Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry, Hedwig, Severus (as much as I love him), and everyone else, all belong to JKR and whoever else is in the long list of Harry Potter owners. Tidmag owns the basic plot as he/she (?) gave me the idea for this story. Also, this is another answer for Severitus' challenge. This story has no relation to my other story written partly in answer to Severitus' challenge because there is no Saerry (except for yours truly). I also do not own Lifehouse or their lyrics.
Summary: Fifth year and Harry finds himself changing. But are they for better or for worse? And what secret lurks behind these changes? A secret only Remus Lupin seems to know.
These Dreams-Saerry Snape-
* See the Consequence *
~*~
The fearful always prey upon your confidence
Did they see the consequence
When they pushed you around
The arrogant build kingdoms made of different one's
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown
~*~
"Severus?"
Dumbledore eased open the door and entered the chaos that was the Potions Master's rooms. Books were scattered across the stone floor along with the remains of a table, two bookshelves, and several chairs. From a door to his left came the sound of shattering glass, followed by a howl of anguish. Dumbledore rushed forward into the room but stopped abruptly just inside the door.
The chaos in this room was even more profound that that in the main room. This was the room Snape used to brew his personal potions and it was normally kept straight and clean. But now the long table that had been in the center of the room was flipped onto its side, its contents shattered on the floor and wall, causing various results. A glass vial full of a murky green liquid suddenly sailed past Dumbledore's head and smashed against the wall, releasing a horrid stench. Dumbledore looked in the direction from which it had come from and saw Snape sitting on the floor, back against the wall, legs tucked up to his chest. His long hair was tangled and even greasier than normal, faint green streaks beginning to show in it. Tears trailed down his pale cheeks and his dark eyes had the same haunted look they had had when Dumbledore had finally managed to get him released from Azkaban fifteen years ago. He threw another vial across the room then looked up at Dumbledore.
"I killed her," he whispered in a hushed, fragile voice.
Dumbledore swept across the room and pulled the younger man into his arms. He knew exactly what Snape was talking about.
"You did what you thought was best, Severus."
Snape cried, "But I still killed her! I send her to Potter, thinking she'd be safe. But she wasn't! AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" He broke down into fresh tears and howls of grief and Dumbledore held him tight. Only once before had the two men been in this position.
And that was the day Lily had died.
Dumbledore suddenly spotted the Pensieve sitting on the floor a few feet away and said, "You looked back, didn't you, Severus?"
Snape nodded numbly, whimpering softly.
"Oh, Severus, poor boy. Why do you do this to yourself?" asked Dumbledore, obviously talking to himself. He then pulled the Potions Master to his feet with a grunt and dragged him out of the lab, through the main room, then into the bedroom on the other side. Easing the younger man into the bed, Dumbledore covered him then found a vial of Dreamless Sleep Potion in a cupboard across the room. After giving it to Snape, he began to straighten the other rooms.
~*~
Snape woke late into the night and found himself in a bed. A warm hand suddenly touched his forehead and he jerked away with a gasp, curling up into a ball, his back to whoever it was. He had one terrifying thought that he had become unconscious during one of Voldemort's torture sessions and was still at the Riddle house. But then a gentle voice he knew well shattered that dark thought.
"Severus?"
Snape only curled tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. A hand slowly ran up and down his back and the voice said, "Severus, boy, look at me."
Snape rolled over reluctantly and looked up into the bright blue eyes of Dumbledore. He shuddered and whispered, "Please. Leave me alone."
"Severus –"
"Albus, please. I – I want to be alone right now."
Dumbledore nodded and rose. As he started to leave, he paused in the doorway and said, "Come to my office when you feel better, Severus."
"I will."
Dumbledore left and Snape rolled back over, his eyes focusing on a portrait hung on the wall. It was one of the few wizard photographs he had of himself and Lily. The two of them stood in the center of the Great Hall, Severus' arm thrown about Lily's shoulders and her own slung around his waist. They had convinced Remus to take the picture. Snape watched as his and Lily's seventeen-year-old selves waved at him then kissed. Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and curled up into a tight ball, the image of himself and Lily imprinted on his eyelids.
~*~
Refuse to feel, anything at all
Refuse to slip
Refuse to fall
Can't be weak
Can't stand still
You watch your back
'Cause no one will
~*~
A/N: *sniff* Poor Sevvie…