise and he looked up at Musha, before chuckling faintly. Her eyes were twinkling, that meant she was joking.
He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "You're complaining onna?"
Musha rolled her eyes and ran a finger through her tangled hair, a faint smile upon her own lips. "Whatever you say Fei-baka." She took the papers back into her hands from Wufei's and stared at him. "Musha Eien and Wufei Chang, head of the Odin Yui search. Any idea's as to where to begin."
He narrowed his eyes as something flickered in the back of his mind. The man in isolation, hadn't Sally said that he had the ability to control minds? "I have a suspicion..."
"What do you mean."
"Nothing. Come on, let's go."
********
Kashoku skipped happily down the hall of Preventer Headquarters, the package of Thai food under her left arm. Her hair was let loose from it's normal ponytail and was pulled back into a loose braid. It was a new day, and a new day required a new hairstyle. The future held limitless possibilities, and she intended to take all of them for all they were worth.
"If at first you don't succeed, try try again!" A grin spread across her face as she stopped outside of Trowa's office. All right, so he was gay, she could live with that! She didn't even doubt she could, change his mind when it came to that situation. After all, she hadn't gotten to where she was in the Preventers by simply, giving up.
She couldn't let Trowa go, slip away from her like that. Licking her lips, she sighed and leaned against the door, thinking what would surly happen later. He would realize that she was to great a person to pass up, he would declare himself straight, he would propose to her mere days later upon realizing that he couldn't live without her.
And that would be his downfall, pure and as simple as that.
Shaking her head, she simply threw back her head and laughed. Some jobs were to important to fail, and some people were just such fools that these jobs were easy to come by.
"He'll see. I know he will." She rested her hand on the doorknob and quickly pushed open the door. Putting on a sickeningly sweet smile. "Ohhh Tro-kun! I brought us lunch..." She trailed off and opened her eyes.
The scene before her registered upon her mind in mere figments, pieces of images and words that reached her mind among that turmoil that had suddenly erupted.
Trowa.
Arms wrapped around a form with bright red hair.
A head, a WOMAN'S head, resting on his shoulder.
A smile amidst emerald green eyes, and brown hair.
Eyes that were now startled, staring at her in disbelief.
Interrupted.
"No..."
"Kashoku… I..." He trailed off and looked back to the woman behind him. There was nothing more to be said.
"NO! You BASTARD!" The food fell uselessly to the floor and she slammed the door shut. Her feet took on a life of their own as she ran, and ran, and ran.
She'd never really thought, that a heart could actually shatter. It wasn't what one would think though, her heart wasn't broken.
Her heart shattered because the knowledge that registered upon her brain was one fact, pure and simple. She'd failed her job and her mission. She'd FAILED! The first time ever, and it was a damn big one to!
She wanted to hurt something, and hurt it badly! As in maim if not kill it!
'Gay my ass!' Her eyes narrowed as she practically shoved past Musha, who stared at her with surprised eyes, and ran out of the door into the streets. 'Gay, he told me he was gay. And then I find him the next day with his arms wrapped around some red headed slut! Damnit! The Bastard! If I'm fired I swear that he'll pay!
Won't he?'
In the distance, a flock of birds suddenly took to the air, the sound of their wings beating together making it seem as if nature itself was screaming.
The door to her house crashed open and she stepped inside, nearly screaming as she heard the sudden crying fill the air. "Damnit! I DON'T NEED THIS!" She dropped her coat and files in a heap on the floor and walked into the room, fuming so much she nearly set off the fire alarm. "The bastard. How DARE he do that! He had no right to! Even after I was so nice to him, even after I offered him everything. "
Bending down, she scooped up little Odin in her arms and began to rock him back and forth, trying to soothe him when she herself was the one who needed to be soothed. "The bastard." She was well aware that she was getting repetitive, but at the current time, she couldn't have cared less. He was the first ever to actually resist her charm. Every job before that, every male driven hormone idiot had fallen for her advances almost instantly. So what was it about this idiot that had enabled him to resist.
So lost within her fury as she was, that she didn't even pause to consider that it wasn't Trowa who was resisting the standard way that Kashoku did things, but rather that it was herself? Perhaps she didn't want it to happen as it always did, and that's why it wasn't. However, the thoughts were lost within a turmoil of others, and never came to her consciousness.
"I guess I was wrong about him." She sighed down at Odin and placed him back in the make shift crib. "All men are jerks kid. And with those kind of influences around you, you'll no doubt grow up into one as well." She handed him a bottle and turned to the phone. A blinking red light letting her know that she had messages.
'Maybe it's Trowa trying to make up? Humph, well, I won't forgive him! Let the others handle him, he deserves it.
'Doesn't he?'
She pushed the button and sighed before flopping back down into an armchair. Picking up a discarded magazine, she began to flip through the pages as a voice came through the phone.
Kashoku. I know you're probably at work right now, trying to seduce that Gundam Pilot no doubt, as that is generally the way you do things isn't it? A chuckle came through the machine and Kashoku frowned, her head slipping back so she could stare at the ceiling. "Why does she insist on using those words?" The voice continued. Keep Odin hidden. Relena and Hiiro Yui have begun the search, half of the entire Preventer population is out searching for the child even as we speak. Leaving our poor, confused target entirely unprotected.
Poor, confused target. Right, whoever the hell that was.
I'll check in with you later. Don't get suspicious. You do you're part, and we'll do the rest.
"Do my part." A dark scowl passed over her lips. " Maybe if you would actually show your damn face sometimes rather than leave me with all the dirty work." She gestured to Odin, who was happily sucking away at his bottle. She absently realized that she was, indeed shouting at a lifeless machine. And the ironic part was, she didn't care in the slightest. "Then maybe I would do my part a little better! ARGH!"
The machine was abruptly knocked off the table as a pillow crashed into it head on.
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