Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry, Hedwig, Severus (as much as I love him), and everyone else, all belong to JKR and whoever else is in the long list of Harry Potter owners. Tidmag owns the basic plot as he/she (?) gave me the idea for this story. Also, this is another answer for Severitus' challenge. This story has no relation to my other story written partly in answer to Severitus' challenge because there is no Saerry (except for yours truly). I also do not own The Calling or their lyrics.
Summary: Fifth year and Harry finds himself changing. But are they for better or for worse? And what secret lurks behind these changes? A secret only Remus Lupin seems to know.
Warning: Suicide implied in this chapter
These Dreams-Saerry Snape-
* Shouldn't Hold Me Back *
~*~
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
~*~
Harry's POV
I woke up in a bright, warm place. Blinking, I sat up and found myself in the Hospital Wing.
Then I remembered
The knife.
The blood.
The longing for death.
Hermione.
Quickly, I scanned the room but saw no sign of Hermione, or in fact, anyone. Sighing, I leaned back against the pillows, my mind roving over what I should do next.
Snape was my father
I had accepted that.
Bit I hadn't accepted that I was his son.
Turning onto my side, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
~*~
"Hermione, what's wrong with you?"
"Huh?"
Hermione blinked and looked up from her plate at Ginny. She asked, "What did you say, Ginny?"
Ginny frowned and replied, "You've been acting weird since yesterday. What's going on, Hermione?"
Hermione shook her head.
"Nothing."
"But –"
"Its nothing, Ginny."
Hermione grabbed her bag and rose, storming out of the Hall. But instead of going to her first class (DADA), she went outside and sat down in the shade of a large oak. Reaching into her bag, she drew out a thin book. Opening it, she flipped through the sketches, early one's of Hogwarts, the professors (even Snape), and many of the students. No one knew of her drawing habit and she had kept it that way.
Sighing, she flipped on through a hasty Basilisk sketch, several of Ron and Harry, a whole page devoted to sketches of the Goblet of Fire and the dragons from the First Task, and her favorite, one of Draco bouncing from ceiling to floor as a white ferret by Professor Moody. Smiling at the memory, she flipped to her latest sketch.
It was of Harry.
On one side of the paper was a sketch of Harry as he had appeared on Platform 9 ¾, tall with a curtain of dark hair but undoubtly the same Harry. But on the other side of the paper was the image she had seen after she had cast the Veritas spell.
It was almost an exact replica of Severus Snape. Pale skin, sharp, high cheekbones, slightly slanted eyes and thin, arched eyebrows. The only thing that wasn't Snape was the rounded chin, perfectly straight nose, and brilliant green eyes.
That was what Harry really looked like.
Hermione felt tears on her cheeks as she looked at the two sketches. Brushing them away, she closed the book and shoved it back into her bag before rising and heading back up to the castle.
~*~
Harry crept out of the Hospital Wing and hour after he woke up. He stole through the halls, ignoring the fact that Defense Against the Dark Arts had already started.
He hadn't been intending to go to class anyway.
Dodging around a group of first years by taking a passage hidden behind a tapestry, he headed for the Astronomy Tower. He needed peace and quiet.
And he was going to get just that.
Once at the top of the tower, he walked out on the ledge and sat down, his legs dangling over. Looking down, he saw the ground far below, looking like a sea of emeralds. After a long while, or so it seemed, he rose and started to walk back down the staircase. At the door leading back in he paused.
A second later he ran and dove over the edge
~*~
I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
~*~
A/N: More suicidal tendencies. And a cliffie.