An: Here's the end... And in case you haven't guessed, in real life, I was Helga. Hope you won't be disapointed...
~Miss Matched
Near and Far
by Miss Matched
"Helga?" Phoebe asked once she had let her best friend in. Something was wrong, she could sense it. Helga never came over any more, always so busy with Ice Cream. Phoebe didn't want to mention anything about that to her though, could be too messy. She ushered Helga into the kitchen, and began to fix her a warm cup of cocoa. It was too cold a day in November for anyone to be out walking. Helga took a seat.
"No more beating around the bush!" Phoebe announced, placing the steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of Helga. "What's the matter?"
Helga grasped the warm mug with both of her bare hands greedily. She sipped in the warm liquid. "It's nothing. It's probably just me looking too into things..."
Phoebe took a seat. "I'll maim him."
"No, no, Arnold's wonderful... I love him so much!"
"That was never in question." She scooted her chair closer to Helga, "Come on... I can't bare to see you in such a state!"
Helga folded her arms on the fine oak table, then placed her head in them. "Well... I was sitting next to him today... We watched the sunset. It was so beautiful... I looked back over at him while we sat on that bench and saw the last rays disapear into the inky black darkness..." A few tears escaped down her proud face. "And even though I was sitting right next to him, he was a million miles away. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it was like... he was so far away from me, even though he was right there next to me. Like maybe, just maybe he doesn't love me any more." She shook her head, "Near and far... ironic, isn't it?"
Phoebe looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke. "And you feel this... why?"
"Because I don't deserve him." Helga muttered, "I only bring him down." She brought her head up from the table. "I mean, he's so perfect and pure, and he loves everyone. I just don't understand that." Sharply laughing, she continued. "I'm too dependent, I'm stifling his innocent spirit. I crowd him. I suffocate him..."
"And you've talked to him about this?"
Helga sighed, grasping the mug again. She focused in on a chip on it's otherwise spotless enamled surface. "No, no... that'd be something more for me to burden him with." She downed the rest of the hot chocolate, then slammed the cup down onto the table. "CRIMINY! Love isn't supposed to be this hard!"
Phoebe wanted to console her dear friend, but realized there was nothing she could say. She knew nothing of love... only of... well, what was one to call her and Gerald's relationship anyway? Give and take, she mused, her giving and him taking. Instead of saying anything, she just hugged Helga until the hot angry tears dried from her face.
"Trust your heart, Helga." She added as soon as Helga calmed down. "Your head knows the facts, but it's the heart behind the truth that matters. Maybe you can get things sorted out? Or maybe you really are looking too hard into this situation."
Helga nodded stiffly, getting up. Wordlessly, she placed her mug into the sink, and then began to walk out of the house.
"Wait! My mom can give you a ride!"
Opening the door, Helga shot Phoebe a half smile. "A good walk can clear the heart and head." She advised, then slipped out into the night.
______________________________
Helga woke up the next morning with Mirium hanging over her, telephone in hand. "Um... honey?"
She flipped and held the covers tighter to her, "What could you possibly want at this ungodly hour?"
"It's one in the afternoon..." Mirium mumbled, sipping from a half empty smoothy as she spoke. Since Mirium drank a smoothy an hour, Helga guessed it was more like one thirty. "Oh, yeah, and Alfred's on the phone." This woke Helga up. Arnold never called her. Quickly, she snatched the phone out of her mother's hand.
"Hello?"
"Helga..." Was it just her, or did Arnold sound nervous? "How would you like to go on a walk with me? In, say... a few hours?"
"A good walk to clear the head and heart..." She reminded herself, then out loud "Sure, how about five?"
"It'll take you that long to get ready?"
"Hey, I'm a girl, and I just woke up. Give me a break, sheesh!"
Arnold laughed a bit, "Well, I suppose I'll see you then..."
"Bye." Helga whispered, "I love you."
"Bye." And then he hung up.
______________________________
He motioned to her to sit down next to him on the pier, overlooking the calm waters. "Helga... I don't know how to say this..."
"Just try." She whispered nervously. Their walk to this place had been in a still, thick silence. "Trust me, I'll be able to understand."
He looked up to the sky, in thought. "Helga, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Looking down at her hands, she answered. "A physiologist, I think. I don't know, only time can tell."
"Well... I was thinking... Where we are right now in our lives, we can't really be in a relationship. It might hinder us in the future. Do you understand?"
Helga clinched her fists and looked down into the water, blinking back tears. What kind of explanation was that? Probably just one that he could justify and understand. "Yes." She lied, standing up. Arnold too stood.
"Um, if we were just friends, would that be all right with you? Because, I think I'd like that."
______________________________
She'd ran inside the house, head tucked down. She didn't even bother to close the door, and the cold evening air poured into the Pataki household.
"Hey hey hey! You'd better close that door, little missy!" Bob shouted from his spot in front of the TV. Helga ignored him and ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Once in her room, those pent in tears fell down like rain. With a bang, she turned her home comming pictures over on her desk, then she fell onto her bed. Heart wrenching sobs were muffled by a thick white pillow for hours as she let the tears heal her wounds. Maybe one day they'd both be ready. Maybe one day they'd be together again, when she could sort out her own emotions and tendencies. She parted her dry lips and uttered a phrase of comfort.
"Here's to someday." she whispered before she fell to sleep. "Someday..."