Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah--this is crap, I'm not writing this no more!! I'm going on a disclaimer strike...Okay, that's a lie, but who cares??
A/N Here's the second chapter....
*¤*.¸¸.·´¨`»*«´¨`·. ¸¸.*¤*
Mr. Grinch
James Vs. Christmas. Will James Potter Finally Get In the Christmas Spirit?
By
Sierra Sitruc
You're a mean one, Mr.
Grinch
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You're a
monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a
foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a
rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!
You
nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!
You're a
foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!
Chapter 2
11 Days Until Christmas
Lily shivered as she walked out of the bathroom, carrying her toiletries she sighed--she'd decided to put the bells in her hair again--just because it was tradition, and a little bit of it might have had to do with the fact, that it annoyed James.
Lily was going about her business, finishing getting ready for the day--she had to hurry if she wanted to say good bye to Olivia before she left on the train home--Olivia was leaving that is. She stopped suddenly as she heard a flutter of wings.
"What?" Lily wondered a loud. She looked up, just in time to see a flash of something--hadn't she gotten rid of the partridge?
Then, she saw them--two turtle doves--she recognized them from a book she'd had that had pictures to the song "The 12 Days of Christmas'
Lily groaned, "Damn, whoever keeps doing this!"
She stomped about trying to catch them, her newly put on scarf getting in the way a lot. She managed to tackle one of the pesky birds, but the other was still about.
If she wasn't having hard enough of a time already--in came James Potter.
"What the devil our you doing?" James said, stunned as he saw the Christmas Red Head, decked in red and green and sprawled across the floor clutching a bird to her chest.
Lily decided to comment on his wording later, and instead said, "Forget asking--help me out! This is bloody insane!"
James took pity on the girl, and did a quick transfiguration charm that put both birds in a cage. Lily was thankful he'd caught sight of the other bird, who'd been hiding on a dresser--trying the unmoving object ploy.
"Now, what the bloody hell are you doing in my dorm Potter!?" Lily was still highly embarrassed about what had happened the day before, and would have preferred not to talk to him, or about it--even think about what had happened. But, this didn't stop her from yelling at him.
"I came to collect you for your dear friend Olivia, who, and I quote said, 'Potter, get your stupid arse up the stairs and get Lily.' Now, if you want to know why she didn't get you herself, it's because she's been--with held, by the ever wonderful Billy Triton." James said sarcastically, and was shocked that Lily squealed and raced out of the room, James shrugged and hurried after. Following the jingling sound.
They came upon Olivia who was--right at the moment, trapped in the hallway under--the mistletoe of all things--with Billy Triton.
"Lily, honestly--."
"No time now James--I have to savor the moment!!" Lily waved to her friend, who had finally gotten the courage to kiss the boy she'd had the biggest crush on for years.
James and several other boys rolled their eyes, but Lily and several other girls awed and squealed.
"Well," James muttered under his breath. "He got luckier then I did under the mistletoe."
James did get lucky though, that Lily didn't hear that comment. Lily turned back to James and said, "I guess it was a good idea you put that up." It was then that James realized that was the exact same one he and Lily had been under the night before.
"I hate Christmas," was all James said, and got a smack from Lily for it.
"That was uncalled for!" She said.
"No, that slap was uncalled for!" James said, holding his arm.
"Oh, like I could hurt you," Lily said, smirking. A few people watched; James and Lily were easily the most entertaining couple to listen to--not that they were a couple--but they still were an interesting pair when they got to together, and their meetings almost always had some funny result--the audience was not disappointed.
"I happened to enjoy it anyway... Much like I would have enjoyed my evening last night--if you had cared to stick around." James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, leaving the small group to wonder what had happened... But when they saw Lily blush, they all pretended to be doing something else for the moment, hoping against hope that something else would be said.
Olivia and Billy just went back to snogging--Lily and James weren't that entertaining.
"I was hoping we would never speak of that again!" Lily said in a loud whisper.
"Oh, well--doesn't mean I can't think about it--again and again..."
Smack!
"Ouch," James said, now rubbing his cheek.
"Miss Evans, kindly refrain from the physical abuse on Mister Potter," Professor McGonagall said nonchalantly as she walked by the scene.
A few people snorted, and Lily turned even redder; James resided to keep rubbing his cheek in pain.
"How did this start again?" James asked exasperatedly.
"You said you hated Christmas," Lily pointed out.
"Ah, yes--still do, by the way."
"Why can't you for once get in the Christmas Spirit! You are such a--gloomy cloud around this time of year. It's depressing!"
"I can't help it!" James said in his defense.
"Sure you can...I'll help you."
James stared, and Sirius laughed while a few others joined in.
"Evans," James said, in a tone of voice that he would use to explain something to a small child. "In case you can't recall--you and I," he slung his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "Don't get along." Lily shivered, and shrugged and stepped away from him.
"Everyone needs to have some sort of Christmas spirit...or they'll become a--a--Scrooge!" Lily stuttered out.
"Stop with the muggle people!" James grumbled, "But I do know who he is at least..."
"Well, whether you like it or not--you are my new project--."
James' face took on the look that said clearly that he thought he was about to be murdered. "NO! No way in bloody hell--."
"Hush! Come on James, I'm not that bad." Lily pouted, the idea of making James like Christmas really appealed to her for some unknown reason.
"Yes, you are."
"Well... I can be if you don't cooperate!" Lily snapped testily.
"Lily Evans, I will not be your pet project!" James shouted, but it was too late...She'd made up her mind, and there was no escape.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Lily began thinking up ways to get James in the Christmas Spirit... There were so many things she did every year with her friends or family for Christmas. She could just do all of those things with him--but that felt like she was including him in her friend/family 'circle'--when they certainly weren't friends--she couldn't stand him and vice versa.
Christmas Caroling... Well, that was out of the question for now--but maybe--Did James even know who Santa Claus was?
A grin crept onto Lily's face, a devilish, elfish, grin, and jumped from her bed, to her trunk, ignoring the singing and dancing candy cane. She opened her trunk, and looked about wildly. She quickly found what she was looking for and grabbed it, then ran down the stairs, where she found James about to play a game of exploding Snap with Sirius and Remus, who stayed behind with James for Christmas.
"James!" Lily yelped, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him over to the fire place, leaving Sirius and Remus to stare.
"WHAT?!" James said as she pushed him to the ground roughly and plopped down beside him.
"I'm reading you a story," Lily answered.
"Wha--"
"Hush," Lily said firmly.
"Okay." James obeyed, too disoriented to argue much.
Lily then pulled out a children's book, sat on her knees and prepared to read the entire thing to James--and showing him pictures.
James looked up at her in awe. "You're seriou--."
"Quiet!" Lily
snapped, then continued. "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through
the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."
"I think Rat," James said impishly, and Sirius and Remus who had listened in, laughed. Lily coughed and it was quiet again.
"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there."
"Who?" All three pure bloods asked.
Lily glared, and it was silent again. "The children were nestled all snug in their bed, While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads, And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap...When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter."
"Robbers."
"Death Eaters." James countered Sirius.
"Did you blunder heads hear? It's St. Nicolas--who ever he is." Remus said smartly.
"Nearly Headless Nick--."
"SHH!" Lily said viciously, and continued to read The Night Before Christmas, by Clement C. Moore.
They managed to get through the rest of the story, with little interruption.
"So.. .A robber came in, took the toys for Christmas, and stuffed their stockings with--something?" James asked, seeing how much he'd gotten of it.
"It's Santa Clause you numskull!" Lily said exasperatedly--this wasn't going as planned. Then she had ANOTHER idea. "Fine, Mr. Grinch--stay here." Lily stomped up her stairs to her dorm, grabbed yet another book and came back down and started reading.
James just stared--he was highly uncomfortable with the whole idea. He couldn't believe he'd even let Lily talk him into this--but--
James hated this. He zoned out like he had the last time--this was the only way he could stay sane--Christmas was pointless, bad things only happened to him on Christmas.
"Inside a snowflake, high atop Mt. Crumpit, just north of town, a certain cave-dwelling curmudgeon peers down on the Christmas-adoring Whos of Whoville as they make their frantic Yuletide preparations. And this isn't your run-of-the-mill sourpuss. This is the Grinch, and he is positively sick of those nog-sucking cheermongers."
"Whoa, that was one too many words I've never heard before." Sirius said, rubbing his temples. Lily ignored the comment and kept reading.
"Why is the Grinch so, well ... so Grinchy? Nobody knows, not even his lone companion, the endlessly oppressed canine, Max. It could be, because his head wasn't screwed on just right; or maybe his shoes were. But with an expression that goes from glum to glummer and then to a malevolent lip-curling grin as a wicked light bulb clicks over his head ... a wonderful, awful idea is born. Christmas is back and the Grinch plans to do something about this annoyingly-happy holiday ... once and for all." Lily read, and James was gone into space...
Lily finished reading, and Remus and Sirius said they liked it--and that it was the perfect James...Those two were much more open about Christmas--blame it on the loving families.
"James? Did you even listen?"
"NO."
Lily looked as though she were about to scream, so James took the time to escape her wrath, by running wildly out of the room, saying something about 'urgent business'.
"Would you guys mind giving me ideas on getting him in the Christmas spirit?" Lily asked Remus and Sirius.
"Nope," they said simultaneously.
"It's down right impossible, he's so hard headed--he doesn't want anything to do with Christmas--all he wants is presents."
"How selfish!" Lily said abruptly.
"Well, can't blame him--I mean, if I was him--." Sirius started to say, but Remus gave him a kick to hush him.
"Fine, don't be any help." Lily grumbled, picking up her books and leaving--thankfully taking her temper with her. Jingling all the way.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Lily decided she was going to have to think of a different way to get him in the Christmas Spirit...and she only had 11 days! Then of course...how was she going to get him to admit it?? She'd just have to trust him to be honest, whether she liked it or not, he was a good person--just not around Christmas time.
She just didn't know what to do...She decided upon going to dinner--oh my, she was trapped with the Marauders this Christmas--she would have gone home... But ever since her Dad passed away shortly after she'd been accepted to Hogwarts, Christmas at home sounded unpleasant--she was lucky that in her first year, her mom hadn't wanted her there...
Lily entered the Great Hall, and sat beside James and all through dinner continually humming Christmas tunes--getting a good deal of weird looks, and a few glares from James. Everyone knew Lily was a bit off around Christmas time, so it's not like she was making much more of an idiot of herself then normal.
She decided that she'd try positively drowning James in Christmas things, and see if it did any good. She'd start tomorrow, and hopefully she wouldn't find Three French Hens sitting at the foot of her bed...
*¤*.¸¸.·´¨`»*«´¨`·. ¸¸.*¤*
A/N I hope that wasn't too bad. PLEASE Review and tell me what you think!! 64 reviews?? Please! Thank You ALL for your reviews! I feel so...Loved. Last night I stayed up all night trying to get my homework done and ended up falling asleep on my desk...Oops. So I didn't go to school today...I woke up at 5pm...Now that was disorienting...Err...Sorry that had nothing to do with the story. Anyway, now I feel awful and you guys cheered me up...Nothing like waking up to 41 reviews...
This chapter was mostly all about Lily trying to make James like Christmas...If you read closely and finish the story, you'll know why James does some of the things he does...Lily too.
Anyway....
Chapter 3
Lily and James build a snow man together and Lily finds something in her room... It's shorter then this chapter. They talk a lot to each other too...Not a very action like chapter...
If we hit 64 reviews I'll post this...Other wise I'll just wait until it hits the mark or wait until I feel like posting.
You reviewers are so GREAT!! :-) I love you ALL so much!! *hugs her reviewers* ...Hope I didn't hurt you there! Um...I'm over excited. Normally, I don't even hug my parents!!
REVIEW!
*~Sierra~*